Why did I agree to this?
My uncle, Chris McLean, wants me to go to some five-star resort for his new reality TV show. Chris isn't actually my uncle, he's just really good friends with my parents. My parents are really rich and famous like Chris.
So, here I was, on a boat and now I arrive to some shitty summer camp. This is not a five-star resort! Looks like I skipped hanging out with my friends, Nina and Thea to spend some time at a crappy summer camp.
"Here comes Alexa!" Chris said as got off the boat. "Uh, you told me we're gonna be at a resort." I said, glaring at Chris. "Nope. This is it! Camp Wawanakwa!" Chris exclaimed. I sighed as I went over to the other teens. Best I should make the good out of this. The other teens were consisted of a girl with glasses and braces, a muscular dark-skinned guy, a goth girl, a guy wearing a cowboy hat, and a blonde girl with big boobs.
A while later, a dark-haired girl came off of the boat. "Heather." Chris muttered. "Hi! Looks like we're your new friends for the next eight weeks!" the glasses and braces girl said and the girl, Heather, looked disgusted. Then, punk rock music was playing and a guy with dyed-green mohawk was on the boat and appears to be giving Chris a deadly look.
"Duncan, dude." Chris greeted. "I don't like surprises." Duncan growled. "Yeah, your parole officer warned me about that, man. He also have me to give him a holler anytime and have you return to juvie." Chris said. "Okay, then." Duncan said with a smirk. "Meet you by the campfire, gorgeous." Duncan said as he passed Heather. "Drop dead, you skeez." Heather scoffed. "I'm calling my parents. You cannot make me stay here." Heather says as she walks passed us.
Well, too bad! We're already here!
Then a horn blasted out and there was a guy in a tracksuit riding on waterskis. "Ladies and gentlemen, Tyler!" Chris exclaimed but then as soon as Tyler waved, he slipped off of his waterskis, hits the dock and lands in a pile of suitcases. One of the suitcases hits the water, getting Heather wet in the process. "Ugh! My shoes!" Heather said. "Wicked wipeout, man!" Chris exclaimed. Tyler just gave him a thumbs up and the guy wearing the cowboy hat and the muscular dark-skinned guy gave the goth girl a thumbs up.
I snickered as Heather walked by us and then I heard loud breathing. I turned around and saw a ginger with glasses. "Welcome to camp, Harold." Chris said. "What's he looking at?" the glasses and braces girl asked the goth girl and I. "So, you mean the show's at a crappy summer camp and not on some big stage or something?" Harold asked. "You got it." Chris replied. "Yes! That is so much favorable to my skills." Harold said, walking towards us.
"Contestant number nine is Trent." Chris said as a guy with a guitar came onto the dock. I'll admit, he's handsome but not my type. "Hey, good to meet you, man. Saw you on that figure skating show. Nice work." Trent said as he fist bumps Chris. "Thanks man. I knew I rocked that show!" Chris said. "I saw that. One of the guys dropped his partner on her head. So, they got immunity that week." the braces girl said. "Lucky. I hoped I get dropped on my head." Harold said. "Me too." the blonde girl said.
Are they serious?
"So, this is it?" Trent asked, looking at all of us. "Alrighty then." Trent added as he stood by the goth girl. He gave a flirty look to the goth girl but when Trent looked away, the goth girl had a small smile on her face.
