AN: So this kind of sort of loosely follows the story of Mulan. Loosly. And it will have the songs from Mulan. But seeing as Haruhi isn't exactly like Mulan, and all that other stuff for differences…well, you can imagine. But I wanted to let everyone know that ahead of time. But I really do promise to not follow Mulan exactly…I know how people feel about authors who follow the other story exactly and just change character names…this will NOT be one of those times. I promise. Also, due to the nature of OHSHC, this will be a semi crack version of Mulan, because Ouran in itself is kind of crack…
Note about words: I originally had Ranka in a Kimono, until I remembered that this is china….then I was a bit angry at the mulan people for making them all wear Japanese looking clothes….which apparently are called Hanfu (the Chinese version that's closest)…..so sorry if you have no idea what that is in the next few paragraphs….but that's what it is. Think of it looking a bit like a kimono I suppose, and all will go well.
Also: please thank my awesome beta reader!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or plot or songs of Mulan or of Ouran High School Host Club.
Song used: Honor to us All
Chapter One: The Matchmaker
"Haruhi! You DO realize that you're meeting the matchmaker today, don't you?" Ranka cried, upon finding his daughter in her room calmly reading a book instead of frantically getting ready to go to the salon.
Haruhi sighed, closing her book and brushing her long brown hair back behind her ear to look up at her father. "I don't really understand why I have to go to the salon beforehand anyway, dad. What's the point of marrying someone who doesn't like me for who I actually am, but some made over version that doesn't reflect the real me at all?"
He smiled reassuringly and pulled her into a hug. "But they will like you for the real you! All we're doing is enhancing your natural beauty! Your beautiful personality will remain absolutely the same."
Haruhi pulled away, looking doubtfully at her dad.
"Haruhi please? For me?" Ranka asked, in response to the uncertainty he saw on her face. Haruhi looked at her father's female hanfu, sighed, and then agreed to humor him. Even though she didn't think the matchmaker would find her suitable at all, she didn't want to disappoint the father she loved so much. He would at least be able to dress her in frills and ribbons and do her hair, and that would give him joy in itself.
"Okay dad. Sure." Ranka grabbed her with a whoop of joy and rushed her towards Antoinette, the beautiful black horse he had gotten as a gift for Haruhi years before.
"I want to get there early to introduce you to all of my friends at the salon!"
When they got to town, Ranka pulled Haruhi into the salon he had frequently visited, only to hear the owner exclaim in horror, "This is what you give me to work with?"Worried by the look on her employer's face, another woman ran up to appease her with: "Well, honey, I've seen worse. We're going to turn this sow's ear into a silk purse."Haruhi frowned. She'd never given much thought to how she looked before, but she had never thought she looked horrible.
Seeing the frown on his daughter's face, Ranka gave them all a disapproving look. His Haruhi was beautiful just as she was! No matter how close he was to these women, they couldn't say such things about her!
One of the women saw the outrage on Ranka's face and signaled for a subject change.
Suddenly, a washing woman pulled her into the tub from behind, causing her to gasp. "We'll have you washed and dried" She barely had time to dry off before the makeup women swarmed her with miscellaneous powders and lip colors. "Primped and polished till you glow with pride." Then the owner of the salon, freshly cured from her hysteria, came back in. If this girl failed, it might bring dishonor to the salon's name. "Trust my recipe for instant bride.You'll bring honor to us all."
Suddenly, nail artists grabbed her hands and started to re-shape and polish them. "Wait and see, when we're through, boys will gladly go to war for you." The hair stylist came in and shoved Haruhi into a nearby chair. "With good fortune and a great hairdo, you'll bring honor to us all."
The entire salon moved around her to make sure she knew what was at stake, and why she shouldn't take this lightly. "A girl can bring her familygreat honor in one way.By striking a good match,and this could be the day."
Then, the rest of them hurried off to finish other tasks while the dressers spun her over to the wardrobe. "Men want girls with good taste. Calm. Obedient. Who work fast-pace. With good breeding and a tiny waist," They reached in to tighten her sash so that she looked thinner than she already was, making Haruhi gasp. "you'll bring honor to us all."
