Ooooohhhhhh man! Boy did I have a rough time with this one! I actually started this way early last month, but got sidetracked and didn't touch it for like 2 weeks (It was the Avatar finale and I was all excited and shit) and then after that it was sparatic. I just ended up writing whenevr I felt the urge to. Which as you can proabably tell wasn't often. I'm actually mad it took this damn long just to get up, but I'm just glad I got up before my B-day (it's next Wednesday hint, hint) Anyways I tried not to rush it, but there's only so much you can put in a oneshot, so if it seems something happened to fast then you know why. Oh yeah it also switches POV'S from Jaz to Huey just so you won't be confused and all like HUH?? or anything. Anyways let me shut up and get on to the disclaimer.
I DON'T OWN HUEY'S AFRO OR ANYTHING ELSE OF HIS SOB THEY ALL BELONG TO AARON MCGRUDER.
People make mistakes. That much I know. But how you deal with it is what really matters. I was there, dwindling in my teen years. You know, kinda in the middle of everything. I wasn't grown, but half of the time it was nice to pretend I was (hey I'd be eighteen soon anyways). So of course I was making a whole bunch of mistakes. Not anything big, just enough to assert my independence from my parents.
My parents.
Right about now we aren't on such good terms. Especially with my dad. And I can honestly say I don't know what happened. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I know they mean well most of the time, but things are changing between us. Maybe it's just a phase I'm going through, or maybe it's the fact that they split up. Whatever it is, it's effecting our relationship and not in a good way.
I feel sorta betrayed in a way. I know their break up was not about me. And I know that this thing was a long time coming. That whole ordeal with Usher back when I was ten was just a taste of it I suppose. So I shouldn't have been surprised right? Wrong. When you're parents are together for the better part of your 17 years of life and then finally decide they want to split up, it's gonna take you back a few steps. Whether you were ready for it or not. Especially if you're old enough to understand what's going on. A lot of times I wish I was 10 again. Innocent, carefree. Not a problem in the world, except the ones Huey clued me in about. But even then I brushed it off my shoulder after a while. Which reminded me, where was my afro wearin friend anyways? He claimed he was going to meet me up on this hill about a half hour ago, but he hadn't showed up yet and I know for a fact it never takes this long to get here.
My eyebrows furrowed downward as I swung my head from side to side trying to see if I could spot him from my place on the grass. It was hopeless, so I decided to just lay my head back against the bark of the tree and wait for him to show. Even though I was trying to relax, in the pit of my stomach I knew something must've happened. It wasn't like Huey to say one thing and then do another. I know he would've at least called me first and said he wasn't gonna show up so I wouldn't be sitting here waiting for him like a dunce. But that's ok, I was always known for my understanding nature, and whatever had happened he had a good reason. Besides I could never stay mad at Huey for too long, and I was planning on staying up here a little while anyways.
This just seemed to be the place for me to go nowadays. (Right now we were on break from school so we had all the free time in the world) Whether Huey was up here or not. (More likely than not he was here) And for the most part I was glad, especially when I needed somebody to talk to, and Cindy just did not do the trick for me. He was always there. He hadn't changed much. I mean of course he was way taller than me and always made me feel like a shrimp standing next to him. And I'm pretty sure his afro got bigger. Despite the fact his demeanor hadn't changed much, I knew he was a sweetheart up under his cold yet handsome exterior. And it wasn't so rare that when we were alone he'd show that side. Which is why I think I hung around him so much. Unlike other people he came across, I never got the feeling he just outright hated my guts and couldn't stand to be in my presence. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't the impression he was trying to make. But whatever it was, I liked him. Almost like I was naturally drawn to him and I couldn't do much about it (not that I wanted to) it's kinda creepy now that I think about it. We really don't speak about our relationship in words that much, but something is there. I feel it, so I'm pretty sure he does too, hopefully. Not only that but he's pretty intelligent. Most of the time I tease him and tell him he's too smart for his own good, but I don't think he knows how serious I am about that. To be as young as he is and let all the world's problems get to him like it does isn't healthy. But noooo he doesn't listen to me, oh hardheaded one. But I gotta give it to him, you don't find to many guys like Huey, or any that can come close to it for that matter. It's like what my grandma used to say, "When God made him, he broke the mold right after," or something like that. Anyways I think that definitely applies to him. You're not gonna find to many, if any, kids willing to put so much effort, so much energy into fighting for something they believed in. Sometimes I find myself envious of him, or maybe it's admiration. Could be both. I feel as if God puts people in your life for you to learn a lesson. Whatever lesson we're supposed to learn from each other, I have no clue.
By the time it dawned on me what time it actually was, I knew I was in trouble. 9:00 o'clock, I guess I had dozed off for a few hours and hadn't even realized. I stood up and dusted the excess dirt off my behind, and tried to maneuver my neck to the side, but the minute I did a disgruntled sound left my lips. Great. Not only had I over slept, but I slept with my neck the wrong way at that. Minding my neck, I stooped down low to grab my phone, which had conveniently fell. Once I had it the first thing I checked was any missed calls. Hmmph, not a one.
