Gone so fast and now you're left with nothing
Rating: M for drug use, sex, language, violence and rape. I may add some more nasty surprises, but I will warn you in advance about the bad bits, I promise.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any characters and I really shouldn't. Title from "It's not your fault" by Athlete
So for about a week or two I've been wondering what happened to Jeremiah after he got fired and my brain came up with this little story, which then turned into a long story, or a huge pile of angst as I like to see it.
Life isn't fair. One day your life is normal, you have friends, a job and a roof over your head and the next you've lost everything. Jeremiah couldn't help but hate Blaine. He tried to tell himself that the kid was naïve, that he had no idea what consequences his actions could have but it didn't work. They had coffee together, they had talked about the difficulties of being gay. Blaine knew, he had been beaten up, he had fallen out with his parents, he hid behind his ironic performer-in-a-uniform façade. He knew about Jeremiah's problems, that he was kicked out, that he lost a lot of his friends and was currently residing with an 18 year old rent boy. Yet he thought it was okay to sing a highly inappropriate song at Jeremiah's workplace.
It wasn't all Blaine's fault, he thought. GAP shouldn't have fired him over his sexuality, that was just discrimination. Of course, they made excuses. They blamed the recession and those few times when he had been late or made little mistakes. But he knew what it was about. Amy managed to come in late every day, never do any work and now she had been given the position as junior manager, his position.
Jeremiah sighed and turned his attention to the job listings in the local paper. There really wasn't anything going. Of course he'd have to get fired in the middle of a recession. Highly educated people were now fighting over barista jobs at the Lima Bean. Of course, he could never work there anyway. He'd have to see that smug child's face every day as he waltzed in wearing his private school uniform, dragging that ridiculously flamboyant and lovesick friend with him.
Frustrated, Jeremiah threw the paper across the room and stared at it for a second before the front door opened. Simon sauntered in and threw his bag on the floor before launching himself at his temporary roommate, crushing their lips together.
"What are you on?" Jeremiah pushed Simon off him and just stared. He was tall and thin, very feminine with sharp cheekbones and messy black hair. He was absolutely stunning, but his lips were dry and cracked and eyes were darting from side to side, making him look insane. Simon grinned and stared back, not trying to hide his dilated pupils. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it to reveal a white powder.
"You know I don't do drugs," Jeremiah started as Simon dabbed his finger in the powder and lifted it towards his friend's face.
"You haven't really got anything to lose anymore," Simon pointed out and gently lifted Jeremiah's top lip to rub the powder over his gums. "It's pure Columbian cocaine. I had a very wealthy client this afternoon."
Jeremiah winced at the strong taste of chemicals filling his mouth and watched as his roommate dabbed some more cocaine onto his finger and snorted it. Was this really what Simon did most nights? Jeremiah knew he was a prostitute and he knew there were a lot of drugs involved, after hearing all the stories. He couldn't imagine that people would pay a barely legal boy to get high and have sex with them though, it all sounded so different from the world he knew.
All of a sudden the rush hit Jeremiah. His thoughts whizzed faster and then stopped. He felt his mouth go numb and then he was attacked by Simon's lips again, strong and demanding. It was strange, he was aware that he was being kissed but he couldn't physically feel it properly. The only thing he could feel was his pulse speeding up and he wasn't sure if it was from the drugs or from the kiss and then there was a hand in his hair and a body pressed against his and maybe it was a combination of both.
It was… good. He felt attractive, wanted, powerful even. He felt hands all over his body, pulling him closer, removing his clothes. It was his best friend, but did it really matter? The last month had been awful and he needed a little something to take his mind off it. So he didn't hesitate. Not when Simon stood up and took Jeremiah's hand, leading him to the bedroom. Not when he heard the question "how do you want to do this?" whispered in his ear and he certainly didn't hesitate before showing the other boy exactly what he wanted from him.
A warm, heavy feeling on Jeremiah's chest woke him. His head felt warm and heavy too, one of those dull, throbbing headaches was on its way. His mouth felt dry and now whatever it was started moving, covering his whole torso. He forced his eyes open and was grateful for the thick roman blinds over the window. Bright morning light was the last thing he needed right now. He glanced down and found the source of the weight across his body. Simon.
Shit, they shouldn't have done that. Jeremiah started freaking out as he always did when he lost control of a situation. Simon was his friend, the only person kind enough to put Jeremiah up after his parents kicked him out when he told them he was gay. Friends weren't supposed to get high and sleep with each other. Shit shit shit.
Jeremiah must have thought the last bit out loud because Simon opened his eyes. "Calm down," he muttered. "It didn't mean anything." It didn't calm Jeremiah down though, not one bit. How could Simon be so calm about it? Of course it meant something, it always meant something! Jeremiah had never done anything like this before. Not like he hadn't had sex before, after all, he did have a boyfriend until a few months ago, but this was completely different. This was meant to be a casual encounter, but it didn't feel casual. All he knew about was sex with feelings, he didn't know what would come next, if it would change their relationship, if it would happen again.