The townspeople whose daughters were also meeting the matchmaker today could be heard giving speeches outside. "We all must serve our Emperor who guards us from the Huns. A man by bearing arms, a girl by bearing sons."
Haruhi suddenly felt apprehension from what was said outside and realized the pressure she was under. Some of the workers noticed her frown and rushed back to her side with smiles. "When we're through, you can't fail. Like a lotus blossom soft and pale. How could any fellow say "No sale", you'll bring honor to us all."
The owner pushed Haruhi in front of a mirror. "There, you're ready."
Ranka ran in, miffed that they had barely let him help his precious Haruhi at all. "Not yet!" He pulled out the things that Kotoko had said she was given on the day of her matchmaking, to make Haruhi feel closer to her mother.
"An apple for serenity ... A pendant for balance ...Beads of jade for beauty,you must proudly show it.Now add a cricket, just for luck,and even you can't blow it!" He gave Haruhi a playful wink as she was pushed out the door.
Haruhi looked out into the street, which was filled with girls who had all been made up to look their best, and wondered if the people looking at her didn't think she measured up . "Ancestors, hear my plea. Help me not to make a fool of me. And to not uproot my family tree." She looked over at her proud dad. "Keep my father standing tall."
She and all the other girls looked up at the foreboding door about to open. The person walking out of that door would decide their entire future based on a half hour interview."Scarier than the undertaker, we are meeting our matchmaker!"
Their families looked equally concerned about the outcome of the day. "Destiny, guard our girls! And our future as it fast unfurls. Please look kindly on these cultured pearls, each a perfect porcelain doll."
Everyone waited on baited breath for the door to open.
"Please bring honor to us!
Please bring honor to us!
Please bring honor to us!
Please bring honor to us!
Please bring honor to us all!"
The door burst open to reveal a dark blonde woman with a huge bow in her hair. "Fujioka Haruhi!"
Haruhi , knowing that punctuality was an important quality to the match maker, rushed to the front of the line ….and promptly fell on her too long silk robe the dresser had given her.
"I- uh. I'm really really sorry! I hope I didn't ruin your robe, miss!" Haruhi said, looking up at the matchmaker. Only 5 seconds into this and I've already made her think I'm a complete idiot!
"Just get inside, please." The woman said before turning on her heel.
Haruhi hurried to comply to try and make up for the earlier blunder. Upon entering, she noticed a poster with a handsome group of men on it, the foremost of which wore glasses.
The matchmaker walked over to her interview table before turning around to begin the conversation. "My name is Renge and- Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's impolite to stare at people's things?" The woman snapped, startling Haruhi into turning her attention back to Renge.
"Oh! I'm sorry! ... And no, she died when I was small…If you don't mind me asking, who're the people on the poster?"
"They're from Uki Doki Memorial, a popular novel. I'm surprised you didn't recognize them." She felt sorry for what she had said to the girl earlier. "So sorry to hear about your mother. Come serve the tea, please."
Haruhi rushed over to the counter supplied to make the tea, and hastily prepared something for Renge, not noticing the labels on what she was making. She didn't realize her mistake until it was spit back onto her face.
"This is INSTANT COFFEE you nitwit! Who on Earth would DRINK this crap! It's for commoners!"
"I- I'm so so sorry!" Haruhi stammered, before rushing back over to the tea counter and checking the labels to make sure she grabbed one of the higher quality teas. Unfortunately, she didn't notice Renge coming up behind to make sure she was doing it correctly this time, and accidentally spilled the scalding hot water on her as she spun around to add it to the tea. When she quickly fell back, one of the cabinet handles opened the door to the cricket cage her father had given her. Renge looked at the loose cricket that had found its way to her hand and her ruined silk robe in shock before screaming at the top of her lungs,
"GET OUT!"
Haruhi ran out of the room as fast as she could, ignoring her father's calls for her to come back.
AN: well guys, I really hope you liked this first chapter enough to REVIEW! Please? I really do love them, although I'm not going to be one of those authors who makes people review a story just to post the next chapter….But PLEASE!