Walking back home I couldn't help but feel like he had stood me up. Even though this was in no way supposed to be a date. I mean I know Huey's not a date kinda guy but gosh I thought even he would've done better than this. Boy he had better have a good explanation tomorrow. Cause right about now I'm about to get yelled at and get the "Speech" which I had heard about a million times since mom left. Sometimes I think I made the wrong choice to stay with my dad. Then again, he did need me. That first week after they split up I could hear him in his room at night when he thought I was asleep blubbering, "Sarah why?!" it was just so sad. I could only imagine what he was doing while crying. Probably in a fetal position crushing a pillow to his chest. Then and there I knew he was gonna need me throughout this whole thing, however long it lasted. Which could possibly be my whole life. I'm not wishing for that to happen but hey you never know with him. But lately I've been thinking I was doing more damage then fixing. I'm not gonna lie there are just some things about my dad that I just cannot stand. Of course all of this dawned on me when I got a certain age. Like the whole anal rape thing, or how he lied to me about Santa, the Easter bunny and, tooth fairy. Well actually that was both of them on that one. But it still made me mad. Getting lied to I mean. I wonder, I bet they would've just been better off letting me know it was them doing all that stuff for me and not some mystical creature somebody made up and doesn't even exist. I mean when you believe in Santa like I did and then come to find out you've just been in denial this whole time, you come to wonder what else they've lied to you about. I know I did.
Once I made it up my driveway, I turned around and glanced at the house across from ours. Not one light was on, and I know they all weren't in bed this early. Not the Freeman family. I guess something did happen. Whatever it was I hope they're alright. My heart crumbled at the thought of something being wrong with one of them. I know me and Riley had our differences but nothing that would make me want him hurt. That went for their Grandad too. He was a nice man who just wanted the best for himself and Grandkids. And don't get me started with Huey.
I found my keys and opened the door as quietly as I could. I was hoping my dad was upstairs taking a shower so he wouldn't hear me come in. I closed the door and listened for a minute. YES! He was, so I was scott free for a few minutes. Now I just had to rush up to my room and close the door and pretend I was asleep. He's not gonna wake me if he thinks I am, so the next time I'd get a real chance to talk to him would be sometime tomorrow. Or if I play my cards right, not anytime in the next few days because I'm supposed to be going over my moms house for the weekend. (You know the whole switching days thing) which means by the time I get back he'd have forgotten all about it. Hopefully.
I know that's a little devious, and I feel bad for it but come on, he says some of the craziest things to me! It's almost as if he doesn't even know me. Doesn't trust me anymore, and I have no idea why. I haven't given him a real reason not to. Maybe he's afraid I'm gonna leave him like my mom did. But if that's the case I guess he hasn't figured out I already made a choice awhile ago.
Damn. I knew something like this would happen. Yet the need to say "I told you so" hadn't came to me. I don't think it ever will. I looked over at the slumped figure sitting next to me. I hadn't seen Riley look this sad in years. To be specific ever since our parents died. Other then them, Grandad was the only person who took care of us despite his old age. And now to think all of that could be over. Everything just happened so fast. One minute he was sitting at the table eating his food and complaining about how all the black kids name's were to hard to pronounce anymore, and the next thing you know he's on the floor clutching his chest just barely gasping out he's having a heart attack, but when we got in the ambulance we found out it was a light stroke instead. Which is how we ended up in this Godforsaken hospital.
I looked over across from me and saw the beeping monitor. He was stable right now, but anything could happen, and neither me nor Riley was in any position to push him over the edge. We couldn't risk it. If Grandad did die, I don't think I'd be ready to take on such big endeavors like that. But I don't think I'd have much of a choice. I'd be eighteen in a few months and ready to be out on my own if I chose to. Well, maybe not considering how Grandad is, he might tell me to pack my stuff and be out the next day. Hopefully he won't but you can never be to sure about him. Either way I wanted to wait till I was ready to do something and not when something was pushed on me.
"You think he gonna be alright?" Riley asked me in a whisper. He didn't sound anything like the obnoxious thug wanna-be he made himself to be. More like a child asking for a cookie and afraid to hear the very words "no".
I turned to him and gave him the only answer I could. "I hope so,"
I hadn't even noticed I went to sleep until I heard a nurse come in to check on Grandad. She gave me a sympathetic look for waking me up and whispered a sorry. I waved it off and decided to get up and walk around. Most likely find something to eat since I hadn't eaten anything in a while. I glanced over at Riley. He was still out of it, the boy could sleep through anything if you let him.
I stopped in front of a window in a hallway and looked out into the vast darkness, wondering exactly what time it was. I pulled out my phone and saw 11:00 0'clock. That's when it dawned on me I was supposed to meet Jazmine up at the hill about 6 hours ago.
Jazmine's and I relationship was….interesting. Yea that's the word. It was hard to explain. If anything we're just really close friends. Really, really, really close. Just think of it as something that couldn't be put in words. I must say though Jazmine had definitely grown up, and I'm not just talking about physically (even though that turned out nice too) she's finally seeing things for the way they are. I should've known better though. She'd find out things in her own time and I'm somewhat ashamed of myself for trying to speed that process up when we were younger. It wasn't fair of me to try and rob her childhood from her just because I didn't have one, as she put it at one heated debate. Not that I saw it that way. I was just trying to help her find the truth. And she did that, eventually, and quite gracefully if I might add. Or as graceful as it can get I suppose.
