Helga stepped tentatively into the department store and looked from side to side to confirm that no one she had ever possibly met in her life would see her there. A waft of perfume samples hit her in the face as she slinked past the cosmetics counters and searched for the swimwear aisle. In her thrift store jeans and band t-shirt she felt like she was completely out of her element. Criminy. What am I doing here? She shook her head, then set her face into a comfortable scowl and tramped through the store like she owned the place.

When she got to the swimwear section, her gaze was immediately drawn to the sporty one-pieces in the back corner. No, Helga, think SEXY you idiot! She started absentmindedly rifling through a rack of leopard print bikinis beside her. She wanted to gag. Unfortunately the few times she'd gone swimming in recent years she had stuck to the basic uniform of white t-shirt and pink shorts with any old swimsuit underneath. But this time was different. She had to up her game. Because there was a person coming swimming at the lake this weekend. And she wouldn't mind if this particular person happened to see…

"Helga?" the incredulous voice came from behind her.

She whirled around to see none other than Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, the self-appointed fashion expert of the school. Helga gritted her teeth and frowned. Crap. Caught in the act….. Just be natural….

"Oh hey, Rhonda, what's happening?" she said in as casual a tone as she could muster.

"Oh not much…." Rhonda said with slitted eyes. "What brings you here, this lovely day? I don't normally see you in this part of the store."

Helga looked down at her hand, which was holding a very skimpy green string bikini top. She immediately hooked it back on the rack and crossed her arms quickly. "Nothing! I'm not doing anything! I'm just…. Seeing what the idiots of our generation decide to humiliate themselves with by wearing in public heheh…."

Rhonda's eyes remained slitted, but her mouth curled into a wry grin. "So… you're NOT searching for a sexy two-piece to wear this weekend at the lake to try to impress a certain someone who recently came back into town after spending last year in the jungle with his parents…?"

Helga growled and gritted her teeth. Why does she have such a nose for gossip?

"It's OK, Helga," Rhonda continued, her grin growing into a triumphant smile. "You should be glad I stumbled upon you, today. You may have heard that I was recently accepted to the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. When I'm done with you, you will be able impress whoever you want this weekend."

Helga opened her mouth to spout some kind of sarcastic comeback to this grandiose statement, but unfortunately nothing came out. She stopped and thought for a moment. Maybe it wouldn't be terrible to have some advice right now… Normally I only trust Phoebe with this sort of thing, but she might be out of her element in this department, too. It doesn't help that her boyfriend is the "coolest" guy in the school who also happens to think she'd look adorable in a burlap sack….

"So, Helga?" Rhonda snapped her out of her daydream. "What do you say?"

Helga rolled her eyes and gave in. "Fine, princess, you can help me."

Rhonda leaped up and clapped her hands with a high-pitched squeal. "Yes yes! Trust me, I can help you accent the best and most womanly parts of your body. Arnold won't be able to resist you!"

At the sound of her beloved's name, Helga's face flushed a deep crimson red. "All right, all right, cool it, sister. I'm just shopping for a bathing suit here, not attracting a mate. Just pick out some stuff for me to try on. Preferably pink."

Before she could reconsider, Rhonda grabbed her wrist and was off running down the aisles with her captive in tow.

I think I've made a terrible mistake….

Across town, lounging on the stoop of a familiar red brick boarding house, a pair of young men enjoyed some melting ice cream cones and the pleasure of each others' company. Arnold and Gerald had been best friends for most of their lives, but it never ceased to amaze Arnold how seamlessly they fell back into their easy camaraderie, no matter how long they'd been apart in the meantime.

Though they had been in contact regularly over the course of the last year, they still had plenty to catch up on in person. Arnold related harrowing tales of his adventures in the jungle, searching for plants, animals, and ancient artifacts with his parents. Gerald had his own, equally-harrowing stories of the perils of urban living, peppered with his signature "legendary" flourishes.

Of course, Arnold had already seen and talked to pretty much everyone in the gang yesterday when he first got home. They were all waiting at the boarding house to welcome him back. Any façade of manliness he might have gained during his year in the wild melted away. The sight of all his old friends gathered in one place just to see him brought more than one tear to his eyes. Everyone gathered around him to slap him on the back or give him a hug. Everyone... with one notable exception.

But nothing could replace getting the chance to be filled in on a year's worth of goings on from his best friend one-on-one. Hearing about how Harold had found his calling on the senior football team. How Sid won a summer internship at an amphibian research center in Canada. How Stinky had studied abroad in France for a year and gained a level of smoothness and culture no one thought possible of him. Sheena's animal activism. Rhonda's fashion scholarship. The list went on. With one notable exception…

"Well, this shouldn't surprise you, but you'll be happy to know that Phoebe got accepted to Harvard for next year." Gerald grinned widely at this last piece of news.

Arnold smiled. "You're right, that doesn't surprise me. We've all known that's where she was headed from the start. How are the two of you, by the way?"

"Good, good. She's crazy about me, as usual." He leaned back confidently on the steps with his hands laced behind his head.

"Right…." Arnold laughed. "How are you gonna handle the long distance with both of you in different parts of the country next year?"

Gerald's confident posture faltered for a moment. "I don't know, man. We will keep in touch, see each other over holidays. We'll make it work, though."

Arnold smiled, sorry he had brought up an uncomfortable subject. "I know you will, Gerald."

"Speaking of which!" Gerald's face brightened, and he sat up. "You failed to mention any juicy details of your own exploits this past year. You know… of a female variety…."

Arnold frowned and blushed. Suddenly he didn't feel so bad about making his friend uncomfortable a minute ago. "There were no exploits, Gerald. Most of the time we were in the middle of nowhere with no other human beings around for miles."

"Yeah, most of the time. What about the rest of the time?"

"The rest of the time I was helping my parents and working on my studies. I didn't have any time to think about any of that."

"Mmmm-hmmm." Gerald gave him a knowing glance. "I'm sure there were no svelte, gorgeously tan jungle babes anywhere to be seen the entire year you were down there."

"Well of course there were but…."

"But you're a gentleman, I know, I know. You would never exploit your position as the football-headed god of the green eyed people for your own personal gain! This is Arnold we're talking about!"

"Gerald…"

"I'm sorry, man, I couldn't resist!" He lightheartedly punched him on the shoulder.

Arnold chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Anyways, you know I've never had much luck with females, before."

Gerald nodded. "With one notable exception."

"Yeah." Arnold turned his head and gazed down the street. "With one notable exception."