No one knew why he taped his hands. Sometimes he, himself, didn't and couldn't remember during a ceasefire. But then he would unwrap them just to see the scars and burn marks, and immediately cover them back up. They were ugly, and they would never disappear.
They were what made him disgusting. It was them who marked him.
It was those bastards that made him impure.
The event was still, and forever would be, vivid in his mind. He tried not to think of it much, and it would only ever enter his thoughts after a days worth of fighting. He would stare at his hands, eyes already drooping and, in his tired, hazy state, he would pull the sticky tape from the back of his hands first, then the palms. He would bite his lip as the tender, reddened flesh was tugged on, but continued. He wouldn't stop until he could set his gaze upon the damaged limbs. He wouldn't stop until his pain had been relieved, even just for that night.
It was tedious, trying to still questions. It ended up becoming a long winding lie. But then again, his whole life was a lie. He was a mercenary, cheating death thirty times a day for fucks sake. If you thought that he didn't have to lie about that, you must be damn retarded.
Of course, he could handle it. He always handled it. Handled it good.
It was never a problem for him until he took up the mercenary job. Before, he easily blocked it from his mind, and forgot. But now, with bullets wizzing past him from every direction, with rockets or rifles being held to his face at every waking moment, it was impossible. He jerked, mind elsewhere, whenever their resident soldier woke him with a launcher stuffed in his mouth. He flinched every time the pyro spy-checked an unsuspecting spy (who was sleeping with his mother, FYI). He gave a small growl every time a spy backstabbing an unwary sniper, no matter which team the spy was on.
... Alright, the truth.. Well, he can't handle it. He can't handle the truth or his memories.
A/N: I'm not sure where these keep coming from.. This is another ficlet like the pyro one, but this actually has somewhat of a plot? I'm still not sure... YOU CAN'T HANDEL DA TRUTH.
edit: prequel is next chapter. have... angsty stuff.