I almost hesitated calling her, seeing as how it was so late, but I figured she was still up anyways, probably wondering what happened to me.
As I waited for her to pick up a small part of me was hoping she wouldn't. Just so I wouldn't have to deal with her if she were to be mad. I mean I'm already bad enough when it comes to women and their problems, and the last thing I need is one mad at me.
When the phone finally did pick up it wasn't exactly what I expected.
"Hello," a voice way deeper than Jazmine's murmured.
"Mr.DuBois!?" I questioned.
"Whoever this is calling, Jazmine's not taking anymore phone calls till the weekend," he yawned. Obviously he was still half asleep and to tired to realize who I was.
"Why can't she get anymore phone calls?"
"What? You know you ask a lot of question, but I guess I can tell you. Let's just say she needs to learn how to come home when she supposed to. Now does that answer your question?"
"Uhh yes?"
"Good now go tell all your little homies to not call this number. Oh and you can forget about bumming rides off her too cause I took her keys also," and with that he hung up. The only thought that came to mind was that she in fact did wait for me and managed to get herself in trouble by staying up there to long. But then again that was just a hunch.
Honestly though I don't think Tom had to take her phone and keys away. I'm pretty sure she told him where she was going but then again he might've forgot. Ever since her parents split up he was a train wreck waiting to happen. Which was sorta surprised me. I knew Tom wasn't exactly strong-willed, and I knew Jazmine was very sensitive, but I hadn't expected Jazmine to take everything way better then her father. (And from what I could see and what she told me, she was doing pretty damn good, or so she made it seem.) The only reason he didn't come to stay with us this time was because she decided to stay with him, which shocked everybody except for myself. Although I never admitted to her aloud I was actually pretty glad she didn't leave.
Of course there was always Caeser to talk to, but there was something different about her. There was also Cindy but I didn't have time to deal with her or her misconception of the entire African American race. I know it might sound strange, hell it's even strange to me. But it's different when I'm around her now. She doesn't irritate the hell out of me anymore. I actually enjoy her company most of the time, scary enough to say. If you had told me 7 years ago she'd grow up to be what she is now I don't think I'd believe you. I mean she thought Santa clause was Jesus for God's sake. That's just not right.
I can't blame it entirely on her though. Her parents had a lot to do with it. Mostly Tom, seeing as how he was a grown man and still believed in Santa his damn self. It's things like that that makes you lose respect for a person. So what was I to expect from his daughter? Exactly what I got from a naïve 10 year old. But she's still the same Jazmine in some ways. She may not be as naïve, or over emotional. Two traits I'm actually glad she grew out of with time. But she was still nice and flashed a smile whenever the situation granted, and she still had that childlike innocence to her that I doubt will probably never go away and a part of me hope it doesn't
While walking back to the room all that crossed my mind is how ironic it is, when she was vying for my affection and attention when we were younger I didn't want to give her the time of day. And now that she doesn't wait on me hand and foot I suddenly find it the other way around.
"So that's all that happened?" I raised an eyebrow and eyed her skeptically. Once again I found myself up here on the very hilltop I was supposed to meet her at yesterday.
She sat with her knees tucked into her chest and staring at her shoes, looking somewhat annoyed at the situation.
She sighed. "Alright fine that's not all that happened. I thought he was in the shower, but he wasn't. He was about to though and I guess you can figure it out from there," she explained.
"No I can't figure it out," I replied. I knew it was getting on her nerves, and I probably could of figured it out, but she wasn't telling the whole story to me and I honestly wanted to know why.
"Huuueeyyy," she whined, "I just told you! What else do you want from me?!"
"I want you to tell me the truth," I said simply.
Jazmine grimaced. "Well if you must know me and my dad started arguing, again, and he decided he'll just take my phone from me since I don't know how to use it to call him, so he claims. And then on top of that he takes my keys to the car too!" she shook her head. "I don't know what his problem is, he acts as if I'm going out and sleeping with boys and stuff,"
"Well you don't do you?" I joked.
"NO!" she shouted, hair flailing a bit at the false accusation.
"Well ok then. As long as you know you didn't do anything like that then you shouldn't be worried," I assured her.
"But it's not that, it's the fact he doesn't trust me anymore. And I have no idea why," she rested her head in her hands dejectedly.
For a moment a wave of sympathy wash over me. Even with her family separated, I knew she still had her parents behind her no matter what the situation. And believe it or not it I always felt a twinge of envy because of it. I didn't have my parents. I mean me and Riley had Granddad but it's not the same as having a real mother and father. Which is why it sorta irritated me when she complained about them. It wasn't that I was suddenly on their side for everything, but she just doesn't know how good she has it.
I also knew Tom was, well wasn't exactly himself, which I mostly blamed on Jazmine's mom. And seeing as how she was the only female around him, he was taking out his frustrations on her unfortunately. The only thing I could think up to say was 'it's not your fault' but I'm pretty sure she heard that line a million times, and then some. So instead of finding the words to comfort her all we did was sit in silence.
