Pov Louisa (it will be mostly in her pov, unless I say otherwise)
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
"Shut up!" But my screams were muffled as the gag in my mouth prevented me from saying anything, nothing came out. Not even my screams.
The doctor seemed to have noticed my discomfort and simply smiled at me, smirking almost. I would have felt save, if I hadn't know what was going to happen to me, I really didn't want it. I'd do anything to make it stop to make sure nothing ever happened to me again. No experiments, no electric shocks, no therapy, nothing. Not to me, not to anyone.
It has been over 3 years that I had been here, in this hellhole they called Saint Mary Institute of The Mental Ill. Another name was the crazy people house, a name often called by children passing by on the bikes, laughing with friends.
Friends. Those were the people who turned me into this place in the first place, they thought me not to trust people. And that was the exact reason why I didn't. I didn't when nurses and doctors came to talk to me when I first got it, not when the nurses came to bring me food in the beginning, still with smiles on their faces knowing it was not going to last long. And of course I was right, it lasted about 4 days before their smiles turned into scowled and glares. My then-roommate said it was because i was prettier than them and that they were jealous and simply wanted to be friends to ruin me later. The doctors never stopped smiling but I at least understood why; their late night visits explained enough.
Lately, their visits had become less and less, I knew it was due to that new girl, who arrived about 4 months ago. Mary Alice, a very pretty name and I assumed she was very pretty too.
But I hoped they didn't visit her at night, I hoped they'd just leave her alone. I didn't want another girl ruined because men couldn't keep their hands to their selves.
But I heard the Mary Alice girl had a similar treatment as I had, shock therapy and social isolation. So I couldn't help but be a bit curious about what her illness might be, and who brought her in; had it been her friends like with me or was the betrayed by family or a lover. Had she started to forget about her life before here, or was she just like me clinging onto every memory.
So I couldn't help but be excited when I heard who my new roommate would be; dear Sullen had passed away about 2 weeks ago after a treatment, nobody outside the institute had shown up at her funeral, which made me think that Sullen had been right saying that our lifs ended the moment we set foot in this place. That when we came here, we came here to die; I had just brushed it off, Sullen quite often said these dark and yet so truthfully words and I was going to miss them.
That didn't kill me excitement for sharing a room with Mary Alice.
She looked a bit more down when she entered the room, by seeing the marks on her wrists I knew exactly why.
Maybe it was better that we shared a room, we'd understand what we went through and could support each other.
"Now, be good girls." Doctor L gave me a sickening smile before walking out and locking the door.
Like we were going to do something.
"Mary Alice, nice to meet you." And so she finally spoke.
It had been about 2 hours ever since they dropped her off in my room, her new room and I had come back from therapy about half an hour ago.
I remembered how she stared at my wrists and at the small marks I had on my face from the gag and I could see that she had taken some comfort in this, knowing that she wasn't alone.
"Louisa, just Louisa." And then she smiled for the first time, in a while I think, as her cheeks tightened and she looked a bit uncomfortable. "Very nice to meet you, just Louisa."
And for the rest of the night we softly spoke with each other, about nothing and everything at the same time. It felt nice to talk to someone who didn't think you were mad, simply because you liked speak your mind, to come up for yourself and for others.
Besides, I got to know Mary Alice a little bit better, the girl wasn't crazy for what I saw; she just had a good sense of feeling and of the what might happen next. But nothing that was too bad.
We hadn't really talked about our life before here but I knew it wouldn't take long before it would come up.
The only time we fell quiet was when the door unlocked and opened, I was frozen in fear, thinking it was them again and I didn't want my new friend Mary Alice to see me get used and hurt in that way; I didn't want her to think different of me. But it was just a nurse bringing us food. I didn't recognize this nurse, she wasn't young and mean looking like the others, she even carried herself in a careful way around us; not to protect herself but not to startle us. How strange and yet so nice. This made me even more wary about her, nobody was ever nice her, not unless they wanted something from you.
The last time someone was nice to me, I found myself tied to a bed for 2 days with no food and no water. Only bad tasting alcohol, mainly to make sure I wasn't strong enough to fight back.
The same nurse ended up bringing us breakfast too and a smile had yet to fade from her face; it was making me very nervous.
I didn't trust her.
