A/N: This story contains dark themes that are not suitable for younger readers which include violence, blood and gore. Read at your own risk.
A Long Way Down
The sky was dark and grey over the wooded area, no color present over the outer campus of the usually cheery and active Alfea School for fairies. There was no shining sun, no warmth to be felt; no flowers were in bloom even though it was spring time. Thunder sounded menacingly from above as the people on the ground trod heavily on the wet dirt, the black they shrouded themselves in matching seamlessly with the gloomy sky. There were muffled tears and sobs as the girls all filed solemnly into rows of rigidly placed chairs, the aisle in the center cordoned off by wilting white rose bouquets.
They all politely paid their respects to the couple standing at the front of the area, a man with flaxen hair holding a dark-haired woman, both teary eyed and gripping to each other for comfort. There were pictures of the beautiful, unfortunate young woman beside them, a podium set up a little further for future use in front of the giant, gaping hole that marked the start of forever, freshly dug yet already old with sadness. No one dared look in that direction for long.
The music sounded after agonizing minutes of silence, a low, mournful dirge that filled the area with more despair and heartbreak. Solemnly, they all rose to face the back of the clearing. Four young men, each one as somber as the last came down the grassy lane, shaded by the willow trees that brushed at them in the wind. They carried a large mahogany case on their shoulders, the burden much heavier then physical weight, the pain so evident in their eyes as they fought the onslaught of emotions that flooded them with grief.
The casket was being carried to its final resting place in the cemetery of Alfea by Sky, Helia, Brandon and Riven all carried the case with tremendous care as heavy drops of rain fell on their cheeks, wetting their suits and messing their hair. The entire student body of Alfea was in attendance, not one girl missing. For once they were all together, but for a tragedy, and for the six girls all huddled together in the front row, this tragedy hit hardest.
"How?" Flora sobbed, dabbing her reddened eyes with a kerchief from her seat in the first row, "how could this have happened?"
"I don't know Flora," Musa replied mutely, her own voice too thick with unshed emotion to come out clearly.
"She just seemed so happy." Stella added in, shivering in the cold wetness of her drenched dress. "From the first moment I met her, I never would've-" she cut off, not able to finish the thought.
"I can't believe that we didn't see the problems that she was having." Aisha said sadly.
Tears freely flowed from the girls eyes as the boys slowly lowered their friend down into the ground. They held onto each other through running mascara and soaking wet dresses. Every girl did, but not as desperately as they did. The girls recognized with pained hearts that she would never get to grow up and live a happy life. She would never get to marry, have children, or be able to take the throne that she was destined for.
Ms. Griselda's heels echoed as she walked down the halls of the school looking for the one student that had decided to skip her morning classes. She had no idea where this young lady could be but she did know that she was not in her dorm room. Wherever she was hiding, she was going to be in a world of trouble. Turning the corner angrily, she could see Flora and Musa talking. Just her luck, maybe her friends had an idea of where she had decided to run off to so early in the morning.
"Have either of you two seen Miss Roxy today?" Ms. Griselda asked as she approached the two girls before her. Their startled faces told her that they had no idea of their friend's mysterious absence.
"Not since breakfast," Flora replied. "Is she in trouble?"
"She has decided to skip her classes this morning;" Griselda answered tersely, "Ophelia never received a phone call saying that she would not be attending."
"That doesn't sound like her," Musa said with a worried voice.
"Let's go find her." Flora replied with the same worried tone that, her anxiety rising. She turned, Musa following close behind her, to start the search.
"Tell her that she is in trouble for not attending classes." Griselda called out as she watched the two girls rush off into the distance. She rolled her eyes. Would these girls ever stop getting in trouble?
In the mean time, Musa pulled out her phone and called Bloom to let her know what has happened; after telling Flora that the others were searching for Roxy as well, the two decided to split up to cover more of the school.
Flora was left alone, walking along the empty corridors of the Dragon's Flame tower, the windows casting long shadows in the afternoon sun. She was nervous, wondering where Roxy could be hiding, if she was even in this place. Reaching the stairs that led to the top of the tower, suddenly remembering that Bloom had told her that it was a good place to go and have some time to think to herself. Of course Roxy would find somewhere like this enticing, especially if she didn't want to be found. The stairs were numerous, climbing and spiraling up to the top of the tower. Exiting through the door she was greeted by a stellar view of Magix, seeing miles and miles of forest and greenery, even the skyline of the city and the glistening blue waters of Lake Roccaluce. And of course, she was happy that she had found her friend leaning against the wrought iron railing looking off into the distance.
"Roxy," Flora called as she approached her side.
Roxy turned reluctantly to look at Flora with tears flowing from her violet eyes.
"Is everything alright?" Flora asked as she quickly rushed over and wrapped her friend into a hug.
