AUTHOR E'S NOTES: Hi, Elizabeth, a.k.a. Author E, a.a.k.a Blue Autumn Sky. Me and my friend Author A, a.k.a. Angie, a.a.k.a. Dada-grl decided to write this story, since we were B-O-R-E-D. Oh, for the record. My actual name is Elizabeth, that's not a joke. I know it'll probably be confusing what with Elizabeth Swann/Turner, but bear with me here. It might come in handy for later hint hint.
AUTHOR A'S NOTES: Hi readers, I am Angie, a.k.a Author A, a.k.a, Dada-grl. Well as most know it's summer now, and I had expected it to be fun.... but I was wrong, so we decided to write this. I hope you enjoy the story!
" Man, I'm bored " Blue Autumn Sky (A.K.A: Elizabeth Rehbein) whined
" Dang, it's summer " Dada-grl (A.K.A: Angela Tardy) groaned, " You'd think there'd be something we could do "
" I know what you mean " Elizabeth grumbled. Suddenly she popped up, " I've got an idea "
" Umm, ok. What is it? " Angie asked casually.
" Let's go pirate hunting " Elizabeth said happily.
Angie stared at her for a second, "Umm, but..we can't do that "
" Sure we can " Elizabeth said, " We're the authoresses, we can do anything "
" Thats true " Angie nodded, " Sounds good to me "
" I call dibs on Jack Sparrow " Elizabeth said, " You can have Will Turner "
" For sure " Angie said. She liked Orlando Bloom, and therefor liked Will Turner, " But, how do we get there? "
" Good point " Elizabeth replied.
The two sat down and thought deeply. They had both been on Fanfiction.net and read stories about modern girls going into Pirates Of The Carribbean. In almost all the cases they would get knocked out painfully and wake up there. Of course, none of those girls had ever been the authoresses.
" Hey wait a sec " Elizabeth said, " We're the Authoresses, can't we just rip open a portal in time and go inside? "
" Yeah we could " Angie said, " Sounds good to me "
" Ok then, but you're gonna have to rip it open " Elizabeth said, " I chew my nails. Yours are nice and long "
" Ok " Angie held up her hand and slashed her sharp nails through the air in front of her. With a flash, a portal appeared right next to Angie. Both girls stared at the rip in the time/space continium. Authoresses or not, they were speechless.
" We'd better get going " Elizabeth said, still staring at the fizzing portal, " You first "
" No way, you first " Angie snapped.
" Ok, we'll go together " Elizabeth grabbed Angie's hand, " Why don't you count? "
" Ok, ready, set, let's get jumping " Angie yelled.
Both girls made a large leap into the portal. They instantly felt a strong tug pull them down into an infinant spiraling abyss. As they were sucked into the mighty current of the plot hole, all went black for the two authoresses.
MEANWHILE IN THE CARRIBBEAN
In the middle of the ocean stood a mighty pirate ship, with rare black oak, and towering black sails. By the wheel was a very drunk Captain. He stood there, steering his ship, and singing a really bad tune.
" Yo, ho, yo, ho, pirates life for me " The pirate sang rather loudly, " We pillage and plunder..."
Suddenly a flash of white light appeared behind the very drunk, and very annoying captain. Two girls slowly stepped out from the mysterious light, and then it disappeared. Had the captain not been so darn drunk, he would've noticed this. Unfortuantly, the captain doesn't notice either of them until they...
" AND REALLY BAD EGGS! " They scream/sing in unison.
This the Captain noticed, and he blindly turned around gasping. At the sight of the strange girls suddenly there, he coudn't help but gap in surprise.
" Finally you idiot " Angie grumbled.
" Hey, what a sec, it's Jack Sparrow! " Elizabeth exclaimed.
" Captain Jack Sparrow " He said out of habit.
" You know, you look just as drunk, and cute, as you do on TV " Angie mentions.
" Why, thank you " Jack said, " Hey, wait a sec! " He said, purposly repeating Elizabeth's catchy line, " What are ye doing onboard me ship "
" My aren't you the bright one " Elizabeth said sarcastically.
" And I thought I was the idiot " Angie added.
