Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Arakawa does.
BTW I have never owned a pet (And probably never will) so I don't really know how to take care of them. If there's something I got wrong feel free to tell me.
Welcome to Central Pet Shop, where the most rare and exotic of Fullmetal Alchemist fluffballs can be found!
Cat
Breed: Mixed Golden Xerxian-Amestrian
Gender: Male
Age: 16 (Cat Years)
Family: Male Golden Xerxian Cat/ Female Amestrian Cat/ Male Mixed Golden Xerxian-Amestrian
Temporary name: 'Edward'
Appearance:
'Edward' has very sleek golden fur that is a lot longer on the head than any other part of the body, so it is usually tied back or braided. (You may cut it at your own risk). Golden eyes as well as fur is due to the fact that one of his parent cats is a Golden Xerxian. Surprisingly, the fur on his back has two other colours than gold; black and red. This can be seen when 'Edward' is startled. (Not that it's a good idea to startle him.) The ears are a moderate size and the tail a little longer than average.
He is much smaller than other cats his age. 'Edward' is very aware of this, and it will cause him to become antisocial to any other animal with a significant height difference, maybe he will even attack them. ( So, for obvious reasons, don't take him to zoos.)
In an accident, 'Edward' lost his right front leg and left back leg, so he has been fitted with 'Automail', a new generation of prosthetics. Both sets of his limbs (real and Automail) has extremely sharp claws, so do not make him mad. It is compulsary to have the Automail refitted or repaired once every few months, otherwise 'Edward''s movement will be severely restricted, and left longer than two years the automail can be hazardous to his health.
Note: Please inform the Automail department if you are taking 'Edward' on holiday with you. 'Edward' will need different kinds of automail to suit the environment you are taking him to.
Personality:
This little guy is one of our most rebellious kittens here. 'Edward' is very difficult to train because of his lack of patience and mannerism, but he will pick up new skills with ease. He is much more physically and mentally capable than other cats, despite the extra weight the automail limbs are providing him. His intelligence gives him a good understanding of the world and probably you too, and it makes him a great comfort when you're down.
If you have treated him with care, he will become very friendly to you. (BEWARE: Being unkind to 'Edward' may lead to him running away.) He does not hold on to grudges for a long period of time, which makes him one of our more forgiving pets. If you have cheesed him off in some way he will most likely ignore you, for a time between a minute and 10 hours (Lolwut?)
'Edward' is very sensitive about his size (as mentioned before; twice) so he becomes extremely peeved at the sight or presence of taller animals (Unless there is a huge age difference, he would probably attack them too.) Maybe that's why he likes to stand on tall platforms more than other felines. Or it's because of his lack of calcium. *See his diet for further detail*
For some bizzare reason, 'Edward' is talented at things like math, science and geometry. If you teach him, he might become smarter than you!
There has been sightings of strange blue lightning coming out of his cage at times and when the cleaner comes to clean his cage the next day there are always little wooden cat statues everywhere. For that reason, please remove all chalk from the room where you are keeping him in.
Diet
'Edward' is not picky when it comes to food; dry, tinned or packaged cat food will never be ignored unless there's some very important problem. You may treat him to a little stew or apple pie from time to time, for that is his favorite food. However, also unlike most cats, he never drinks milk. NEVER. He hates the stuff. You can get him to eat things CONTAINING milk, but not milk on its own. Again, NEVER...unless you like getting your face slashed into tiny little strips.
'Edward' prefers home-made European food to tinned or dried food.
Relationships with other animals
'Edward''s personality varies according to his surroundings, as well as his company. 'Edward' copes well with animals of almost every breed (begrudgingly so), although he and his father does not have a good history. He fares well with dogs. His mother has died due to cancer so he does not consider himelf to have any family besides his brother 'Alphonse'. His emotions are mostly neutral at the sight of exotic animals (Snakes, lizards, etc).
'Edward' hates cross-breeds.
Automail
ROCKBELL mechanics is the only automail company that its prosthetics is compatible with 'Edward's. A starter basic maintenance pack is given free to you when 'Edward' is purchased. The alloy consists of mainly steel, iron, carbon and traces of other metals. The joints should be oiled once every other day.
The automail is waterproof. However, it is not recommended to place 'Edward' near a large body of water. The automail would weigh him down, even if he DOES know how to swim. Note that with the automail on, 'Edward' has a huge advantage over others of his own kind, so it is wise to keep him away from as many fights as possible in your home.
A word of thanks
Thank you Sir/Madam for purchasing this pet. Please be careful as most of these pets are not domesticated.
'Edward' is one of four of the only cats that have Golden Xerxian traits, therefore his pice is quite dear, however, please do not let that put you off. There are many positive sides to have a Golden Xerxian, although the list is too long to fit into this paragraph so we deleted that out all together.
Enjoy your pet experience.
Warning: We, Central Petshop, have no responsibility has one of your purchases damages your private property.
Somewhere out there, a family was reading this and decided to buy Ed.
Mr. Smith was an average family man and father of two. He worked as an under-secretary in a shipping company and was therefore rather wealthy. At first he hesitated upon buying a pet, for pets were expensive to keep, but after seeing the sction which said that Edward was quite intelligent, he immediatly went to the website and got Ed delivered to the door. (It had nothing to do with his kids' puppy-dog eyes, of course.)
