Warning: crack, cursing, fighting, screwed-up, ect.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Pairing: Only hinted. Major Christophe/Kyle/Gregory.
A/N: I make fun of everything and anything. If you have a problem, don't read it.
Summary: Stan Marsh is trying hard to become the Pirate King, how? By finding One Piece.
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Once upon a time, in a world that was stuck in the Golden Pirate Age.
A man named Gol D. Rodges, was alive, and completely dominated the world of piracy.
We called him the 'Pirate King'.
One day, the marines got him, and at the site of his execution, when the man died, with the last words that would forever ring throughout the world.
"My fortune is your for the taking," the male grinned, something that chilled the audience to this day, "But you have to find it first. I left everything I owned in One Piece."
Since then, pirates all over the world had set out, searching for One Piece, the treasure that will bring your dreams come true.
A giddy laugh escaped Kenny's lips.
He was going to try to become a pirate. And he would find a great crew, and they will go off on their merry way.
And he will escape this crummy thing he called a life. Oh, how he hoped to be free!
"Who are they?"
"I dunno, travellers?"
The hush-hush whispered of the townspeople weren't very quiet.
A soft sigh, and the blond stood up, and pulled the orange parka on him a little tighter.
It was better if no one saw him.
And then, as he exited the old house, he saw them.
Two males, one with a lion's mane of red hair tied into a low pony tail underneath his green ushanka with four swords (all chained up too) attached to the right side of his hip, while he was laughing softly with his companion, the taller, larger male with deep ocean blue eyes, and the strangest red-puff ball on top of his blue hat.
"Dude, do you think we'll make it?" the whisper came from the taller male.
The red-head stopped, and turned around his emerald eyes in a state of complete shock, "What are you saying? You're going to be the King," his voice dropped to a whisper, "I'll make sure of it."
"Kyle, we have two people in our crew," the male sighed, shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "That's not much-"
"Are you guys pirates?"
Kenny almost cursed audibly as he realized that he was talking to the males.
Emerald eyes narrowed before a pale hand gripped a dagger tightly, as if he was ready to thrust it into someone's neck, while the male next to him raised an arm to stop him, "Yes, we are, is there a problem?"
The voice was low, as though he was ready to kill him at the chance.
Kenny shook his head, "No, I was just curious," he said simply, before turning his curious bright blue eyes to the four swords at his side once more.
Why would someone chain four swords together?
Shrugging it off, Kenny lurked back to the previous conversation, it wasn't like it was a complete lie, he did wonder who they were and why there were here.
Here, the small town of Orange Town.
It was even a plain name.
Whatever, he had what he needed, although he wouldn't mind taking their treasures as well.
"My name is Kenny, Kenny McCormick," he grinned, and raised his arm as he tried to greet them.
The large male, who was only a couple of inches taller than him, nodded, a smile playing at his lips, "Stan, Captain of the La Resistance," he grinned happily.
"La Resistance?" Kenny repeated, a raised eyebrow in question.
"Kyle," the red-head behind him said, a smirk on his face.
He was challenging the parka-man alright.
He gritted out a smile, not that they saw it, and pulled down his parka, letting his bright blond hair shift around his face like the ragged doll people saw him as.
"Nice to meet you."
Kenny's smirk widened when the two nodded, Stan actually starting conversations with him while Kyle continued looking around.
"So, what's going on here?" he asked, motioning to the lack of human life in the town.
"Oh, this Pirate guy came by," Kenny shook his head, pretending to shudder in fear, and took notice of the concern in the male's eyes.
For a captain, he was very innocent and naive.
"Captain Buggy, and he... he's blowing up the town," he gulped.
That part, that fear in him was pure.
It was real.
Sort of.
"Really?" obviously enough, Stan was worried, "Kyle, I'll be back, alright?" he said, before turning back to the blond, "Where is he?"
Turning away so the captain wouldn't see the smirk on his face, he pointed down the alley, over there.
With a hasty nod, the male followed after him.
"Did everyone else leave due to fear?" he asked quietly.
"Yes," the curt nod came, a dark loom appearing on his face, "Those fuckers came by and took the town away."
"Who are they?"
"They are the Buggy pirates," Kenny said, nodding his head, as he gulped. He carefully noticed that the red-head wasn't seen anymore.
This should be far enough.
"So, where are they?" he asked, looking around, taking careful notice of the the empty homes.
"Idiot," Kenny scoffed before he wrapped some ropes around him, trying him as tightly as possible, "Like hell I'd help pirates," he grumbled, before smirking and tugged his hood on tighter, and continued to walk towards the building, the male in tow.
The pair reached a home, and after climbing to the top of the roof, Kenny casually tossed Stan in front of a clown-nosed male.
