Summary: Brian Kinney realizes what a mistake he has made. He ventures out to New York City to find his Sunshine and bring him back home. So how does this end and what kind of future does Mr Kinney and Mr Taylor have in store for them?
Queer as Folk: Seeing the Horizon
Season One
Episode One - Pilot
Justin had gotten under the wire.
He wished more than anything that he could pin point the exact moment that he realized Justin was more than just his nightly trick. That night he wasn't looking for another fuck. Mikey had been waiting for him patiently at his Jeep so they could call it a night. He remembered looking up Liberty Ave absentmindedly and catching a glimpse of a young blond standing under a street lamp looking seductively delicious.
He shook his head and laughed at the memory. Of course he knew the beautiful blond was too young for him, but at that point he simply just did not care. When the blond told him he had no place special to go, the lust radiating off his body, he knew he had to change that.
Brian was suddenly aware of his surroundings. The memory that he had relived more than once faded from his mind and he was back on the dance floor at Babylon. Sweaty men were dancing around him with the intentions of finding a guy to take home with them that night. He use to be one of them.
Michael and Ben are dancing the night away in the center of the dance floor. He feels a stab of jealousy as he looks at them. He use to laugh at Michael for wanting a normal relationship. A husband, a house, and a kid. It was all so heterosexual. If you would have told Brian Kinney 6 years ago that he would want that one day, he would vibrate with laughter at your feet.
Brian walked out of his club into the cold Pittsburgh night. The lump in his throat seemed to never go away anymore. It's been three months since Justin left. And each day that goes by Brian realizes what a horrible mistake he has made. They had agreed that this was the best arrangement; that they didn't want to hold each other back. But it was all just a bunch of fucking shit. All of sudden he remembers Mikey's words from his 30th birthday, "You're Brain Kinney for fucks sake! You will always be young and you will always be beautiful."
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. He use to believe in fucking. That was it. Never the same person twice. Yet, he'd broken his own rules.
The snow fell to the ground in a slow, precise movement. He cringed at the sight of the frozen rain. He pulled his coat firmer around his body as he cursed at himself for never moving some place warmer. He vaguely saw his Jeep in the distance when it suddenly strikes him that it isn't even midnight and he was heading home… alone.
Brian awoke midday. He knew he should be at Kinnetik. But he would let Cynthia and Ted deal with the work load today, because as he laid there a plan suddenly washed over him. A smile lingered on his face as reached for his phone. He booked the first flight to New York City that he could.
_
"Hello Mikey, isn't it a beautiful day?" Brian said as he walked into Red Rage Comics' and greeted his best friend. A puzzled look began to form on Michael's face and the next words he uttered Brian already knew he would say.
"Um, Bri, are you okay? Because for the past three months you've been walking around with a soulless expression," he paused for a moment, "Or should I say, more soulless."
Michael quietly laughed at his own joke for a second before realizing that something was different. Just the way Brian was composing himself was a major difference compared to the previous night.
"You're quite the jokester Mikey. Maybe you should have gone into comedy. But I've decided to no longer walk around the Pitts whining like a fucking muncher. I've booked a ticket to the Big Apple. I leave in two hours."
Michael's expression went from amused to shocked in a nanosecond.
"Are you fucking crazy? You haven't even talked to Justin since he left! What makes you think he wants to see you now?"
Brian cringed at his best friends words. It was true. He hadn't even talked to Justin since he left. Justin had called him every night, but each time Brian let the voice mail take it. He knew he was being immature, but what else was new? He didn't want Justin to know how miserable he was. The lad was a fucking genius. His art would one day be well known. New York was his chance to finally be the best homosexual he could be. So eventually, the phone calls stopped.
Brian snapped back into reality as Mikey continued his rant.
"So what are you gonna do?" He asked, "Run around New York until you find him? Well this time he doesn't have your credit card, so it won't be so easy to track him."
"Well," Brian began, "I haven't really thought about it much. I'll kill you if you ever repeat this Mikey, I swear on my ass hole father's grave, but I need him. Ugh, that sounds so lesbian."
Brian shook his head with disgust and wondered when he had turned into Mel and Lindz… or Emmett.
_
The plane ride to New York was boring. The flight attendant was obviously gay. He was cruising Brian the whole way there. The old Brian Kinney would have made his move. No questions asked. But he hardly looked in his direction. He had better things on my mind.
He arrived in New York City at 6 pm sharp. He had no idea where to begin. Justin had told him where he was staying back before he left, but Brian couldn't seem to remember what Justin said. He mentally kicked himself in his one good ball for not paying better attention for what came out his beautiful mouth.
Without even realizing it, Brian was suddenly too hot. Thinking about Justin's mouth made him remember about all the times they had fucked… and even made love.
No one would believe him if he told them, but he, Brian Kinney, had not been with another man since his Sunshine left home.