I was never good with the whole comfort thing, but luckily for me the silence was short lived as I barely heard her ask what happened with me yesterday. I felt a slight lurch in my chest. She had asked me earlier what happened and I shooed her quickly, saying to ask me later. I knew she wasn't going to give up easily though so I distracted her by asking about her phone situation.
I really didn't have the heart to talk about what was going on with Grandad but she deserved an answer seeing as how it was partly my fault she got in trouble anyways.
I cleared my throat a bit. "Grandad had a stroke," I said lightly. From my peripheral vision I could see her eyes widen in shock.
"Is he gonna be ok?" the worry evident in her voice.
I shrugged. "Hopefully he'll be ok, but anything can happen," I explained.
"Oh Huey I'm so sorry," she moved from her spot next to me on the grass and flung her arms around my body embracing me in a sympathetic hug. And instead of moving her away like I would've normally done I actually let her stay like that. I suppose one hug wouldn't kill me.
Though what I hadn't expected was for her to kiss me on the cheek like she did. To any other person watching it probably would've seen like a harmless peck on the cheek. But I knew better.
I turned toward her somewhat, making sure to avoid her eyes. I knew if I looked there would be no turning back. The can of worms would be open, and unsaid emotions between us would wreak havoc. And right now I had too much to deal with to let it happen.
And just at that moment my phone couldn't of chose a better time to ring. Though the person on the end of the receiver had anything but good news.
Never had I been so angry and hurt in my 17 years of life. And reflecting back on all of Saturday's events I have to admit most of it was my fault.
I don't know what happened, it just all took place so fast. I was still giving my dad the cold shoulder while I got ready to go over my mom's house, and he asked me what my problem was. That's when everything just came bursting out like a volcano. I don't think my dad got a word in edgewise at all. I was on a roll, I couldn't be stopped. And that's when I said it. I wasn't even able to comprehend the words before they flew out of my mouth and slapped my dad in the face multiple times. I had yelled I hated him and my mother. The first time was for him and the second time for my mother. I said it with every ounce of coldness I could muster up into 3 words. And after that I stopped my verbal assault. All I could do was grab my bag and leave. But not without seeing the hurt look on his face. Deep down I know I didn't mean it, but at the moment it sure felt like I did. I should've said sorry but I didn't. My pride wouldn't let me.
The first thing I saw when I walked outside was Huey walking toward 'Dorothy' his Granddad's beloved car. He didn't seem to notice me walking toward him, maybe he just chose to ignore me instead. I didn't notice it then but he was looking way more miserable then usual. But I wasn't exactly worried about him at the moment. At the moment I needed to vent.
"Huey do you have a minute, or so?" I asked, not even bothering to say hi.
"Make it quick I have somewhere to be,"
So I told him everything that went on and waited for his verdict.
He shook his head silently then gave a wry grin. "I can't believe you," his voice was pretty hard to hear but it sounded anything but nice.
"What?"
He narrowed his eyes at me" Here you are complaining about how much you hate your mom and dad and wish they were gone, when there's thousands of kids out there who don't even have somebody like your parents, but they wish they did. And you're to ungrateful to even see that." His voice held a tone that made me want to crawl under a rock and shrivel up and die. "Do you, wait let me rephrase that, you don't have any idea what it's like to grow up without them." He spat. Eyes looking colder then the very polar ice caps themselves. "Having parents. I didn't have that luxury Jazmine!" he raised his voice a little. "Me and Riley didn't have that! All we had was Grandad! And we may not even have him anymore now either. So don't come to me about how sorry yours are. You should be grateful you even have them!" and without the slightest goodbye he got in Dorothy and drove off.
If words could cut I would've been a bloody mess at that moment. And the only thing I felt was sadness, shame and the stinging sensation of the truth yet again. I was dumbstruck, still in shock from it all. From everything that had just transpired in the last 10 minutes. All I could do was sit there and openly cry. Something I hadn't done since my parents split. And for a short moment I felt like we were 10 again after he told me something just to make me cry. Only I wasn't 10 and he didn't just tell me this to hurt my feelings. Instead of saying sorry to my dad, I felt like I should've been saying it to him.
The last place I wanted to be was standing in his driveway. All I wanted to do was disappear. So through blurry tear lined eyes I found my way to the bus stop and hoped on to get to my mom's apartment. I didn't want to go there either, but it was better then staying on Timid Deer lane.
The first thing I did when I got there was go to my makeshift room and cry my eyes out some more. It was 6:00 p.m then and my mom wasn't even there. She was probably out with her stupid boyfriend Jamal. Another reason why I didn't stay with her.
Before I knew it I found myself waking up from a fitful sleep. Looking at the clock on the wall it was about 3 A.M. I didn't know if my mom was home, but I didn't care. More often than not I was finding myself by myself and I was actually quite content with it. It gave me time to think about things I had never thought of before. Sometimes they were good, sometimes they were bad. It just depended on my mood I guess.
