Dear Santa,

Despite what I say to my friends, I do believe that you are out there, somewhere. Maybe not as a stout man in red and whites with a puffy mustache, and certainly not as a guy that flies in a carriage pulled by flying reindeers, but maybe as an average person, listening to children's wishes and hopes, like a very close friend everybody can trust.

And so I'm writing today as a close friend of yours, not as a kid wishing for a teddy bear or shiny plastic airplanes (maybe I'll be that, too. I don't know). I need someone to talk to about what I've been going through, and mostly about my messed up love-life.

So here goes nothing.

Ever since the beginning of my junior year, I've always been the class's top #1 student, the strict President that will kill anyone who dares to disturb her, and surely the older sister and child that has a well-paying part-time job to support the family. I've always thought that I was the world's most stressed out person, what with all those pressure piling on me like weights.

Yeah, right.

I met Usui Takumi a couple months after that thought made its nest in my brain, and I guess it is only fate that I fell for him. Well, who wouldn't, really? He's chivalrous, kind, and although he likes to joke around (a lot), he knows where and when to stop. He's like the perfect boy for any girl.

Only, his life wasn't as perfect as I'd thought it to be.

He's the result of an illegal affair, unwanted by his family, separated from his biological parents by death and the nature of the whole affair. He had no friends until he finally decided to have a decent social life by attending an actual high school, and even then he doesn't socialize much, for fear that he'd expose his identity.

Well, that, until we met, as I've said somewhere above.

And now that I know about the plight that he's in, I can't help but thinking if I'd been terribly selfish and self-centered. Ever since he found out about my secret job and everything, he'd done nothing but help me. And I'd done nothing but give him something to help me with. I've never thought that he'd need somewhere – someone – to talk about his problems to.

So now I'm confused. What should I do? What can I do to help him? He seems so vulnerable and weak, but he also seems incredibly strong and solid. I'm not sure which side is him and which side is his façade.

So for Christmas, all I want are answers.

I want answers to questions that I can't even decipher.

Thank you,

Ayuzawa Misaki.