" Are ye, or ye not going to answer my question " Jack said dangerously, patting the pistol that hung on his belt.
" Oh, please. Put that thing away or somebody will get hurt " Angie said, unimpressed.
She snapped her fingers and the pistol instantly turned into a rattlesnake. Jack didn't notice until the snake hissed and rattled it's tail. Surprised by this, Jack quickly pulled it out of his belt and threw the rattlesnake overboard, squealing the whole time.
" Hey! " Elizabeth exclaimed, " You can't do that, you'll hurt the poor snake. I'm reporting you to the ASPCA"
" Who are you!? " Jack freaked out.
" We're the authoresses " Elizabeth and Angie said in unison.
" Who the bloody hell are the authoresses? " Said Jack, a little tongue twisted, since it was hard to say authoresses.
" Why Jack " Elizabeth said, seemily hurt, " You mean to say that you've never heard of the all powerful authors? "
" I've already told you, no " Jack said, obsiously getting annoyed.
" Well, we're the ones who write this story " Angie piped in.
Jack stared at Angie like she had a screw loose or something. And Angie looked like she was ready to pound Jack. All Elizabeth could think about was how stupid Jack really was. She figured she'd better explain to him in terms even he could understand.
" Have you heard of god? " Elizabeth asked him.
" That depends " Jack said, " Which one are you talking about? "
" Uhh..." Elizabeth stammered, "Yeah, anyway, just think of us as god "
Now, being told that two kooky girls were god was too much for Jack to take. He instantly bursted into maniacal laughter. He sprawled down onto the floor, kicking his feet and laughing uncontrollably. This greatly annoyed the two girls, who were, by the way, the all powerful authoresses.
" Oh yeah " Angie challenged, " Explain your pistol turning into a snake "
Unfortuantly Jack couldn't even stop laughing to answer them. He just laughed even harder, and pounded his fist against the deck. Sighing, Elizabeth snapped her fingers and instantly a gag appeared in Jack's mouth. This surprise caused him to immediatly stop laughing. He stared at the gag and at Elizabeth, horror stricken. With that taken care of, Elizabeth snappd her fingers once again and the gag disappeared.
" I said explain the snake in your belt " Angie repeated.
" Coincidence " Jack said, still dazed by the gag trick.
" Oh yeah sure " Elizabeth said, " Coincidence that a poisonious snake native only to the deserts of North America, while we're in the middle of the ocean in the Carribbean, suddenly appeared in your belt where your gun should be "
" It's been known to happen " Jack shrugged.
CoughCoughCrackheadCoughCough
Elizabeth grinned at Angie, holding back a smirk. This caused Angie to almost grin as well. Both girls tried to supress their laughs while Jack stared at them. He apparently didn't hear Angie's little 'coughing fit'.
" If you're really the authoresses, then can you whip up some rum? " Jack asked.
Both girls stared at each other. Seeing no harm in snapping up some rum, they shrugged their shoulders to each other. They nodded at Jack and Angie snapped her fingers. Right in front of Jack a large bottle of rum appeared, floating in the air.
" Ahh, my one true love " Jack said.
" Ooookkaay " Elizabeth said. She took one large step away from Jack Sparrow
" Dude, that's just wrong " Angie said.
Jack ignored the two and quickly grabbed the rum. As soon as Jack grabbed the bottle though, Elizabeth snapped her fingers and the rum bottle turned into a fat, squealing piglet; with foam coming out of it's mouth. Jack screamed like a girl and quickly threw the rabid pig overboard, just like the snake from before.
" Hey! " Elizabeth screeched, " Forget the ASPCA! I'm calling Animal Precinct! "
" You really are the authors! " Jack freaked again.
" Duh " Angie said.
" Whadaya want? " Jack said.
" We're here to have some quality time with our favorite pirate captain " Elizabeth said enthusiastically.
" That's your favorite pirate captain " Angie said to Elizabeth.
CoughCoughLoserCoughCough
" Well, ok, my favorite pirate captain. She likes Will Turner. But we're both here to have some fun with you " Elizabeth said.
Jack whimpered.