Author's note: It's a bit short but it's my first FF8 fic, so be kind to me ;-) But all the same, comments are greatly appreciated. And greatly WANTED!!
Censor: PG-13 for such liberal usage of cigarettes and alcohol (well, not as much alcohol as there is cigarettes).
Disclaimer: The story is mine, the characters aren't. They belong to Squaresoft.
Cigarettes and Alcohol
Quistis inhaled the cigarette smoke slowly. She took a deep breath allowing the smoke to inflate her lungs, warming her otherwise cold body. She exhaled slowly, the tobacco tasting almost chocolaty. It tasted so very good. Quistis paused her smoking for a second to take a sip of her whisky. She wasn't a heavy drinker and she wasn't used to anything really but a screwdriver. But cigarettes, they were her passion. It was the one thing that Quistis believed that made her truly sane. The burden of pretending to be Miss Perfect clawed on her sanity. Her little secret stopped her from going insane and reminded that she was still a very stupid teenager.
"Hey, Missy, you're going to get cancer at this rate!"
The bartender's sharp voice had cut through her thoughts. Quistis looked up from her glass, remembering where she was. Ah, now she remembered. She was in the same cheesy little bar and nightclub in Balamb. Her refuge. No one would ever find her here and no one would know who she really is. She actually liked it here. Although the techno music was loud, the booze cheap and the air positively stank with cigarettes; there was something cozy and comforting about this place. Well, at least to Quistis.
Quistis squinted and look at the bartender. It was dark and she wasn't wearing her contacts, it was almost impossible to see him. Quistis put out her last cigarette and lit up another one. She smiled and shrugged. "It's my life. I'll live it whatever way I want it."
The bartender, a man who had been in the business for a long time, shook his head. "You shouldn't waste your life like this. You're still young and you have your entire life ahead of you. You should join Balamb Garden or something. Or do something useful with your life."
Quistis had half a mind to tell the bartender who she was. I'm Commander Squall Leonheart's assistant in the Balamb Garden and I have saved countless of lives and the future through my actions, she would say. The bartender would probably disbelieve her. "Nah! What's the use? I know my future already. I'd probably end up marrying someone who I think I'm in love with, get pregnant, be bogged down with ungrateful kids and an unromantic and unloving husband. There isn't much of a point to life to girls like me." Quistis shrugged. How far from the truth can that get?
The bartender sighed as he wiped the table with a cloth. "Boy-troubles, huh?" Quistis grabbed her glass of whisky and took a large gulp, stinging her throat. She closed her eyes trying her best to keep the tears from coming. "Yeah, boy-troubles." She muttered her voice quivering. The bartender gave her a sympathetic look. "Wanna tell me about it?"
"There really isn't much to tell." Quistis said quickly, taking a deep puff from her cigarette. The bartender raised his eyebrows.
"I like this guy, you know? We grew up together and I was like his older sister then. One day, my feelings for him changed. I wanted more and I approached him for it. He rejected our friendship and me outright. It would be all right if he hadn't fallen in love with someone else so soon. I had spent so much time reaching out to him and it takes some bimbo almost two seconds to do it. I'm a failure."
She sighed and took another deep puff at her cigarette. She quickly rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, to avoid anyone seeing her cry.
"I know what you mean." A voice spoke up suddenly.
Quistis looked up, surprised. That wasn't the voice of bartender. She turned to the person beside her. It was someone familiar and her heart leaped when her hazy mind finally registered whom it was.
"Mind if I have your one of your cancersticks?" he asked, his voice almost bitter and rough. Quistis nodded and offered her Mild Seven. He looked at it and smirked. "Isn't this kinda light, even for you?"
Quistis nodded and smiled bitterly. "It's a bit light…I ran out of my brand. I haven't been to the store and well, let's just say that the right to confiscate has its benefits."
"Yeah," he agreed. "Hmm…where was I?"
"Something about empathising with me."
"Oh, yeah…. just give me a second, I need to order. I'll have a shot of a tequila, please." He said. He paused, his eyes carrying a distant look that made Quistis wonder if he remembered that she was there. "I know exactly what you mean. There was this one girl I knew whom I was really crazy about. The thing was the she liked this guy I absolutely detested. I would try really hard to win her affections…but, hey, things in life didn't work out as you plan you know. She always thought I wanted to mess things up or that I didn't care." He took a deep puff from his cigarette.
The man drank up his tequila shot in one go. He closed his eyes for a second. "I remember the worse part was that she didn't seem to notice how hard I was trying for her. Watching her admiring and trying her best to help the man I hate with my life wasn't easy. Watching her being in love with him was…well. I have to be honest that I was happy he met that bimbo. But now, watching her feeling miserable…I would do anything in my will power to make her smile again, even if it means I would be unhappy forever. Just want to be her knight, you know."
At that moment, the music ended (it was simply too trite, Quistis thought) and the silence from the pounding music was deafening. "Seifer," she began. "I didn't know…"
Seifer had a bitter smile on his face. "No one knew. I had only wanted one chance, to prove to you that I was able and willing. I messed up, the sorceress thing." He shrugged. Quistis could see he was trying to withhold his emotions; pretending they don't exist or more realistically, that they don't hurt him.
He finally looked at her, allowing his eyes to speak what he couldn't bring himself to say. How sorry he was for almost destroying it all, how much he truly cared for her and how much he would-
"Quistis…all I ask of you is another chance. To let me win your heart, to allow me to be your knight…" Seifer took a deep breath before he nervously said:
"Because I love you. I loved you and I still love you."
The moment passed by Quistis like a dream. Was this really Seifer she was talking to? It was almost surreal. Seifer, he had feelings for her? That he cared? Quistis knew that the Seifer that they had readmitted back to Balamb was a changed man, but she didn't realise how much he had changed. Or how much of his old-self he had retained. Seifer didn't hate her? He had avoided all of them since he was readmitted. What does this all mean? What would it all mean?
Seifer seeing there was no reply, dropped some money on the counter and prepared to leave. Things were not meant to work out he should have known that.
"Seifer." Quistis began gently. "Stay with me."
Seifer looked into her big, beautiful blue eyes and knew that things were going change and perhaps, for the better.