Then the boat revealed a blonde girl with a surfboard. "Hey, what's up?" the girl asked. "Alright, our surfer chick, Bridgette is here." Chris said. "Nice board. This ain't Malibu, honey." Duncan said. "I thought we're going to be on a beach." Bridgette defended. "We are." Chris said. "Great." Bridgette muttered. "Alright, that makes…" Chris started but then Bridgette bent down to get her bags and hitting Chris in the head with her surfboard. "Ow, darn it! That hurt!" Chris complained. "Hey guys." Bridgette said, standing near us. "Hey, I'm Geoff." the guy with the cowboy hat, Geoff said. "What's up?" Bridgette asked, turning around and nearly killing, Harold, Duncan, Trent and I with her surfboard. "Hey, watch the board, man." Harold said. "Hi, I'm Beth." the braces girl said. "Hey." Bridgette said, almost killing us with her surfboard again. "Alright, we all met surfer girl. Can we get on with the show, please?" Heather asked, snobbishly. "Someone missed their double cappuccino macchiato this morning." Duncan said. "Get bent." Heather growled. Plus, I have a feeling I have to play match maker around here with Trent and Gwen giving each other lovey-dovey looks and now Geoff and Bridgette.
Then, a guy who seems like a bookworm came onto the dock. "Our...next camper is Noah." Chris said. "You got my memo of my life-threatening allergies?" Noah asked. "Sure someone did." Chris said. "Good, is this where we're staying?" Noah asked. From the way it sounds, it sounds like sarcasm is his only defense. "No, it's your mother's house. And we're throwing a party." Duncan said. "Cute. Those piercings are original. You do them yourself?" Noah asked. "Yeah. You want one?" Duncan asked, grabbing Noah's lip and holding out a needle. "Uh, no thanks. Can I have my lip back, please?" Noah asked and he did get his lip back. "Thanks." Noah said.
Then, the boat came with a dark-skinned girl. "What's up, y'all? Leshawna's in the house!" Leshawna said. Harold gasped. "Hey, baby. How you doin'? How's it going?" Leshawna asked as she high fived Chris. "Feel free to quit now and save the trouble, 'cause I came here to win." Leshawna said. "What's up, my brother? Give me some sugar, baby." Leshawna said as she high fived the dark-skinned, muscular guy. "I've never seen a girl like you in real life before." Harold said. "Excuse me?" Leshawna asked. "You're real big...and loud." Harold said. "What did you say to me? Oh, no you didn't! You haven't seen anything yet. I'll show you big, baby." Leshawna said but the muscular guy and I were holding back Leshawna as Harold was doing...something. I don't know what it is. "Alright, you want some of this, then come on, then!" Leshawna said. "Alright, campers. Settle down." Chris said. Leshawna calmed down and glared at Harold as he gave a small smile to her.
Then a tan, tall, skinny girl and a pale, small, fat girl came onto the docks. They dressed the same and their hair is the same as well. "Ladies, Sadie, Katie, welcome to your new home for eight weeks." Chris said. "Oh, my gosh. Sadie, look. It's a summer camp." Katie said. "I've always wanted to go to summer camp. Eee!" Sadie said as they ran over by us.
Then a guy in a sweatshirt was on the dock. "Ezekiel, what's up, man?" Chris said. "I think I see a bird." Ezekiel said. "Okay, look, dude. I know you don't get out much. Been homeschooled for most of your whole life. Raised by freaky, prairie people. Try not to say too much and avoid getting kicked off early." Chris said. "Yes, sir." Ezekiel said. "That's just...wow." the goth girl said.
Then, on the dock was an adorable dork. "Cody, the Codester, the Codemiester." Chris said. "Dude, psyched to be here, man." Cody said. "Seen the ladies have already arrived. Alright." Cody said. Cody went up to Leshawna and I and he was about to talk and Leshawna interrupted him. "Save it, short stuff." Leshawna said. "Just stay adorable, okay." I said. Cody gave us small smiles as he went away.
Then, a tough girl came onto the dock. "Eva, nice. Glad you can make it." Chris said. Cody went to high five Eva, but then she just placed her bag on Cody's foot. "Ow! What's in there? Dumbbells?" Cody asked. "Yes." Eva said, curtly. "She's all yours, man." I heard Duncan say. "WOO HOO!" I heard.