I crept my way slowly down the stairs and to the kitchen. My mom lived in one of those nice duplex apartments that was way more spacious than most. And it sorta reminded me of one of those high-rise kinds in New York, but hopefully cost way less.
Once there I didn't even bother to turn on the light. I had been there plenty of times to get around even in the dark so all I did was get out a tub of ice-cream (she had my favorite surprisingly) grabbed a spoon and sat in the darkness trying but failing to eat my sorrows away in a tub of mint chocolate chip.
It didn't surprise me when I heard my mom coming nor did it surprise me that she wasn't surprised. I had a tendency to do that when I was upset.
She shuffled toward the light switch and turned it on getting a good look at me while I sat looking in the tub of ice cream avoiding her gaze. She pulled a stool out and sat it across from me at the counter.
"I thought that was you I heard. So I see you finally decided to join the rest of the world," she claimed playfully. I snorted.
"So how was your date with Jamal?" I tried but failed to hold back the bitterness in my tone.
My mother sighed. "Oh I broke up with him. He wasn't exactly my type," she said a little to jovial then I expected. I suddenly found my mood brightening a little.
"Oh that's to bad," I shrugged trying to play it off.
Now it was my mother's turn to snort. "Please, you hated him. I bet your jumping for joy inside," my mom laughed. And I couldn't help but let one out myself. She was right you know.
"Awww see there's that smile I was looking for," she chirped. Then she turned to a more serious note. Lowering her voice suddenly "Alright, I know you could care less about Jamal so what's really bothering you? Is it Huey?"
I almost choked on the ice cream in my mouth. Sure he was a reason but he wasn't the main one.
I pulled on a piece of my curls. I didn't even feel like putting up a fight so I just came out with it.
I sighed "Well me and dad sorta got into a argument and I said some things that I didn't mean," I looked down ashamedly.
My mom's eyebrows knitted "And how does Huey play into all this?"
"Well when I walked out I told him what I said and he got mad at me," I shook my head.
"Jazmine what exactly did you say?" she questioned.
I hesitated and bit my bottom lip. I didn't really want to repeat what I said to her but I guess she had a right to know.
"I told him I hated him," I bit out, turning my head downward. But not before I caught her eyes widening.
"Jazmine.."
"Look, I was frustrated ok!" suddenly I felt that same anger wash over me before just like with my dad as I hopped out of my chair. "And it wasn't like he was treating me any better! Ever since you two split up he's been taking it all out on me and it's not fair! Like it's my fault your marriage didn't work! Like I made you go sleep around with his friend! Or made him a terrible husband!" silent silvers of tears streamed down my face as I wiped them away with the back of my hand. "You guys didn't even consider my feelings about any of this! All you thought about was yourself and how much you were hurting! Well guess what? I was hurting too!" By then my voice was hoarse and all I was reduced to was a whisper. "You guys should've been able to work it out. I wish you two never even split up," I said quietly to myself. I wasn't sure if she heard it or not but I really didn't care anymore. The truth was finally out in the open. I finally felt like I could breathe again. And what I just screamed at my mom was pretty much the shortened version of what I screamed at my dad. Minus the 'I hate you and mom' comment at the end.
I guess my mom's motherly instinct kicked in because she somehow managed to come over and hug me even though she knew I was mad at her. Finally after several minutes of quietness she finally broke the silence. "I think we all need to just sit down and talk to each other," her voice was surprisingly smooth and complacent.
I sneered. "Isn't it a little too late for that?"
"No, it's never to late to talk. Which is probably why all this happened in the first place, we didn't talk enough," she emphasized.
I didn't know where my mother was going with this, but I did know I had an apology to make. And it was going to be anything but easy.
My head drooped from the lack of sleep. Once again I found myself in the same hard uncomfortable couch I was sitting in a few days ago. But I knew I shouldn't be complaining. Grandad was going to be trapped in one probably for the remainder of his life. He had another stroke, and when everything was said and done we found out he was paralyzed from the waist down. I guess I got my wish in the worst possible way. I wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon.
Grandad was asleep now but when he was up earlier he was a delusional, irritable mess. Or so he wanted people to think that. He made it a priority to flirt with what he called the 'cutie pie' nurses in various subtle ways. Which consisted of dropping things purposely just for one of them to bend over right in front of him so he can check her out. Or try to feed himself but fail miserably, saying he was to weak, and had the nurse spoon-feed him. He even went as so far to ask one of them to call him 'Bitches' while giving him a sponge bath. The whole thing was perverted and a little disturbing, but it was nice to see him being his old self again seeing as how he was so close to dying a few days before.
I hadn't seen or heard from Jazmine for almost a week since we argued. She normally would've called or something, but now it was as if she fell off the face of the earth, or was in hiding or something. I guess she was still mad from when I told her about herself. But I'm pretty sure it didn't fall on deaf ears.
It wasn't that I was suddenly all for her parents so to say. I guess it was an outburst waiting to happen unfortunately. But I'm not mad at her, or at least not as much as I let on Saturday. Even me, of all people, had to succumb to showing emotions at some point in time and the circumstances they created.
