Cuckoos
Part 1: Three Blondes and a Dragon
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own the Stepford Cuckoos, Lockheed or any other familiar characters, they all belong to Marvel. Some of the dialogue is from New X-men: Academy X #2, also owned by Marvel.
Author's note- Were any of you guys disappointed at the sudden disappearance of the Stepford Cuckoos in recent issues of the X-Men? Hell, back in New X- Men they appeared in every other issue! What about New X-Men: Academy X #2, when the kids were split up into teams. Where were they then? I thought that they were Emma Frost's star pupils and who does she choose for her squad? An annoying telekinetic, a girl that turns into dust (Eew!), Thing- Lite, an Archangel wannabe and some chick made out of mercury? Please! And the Corsairs? BWAHAHAHAHAA!! {Falls off chair with laughter.} That is such a dorky name! Well, only somebody that dresses like a giant novelty condom could come up with a crappy name like that! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Scott Summers! {Snort!} At least Dani's team have a little credibility!
Anyway, with that rant over and done with, let's get on with the story...
Also note that this is a spin-off of 'The Uncanny New Mutants.' You might want to read that or this whole thing may be a leeetle confusing!
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning-
Phoebe, Fiona and Eve, the three remaining Stepford Cuckoos are sitting outside the Institute for the morning assembly. Why the assemblies at Xavier's are held outside are beyond me, but bear with me for a moment. It is an important day for the students at Xavier's as they are to be split into teams and assigned advisors. Scott Summers is up on stage blathering on about some such thing...
'Get a load of his new uniform!' Eve snorts. 'He looks like a giant novelty condom!'
'Who designed that thing?' Fiona asks.
'I don't know.' Phoebe replies. 'But whoever did it needs to be shot'
The three identical blonde telepaths look up as they hear the beating of leathery wings. It's Lockheed. Just recently the little purple dragon has adopted the three girls as his... sidekicks if you will after Fiona accidentally walked in on him singing to himself while making a sandwich. (See Uncanny New Mutants: The Uncanny BLEW Mutants- Part 2 for details.) Lockheed also employed their help in playing a rather amusing prank on Pete Wisdom involving an image inducer, several pairs of gloves, razors, a hat, a stripy sweater and some duct tape but that is a different tale altogether. (See The Merc and The Ninja: The Uncanny BLEW Mutants- Part 3 for details. Coming Soon!)
'I ain't missed anythin' 'ave I?' The dragon whispers, landing on Fiona's shoulder.
'Just another of Mister Summers's boring speeches.' Phoebe replies.
'Get a load of his new uniform!' Lockheed says. 'He looks like a...'
'Giant novelty condom.' Eve says. 'We know.'
Cyclops continues with his speech.
'...And those are the members of my squad, the Corsairs!'
'The Corsairs?' Phoebe snorts. 'How lame can you get?'
'I heard they were named after his father.' Fiona adds.
'But still.' Eve says. 'Lame!'
'Miss Frost will now introduce her squad.' Cyclops says.
'Here we go!' Phoebe says. 'This is us!'
Emma frost steps up to the mic and introduces her squad.
'Julian Keller codename: Hellion.'
'Arrogant Mommy's boy!' Phoebe snorts.
'Cessily Kincaid codename: Mercury.'
'Pretty girl.' Phoebe says. 'Lot of potential.'
'Santo Vaccarro codename: Rockslide.'
'Thing-Lite!' Phoebe yawns. 'This is getting boring. Eve, you take over insulting the newbies, 'kay? I'm gonna catch some shut eye.'
Emma continues introducing her team.
'Jay Guthrie codename: Icarus.'
'Cute.' Eve says. 'But sooo an Archangel wannabe!'
'Sooraya Qadir codename: Dust.'
'Eew!' Eve winces. 'She can turn into dust! Ecch!'
'Brian Cruz codename: Tag.'
'Never heard of the guy.' Eve says.
'And so, I give to you... my squad. The Hellions.'
'WHAT?' Fiona yells, waking up Phoebe. 'This is an outrage!'
'Calm down Fiona.' Eve says to her sister. 'Maybe Miss Moonstar's chosen us for her team.'
Then Danielle Moonstar, the former New Mutant known as Mirage walks up and introduces her squad.
Later-
The Cuckoos and Lockheed are now hanging out in the student lounge. The three blonde girls are furious. They haven't been chosen for any of the squads!
'I can't see how this could happen!' Phoebe says. 'We were Miss Frost's star pupils! What happened?'
'I think it went balls up when yer told Jean Grey about the psychic affair Frosty had with Summers.' Lockheed replies.
'Miss Frost doesn't hold a grudge.' Fiona says. 'Right?'
'I'd like to think so Fiona.' Eve says. 'We'll have to go see her about it.'
'Yipe! Time ter go!' Lockheed says. 'Kit's back from her mission to Hong Kong! Seeya round girls!'
'Bye Lockheed!' The girls reply. They watch as Lockheed flies over to his 'owner' and flutters around her head like an obedient pet.
'Look at her.' Phoebe says. 'Not a clue in the world!'
'About what?' Fiona asks.
'About the fact that she's got a real-live talking dragon!' Phoebe replies.
'Oh, right.' Fiona says. 'I thought that you were talking about the fact that her best friend has a crush on Miss TJ.'
'Rachel Grey's got a crush on Miss TJ?' Eve and Phoebe gasp.
'What?' Fiona, being the ever-present ditz that she is, replies. 'Did I forget to tell you that?'
TBC...
NEXT: The Cuckoos talk to Miss Frost about being left out of the squad selection. What will she say? Will they get their own squad? If so, who else will join them? And who will be their advisor? All these questions and more will be answered next time in: Cuckoos!
