Warm
I hate cryo-sleep.
It's not just because of the bronchial surfactant, the damn stuff still tasting like mucus. It's not just because of the blisters that are forming all over my skin. It's not even the fact that every time I go in and wake up, I always feel like I'm dying. Yes, the whole dying thing doesn't bother me too much – chances are that Vickers is going to kill me in my sleep anyway. No, what really bothers me is the cold.
I'm always cold.
It's spring on Circinius IV right now. Not that I'd know it. Not when they put us in the cooler at the start of every training exercise. I don't get the point of this – if they want to simulate rapid reaction to Innie attacks, shouldn't we be training in ship corridors or something? Would swabbies such as us really have immediate access to body armour and rifles? Shouldn't…you know what, stupid question. All questions are apparently stupid here. That's why I've got to remember not to ask them. That's why I've got to remember that no-one gives a damn when I tumble out of the freezer, coughing up the surfactant as it tries to choke me. Sully and Silva give me the odd glance of concern, but they know their place. Don't go down to the Innie lover, or else he might drag you down with him.
It's just…so cold…
But no time for that, right? Never mind that I feel like I'm a space zombie. Never mind that I can barely strap on my gear, my fingers practically useless right now. Never mind that I feel like I'm still in the freezer, even as the oh-so-warm spring air comes into the bunker.
"Hastati Squad, four minutes until the rendezvous point."
"Copy that Vickers, four minutes."
Have I heard this before? If so, when? It's kind of funny really – they could have kept us on ice for a year for all I know. Maybe the war's over and they're just toying with us. Maybe the whole academy's on it. Maybe I'm letting my mind…wander…trying to ignore the cold…always cold…
"Move it Lasky!"
Always cold…
We move outside. The sun's bright. Brighter than what I'm used to on Mars, even if it's a standard G2V-type star. Always bright. Pleasant breeze. Some birds singing. Still cold. Even out here, wearing enough body armour to suffocate an infant, I'm still cold. I might as well still be back in the bunker. Maybe I should just…no…move…
I stumble forward. I fall. The ground is warm. And yet I'm still cold.
Crap.
No. Not crap. I'm past caring. I don't care that the squad has somehow made it up to the top of the hill. It's like I'm Jack, and I've already broken my crown before climbing the damn thing. Did it hurt Jack? Was he as cold as this? Who was Jill anyway? Sister? Girlfriend? Why were they fetching water from the top of a hill anyway? Aren't wells on lower ground?
Water…water is cool. But I'm cold. Cold. Cold…
"Come on Tom, we need you."
Bullshit.
"Come on."
Someone's helping me to my feet. I glance up, seeing Silva's face behind her visor. Crap. Jill's come down to help Jack, and I don't have any water for her.
"It's getting worse, isn't it?"
I nod and step forward, only to stumble back down to the ground.
"The cryo," she adds.
Thank you, I think. Really?
Of course it's getting worse. The cryo's getting worse. Hastati Squad's combat scores are getting worse. The murderous gleams in Vickers's eyes, Dimah's quips, the bereavements of everyone in this damn facility. They're all getting worse. And hey, who can blame them right?
Just wish it wasn't so cold.
Silva's still trying to get me to move. Why does she even bother?
"Just go," I murmur.
"No way Tom."
"What, you breaking out the leave no man behind stuff?" I ask.
"Oh, I can leave men behind," she says, helping me up the hill. "It's friends I have a problem abandoning."
I remain silent. And I don't know why.
Maybe it's because I'm no longer cold.
A/N
So, episode 1 of Forward Unto Dawn aired and...actually, I found it to be quite good. Much better than I expected it to be at least, in part due to how Lasky and Silva seem to be avoiding FRI territory. Anyway, inspired this as a result.