"No Flora," Roxy sobbed, her tears leaking through to Flora's silk blouse.
"What's wrong?" Flora asked, her voice firm and comforting, urging her friend to talk to her.
At first, Roxy was reluctant to say anything, her body buried in Flora's shoulder. But after many minutes of Flora combing her fingers gently though her hair and having her back rubbed in soothing circles, she finally pulled away and wiped her eyes. She let out a shuddering breath before starting.
"It's just all the stress," she sighed, watching the horizon listlessly. "I'm so tired of being stressed out every minute of every day."
"What is there to be stressed out about? Grades? Because sweetie, if you need a tutor you know Tecna is-" Flora tried, but was immediately cut off.
"No! It's not that! I don't care about my grades; I don't care about this school!" she shouted, her voice practically echoing across the campus. "I wish everyone would stop hounding me about my grades!"
"Sweetie… this isn't about grades is it, what's really going on?"
"It's everyone in this school. They think that since I am Morgana's daughter, I should be some sort of prodigy. But I'm not. I can barely lift a vase none the less transfigure things or conjure up a healing potion! All the stress of being perfect, it's suffocating! And I feel like every time I fail or mess something up, I let everyone down!"
"It's okay sweetie. Not everyone learns at the same pace; it's completely normal," Flora moved her arm to comfort Roxy, but she felt the girl tense instead of relax.
"But they laugh at me Flora! They tease me because I am failing WizGiz's class and can barely maintain a shield in Griselda's defense training," she wailed, throwing Flora's arm off of her in anger. "I feel useless! I am a useless fairy. Absolutely useless!"
"No you're not!" Flora protested, reaching out to her friend in desperation. "You've done so many wonderful things, like bring fairies back to Earth and stopping the Wizards of the Black Circle. We couldn't have done that without you!"
"Yeah right," Roxy snorted, scoffing at Flora's attempts. "I was hunted by the Wizards and practically ran around like a damsel in distress, waiting for you to save me. And you girls were the ones who brought back the people's faith in fairies by putting yourselves out there. I was too scared to believe I even was a fairy until the whole world knew. I'm barely even a fairy now."
"That's not true and you know it," Flora refuted strongly, "Now listen to me Roxy. You are perfect the way you are; you will be a great fairy one day, you just need training. We all do in the beginning."
"But what if that's not enough Flora? What if I never learn?"
"You can't know that. And you will learn. You are a strong, independent fairy!"
"But I do know that! I will never learn! It's too late for me, and now I'm stuck as a freak for the rest of my life. Unless…"
Roxy was running her hands along the railing of the tower, staring at it intently, like she was burning with intensity. And then Flora couldn't stop what happened next, couldn't stop Roxy's agile body as she threw her legs over the ledge, pushing herself up, precariously balanced on the edge. The wind rippled through her hair, threatening to knock her over and down from the ten-story tall spire. Flora seized with fear, not processing what was happening until Roxy faltered, and she screamed as the girl caught her balance once more, yet she made no move to dismount to the ground.
"R-Roxy," Flora stuttered, trying to edge closer to her friend.
"Stay back," Roxy ordered and Flora held her hands defensively in front of her and pushed her foot closer.
"Roxy, listen to me, everything is going to be okay. You will be a great fairy, I promise," Flora quavered, reaching out for her. "Just come down and I'll show you."
"You're just saying that." Roxy laughed harshly, her eyes transfixed on the drop ahead of her.
"No I'm not-" Flora tried, her eyes welling up with distressed tears.
"Yes you are!" Roxy yelled, cutting her off, turning to look at her friend over her shoulder. "Why can't anyone just be honest with me for once? Why can't anyone just tell me that I'm a horrible fairy that I have no courage or strength or any of what you girls have! I don't deserve to even have these powers, I don't deserve them!"
"Everyone deserves to have them!" Flora shouted in vain, her voice high pitched and desperate. "Thousands of people on Earth wish that they had the ability to make a difference in the world and you have that chance… please don't waste it."
Roxy seemed still, a breeze blew through her hair as tears streaked down her cheeks, making them look puffy and red. Minutes passed by in agonizing pain, but nothing in their condition changed. Flora took this opportunity to sneak a little closer, close enough to grab her wrist. She took a light hold on her, saying "Please Roxy, just come down from there."
Hoping that her words had given the fairy pause for thought, she waited for Roxy to step down into her arms. However, she didn't move towards Flora at all, her eyes closed as she started to speak. "Flora, you have been a good friend, my only friend, and I am sorry."
"No, Roxy don't," Flora pleaded, her voice coated with tears, and she pulled back on her wrist, fearful of what was to come, but all it did was break the hold.
"Tell my parents I love them."