It had been 9 days since Mary Alice had become my roommate, it was calming to come from a treatment to a roommate who understood everything you were going through. There was only one rule , more like tradition we made; we never spoke for the first half hour after, we both needed the time to calm and catch our breath.
And in those 9 days I hadn't had a night visit from any doctor and I wondered if it was because I started sharing a room with the brunette, there had been some rumours that one of the doctors had a slight crush on her. I hoped for her it was neither doctor L or doctor M, I really prayed it weren't them.
"Mary Alice, who was that doctor? From yesterday?" She didn't seem surprised by the question, almost chuckling when I finally asked. "Is he the one who loves you? Your lover?" This caused the brunette to burst into laughter, making me a bit jealous about her laugh, which sounded like little bells ringing while mine sounded like a goat choking. "Oh please, you must tell me Mary Alice." But she simply shook her head, "I am quite aware of his feelings for me but I must say we are definitely not lovers," I groaned, hoping for something better, "however, I do get this strange feeling around him. But more something like fear than love. Like I should run away from him, fast and far."
That didn't sound very good and I fought against telling her to follow her instincts, knowing the girl was probably knowing what she was doing.
"Besides, he could be our way out of here."
And with that she turned in her bed and went to sleep, leaving me with the sentence he just whispered.
Sadly for her, the only way out of here was to die. And I doubted the man who loved her would kill her or me.
I must warn you, this will contain sexual and vocal abuse. If you don't wish to read it, scroll down until you see the next marking line. If you may wonder about why this is in my story, it is because it is something that happens to a lot of different women and men, and it is very important fort he characters development and the friendship between Alice and Louisa.
"Wakey wakey, princess." My body tensed from just hearing those words, that voice, I already knew what was going to happen. It had been foolish of me thinking it would end just because Mary Alice was my new roommate. Glancing next to me, I saw she was peacefully sleeping.
"Missed me, princess?" The dark and low voice of doctor L made Goosebumps spread across my body, my legs automatically started pressing tighter against each other, but I knew it wasn't going to help. All I could do was close my eyes and hope it was going to end soon.
But it never ended fast. It felt like it kept going on for hours and I wouldn't be surprised if it actually went on for hours.
"We have to be quiet, princess. Wouldn't want to wake up your friend now do we?" He was taunting me, my silence during his abuse was something he actually enjoyed. He usually kept on telling me how submissive I was and all for him. That I was his possession, that I was his. That I was nothing but a woman, a thing top lease him, to take his frustrations out on. That it was my job to just sit bak and accept anything he threw at me. That I was built, made for his sick mind. And that even if I ever got out of here, nobody would ever want me. That i was marked for life, that I could never be normal again. That he'd follow me everywhere. In my dreams, in my nightmares, in my afterlife.
I would never be free again and he enjoyed it.
The power it gave him, dominating a defenceless girl, barely an adult. I bet I was a boost in his ego, in the confidence he had about himself.
And he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it so much and he wanted to make sure I'd never enjoy myself or another again. I could see it in his eyes.
When he threw my arms away as I tried to fight him, my body taking over as I bit his lip when he tried to kiss me. That had been the first hit, punishing me for hurting him, even though he enjoyed the pain, the sick bastard.
I could see it in his eyes when he forced my legs open, when he bit in my thigh, harder and harder until it drew blood. He enjoyed how I flinched when he shoved away my nightdress, seeing I had given up the fight.
No matter how much times I had endured this already that first trust always hurt.
He pounded into me, mercilessly, not caring that I had already started bleeding and that silent cries left my body.
Every time it happened, it felt like I was being torn open, like all the light left me and after a while I even stopped crying, I just laid there. Letting him use me. It was not like I could stop him, nobody could.
Nobody could save me now.
After a while, I could feel him getting slower and slower, while his grunts and groans became more frequent. That was how I knew he was almost finished, that the torment would end, the torment of this night.
"You love this, don't you? You whore, you like it when I trust into your torn p****. You like it when I hit you." And he struck me again.
His sickening smile froze as he came in me, not caring that I may be or get pregnant. But he never cared about what happened to me, he didn't care that I had to scrub the blood out of my nightdress and out of my bedsheets.
No, he just left. To sleep in his bed, on his soft matrass, not feeling guilty. But then again, monsters never feel guilty.