"Sire, I got you that thief," he said simply, a soft grin on his face as he casually held up a rolled up piece of paper, "And the treasure map that he was holding."
"So, you are that kind of person," Stan sighed softly.
The smirk on Kenny's face didn't fade, or even falter.
But he had a small sense of disappointment hit him.
And some anger, like a pirate had a right to to be disappointed in him?
Carefully shrugging it off, he clenched his fists as he watched the male be chained and thrown into a metal, iron bar cage.
Like an animal.
Kenny faked it all, laughing with the crew as he downed some alcohol, it wasn't like he could actually get drunk easily or something.
"I'm Kenny and you can't out-drink me!" he cried out happily, as if he was enjoying this.
Stan snorted at that.
"What's with you?"
"No, I just can't believe that you would let yourself live like this," the male shrugged, blowing a stray strand of black hair out of his forehead.
"You make it sound like you have a better life," the blond gritted through his teeth, all traces of once happiness leaving his face.
"Talking to your old leader?" the arrogant voice came through, and Kenny smirked.
"'Old leader' my ass, Christophe," he grinned.
The brunette stared at him, and looked away.
As though he was disappointed.
What was with people and being disappointed with him? If only they knew the hell he had to go through because he wanted revenge-
No.
He shook that thought out.
He could never and will never tell it these... scumbags.
His 'captain' howled with laughter, getting the trio's attention.
"Boys! Prepare the special Buggy cannon!" he screamed, as he walked towards the caged male, leaning down to leer in his face, allowing his crew to run around, excited cheers and grins escaping through their faces.
The male stared back, as impassive as ever.
"Don't worry, you'll be put out of your misery soon," he said, obviously enjoying all of this.
"My misery? I'm more concerned about yours," he retorted simply, not a single shred of fear slipping through.
Like he truely wasn't.
Buggy's eyes narrowed, "You won't be as cocky once you've seen the damage," he motioned to the cannon that was ready, "-My cannon can do!"
A large, red ball with the Buggy Pirates logo was inserted to the large, light gray cannon...
...and aimed at the homes of the villages.
His fists clenched as he glared harder, the best he could with his hood covering his face.
No one noticed.
And after a heart laugh that was shared with the crew, the cannon was turned to face Stan.
"Now then," Buggy said, "Kill him," he said easily to Kenny.
"What?" he blinked, utterly surprised.
"Kill him, light the cannon, and watch him blow up," bright blue eyes turned into oceanic ones, the ones that threatened to swallow him up whole.
"I... Can't we just ignore him?" he squeaked out, a hopeful look spreading across his face, he didn't want to be a murderer, "Let's just drink... Yeah! Let's just drink!"
The cold glare came against him with a smirk.
"Kill him. Now."
And the male stepped back to his crew.
He looked up at the male he was supposed to kill.
And then, the male smirked, as though everything was playing at his pace, even as the cannon fell in front of him, the clown male grinning like the crazed maniac he was.
"C'mon Kenny," he grinned, taunted, "Shoot. Kill him. Prove your loyalty."
"'Ere, Kenny," Christophe yawned, leaning down to the cannon, and lit the fuse, "That's 'ow you-"
He was cut dangerously short as a red-haired male kicked him over, sending him to the ground another ten feet away.
"Kyle!" Stan cried happily.
"What?" the voice, without a doubt, was irritated.
Kenny was stunned speechless, remembering when he kicked the hired assassin go sliding against the ground, a surprised look on his face.
"You guys alright?" the male asked, calm emerald eyes shimmering with concern.
The black-haired male heaved a sigh of relief, and the blond felt himself nodding.
"Kyle?"
The breathless whisper rang through the crowd, as emerald eyes narrowed, before a large cackle was heard.
"What?" he turned his attention over to the male who wanted it.
Buggy.
"So, are you and your 'team' here for my head?"
"Nah, I don't even know who you are, so that's pointless," the male shrugged, a smug smirk on his face.
Eyes narrowed at him.
"Tough words for someone that will be covered in blood in moments," he growled, holding five knives in between his fingers.
A raised, elegant, red eyebrow, was directed to him, as he drew two daggers.
"Yeah, in your blood."
"The captain's going to fight someone..." the whispers were excited.
And just like that, the fight was over, their 'beloved' captain in pieces, and Kyle victorious, as he tucked his daggers away.
"C'mon let's get you out-" he was cut short, a knife ramming through his chest, as he coughed, his eyes turning darker.
"Kyle!" Stan slammed against the cage, eyes burning with fury as he tried to get to his best friend.