And in that moment Flora's world came crashing down. Her feet hit into a sprint but it was already too late, Roxy was already over the edge, her body silently slipping from the iron bars, vanishing from sight, making her decent to the harsh earth below with no way to turn back. Her last sight was of her long pink hair snaking down with her, and just as soon as the last of her was gone, a sickening crack filled the air, one that silenced all other sounds in the area.
"No!" Flora screamed.
Against better judgment, she looked over the banister with tears freely flowing only to have her heart ripped from her chest and her stomach rightfully upturned. She whipped her head away, covering her mouth to prevent from gagging at the sight. Hot tears stung at her eyes, her sobs the silent kind that turned her whole face red, and the mixture of that heat and her roiling stomach made her physically incapacitated. She stumbled about, clutching to the railing with sweaty white knuckles, trying to process what had just happened, before braving the sight once again.
The second look was worse than the first, because now that the initial gore was over, she was actually able to see that the broken mass of human below was actually her friend. She could see Roxy's face between the pools of blood that had formed from her ears and eyes, and down her nose. She could still read the animal logo on her tee shirt even though her torso had practically been split in two and flattened to the point that her organs lay around her and her spine poked out of her stomach. Her arms and legs were bent at unnatural angles, some of the appendages even completely crushed beneath her weight.
It was too much, too much to handle, too much to believe. Flora had just spoken to her; she had been alive and well all day and night. On Tuesday they got pizza and studied for the potions exam and told stories from when they were young. Just last weekend they had been planning a trip to Earth so that Roxy could see her family and friends. But now, all that would never happen, and it just didn't seem real. It wasn't possible; she couldn't be gone. But she was; that was her body on the ground, staining the grass a crimson color and absolutely breaking her heart.
And then Flora screamed. It was loud and primal and completely devastated. If she hadn't had heard it coming from out of her own mouth, she would've never believed she was capable of such a noise. But out it came, and it didn't stop. Every fairy in the campus opened their windows to see what the source of such a horrible sound was, and all of their eyes led them to the same sight as Flora.
They all cried and gasped, whispered as they saw the body splayed on the ground. The teachers were notified all of them rushing to the green to see what had become of their student. Ms. Griselda held her breath and muttered something in grief under her breath as she came upon Roxy. So this was where her runaway had fled to.
Flora was angered at them, trying to move Roxy out of the way. How dare they touch her! How dare they disturb her now! And she transformed before she could stop herself, crouching in front of Roxy's body to protect her from nothing at all. There was no danger; she just wanted them all to leave. This was a private affair. She could take them all, with her Sirenix powers no one could stop her, but she was still frozen, unable to move from her defensive position, barely able to breath.
She didn't know how long she stayed like that, but no one moved her until she felt a hand on her shoulder, a comforting hand, Musa's hand. And then she lost it. She lost her resolve to stay strong and sunk to the ground, clutching onto Musa, and then Roxy's body. She cradled her partial frame until she was pried away by Aisha who forced her to get up, that they needed to remove the body before the animals got to it. Flora didn't care; Roxy loved animals. She could be with them now. But she was made to get up and away, sobbing and fighting the entire time. She slept in Roxy's blood that still lingered on her hands, but it's not like she slept anyway. She kept having nightmares about that jump, and she knew that they would never go away.
"Flora are you okay?"
Musa's voice cut through the void of her hellish mind, snapping Flora from her thoughts and bringing her back to the present day, where the other five were discreetly staring at her with concerned looks on their faces, just like they had for every moment of the past week.
"Define okay," Flora muttered as she wiped the fresh tears from her eyes and looked to make sure no one else had noticed her slipping off into her memories for a moment. Headmistress Faragonda was doing her best to try and offer a little comfort to Klaus and Morgana while her face was solemn and sad, her hair a little greyer then usual, her face a little more wrinkled and drawn with age. From what Flora heard from the whispers amongst the teachers nearby this was not the first time a student had committed suicide but this was the first time it was a freshman. Somehow, it only made her sadder to know that other good fairies had died just like Roxy had, that they had chosen to die instead of spread their light.
Flora glanced around slowly to see Palladium staring in shock at the coffin, DuFour carefully positioned next to him with her hands in his own. She could see the tears slowly flowing down both of their cheeks, though not a word was passed between the pair. Flora had known that Roxy was one of Palladium's favorite students; he liked to help the troubled or struggling girls in the school and her death must've made him feel as if he failed her in some way. WizGiz was sitting not far away with a solemn look on his face, though he would never express his true emotion. Ophelia was sitting next to him with tears freely flowing from her eyes, loud sobbing coming from her direction as she blew noisily into a handkerchief. And finally there was Ms. Griselda who looked both solemn and as if she were about to bawl her eyes out. From what WizGiz had murmured to Ophelia a moment ago, Griselda believed Roxy's death was her fault for not letting the girl do things at her own pace.
