Simka's Seduction

by Dougie Zerts

Remember the 2-part episode where Latka has an affair and he and Simka's priest tell them they should make up for it by her having an affair? They decide to throw a party and whichever man arrives last is the one she'll choose. Alex was the last man. Well, what if things were different; what if Louie was the last man! (This is a rerelease. I made a couple of changes to it. )

It was after 11:00PM and Louie DiPalma was watching TV and drinking beer. Suddenly, he heard a knock on his door.

"I aint here!," he shouted. But the knocking continued. Cursing, he got up and answered it. He was very surprised at who it was.

"Simka?"

"Take me, I'm yours!"

Shocked, he backed away from her. But she kicked her shoes off and walked toward him.

"You will have one passionate night with me!" She threw her arms around him and kissed him on the lips.

He laughed evilly. "This is several wet dreams come true!"

He led her to the couch. She lied down and he lied on top of her.

But he suddenly backed off. He got up and looked at her.

"What's wrong? Don't you think I'm beautiful?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Didn't you say you had a soaked dream about me?"

"Several!"

She rubbed his chest with her bare foot. "Well then take me!"

He backed further away. "This aint right! What the hell's going on? Did you and Latka have a fight?" She didn't answer. "Come on, tell me about it."

"It's all because you were the last man to enter the room at our party."

"Huh?!"

"Latka did it with another woman. Our priest told us that to equalize the situation, I should do it with another man. So we had that party, and we decided that the last man to enter the room would be the one I'd do it with. And you were that man."

"Wait a minute, let me get this straight: Latka screwed another girl, right?"

"Yes."

"And your priest told you that to rectify the situation, you would have to screw a guy, right?"

"Yes."

He shook his head. "I can't do this."

"You can't?"

"No. I like Latka too much. And I like you too much. Go!"

She got up and walked to the door. Before leaving, she turned and looked at him."

"Yako damo angu."

"What does that mean?"

"In my country, it means 'You are an angel.'"

"I aint no angel! Go!"

She left.

And then, he realized she forgot something-her shoes! He picked them up and opened the door. She was still in the hall.

"Hay Simka, you forgot these!"

"Give them to Latka tomorrow. That will be 'proof' that we did it.

She walked away, barefooted. He went back into his apartment and downed his beer quickly.