I sat back against the rock, closing my eyes against the sun. Esme and Carlisle had spent three months here alone and had recently invited me to join them. I was still amazed at Carlisle's ability to shower his bride with love. He didn't always have to tell her that he loved her, you could see it in his actions. I could also see it in his mind, although he tried to cover it up when I was around. His mind was completely focused on Esme and there were times that I would catch glimpses of his favorite parts, causing myself intense embarrassment. Yet, I was so glad that my father finally had a mate, someone to share his physical desires with. I heard a branch crack somewhere across the island and smiled. Esme was clearing an area of the island to turn into a home. She wanted to build it from scratch, with her family. Carlisle had been hesitant to ask me to come, afraid that their romance would be too much for me. Yet Esme insisted, wanting to include me. I opened my eyes, glancing down before looking back into the blue sky. This was the first time that I had been able to lay in the sun in a while. It was freeing, being able to simply enjoy being me.
Edward, come join us. Your mother is brimming with ideas but I can't get a straight word out of her. Your help would be greatly appreciated.
I laughed at the confusion that ran through my father's mind as he watched Esme flit from one spot to another, babbling under her breath. I sat up, making sure that there wasn't any tree's stuck to me before returning to my parents. As soon as I entered the clearing, I saw what Carlisle had meant. Esme kept changing her mind, tearing down what little she had built before moving to another spot. Carlisle stood on one side, his hands hanging down at his sides as he simply watched. I joined him to watch as I was sure that Esme didn't need our help right now.
Carlisle smiled at me and grabbed my shoulder before turning around to the makeshift table he had built. I turned, glancing down at the plans, amazed at how brilliant my mother was. She had completely planned out her dream home with massive windows and a huge fire place. I quickly dug through the plans, finding her drawing for the fire place. I grinned, knowing what we could do to help.
"Carlisle, I think we would be better off not helping Esme do the layout plans. She wants to build a fire place from stones around the island. Why don't we collect them for her?" I watched as relief flew through his mind and smiled.
Thank you, son.
We flew off in different directions, collecting only the most beautiful stones from around the island. By nightfall we had collected three large mounds, more than enough for the fire place Esme had planned. She had finally slowed down and we began to build it, working at human speed and making each other laugh until we could barely speak. Their minds were so full of joy. Esme was taking in every moment, searing it into her memory. I noticed that her human memories were no longer at the forefront, rather it was Carlisle and I that filled her thoughts. Carlisle was watching Esme and I interacting, pleased that I had accepted her and that I cared for her. Yet I began to notice a worry in the back of his mind, one that he seemed to be brushing off, afraid that it would come true.
…
Several weeks had passed when I made the decision to venture into town. While I loved spending time with my family, I knew that they needed some time alone. I took the boat and a list, promising to return in a few days. The sky was clear, allowing the stars to shine brightly. While I had been human, I had loved looking at the stars, amazed by the possibilities of what could be out there. That had not changed when I had died. The stars had been my saviour when I thought that all else was going to fail. Looking up, they still drew my attention as if they were calling for me to come to them.
Upon landing, I tied the boat and quickly walked to the nearest supply store. Upon entering I was immediately the center of attention. The women began to picture what they wished I would do to them and I knew that if I could blush, my cheeks would be bright red. I swallowed, clearing my mind as best I could before walking up to the counter. I handed the man Esme's list and requested that he deliver the items to my boat by tomorrow night. He nodded, accepting my payment and I left, needing to be away from the repugnant minds within those four walls. I began walking towards the middle of town, the sound of music and dancing drawing me near. The minds of those around me were filled with joy and I listened, enjoying the reprieve from the devious minds that I normally heard. Just as I was about to go around a corner, one mind was suddenly louder than the others. I froze, curious as to why it had caught my attention.
No please! Stop! That hurts! Stop! I can't scream, how do I get help!
I froze, horrified by the pain that this mind was sending. I slunk into the shadows, focusing on the area that I through it was coming from. There were two other minds and I felt my stomach turn as their thoughts entered my mind.
Shut up whore!
Come on, hurry up Mack! I want a go!