Flora didn't agree with Griselda's judgment. It was her own fault for not being able to talk Roxy out of it, or catch her as she fell, no one else's.
"Well, we're going to say our goodbyes, if you want to join us," Musa continued, placing a hand gently on Flora's shoulder, a gesture she made no response to.
"In a minute…" Flora relied; her eyes fixed hazily ahead. "I just need a few more moments."
Musa nodded and turned back to the girls, all of whom were clustered in a tight circle near the foot of the coffin. Bloom was sniffling on Stella's shoulder. She hadn't said a word all day; Flora knew it was because Bloom was just as close to Roxy as she was. Bloom was the one to first get through to Roxy in the beginning and they were actually the first to be friends. They were so similar in their origins, that she was sure that Bloom could only be thinking how wrong her first year could've gone if someone like Roxy would have been driven to suicide. Bloom must've felt so incredibly grateful to be alive, to have survived, that Flora could only sympathize with her on this front.
All of them proceeded forwards, going as a group to say goodbye, each girl dropping a rose as they finished. There were more tears, and Flora watched them depart through the willow trees. She was all alone in the clearing save for Mother Nature herself, who was still wailing and moaning in the wind and freezing rain.
Slowly she rose, almost like a zombie, unfeeling and detached, and shuffled to the coffin, that large black box intricately carved with ancient sayings from the Earth fairies staring back at her. She was stoic until she reached the edge of the hole dug from the iron-hard earth, the golden scroll glinting up at her through the dirt and rain, and she fell to her knees, collapsing to the ground.
"Why Roxy? Why" Flora cried, pounding on the ground, clawing at the dirt, muddying up her new black mourning gown that Stella had designed for her.
She practically wanted to bury herself with Roxy, desperate to be with her, just to understand why this had even happened at all. She was so caught up in her antics that she barely recognized the sensation of a hand being placed on her back, pulling her up to face the sky, where she saw the most impossible sight. There Roxy was, standing and glowing with an aura of white light, looking as if nothing had ever happened.
"Flora don't cry; I'm fine now," she cooed, smiling down genuinely at her shocked friend. It took a few moments before Flora got up and grabbed at her, each of her attempts passing right through her body, which only provoked more waterworks.
"But you were happy here, with us," Flora choked, still reaching in vain. "Come back!"
"I can't… it doesn't work like that," she tried, her smile sadder now.
"But it's not fair! It's not fair!" Flora shrieked, her body threatening to shut down again, her knees knocking in the wet coldness of the air.
"I know, but it's my choice. I chose this."
"But why? We cared about you Roxy! I would've done anything to save you." Flora cried out.
"You know that I love you. Tell the girls I love them, and I'm sorry." Roxy replied.
"Come back Roxy, please, come back!"
"I will always be with you Flora, but you have to accept the fact that I am gone," Roxy explained patiently, gesturing to her body. "You have to continue to live."
"But how?" Flora pleaded, desperate for some relief.
"By moving on."
It was such an obvious answer, but something that was much easier said then done. It was easy for Roxy to say; obviously she had not complications or hesitations about leaving everyone she loved to suffer, but the hole left in Flora's heart was one she knew would not fill easily, if ever at all. How could anyone else even dare to compare to Roxy, to rival for her spot in her heart?
"But how can you just expect me to forget you?" Flora asked through runny eyes.
"You have such a big heart Flora, so full of love. Go and give it to someone who deserves it, someone more worthy of it then me," Roxy explained, beaming at her wonderful friend.
"But you deserved it!" Flora protested as Roxy tried to turn away from her. "You still do!"
"Go and live your life Flora. Don't waste it mourning me any more," Roxy persuaded her, pushing her away from her gravelly tomb. "Goodbye."
"Roxy, I-"
"Flora!" Distracted against her will, Flora ripped her focus harshly away from Roxy to face her callers, her other friends still loitering in the opening, obviously returned to fetch her. "Are you coming?" Musa continued, waving her over.
"In a second!" she called in a jittery voice, watching as Musa gave her a thumbs up signal. She nodded, but as she went to continue with her conversation, she was met with nothing but the cold wind in her face, an empty space in front of her. A few moments ago, she would've cried out and bawled some more, but now, she sucked in her tears, remembering Roxy's words. She needed to move on in order to live. She couldn't just shut down and block all her love away. She needed her friends, and right now, they were all in a group, patiently waiting on her as they shivered and shook.
"Goodbye Roxy," Flora gave a terse smile before walking away from the coffin, not turning to look back or give a final farewell. She just walked towards the girls, their arms out and open in invitation of a hug which she gladly took. She needed it, but not tears came, at least on her end. She had to start living again. She had to be content living her live, and with Roxy living on through her.
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