I spent most of the day asleep after Granddad was done 'pimpin his nurse hoes' as Riley put it. I had seen enough action for one lifetime, or so I thought. Around 8:00 somebody decided to pay Grandad a visit.
Riley rushed up out of his seat in nothing but some sweat pants, a wife beater and his socks, just as if he were at home or something. He sure made the place seem like it was, the room was littered with his socks and draws. I wasn't gonna check to see if they were dirty or not. I told him to pick em up a while ago seeing as how he didn't have enough sense to not leave something like that around in as sterile a place as the hospital, but knowing Riley he probably didn't even give a damn. That's ok, later on when we'd go back home for a change of clothes I'd kick his trifling ass then.
He opened the door and scowled a bit. "Mr.Dubois, what the hell you doin here?"
Tom smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I was just stopping by to pay Robert a visit," he laughed nervously "you know, see how he's doing and all," he raised up a get well soon card in his hand.
"Boy get the hell outta da way and let Tom in," Granddad ordered from his bedside. Riley muttered something under his breath as he went back to playing his video game.
"Yeah yo ass betta go sit down. Don't think just cuz I can't move my legs don't mean I won't beat yo ass!! Believe me I'll find a way!" Grandad yelled. I know it was killing Riley inside to not say anything back, but for the sake of Granddad's health and his, he managed to hold his tongue. And Granddad of course was loving every minute of it.
"Robert! Hey!" Tom greeted him cheerfully moving away from the doorway and revealing a withdrawn looking Jazmine who happened to be hiding behind him the whole time.
"What the hell you so cheery for?" Granddad grunted at him. Then he took sight of Jazmine and quickly changed demeanors. "Well hey lil cutie pie how you doin?" he asked.
She flashed him a smile of modesty "I'm fine, Mr. Freeman. Are you feeling any better?" her tone holding sincerity in it.
"Bout as good as I'm gonna get. Gonna take a lot more then a couple of strokes to take me out," he boasted. "Well don't just stand there, take a seat!" he motioned over to a chair for Tom. Since that was the only available chair in the room Jazmine was forced to sit down next to me on the couch.
After Granddad started talking to Tom about how many of the nurses were his bitches and how Tom should get him one, I found her doing her damndest to look everywhere else around the room but at me, and I was the one sitting right next to her. Enough was enough.
"Nice to see you finally came out of hiding," I said to her.
She whipped her head around almost hitting me in the face with her puffball ponytail, and frowned a little. "And it's nice to see you're still…" she looked me up and down as if searching for the right word. "Huey" she finished, sounding like it was her own humorous personal joke.
I rose my eyebrow up at her "Was that supposed to be funny," I asked.
Did you laugh?" she smirked.
I sucked my teeth but didn't reply. She knew damn well I didn't laugh.
And just as quick as she started her new façade she dropped it. "Huey we need to talk," she claimed sounding hesitant. I felt a confession coming.
"Fine, I'm listening," I sighed crossing my arms.
She looked at the various faces in the room, Granddad and Tom talking, Riley absorbed in his video game, and then back at me. She wrung her hands nervously and looked me in the eyes. "Uhh do you think we could go somewhere more…uhh private?" she asked.
I raised my eyebrows at her curiously. "Umm I guess, but this is probably as private as it gets other then the bathroom," I pointed out.
"Oh we don't have to be anywhere in particular!" she suggested quickly "we can just walk around if you want. I just don't want anybody hearing what I have to say," she said honestly.
I looked at her momentarily, studying her face, mostly her eyes to be exact. They didn't shine like they usually did. Now that I come to think about it they really didn't have any of the same qualities they held when she was younger except that they were still green. I guess what I'm trying to say is they lost their sparkle as cheesy as it sounds, but it was true. They did however hold a sincere nature to it. So whatever she had to say to me I'm pretty sure it was something that meant a lot to her.
Jazmine and I excused ourselves from the room and walked outside into the breezy climate in silence, until she stopped and gazed out at the sky without warning.
"So I'm guessing you fixed things with your dad?" I questioned stuffing my hands into my pockets.
"Hmmm, something like that. I told him sorry and everything, and he gave me back my stuff and we had the little father–daughter moment, you know. And my mom even decided to come and talk to him after a year of not saying a thing to him," she nodded.
"That's nice," I concluded, even though I wasn't too interested.
"Yeah, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," she responded still looking out at the sky.
"Then what was it?"
"How would you describe us?" she asked quietly.
I tore my eyes off the navy blue sky above us and widened my eyes at that side of her face, for a brief second she reminded me of her former 10 year old self, sounding as innocent as she did.
"What do you mean 'describe us'," I felt my face heat up slowly. I had a feeling she was going to bring this up soon, I just didn't know when.
"Come on Freeman, like you don't know," she laughed "But just in case you don't, I'm talking about our relationship,"
"Oh," was all I could manage at the time.
"Oh?" she reiterated, "That's all you can say? Is just 'oh'? Come on now Huey, you can do better then that,"
"Well what the hell you do you want me to say?" I snapped suddenly.
"I want you to say how you really feel about me Huey," her voice didn't hold near as much frustration as mine did. "You know what, I'll think I'll just go first instead since you're having such issues," she decided, finally turning to face me the first time since when got out here.