Looking through their eyes I saw a young girl no older than twelve lying on the ground. Her shirt was ripped open and there was blood pouring from her broken nose. Her skirt was bunched around her waist, one of her legs broken from the force that had been used by the two men. I felt rage begin to pour through me, a rage that I had only felt when Esme used to remember what he used to do with her.
Without thinking I flew into the alley, grabbing the man that was at her head, his hand closed around her throat. He let go, grunting as I rammed my hand through his chest, ripping his heart out. The other man went to shout but my hand closed around his fragile neck, squeezing until I felt his bones turn to dust. I dropped his body and want to the girl, cradling her in my arms, careful to not move her broken bones and cause her more pain.
Angel, I'm dying. Finally. Please take me away.
"Shhh, rest." I ran my fingers through her hair, making sure to avoid the knots as I listened to her heart stutter. Her breathing became more and more wet sounding. The fear that had filled her mind was beginning to fade, replaced by a sense of peace that only occurred when death was welcomed. She tried to smile at me, reaching up to touch my cheek before her last breath rattled from her. I clenched my teeth, so angered that someone had done something so awful to a child. A child! I gently closed her eyes, laying her body upon the cold ground. I made sure to pull her skirt down and closed her shirt as best as I could. There was no way that I could just leave her there with no one knowing.
My mind was red, something that I had not experienced since my newborn days and the bloodlust that came with them. I left the two men where they were, unwilling to give them any dignity. I returned to the boat, making sure to wash my hands in the water before grabbing a piece of paper and pen. I quickly wrote down what I had seen, sliding it to a bartender with some money. I made sure that he didn't see my face. The redness wasn't fading and I felt hunger beginning to gnaw at me. I turned to the forest, avoiding people to be able to run at my full speed, needing to lose myself in the feeding frenzy. Within moments I smelled a deer and flew at it, gripping its body in my arms and digging my teeth into its neck.
As I dropped the corpse to the ground I felt remorse finally beginning to flood through me. My legs gave out as sobs tore through me. The girls face was all that I could see as I gripped the earth over and over. I screamed, releasing the anguish and torture that had filled my mind. As I let each scream go, the horror and disgust at what I had done took over. Carlisle had always taught me to respect human life, yet I had so easily killed two people. Had I done the right thing? I honestly didn't know. Yet there was no way that I could tell Carlisle. I could see the disappointment in his face now and I knew that I could not face that. I allowed myself to fully lay down, curling into a ball as remorse flooded me, stronger than any emotion that I had ever felt before.
…
When I returned to the island, Esme and Carlisle did not suspect a thing. I tried to keep my happiest face on and hid the emotions that were still so strong. Carlisle made sure to take time with me, wanting me to know that he still loved me even though he had a mate. I reassured him that I understood and was willing to step away whenever they needed time to themselves. Within two weeks, we had the first part of the house done. Esme loved every part of it and strongly thanked both of us for everything that we had done.
Esme did not want to return to the real world, where she would need to fight against her thirst every waking hour. Yet Carlisle knew that we could not stay on the Island forever. With a promise to return to her island as soon as they could, we left. I sat in the back of the boat, watching the Island fade into the distance. I was still filled with regret and horror, unable to shake how deeply these emotions had grown within me. How was I supposed to return to normal when that girls face haunted me? Carlisle's thoughts were beginning to worry me, as he was beginning to suspect that I was drawing away from him and Esme. His worst fear was that I would leave them to forge my own life and throw away everything that he had taught me.
That was my biggest fear. Carlisle finding out what I had done. Many people would tell me that I had done the right thing. That I had rid the world of two evil men that deserved nothing more than the fate that they had received. I knew that I would be flagged a hero for my actions yet I could see in Carlisle's mind that he hated it when ever a life had been taken. No matter the actions of the person, including Charles, he refused to see them be killed. I knew that he would be frustrated and angered that I had dared to take a life. That I had dared to be the judge of someone based on their actions. I had no right, the fact that I was a vampire made it so that I should be able to think clearly and understand that life is sacred. I swallowed, wanting to get away from Carlisle but knowing that if I left, I would destroy my father.