Mrs. Smith was a housewife. Just an average housewife, minus the tendencies to toss knives at her husband and children. She was a mild mother, but she likes to nag. A lot. So it took her daughter five hours, twenty-five minutes and thirty seconds of puppy-dog-eying, pouting and tantrum-ing hysterically to convince her into buying a pet.
Johnan was twelve years old and he was responsible enough to buy all the things a cat needs before Ed arrived, such as food, pet shampoo and brush, a litter tray, a pet-bed, mechanical oil...stuff like that. He is quite gentle in compaison to other boys, and he is put in charge of the school hamster every month. Being a young gentleman automatically makes him the school's eye candy, but nobody needs to know that.
Anna had a very average name, and she hates her mum for it. So, on her previous birthday, which was her seventh, she named herself Anniabellsusannan, to the shock and horror (and laughter) of her friends and family. Unfortunatly for Ed, she is one of those who likes to cuddle soft fluffy things...a lot...
The doorbell rang out, echoing in the spacious hallway.
Anniabellsusannan got there first by shoving herself though the servants' legs, due to her petite body size. She was so excited that when she opened the door, or tried to, she remained there for about ten minutes of pulling and heaving at the said door with all her strength until she realised the door opens outwards.
The unfortunate delivery-man had plenty of bad times, which might explain his grumpy attitude towards little children. For example, one time before Golden Xerxians went almost extinct, one who was named 'Hohenheim' by loving carers escaped out of the cage - and out of the van. In fact, a Golden Xerxian who looked exactly like 'Hohemheim' is still out for sale back in the shop. Mr. Delivery-man had a nagging suspicion that it WAS Hohenheim, but Golden Xerxians were not known for their survival rate; as proven by the factthat only ONE purebreed was left, and THAT one he hoped would sell soon.
This time, it was the same. The goddamed cat escaped, leaving the poor guy to search all around the city. Grumpily, he dragged the feisty cat up to the door with several scratches all over his gloves; a metal talon slashed the other open and drew blood. The very pissed-off man stormed up the steps once more and knocked hastil, ready to get this over with...
When the door slammed open into his face.
That was the last straw. He glared at the young girl angrily, as if she was the source of all his problems. The venomous look would've made Envy proud.
"There, there," said Mrs. Smith unhelpfully. "I'm sure he didn't mean it."
Anniabellsusannan sniffed softly as she held Ed close to her breast. He clawed endlessly at her - even he needed to breathe - although it had no significant results. The humans just assumed he was scared and lonely. Psh! As if! Him? He was an intelligent high-calibre feline of the keenest wit. Or, he would be if he didn't have the life squeezed out of him by a certain hyperactive child!
Maybe he could use the new lightning trick; that would shut them up immediatly, and perhaps give him a little room for respiration. He decided to name it Alchemy, after the art of the famous scientist Nicholas Flamel (Yes, he was that smart). But no, he should keep it for something worthwhile...like escaping from this f***ing hellhole.
In his opinion, being forcibly tossed into a cage did not seem to him as polite. Nor was staring at him like he was a ZOO animal. He was nowhere NEAR domesticated. But from experience, he knew that first impressions aren't everything.
He decided to give them a week.
If only first impressions were everything! The Smiths were about as dumb as they look. The Master of the house may be an under-secretary, but he could swear he about as much common sense as a cake-tin. And THAT was a compliment. How could all the other servants look up to him like he was an idol? His wife is just as bad. She was dim-witted, pompous, dull, unexciting, doting, and about every other trait Ed disliked in humans. Her daughter is no better. Had Edward been given a chance to write a book, he would have rambled on all day about the spoilt little girl, and how ridiculous her overly-done hair was curled. The brother was kind, he knew that from first glance. It wasn't like his heart wasn't in the right place, but he was fairly sure he wasn't a hamster.
It was fine to say he detested them.
"Mommy~EDDY IS GONE!"
Wails travelled through the house and shattered a good many glass goblets. Servants covered their ears as they went by Anniabellsusannan's room, with her mother's voice barely poking through the undignified screams.
Mr. Smith sniffed disprovingly. "I knew that cat was trouble from the second he messed up my paperwork."
In reality, Ed was sorting it out in the correct manner. Heck, he was bored. And out of his mind. And the ungrateful git messed it up all over again. Sheesh, humans are so arrogant.
"I don't care!" Screamed Anniabellsusannan as she stamped on the well-carpeted floor. "I WANT HIM BACK RIGHT NOW! Daddy, sent the army! Get my Eddy back right NOW!"
The father pulled his wife away from the hysterical little monster to break the bad news quickly. He had wanted to tell her sooner but that was unceremoniously interrupted by their daughter's tantrum, which was more like a miniature eruption than a tantrum. Twelve stairwells later and well away from Anniabellsusannan he clasped his hands tightly aound Mrs. Smith's as he brought about their misfortune.
"Mary...I've been fired."
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Anyways, sorry if my typing was crap. I tried fixing it but I'm almost certain that I left out a couple. My typo sucks as usual.