It was just Jazmine. That, overly sensitive, naive girl with the hair bigger than mine that lived across the street. Nothing special right? So…why the hell was I so nervous then?
Because me and her both knew she was way more than that.
My heart thumped against my chest rapidly as I faced him. If I had a dollar for everytime Huey made me feel like this I'd be pretty damn rich by now. It was crazy how he could evoke such emotion from me, just by glancing my way. He didn't even have to say anything. That's how bad I had it for him. So there was no turning back now. I finally got him where I wanted him, so I had to tell him. I waited to long for it.
Just relax, I told myself. If it goes wrong, you can always go live with mom on the other side of town and you'll never have to see him again. Yea right like that'd really work. Darnit Jazmine just say something! He's starting to look at you crazy! But awww he's so cute looking like that. NO!! FOCUS!! I finally drew myself from my thoughts and took a deep breath, looking down. Everything I had planned out to say at that moment escaped my brain. Guess I just had to wing it and hope that he understood.
"I just have to get everything out in the open," I began truthfully. Ever since I straightened things out with my parents I found revealing how I really felt, way better then keeping it locked away. Which was what gave me the confidence to come and do what I was trying to do now.
"Huey for as long as I've known you, you were always pessimistic, jaded, and just plain insensitive. But as much as you made me run home crying almost everyday of my 10, 11 and 12 year old existence I still managed to like you. I don't know why, but I did. Maybe because I knew you meant well deep down, or maybe because I knew that was just the way Huey Freeman operated and I couldn't change it. But either way I stuck around," I paused to look up at him. Just as I expected his face was void of any emotion besides slight irritance.
Don't stop now, you're not even done, give the guy some credit. You did kinda just insult him, even if he did deserve it a times. I shrugged to myself. Just get on with it! The sooner you're finished the better.
"Anyways, eventually we both came around and as you put it I wasn't so damn annoying anymore. Well whatever it was we had finally found some common ground. And to me it really seemed like a turning point in this whole relationship. I mean for once I didn't feel like I was a liability to you or something. I finally felt like your equal," I saw his face falter a little. Must have hit a nerve there.
"My equal?" he interrupted in disbelief.
"Yes, your equal. I mean when we were kids you seriously made me feel…well stupid," I shrugged honestly at him.
He furrowed his eyebrows together, "I never thought you were…"
"Stupid?" I finished for him. "Hmm ok, whatever. But it's ok Huey, I don't hold grudges. They're a waste of time and energy," I concluded. "But anyways like I was saying I didn't feel a big gaping hole was between us like when we were younger. I finally felt like I could call you my close friend and you wouldn't object, or think twice about it,"
And then before I knew what was happening I grabbed his hands and intertwined with it mine. "Huey," I started "As much as you dislike pretty much half of everything I like, get irritated at almost everything, and make me sit and watch CNN with you until my head hurts, I still hold you as one of the closest people to my heart. Right to the point where I had to ask myself are we really just friends?" the last part I said unusually quieter. "I mean I have learned so much these past seven years, and even if you don't think so you've played a big role in my life. And with everything that was going on then with my parents going back and forth at each other I honestly think I would've lost myself if you hadn't been there for me. With me I should say." I corrected. "There is not any other person out there who I would sit and listen to them lecture hours on end while I sat there listening intently, or go out of my way to cut meat pretty much out of my entire diet for, or stay up late studying over the phone with just so I could hear their voice. Not anyone Huey," I paused and took a shallow breath "I know it may not sound like anything big or important to you, but it is to me," I shook my head, trying to blink the forming tears away. I involuntarily squeezed his hand tighter.
"I just…I just don't wanna wonder anymore. I don't wanna be old and gray, withering away on my deathbed wondering what could've become of us. What could've happened with that guy I gave my heart away to so long ago only to wait for his answer and I never get one," a tear slid down my cheek. I don't wanna be that old lady Huey. I don't wanna live in a fantasy land anymore. I wanna know… I need to know," I choked out.
I looked at him the best I could through my clouded eyes. His eyes were closed as if he were in deep thought. I guess it was better that way. At least he couldn't see the vulnerable mess in front of him even though he could hear it. He finally opened his eyes and I thought I would faint. Never had I seen such intensity in a person's gaze. It was as if he was reading the very depths of my being like one of the various novels he had. The whole situation was overwhelming. And as much as I wanted to look away like a coward, I couldn't. It had me paralyzed. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't bring his self to say it. And as if on cue he undid his hand from mine and turned away shaking his head.
At that moment I literally felt my heart breaking. One of my worst fears coming to life right in front of my face. In the sake of telling how I really felt, I had to risk our friendship in the process. I was starting to regret even saying anything. Because in the end I knew things would never be the same.
As much as I didn't want to, I started sobbing. I wasn't trying to make him feel sorry or anything because I knew he wouldn't, and I didn't want him to. It wasn't right.
Damnit Jazmine why can't you ever get through anything like this without crying?! I screamed in my head. I couldn't even answer my own question.
