This is an attempt to write a DMC fanfic please tell me how I do with a review

The night is dark and cold as she climbed up the cold slippery stone steps up the twisted sides of the Temen-ni-gru. A large tower that seals off the demonic world she was trying to run trying to hide from the demons that plagued her day and night and this seemed like the best place.

The rain poured down pelting her poor tired body as an unholy screech filled the night air over the thunder causing her to move faster. She had to reach him before it was to late he had to understand she needed him even if he didn't need her. She reached the top breathing hard her body shaking as she saw the twin sons of that damn demon Sparta fighting their appearances the same due to the rain. She watched as they fought with blades in an elegant and deadly dance of life and death.

"Vergil stop!" she yelled her voice unheard by the colder of the demons yet his brother the one known as Dante heard her and turned as Vergil stabbed him she screamed falling to her knees crying this was what she was trying to stop this was what she was trying to prevent the colder brother the one she gave her heart to now looked at her shocked she was even there as Arkham the twisted librarian smiled calling Vergil away from her to the dark power he offered.

She felt betrayal and rage for once instead of longing love and compassion, and this rage took her over making her grab Dante's blade charging stabbing Vergil in the shoulder as her eyes began to glow with her pain and hate for the Prince of Ice.

"I will never forgive you if he is dead you selfish bastard you have no heart!" she roared driving the blade deeper as true power was let lose in a blast of energy as she took on the form of her devil trigger. Black armor with silver and gold lining a blue-gemmed moon on her chest as fire erupted from her. "I will see to it that you will feel this pain!" she growled grabbing Dante's body jumping off the side landing in a small crevice where he she found him alive.

2 years later Devil may cry demon slaying shop.

"Dante get your lazy ass up," a cold female voice said trying to rouse the shop owner and delivery boy. "Five more minutes babe please" the silver haired male begged rolling over nuzzling in to a pillow only to have his bed lifted up from underneath him forcing him to the ground.

"God damn Hellen look what you did" Dante yelled at the young woman who was in a maids outfit glaring at him though her grey glasses her green eyes reminded him of acid and snakes yeah snakes. "I don't care you didn't get up when I said" she growled putting her hands on her hips. "Oh come on I was working late last night" he wined trying to make a case.

"Read my lips I don't care if you can't get the job don't on time and it is certainly not my fault if you are tired now get up you lazy bastard before I rip you a new one!" she hissed. Dante did like her she was a half demon like him self but she was also part witch, which was an added part he happened to like especially considering her magic for battle. He sighed remembering when she first used her witchy powers to fight off demons from the shop and how sexy she looked doing it. "Hey Dante were you listening?" she yelled hitting him in the head hard making him groan.

"No sorry I was thinking what?" he asked rubbing his head as she sighed. "Don't you remember what tomorrow is?" she asked sadly looking down so he knew it was heart wrenching. "No forgive me what is tomorrow?" he asked softly looking at her worried. "I-It's the anniversary of his death…" she said softly her voice wavering and it hit Dante she liked his brother still even though he broke her heart, even though he left her for power. He sighed hugging her pulling her close "it's all right babe I didn't mean to make you upset" he said going in to kiss her only to be greeted with a slap. "Try and pull that shit again son of Sparta and I will hurt you" she growled "Oh babe you know I like it when you play rough" he said practically purring grabbing her by the waist.

Their commotion could be heard down stairs by the other residents of the shop Lady and Trish they both sighed. "Every day they do this when will he learn she's not interested" Lady said scuffing as Hellen stormed down the stairs. "What was the pick up line today?" Trish asked trying to hold back her snickers. "Why don't I get your lips moving with mine!" she hissed venomously stealing one of Dante's tomato juice jugs.

They both looked at her concerned which earned them a puzzled look from the red haired witch demon. "What?" she practically barked looking at them odd Lady sighed being the first to speak. "Well Hellen dear we well we…" "We think you should get with Dante" Trish said cutting in crossing her arms over her chest. "Why he's no good why should I?" she growled ripping the top off the tomato juice taking a swig. "Well dear you know for a fact that Vergil isn't coming back so why hold out for him?" Lady asked looking at her sadly.

"I know he isn't dead I can feel it" Hellen said in a near hushed whisper now looking at the ground. "Even if he was alive he ripped your heart to shreds what makes you think he wouldn't do it again" Trish chimed in both comments earning a stern glare from the red head. "I don't want to listen to your shit either of you just stay out of my love life" she hissed leaving the shop slamming the door shut.

She sighed sadly stopping at the flower shop buying a bouquet of blue and white roses walking to the base of that accursed tower that stole her lover away. She carefully laid the flowers at the bottom entrance, silent tears rolling down her face as she sang softly.

"Listen to my voice calling you, Pulling you out of darkness. Hear the devil's cry of sin, Always turn your back on him. With the wind you go, Still I dream of your spirit leading you back home. I will give my gifts to you, Grow your garden, watch it bloom. The light in your eyes is an angel up high, Fighting to ease the shadow side. Hearts will grow though having to bend, Leaving behind all things in the end. Listen to my voice calling you, Pulling you out of darkness. Hear the devil's cry of sin, Always turn your back on him." She sang before standing to leave.

"Vergil I pray you come home again…. I don't want to be alone anymore never knowing if you loved me or not" she said before walking back to the shop. Little did she know that her song was heard and her prayers would be answered soon enough.

Hey guys thanks for putting up with me so let me know what you think and the song is out of darkness the opening song to devil may cry 4