I turned around and there was an overweight guy standing on the dock. "Chris! What's happening? This is awesome! Woo hoo!" the guy was exclaiming. "Owen! Welcome!" Chris exclaimed. "Awesome to be here, man. Yeah!" Owen said as he squeezed Chris into a hug. "Man, this is just so…" Owen started then the goth girl interrupted him. "Awesome?" the goth girl said. "Yes! Awesome! WOO! Are you gonna be on my team?" Owen asked the goth girl. "Oh, I sure hope so." she said, sarcastically. "Woo!" Owen said. "You finished?" Chris asked then Owen let Chris go. "Sorry, dude. I'm just so psyched." Owen said. "Good. And, here comes Courtney." Chris said.
Then a prep, who is Courtney, came off the boat with Chris's help. "Thank you." she said. "Hi, you must be the other contestants. It's really nice to meet you all." Courtney said. "How's it going? I'm Owen." Owen said, shaking Courtney's hand, vigorously. "Nice to meet you Ow..wow." Courtney said, looking at another direction.
There was a good looking guy coming on the boat and everyone was giving him lovey-dovey looks, even Owen and Eva. But I wasn't giving him that lovey-dovey look because I could tell that all he cares about is looks. "This is Justin. Welcome to Total Drama Island." Chris said. "Thanks, Chris. This is great." Justin said. "Just so you know, we picked you based on entirely on your looks." Chris said. "I can deal with that." Justin said as he's now walking towards us. "I like your pants." Owen said. "Thanks, man." Justin said. "'Cause they look like their worn out. Did you buy them like that?" Owen asked. "No, just had them for a while." Justin replied. As soon as Justin wasn't looking, Owen facepalmed.
"And everyone, Izzy." Chris said as a red-headed girl was on the boat. "Hi, Chris! Hi!" Izzy said as she tripped off the boat and hits her face on the dock and sank into the water. "Ooh, that was bad." Tyler said, chuckling. Courtney ran over to the edge of the dock. "Guys, she could be seriously hurt." Courtney said as she helped Izzy out of the water. Izzy shaked her head like a dog and getting water on Courtney. "That felt...so...good! Except for hitting my chin! This is summer camp? That is so cool! Do you have paper mache here? Are we having lunch soon?" Izzy was asking. "That is a good call!" Owen exclaimed.
"First thing's first, we need a group photo for the promos. Everyone on the end of the dock." Chris said. We all got onto the end of the dock and I was in between Duncan and Tyler. "Okay, one, two, three...oops. Okay, forgot the lens cap." Chris said as he opened the lens cap. "Okay, hold that pose. One, two, oh, no wait, card's full. Hang on." Chris said. "Come on, man. My face is starting to freeze." Leshawna said. "Got it, everyone say 'Wawanakwa'." Chris said. "Wawanakwa." we said and then the dock broke and we all were in the water. "Okay, guys. Dry off and meet at the campfire pit at 10." Chris said.
We were now by the campfire pit. I finally know who everyone is. "This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next 8 weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even friends, ya dig?" Chris asked. Harold smiled at Duncan, but he raised a fist at him. "The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000." Chris said. "Excuse me. What will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I'd like to request a bunk under her." Duncan said, pointing at me. "Chris, I swear to God, if they are co-ed…" I started. "Relax, Alexa. Girls get one side of the cabin and dudes get the other." Chris said. "Excuse me, Kyle. Can I have the cabin with the lake view, since I'm the prettiest?" Lindsay asked.
Why the hell would she call Chris Kyle?
"Okay, you are. But that's not really how it works and it's Chris." Chris said. "I have to live with Sadie, or I'll die." Katie said. "And I'll break out in hives. It's true." Sadie said. Oooh, tragic...says no one ever. "This cannot be happening." Gwen said. "Oh, come on, guys. It'll be fun. It's like a big sleepover." Owen said, bringing in Tyler and Gwen into a hug. "At least you don't have to sleep next to him." Tyler said, nodding over to Duncan, who was giving a poor deer a noogie.
