I must be crazy, doing this.
She knew she was. Ever since she had started middle school, she hadn't been herself... she could only imagine what was happening on the other side of the glass. She had fallen out of the loop, her grades were dropping, and she had fallen victim to the Ladies. She would look back on her younger days and envy herself, when Tohru would love and protect her, and Hiro would smile at her in the way she knew he meant it. But it was gone now.
She didn't have a job unless theft counted. She could hear people whispering behind her back; "Why is Kisa Sohma hanging out with them?" But she was undeterred by this. She was depressed, having attempted suicide twice and ran away too many times to count. People would wonder how she could have managed that by tenth grade.
It looked like they were out. Hiro's car was there, but he usually drove his parents' car anyway; they had probably gone somewhere. The lights in the windows were all out; figures everybody would be somewhere on a Saturday night.
She had been to Hiro's house enough to know where the spare key was. She almost felt guilty doing it, but she had no job, and needed the money; besides, Hiro's family was rich, they wouldn't notice, not like when she had robbed a poor family in the middle of the afternoon.
She bent down to open the hollow step on the front porch and felt the gun rub against her leg. She had almost cried over bringing this gun, still having feelings for Hiro; she didn't want to let him go, she really didn't, but she had to chose one over the other, and she had fallen victim to robbery.
"I don't understand you, Kisa."
That was the last thing he had ever said to her before turning and walking away. Kisa almost remembered seeing a tear in his eye, but she couldn't quite remember; her heart was crying, no, don't go, but she knew the Ladies would never let her be with him. She couldn't stop them; she didn't have anyone to talk to.
She found herself in the kitchen and immediately began to open drawers and fill her bag with silverware. The drawer slammed shut as soon as she was done, and she began to move on to the cabinets, tearing them open, knocking over their contents, and restoring them; There was nothing of value in there.
A final crash brought her to the liquor cabinet, and Kisa stared for a moment before helping herself to a bottle of aged red wine. A few beers and a cask of hard liquor followed, and she zipped her bag shut to hear a definite thud upstairs.
Ah, crap. She grabbed a wallet off its spot on a cabinet and stuffed it in her pocket, making a break for the door.
Something hit her from behind, and she found herself on the ground. It was a boy, taller than her, with brown hair and a firm grip- no, wait- Hiro! "Back off! I've got a gun!" spilled out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
"Ki-Kisa, what the hell are you doing!" Hiro yelled from on top of her. "Are you trying to- to rob me!"
"GET OFF!" Kisa shrieked. "I SAID I HAVE A GUN!"
She screamed to the floor in frustration as Hiro withdrew Kisa's bag from beneath her. Its contents scattered on the floor, the bag hid the ground suddenly as Hiro found the alcohol.
Kisa suddenly found herself free from Hiro's grasp and scrambled to her feet, leaving Hiro kneeling on the floor. The gun was out, poised and aimed at Hiro's skull. "I- I'm warning you..."
Hiro slowly rose to his feet, and the sun caught in his hair; Kisa had forgotten how handsome he was. She used to own that sexy bastard.
"What..." he raised the bottle of bacardi- "are you doing with this?"
Silence.
"I can't help it," Kisa said shakily from behind the gun, her teeth clenched.
"Kisa, you're a nice girl. You shouldn't have to do things like... like this." He looked downwards. She could tell he was hurting for her.
"Sh-shut up," Kisa wavered. "You-"
And then, just for that momentary lapse in attention, the gun was out of her hands. She found herself in Hiro's control again, and it burned to be pressed against him like that. "Let me GO!" She couldn't think of what to say. "I'll KILL YOU!"
"No- mmf- you wont," said Hiro. "Not until the police get here."
"AARGH!" Kisa screamed, more in frustration than fear. She began to cry, much as she hated to admit it. "I can't help it! Drugs are the only thing that can make me happy!"
No, they're not, said a voice in the back of Kisa's head. Hiro must have heard it too, for Kisa sound herself with her lips pressed against Hiro's, his hands grasping her shoulders, pulling her deeper into the kiss. She could feel his tongue darting to enter her mouth, and she moaned, the tears streaming down her face. She hadn't shared a kiss with anyone since before middle school.
They broke apart only for the need of oxygen. Hiro pulled her close again, wrapping his arms around her, and she truly began to realize what she was missing by being "bad"; she could never give up Hiro. She should have known that. She had been stupid.
I was stupid. The words came to Kisa without any shock of reality; she had been denying them so long, but nothing came through. It was like catching a handful of rain; it slips right through your fingers.
"I'm sorry," Kisa moaned into Hiro's shirt. He didn't answer. He just held her tighter.
I've forgotten what love is all about, she whispered to herself as they sank to the floor.