"I'm fine!" the male called back, as he ripped the knife out, and stabbed it through the hand, the floating hand, halfway ripping it off before he swiftly turned back to his captain, desperately trying to ignore the laughs and taunts of the other crew members.
"I'm ate the Devil Fruit," buggy grinned, obviously not dead, "The Bara Bara No Mi, to be exact."
Emerald eyes narrowed, a twinge of disappointment stroking through his eyes.
"Kyle?"
Kenny was trying hard to keep his mouth close, watching as Kyle tapped the cage, and sighed, breathing heavily as he glanced around.
And then, he smirked.
"Kyle?"
He ignored his captain, and instead, flipped the cannon over, letting it face the pirates instead of them.
"Light it," he said simply, before turning away.
The blond nodded, watching as the pirates ran and screamed in fear, putting one of the matches Christophe had left before and letting it go up in flames.
Something, had he been in any other situation, that he probably wouldn't have done.
Leaning down and gently lifting the cage upon the small shoulder, "Go!" he grunted, the wound spurting around the ground.
"No! Kyle, leave me behind," he captain called, but it fell on deaf ears.
Kenny gaped.
What was with him and being utterly surprised all the time now?
Were all pirates this crazy? He never seen someone ignore a wound that was gushing out a river of blood, just to save a single person, just to save their captains.
No, Kenny thoroughly believed that no one would do that for anyone, for two obvious reasons as well. First of all, it was halfway physically impossible, and secondly, when someone is caged up for the taken, and you're bleeding all over the place, anyone's first reaction was to save themselves, right?
The three settled into a dark alleyway, where Kyle dropped his captain's cage on the ground, before nearly collapsing on top of it.
"Kyle..."
"It... It's not as bad as it looks," the male gasped.
Kenny rolled his eyes, "The house here is empty," he said, recalling old events, "I'll... try to patch you up."
Emerald eyes turned to him, suspicious as he nodded, "I can patch... it up myself," he said, "Do you have the key?"
"Do I look like a thief?"
"Yes."
Wow, this day was full of surprises as baby blue eyes blinked at the male who had read him so easily.
"I..." the male paused, and he shook his head, one more lie wouldn't hurt, "I don't have it."
The red-head nodded, standing up straight as he turned to back to his captain, "This will hurt if I miss, so stop moving."
"Kyle," Stan said, trying to be stern, "Don't scare him."
The male shrugged, before drawing two daggers, both nearly five inches in width, as the thickness was narrow, but turned thick as it reached the back of the blade, it fell halfway down to his elbows.
Two slices, ones that were a complete blur to the blond, before the cage split open, and after a second, the chains around his captain completely dispersed onto the ground.
"Ready?"
"Born ready," Stan smirked back.
The two nodded at each other.
"Your wound?" the black-haired male asked.
The red-head's breathing was not one to ignore, as the smaller male nodded.
"I-I'll be fine," he said.
Kenny snorted, two pairs of eyes fell on him.
"Like hell you are," he grumbled, "Here. Let me help you."
It was strange, helping his enemy.
Then again, enemies don't save their enemies.
Right?
Kenny sighed, giving up on thinking, and focused his thoughts on helping.
He owed Kyle that much.
And only that much.
Within the next half hour, he had finally got the male to calm down and patch up his wound.
Baby blue eyes blinked in somewhat surprise as he watched the red-head lift up his shirt barely enough to show the wound, as he looked back up at the male...
And was that a blush on his face?
"Hurry up."
Kenny stiffed a laugh and began working.
Odd. He never felt this relaxed in a long, long time.
The two were finished rather early, as Kenny sternly told the male to get some rest, he went outside to check on the captain.
And he was greeted with the sight of a bald lion on the ground, and Mohji, the lion's owner, whimpering in pain.
"Don't. Come. Back," Stan growled.
Kenny felt himself whistle in surprise and amazement, while the lion-trainer sprang to his feet, tears welling up his eyes, "S-Screw you!" he screamed, before rushing off.
"Loser," Stan muttered darkly, before turning to the blond, a bright look appearing on his face, "How is he?" he asked.
"I... uh..." Kenny gulped.
Wow. First time in a while since he was actually speechless.
"He... He's okay, right?" Stan asked, quieter.
"Yeah, yeah," Kenny nodded, "He should be fine," he shrugged.
Stan sighed in relief.
"We sould probably let him rest though."
The black-haired male nodded, "Thanks, I'll forgive you this time," he grinned.
"This time?" Kenny repeated.
"Yeah, since it doesn't seem like we're going to be leaving anytime soon, and you don't look like you're going to be leaving either," he shrugged, "So we'll be stuck with each other for a while."
Kenny felt like he was going to roll over and die soon.