"Here's the deal, we're gonna split you up into two teams. If I call your name out, go stand right over there. Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Katie, Owen, Leshawna, Justin and Noah, from this moment on, you are officially known as 'The Screaming Gophers'." Chris said. "Yeah, I'm a gopher. Woo!" Owen said. "Wait, what about Sadie?" Katie said.
"The rest of you over there. Geoff, Bridgette, Alexa, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Izzy, Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva, and Harold. Move! Move! Move! Move!" Chris said. "But Katie's a gopher. I have to be a gopher!" Sadie whined. "Sadie, is it? Come on, it'll be okay." Courtney said. "This is so unfair! I'll miss you Katie!" Sadie exclaimed as Courtney was pulling her away. "I'll miss you too!" Katie exclaimed. "You guys will officially be known as 'The Killer Bass'." Chris said. "It's awesome. It's like...amazing." Harold said.
Ugh, it's just fabric.
"Alright, campers. You and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition." Chris said and he also explained about the confessionals.
~ALEXA'S CONFESSIONAL~
"Nina, Thea, I swear, I thought it was a five-star resort. I mean, my team's okay, but overall, this sucks."
~END CONFESSIONAL~
"Alright, any questions? Cool. Let's find your cabin." Chris said. "Gophers, you're in the east cabin. Bass, you're in the west." Chris said. We made it to the cabin and as I was unpacking, Bridgette came up to me. "Hey, Alexa, right?" Bridgette asked. I nodded. "Can I bunk with you?" Bridgette said. "Sure. I'll get the top bunk." I said. "Sweet, I'll get the bottom bunk." Bridgette said.
"Excuse me, Chris? Is there a chaperone of any kind in this facility?" Geoff asked. "You're all 16 years old. As old as a counselor-in-training at a regular summer camp. So, other than myself? You all will be unsupervised. You have a half an hour to unpack and meet me back in the main lodge. Starting now." Chris said. Then, I heard a scream that came all the way from the Gophers cabin. We all check to see what it was. "Man, that white girl can scream." Leshawna muttered. "What is it? Kill it! Kill it!" Lindsay say. She was on a stool and a cockroach was roaming around the floor. DJ gasped and screamed as he landed on one of the bunk beds. "That was my bed." Gwen said.
Everyone was trying to kill the cockroach or getting on the beds. Are they serious? It's just a fucking cockroach then Duncan came in with an axe and sliced it in half. "Well, that's one way to kill a cockroach." Gwen said. "Awesome." Harold said. "If you ever see that again, just let me know. 'Cause, you know, I can do that too." Tyler said and Lindsay was looking at him lovey-dovey like.
It's girls like Lindsay that go for guys like Tyler.
We were by the main lodge and Chef was already there. I have known Chef through Chris. "Listen, up! I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day. Get your tray, get your food and sit your butts down, now!" Chef said. I was next to Beth. "Excuse me, will we be getting all the major food groups?" Beth asked. "Yeah, I get hyperglycemic real bad if I don't get enough sugar." Harold said. "You'll get a whole lot of shut the heck up!" Chef exclaimed as Harold ran away. I grabbed my tray and sat down.
After everyone got their food and Chef did more yelling, we were all eating lunch. And by eating, I mean, picking at it. I have a feeling I'm not gonna eat much here, and besides. I have my diet plan to follow anyway. Chris had walked in.
"Welcome to the main lodge." Chris said. "Yo, my man, can we order a pizza?" Geoff asked as Chef threw a butcher's knife at Geoff and missed. "Woah, it's cool, G. Brown slop is cool. Right, guys?" Geoff asked and everyone was laughing, nervously. "Your first challenge begins in one hour." Chris said. "What do you think he'll make us do?" Katie asked. "It's our first challenge, how hard can it be?" DJ asked.
All of us were in our bathing suits, standing on a cliff. "Oh, shit." DJ said.
You really had to say that back at the main lodge, didn't you?