Disclaimer: laughs insanely Me! Own Law and Order? AHAHAHAHAHAHA gasp No, I don't, so don't come after me with your civil suits and pitchforks, please. The Italic stuff is the song "Hello" (at least I hope it's called that)...anywho, it's by Evanescence. It's not mine...sigh
Playground school bell rings...again Rain clouds come to play... again
A little boy looked up beyond the confines of the small, fenced perimeter of the school's back lot at the depressing gray clouds meandering toward him. It was strange to see him there, similar to the smattering of gray clouds amongst the carefree blue backdrop. The intellectual surrounded and suffocated by the ignorant. A bell sounded, pulling him back to his dim reality. The day was half over, closer to the dreaded return home. With a sigh, he turned and trudged back towards the school knowing that, with every little step, he was that much closer to the black hole that was his 'home'.
"...Bobby?"
Has no one told you she's not breathing
Hello I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to...
Detective Goren's head jerked up at the sound of his name to come nearly nose-to-nose with his partner. She stepped back in alarm at his sudden response after her repeated attempts to get his attention.
"Whoa...um, are you okay?" her normally detached and penetrating gaze was softened with concern.
"...Yeah..."
Eames didn't want to push him (at least not in front of everyone there), so she merely nodded. She would have to wait for an opportunity to present itself.
"You get anything out of those crime scene photos yet?" she queried, once again busying herself with the endless sifting through names, pictures, and dates.
"Not yet..." he responded distantly, already starting to fall back into his stupor. Alex gave him an odd look as his eyes stopped in the middle of a report and glazed over.
If I smile and don't believe Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
He was standing on the front porch of the apartment he lived in as a youth, staring morosely out at the empty street in front of him. A movement out of the corner of his eyes makes him turn and see his mother walking toward him. The way she used to be, with her eyes sparkling with joy, not with the invisible enemies that haunted her. It was unbelievable...she was home! Thoughts of being able to spend hours of happiness with her again and knowing that there would be someone there for him flew through his mind in a blurry ecstasy. His eyes lit up as he smiled and made to run into her open arms, when dark clouds suddenly appeared and twisted into a vicious tempest and snatched his mother up before either of them could react. She and the storm abruptly disappeared from sight, butthat didn't stop her screams from echoing in his ears...
Goren sat bolt upright in his bed, breathing heavily. It took a moment for him to realize where he was and calm down. He ran his hands over his face, smearing the tears away. He turned and went off to the kitchen, knowing he wouldn't get any more sleep tonight.
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie, living for you so you can hide Don't cry...
Alex looked Goren over as they left MCS to go visit a vic's family out in Queens. He was much more pale and worn-out-looking than usual, and she suspected that he hadn't each much either in the past two days, when his unusual behavior started. Still, she waited to say anything until they were in the privacy of the SUV. As they pulled out of the parking garage, she noticed his usual ramblings over case facts were silenced and instead he was staring at his hands folded over his lap. So disturbed was she by Bobby's extreme passiveness that she decided to simply cut to the chase and not mince words.
"What is it?"
He twitched violently back to reality and, finally realizing what she was asking, tried desperately to feign a passive look of innocence.
"Huh? What do you m-"
Eames cut him off angrily.
"Don't give me that crap, Goren, what's eating at you somuch you can't even concentrate on our case? I bet you don't even know the damn name of the vic!"
Heslid his gaze away from her, obviously relunctant to look her in the eye,to look out the window. His eyes darted from one thing to another, avoiding her frequent glances from traffic to him.
"Her name is Emily Varner. And it's nothing..." He risked a glance at his partner and found her giving him her all-knowing interrogation stare. He sighed exasperatedly and gave her an icy glare before turning back to look at the passing scenery.
"It's nothing, alright? I can take care of myself!"
The ferocity of his tone physically stung her and made her recoil a little. Bobby saw it out of the corner of his eye, and his angry expression melted."It's not like you could do anything about it, anyway..." He muttered quietly as they pulled up to the Varners'. Alex did a double take, but Bobby had put up his emotional blocks of impenetrable black steel again.
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here All that's left of yesterday...
It was Saturday afternoon, and Alex wandered aimlessly around her apartment, half-considering going back to bed. She hadn't slept well the night before due to her worry about Bobby and his near complete silence after their argument. Right now he would be visiting his mother, so she couldn't try to make up with him until that evening. Eventually she gave up on trying to sleep and started watching A Beautiful Mind to complimenther dreary mood.
Halfway through, the phone rang. After briefly considering whether or not she should pick it up, she relented and answered.
"Eames."
"...Hi..."
"Bobby?" She sat up in alarm; it couldn't be good if he was calling now.
"Yea..." His voice cracked and sounded very weak.
"Are you alright? What's going on? It's Saturday, you're supposed to be up at Caramel Ridge..."
Silence reigned on the other end. At first, she was extremely confused, but suddenly her detective's reflexes kicked in, andthe pieces slid together. There was only one thing that could shake him this badly and keep him from visiting his mother... She gave a small gasp. How could she not have seen it?
"You figured it out." His tone was flat, but shook a little with the emotional weight.
"Oh my God, I...I'm so sorry Bobby..." She paused, afraid to ask the most obvious question, but braced herself for the worst.
"How?"
"Sh-she...um..." She could hear sobs being stifled in the background, and her heart ached with sympathy. Emotion choked his voice when he finally did reply.
"There was an emergency with another patient. They h-had to leave her, and when th-they got back, sh-she had, um," He spoke barely above a whisper, "hung herself. They have no idea how she d-" He cut off abruptly, unable to say more. He took several shaky breaths before continuing.
"A-anyway, I'm sorry about yesterday, this past week, everything. I was-"
The phone started beeping. He gave the phone a quizzical look, then suddenly brightened with realization and hung it back up. Turning around, he muddled his way through his tears back to the couch to sit down and wait for Alex.