Simon must have read Jeremiah's mind. Or his thoughts were written all over him because Simon leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "I love you, J, but neither of us needs a boyfriend right now. What we needed last night was a bit of fun and appreciation." He paused for a moment and shot his famous cheeky grin at his best friend. "It was good though."
Jeremiah blushed, but he couldn't help but agree. He had finally let loose and allowed himself to just have fun without thinking of the consequences. Sure, it had been rough and a little sloppy, but it had been spontaneous and still pretty mind-blowing. He really was uptight most of the time, he realised.
A loud knock on the front door shook Jeremiah from his thoughts. He looked over at Simon. Although Jeremiah had been living there for almost two months, it was still supposed to be temporary and he didn't feel quite comfortable opening the door, especially as it could easily be a client. Simon didn't move though.
"It's probably Mark," he explained. "Technically it's his place so he has a key. And if it's anyone else, they can fuck off. I have no meetings or obligations today."
Sure enough, a smart-looking man in his 30's barged into the room just seconds later. Jeremiah had seen him in passing several times, leaving the apartment just as he came home. Simon had explained that he was his pimp or "agent" as he called himself.
"How's my golden boy?" Mark saw Jeremiah in the bed and laughed. "Ah, good to see you still know how to have fun. Most of my boys are having a hard time understanding the difference between business and pleasure these days. I must say, I get happy when I walk in on someone with a person I've never seen before."
Simon sat up in bed and lit a cigarette. "Hey Mark. This is my friend, Jeremiah." Mark raised an eyebrow and pulled out a large wad of cash from the inside pocket of his leather jacket. "Friend? Thank god, I was worried you had got yourself a boyfriend. You did really well this week, you're one of my best earners. I don't want to see you go yet." He handed the money over to Si, who just stuffed it in the pocket of his jeans that were still on the floor. "Don't worry, I'm really not the boyfriend type. I just pretend to be, that's why I'm so good at the job."
Jeremiah was surprised. He had never heard anyone talk so openly about prostitution. Well, Simon did, but he thought it was only him. He had never heard a proper dialogue on the topic, in fact he had hardly heard an open conversation about sex since high school and then gay stuff was definitely out of the question. It was refreshing, different from what he was used to. But that's why Simon was his best friend, he supposed. They could always talk freely about anything, whereas most people had always tried to suppress parts of Jeremiah's personality, especially his sexuality.
Now there was an actual conversation going on right in front of Jeremiah and there he was, losing himself in his own thoughts. He snapped his attention back, just to find Mark's eyes on him, like he was trying to make a big decision.
"You're stunning, did you know that?" Jeremiah choked in surprise and shook his head. No one had complimented his appearance before, he usually just heard that he was clever and had so much potential but even these were followed by expressions of disappointment most of the time.
"Those eyes," Mark continued. "A lot of men would go crazy over them. I'd love to have you join the team, you'd be pretty popular."
Jeremiah was speechless, he wasn't expecting anything like that. But then again, he wasn't expecting to have a conversation with a pimp while lying naked in his best friend's bed. Strange how things turned out, he thought.
"No," Simon answered in Jeremiah's place. "He's a good boy, aren't you, J?" Mark laughed.
"Do you always fall into bed with good boys? Shame though, you could make a fair amount of money. Well I'd better be off." He zipped up his jacket and turned to leave, but stopped before he even made it to the bedroom door. "Hey, let me know if you change your mind. It's not just sex, you know. In fact, I think you'd be more suitable for dates."
"Why did you say that?" Jeremiah asked as soon as he heard the front door close.
"What?" Simon looked surprised. "I didn't think it was your thing. I mean, you freaked out over one night with me, you couldn't cope with a different stranger every night." He continued, pulling on an oversize jumper and a pair of black jeans that were probably supposed to be tight but hung loose on his skinny legs. His nonchalance annoyed Jeremiah.
"That wasn't planned though! I'm a control freak and this would at least be structured, with rules and stuff. You keep telling me how Mark is so good, how he looks after his boys and makes sure they're safe. Besides, I wouldn't do the sex bit." Simon shook his head.
"J, think about this. You are considering prostitution. You were the junior manager of GAP at the North Hills mall. This is a last resort, not a career choice."
Simon put his arm around Jeremiah and pulled him in for a hug.
"You had opportunities," Jeremiah muttered under his breath. Simon snapped his head up, eyes wide.
"Jeremiah, look at me. I'm a drug addict with various mental illnesses. Yes, I'm intelligent, but I sabotage myself in every way possible and truly believe I deserve to be miserable. We're not alike in any way. Sure, I'm a free spirit or whatever you want to call it, but this destroys even my soul, I can't imagine what it would do to yours." Simon took Jeremiah's hand and pulled him up off the bed.
"Come on, let's get dressed and find you a job, I haven't got any clients today anyway. I'll buy you dinner tonight." Jeremiah looked up at his best friend. He felt his eyes fill with tears. "You're so good to me, I'm so sorry. You really don't have to look after me, say the word and I'm gone." Simon shushed him. "You put up with my crazy and remind me that some people are genuine. It's the least I can do. Now stop crying before I drug you again."