Tommorow he was going to tell his friends and co-workers about his crazy night with some whore and I was sure some knew he was talking about me, I saw the glances they gave me. Looking over my body, not caring if I wanted them to or not.
But which man ever cared about what a woman felt. I was sure there were men out there, who were good and pure but sadly, I hadn't met one yet.
"I hope you enjoyed the show, doll."
No, no, no, no. Mary Alice had seen. No, what if she thought I enjoyed it, what if she thought I was a perverted whore who liked being used.
Tears silently fell from my cheeks as I turned to face Mary Alice as doctor L left the room, locking the door behind him. She was silent, her big eyes staring in my soul, searching for something. I held my breath as she stood from her bed and came to lay down next to me, making sure she wasn't touching me. At first I assumed it was because she was grossed out, but soon she took my hand in hers, gave it a light kiss and told me good night. That was when I found out she came to lay next to me to comfort me, to protect me as she hadn't been able to protect me from the bad man.
And that how we spent the night, holding each others hand, her asleep while all I could do was stare at her, wondering why she wasn't grossed out or why she hadn't simply ignored it, like my late roommate.
And I realized I thrusted her.
I thrusted this petite, doe-eyed brunette.
I didn't thrust him, this new doctor.
Sure, he was being nice to me and he was very kind to Mary Alice but there was something off about this man. She had been right when she told me everything in her body screamed at her to run far away.
"Are you feeling any pain?" His voice was smooth and low, nothing like the voices from the other doctors but he was nothing like the other doctors. This man was old and yet loked ageless, he was fast and strong and never looked anyone in the eye. He was also the first doctor to say anything about the bitemark on my leg, I knew others had seen it but he was the first to actually say something about it.
"No, sir." My voice was still hoarse from the treatment earlier, it hurt to speak and I guessed it wasn't very nice to listen to as I watched the doctor groan before giving me a grin.
"All your pains will be over soon." He winked at me once more and told the nurse to bring me to my room, it was that strange nurse from earlier this week but she didn't seem to recognize me.
My room was empty as I arrived, good. It gave me room and time to think, to think about what the old doctor said and about what he meant by that. Was I going to die soon? Was he going to kill me or maybe Mary Alice? Or us both?
No, no, even though I hated it here I wasn't prepared to die here, just so I could stop feeling pain. Pain made u stronger, even if you don't realise it yet.
But I was going to find out pretty soon.
It was late in the night when I heard the door unlock, I quickly looked beside me. Mary Alice was still sleeping in me bed, holding my hand tightly and I assumed she heard the noise too as her grip became tighter.
The dark figure slowly came closer to us, as if not trying to wake us, it couldn't be doctor L, he wouldn't have cared about waking us up or not.
This was someone else, a new danger, only I wasn't aware how big on it actually was.
"Mary Alice, you are going to make a great piece." Was the last thing I heard before I saw the thing that disturbed and scared me the most of anything I had ever seen and of anything I will ever see.
I watched how old and I suppose cold fingers moved Mary Alice' hair away from her neck before getting closer and bearing its teeth to me before sinking it in her neck.
Her screams of pain were heard not even seconds later and it wasn't hard to guess what hurt that much. This person was actually biting her, ripping open her flesh and biting her, really biting. And all I could do was stare for a while before I joined Mary Alice in the screaming. This seemed to have taken the attention from her attacker and I watched how he suddenly realized she wasn't alone anymore.
I watched how a bloody grin covered his face as he picked her up and laid her on the other bed before turning to me.
"I wasn't going to turn you, you're not that special but I suppose my dear Mary Alice could use a friend."
And that was the last thing I heard as a human.
As days later, 3 days of painful burning and an awakening with great thirst, I watched Mary Alice. She was still unconscious when I woke and I knew something was off. Something was very off as I wasn't able to hear my heartbeat and I didn't feel the need to breath.
I could guess what has become of me but I first needed Mary Alice to wake up, I wasn't doing anything without her.
But while I waited for her I started wondering, I wondered where our attacker went and who it was. I wondered why nobody, no doctor no nurse had came in to bring us to therapy for another treatment. And I wondered why I was slowly forgetting the faces of those nurses and those doctors, well most doctors. I wasn't going to forget doctor L very soon.
But I wondered that if I was right about what we are, we may be able to leave this place once and for all.
If Mary Alice could just wake up.