Part 1: Three Blondes and a Dragon
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- I don't own the Stepford Cuckoos, Lockheed or any other familiar characters, they all belong to Marvel. Some of the dialogue is from New X-men: Academy X #2, also owned by Marvel.
Author's note- Were any of you guys disappointed at the sudden disappearance of the Stepford Cuckoos in recent issues of the X-Men? Hell, back in New X- Men they appeared in every other issue! What about New X-Men: Academy X #2, when the kids were split up into teams. Where were they then? I thought that they were Emma Frost's star pupils and who does she choose for her squad? An annoying telekinetic, a girl that turns into dust (Eew!), Thing- Lite, an Archangel wannabe and some chick made out of mercury? Please! And the Corsairs? BWAHAHAHAHAA!! {Falls off chair with laughter.} That is such a dorky name! Well, only somebody that dresses like a giant novelty condom could come up with a crappy name like that! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Scott Summers! {Snort!} At least Dani's team have a little credibility!
Anyway, with that rant over and done with, let's get on with the story...
Also note that this is a spin-off of 'The Uncanny New Mutants.' You might want to read that or this whole thing may be a leeetle confusing!
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning-
Phoebe, Fiona and Eve, the three remaining Stepford Cuckoos are sitting outside the Institute for the morning assembly. Why the assemblies at Xavier's are held outside are beyond me, but bear with me for a moment. It is an important day for the students at Xavier's as they are to be split into teams and assigned advisors. Scott Summers is up on stage blathering on about some such thing...
'Get a load of his new uniform!' Eve snorts. 'He looks like a giant novelty condom!'
'Who designed that thing?' Fiona asks.
'I don't know.' Phoebe replies. 'But whoever did it needs to be shot'
The three identical blonde telepaths look up as they hear the beating of leathery wings. It's Lockheed. Just recently the little purple dragon has adopted the three girls as his... sidekicks if you will after Fiona accidentally walked in on him singing to himself while making a sandwich. (See Uncanny New Mutants: The Uncanny BLEW Mutants- Part 2 for details.) Lockheed also employed their help in playing a rather amusing prank on Pete Wisdom involving an image inducer, several pairs of gloves, razors, a hat, a stripy sweater and some duct tape but that is a different tale altogether. (See The Merc and The Ninja: The Uncanny BLEW Mutants- Part 3 for details. Coming Soon!)
'I ain't missed anythin' 'ave I?' The dragon whispers, landing on Fiona's shoulder.
'Just another of Mister Summers's boring speeches.' Phoebe replies.
'Get a load of his new uniform!' Lockheed says. 'He looks like a...'
'Giant novelty condom.' Eve says. 'We know.'
Cyclops continues with his speech.
'...And those are the members of my squad, the Corsairs!'
'The Corsairs?' Phoebe snorts. 'How lame can you get?'
'I heard they were named after his father.' Fiona adds.
'But still.' Eve says. 'Lame!'
'Miss Frost will now introduce her squad.' Cyclops says.
'Here we go!' Phoebe says. 'This is us!'
Emma frost steps up to the mic and introduces her squad.
'Julian Keller codename: Hellion.'
'Arrogant Mommy's boy!' Phoebe snorts.
'Cessily Kincaid codename: Mercury.'
'Pretty girl.' Phoebe says. 'Lot of potential.'
'Santo Vaccarro codename: Rockslide.'
'Thing-Lite!' Phoebe yawns. 'This is getting boring. Eve, you take over insulting the newbies, 'kay? I'm gonna catch some shut eye.'
Emma continues introducing her team.
'Jay Guthrie codename: Icarus.'
'Cute.' Eve says. 'But sooo an Archangel wannabe!'
'Sooraya Qadir codename: Dust.'
'Eew!' Eve winces. 'She can turn into dust! Ecch!'
'Brian Cruz codename: Tag.'
'Never heard of the guy.' Eve says.
'And so, I give to you... my squad. The Hellions.'
'WHAT?' Fiona yells, waking up Phoebe. 'This is an outrage!'
'Calm down Fiona.' Eve says to her sister. 'Maybe Miss Moonstar's chosen us for her team.'
Then Danielle Moonstar, the former New Mutant known as Mirage walks up and introduces her squad.
Later-
The Cuckoos and Lockheed are now hanging out in the student lounge. The three blonde girls are furious. They haven't been chosen for any of the squads!
'I can't see how this could happen!' Phoebe says. 'We were Miss Frost's star pupils! What happened?'
'I think it went balls up when yer told Jean Grey about the psychic affair Frosty had with Summers.' Lockheed replies.
'Miss Frost doesn't hold a grudge.' Fiona says. 'Right?'
'I'd like to think so Fiona.' Eve says. 'We'll have to go see her about it.'
'Yipe! Time ter go!' Lockheed says. 'Kit's back from her mission to Hong Kong! Seeya round girls!'
'Bye Lockheed!' The girls reply. They watch as Lockheed flies over to his 'owner' and flutters around her head like an obedient pet.
'Look at her.' Phoebe says. 'Not a clue in the world!'
'About what?' Fiona asks.
'About the fact that she's got a real-live talking dragon!' Phoebe replies.
'Oh, right.' Fiona says. 'I thought that you were talking about the fact that her best friend has a crush on Miss TJ.'
'Rachel Grey's got a crush on Miss TJ?' Eve and Phoebe gasp.
'What?' Fiona, being the ever-present ditz that she is, replies. 'Did I forget to tell you that?'
TBC...
NEXT: The Cuckoos talk to Miss Frost about being left out of the squad selection. What will she say? Will they get their own squad? If so, who else will join them? And who will be their advisor? All these questions and more will be answered next time in: Cuckoos!