"You know I never should've said anything," I started out of nowhere. He still had his back turned from me, but I saw him shift a little. An indication he was listening.
"Hear I am pouring my soul out and you don't even know," I said more to myself then to him.
"Excuse me but I do have a right to think," I vaguely heard him say.
"What is there to think about Huey?!" my voice asked him desperately. "You either like me that way or you don't! There's no more of this in between shit. More then friends but less then lovers, I can't take that anymore," I shouted out of nowhere.
"You really wanna know how I feel about you!" he barked whipping around to face me. A look of fury clearly evident on the features of his face.
"Yes I really do!"
"Fine then, I…I love you," Before I could even comprehend what happened all in one swift movement Huey managed to close the space between us and crashed his lips against mine. And as if I was a natural at kissing I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with just as much gusto he had put into initiating it.
With my lips locked with his everything seemed right with the world. I had forgotten all about the mess I had been put through the past 4 years with my parents, and just him in general. I wouldn't let anything ruin this moment. Or at least I didn't want anything to.
A split second after I thought that, the lawn sprinklers came on. Yes the lawn sprinklers. Not knowing what was going on with the grass I let off a little shriek inside his mouth and jumped back, looking down awkwardly at my now soaked flats.
"So much for our first kiss," I laughed to myself looking up at him. He had a peculiar look on his face. One I couldn't quite pinpoint, or explain.
"Well," he started, "That's what the other ones are for," I cocked my head at him confused. "So we can get the rest of them right," and that's when I saw a genuine smile on his face. It was the first time I had actually saw his face use those muscles to make that expression other than frowning. And for the second time that day I found myself tearing up "I love you," I whispered as I brought myself to his lips. We took our time with this one, ignoring the cool water that drenched our shoes and bottoms of our pants. There were no words to describe the sensations running through my body as we explored each other's mouth. And my dirty mind couldn't have helped but picked up the fact that if kissing him felt this good, then what would sex be like? But that was far away from now and I immediately pushed the thought from my head, and focused on not messing up what was happening now.
After what felt like forever we finally pulled away for air, and I closed my eyes to dwell in the tingling sensation that was taut on my lips. He reminded me of something close to cinnamon and something else indescribable. Maybe that last one was just the way he tasted. I didn't know, I was to in a daze to think straight. Damnit, he did it again. Made me feel like this, but this time I didn't mind, and I was actually looking forward to the next time he'd do it again. Which I knew would be sometime soon…
There was no need for words anymore at this point. We were finally, finally on the same level. I loved him, he loved me. Actions speak louder than words and they were practically yelling at us that night. And all I could think was thank God it was all over. Or I should say beginning.
For the most part everything seemed to return back to normal after a few months. Or as normal as normal could get after what happened. Granddad was still in his wheel chair and learning to get around in it, while starting to go to rehab to try and regain some feeling in his legs, but it was going to be a long process and there were no guarantees. And even after all of that he still didn't let it slow him down to much.
As always Riley was still a punk, but he had managed to behave somewhat now that Granddad couldn't whoop his ass like he claimed he could. I guess the thrill of being chased around by an old man finally wore off of him. I guess these were the beginning signs of a new more mature Riley…. Yea right. If I knew Riley like I think I do, he would never grow up to be a decent individual if he kept going the way he was. And assuming the way he acted, he had no intentions of stopping it anytime soon. So he was right back where he started, as usual. Though for the most part he did have more responsibility in helping with Granddad, so at least the whole load wasn't on me.
Tom and Sarah seemed to be getting along better, but there was no talk of getting back together (even though Tom was hoping for it desperately) Sarah on the other hand was not ready to go through it again. So they managed to compromise and keep a civil relationship for the sake of Jazmine. And that's about as good as it gets for them.
As for Jazmine and I, we were still going strong. I had to admit it felt nice to be in a real relationship for once. Though I'd be lying if I said I'd ever expected Jazmine to tell me how she felt first. She always just went with the flow and then after that week she just came out of nowhere with this heartfelt confession, and for a moment I was just taken back by all of it. But then again Jazmine was full of surprises like that, and I learned from then on that she's one not to be underestimated. But I didn't mind, her surprises weren't anything bad if you get my drift.
Just as I suspected people weren't surprised when we finally got together. If anything they were actually surprised it took this long. It didn't matter though because in the long run we had each other, even if nobody else did. And as much as I hate revealing my feelings like that, or how repulsingly sappy that sounded, it was what we really felt.
Only time could tell for us, but if we she was willing to make it work, so would I. As much as we had both been through we at least deserved the security of something. But if I knew Jazmine like I know I do, then there's not much else to worry about. Well as far as commitment goes. But we're taking things slow; we do have our whole life ahead of us so there was no rush. As long as the other was there. And as for everything else, the rest is pretty much history.
Because we all know Jazzy's parents are bound to split up, and Jazmine's mother would go out with a black dude named Jamal lol
I hope the last parts weren't to OOC because I really didn't plan on ending it like I did so I really don't know. And the title I got from listening to Xscape's song the other day, and I was like hey, why not since I couldn't think of nothing better anyways.
As always I love ya'll reviews so don't be shy or whatever and tell me what you think :D