A/N thanks so much to all the people who favourited my Jagan oneshot, and even more to all the fantastic people who left fantastic reviews! so I present to you Within, Without, in which Kendall is in love, Logan is understanding, Carlos is Carlos, and James gets himself into a sticky situation. Hahaha :) this was meant to be just a side project to Boom but it got a bit bigger than that!

The day had gone from bad to worse.

James was drifting away from the group, it seemed. Kendall couldn't fathom why, but he did know he, Logan, and Carlos weren't exactly doing anything to pull James back down to earth, back to 2J, back to them.

Rehearsals had gone badly.

Gustavo was in a worse mood than usual, Kelly was out sick, Kendall was suffering from his allergies, Logan and Carlos were having some petty argument about laundry detergent and how to best fry chicken, and James, well, James was standing slightly apart from the rest of them, looking at his hands, seeming anxious and even slightly afraid.

Kendall wanted to ask him what was wrong. James' lack of confidence was as scary as rushing at the edge of a cliff at a hundred and fifty an miles per hour; it wasn't supposed to happen and more to the point, how did it happen? Why was James so upset? But every time Kendall opened his mouth, Gustavo yelled and everyone began to bicker.

It was natural that being together this much sometimes caused arguments. Back in Minnesota, they could retreat to their own homes, their own private lives. Here, there was no such thing; they lived together, sang together, performed together. Essentially they breathed together. The loss of one of their members would be too tragic to even take into scope. It was just unfathomable to Kendall – and that was exactly the reason he wanted to ask James what was wrong.

Kendall never got to ask.

Kendall was too late.

"Where's James?" Logan demanded. "We're supposed to be working on our science project tonight."

"I don't know," Carlos snapped. Even Carlos was feeling antsy, a sure sign something wicked was about to happen. Kendall mused quietly to himself; he hoped James was alright. Although he didn't like to admit it (didn't like to admit that he wasn't batting for the same team he was when he was dating Jo), James had been the biggest part of his world for the better half of five or six months now.

It was the little things Kendall had noticed.

Habits that James had were no longer annoying to him, but endearing. At first he thought he'd just gotten used to them, then realised he actually liked them whenever James was forced to stop tapping his hands against his knees or flicking his hair around in rehearsals.

"Kendall, do you know where he is?"

"No," Kendall said softly. "He was pretty upset at rehearsals."

"Why?" He could tell he'd made his friends anxious and guilty, and for that he felt guilty himself, because that hadn't been his intention. They'd asked him and he'd told it like he saw it.

"I don't know. He just seemed really anxious and scared. I tried to ask him but Gustavo kept yelling."

"I'm sure he's-"

They rounded the corner to find James pressed against the wall, lips planted firmly against another guy's. Another guy's, and Kendall's heart gave a feeble splutter and then shriveled up. He had never even known James was that way inclined, let alone interested in… dogs, he thought, for lack of a better word. The guy was slobbering down James' neck now, and Kendall's vision turned red; he was marking that beautiful, tan, spotless column.

"Don't," James protested, but it was a soft protest.

"I thought you said you wanted an outlet. You know, because you can't tell your friends."

The guy's hand moved down.

"Hey!" Kendall yelled, because when it came down to it, his yelling voice was almost as good as his singing voice. He wasn't captain of the hockey team for no reason.

It had the desired effect; the guy jerked back, and Kendall saw it was a giant of a man, black stubble, beady grey eyes and dark blonde hair. Kendall could see where James might like the looks of this guy, but at the same time was repulsed.

"Get off him," Kendall said.

"James, what the hell is going on?" Logan asked, stunned. James didn't respond, lowered his eyes to stare at the ground. The mere gesture awoke every protective urge Kendall had; he surged forward and grabbed James' arm, dragging him away.

"Don't ever come near him again," he snarled. "Ever. Or I'm calling the cops. He's only sixteen, how old are you, you sick fuck?"

"He was the one who contacted me," the man said, shrugging. "Not the other way around."

"Don't worry, James. There are all sorts of child protection laws that guy just violated. We'll get him back. In fact, I'll go grab my textbook on youth protection and defense systems in the legal court right now."

"And I'll go get some chocolate milk," Carlos said decisively.

Kendall's stomach knotted and unknotted itself. James still hadn't said anything and hadn't made eye contact with any of them. He was sticking close to Kendall, despite Kendall having let his arm go over fifteen minutes ago. Kendall definitely wasn't used to this, this neediness that James was expressing in every movement.

"James?" he questioned softly.

"I'm going to the bathroom," James said. He walked away and shut the door to the bathroom quietly; Kendall shifted on the spot, unsure of what to do. He could hear Logan mumbling to himself and making notes, and Carlos attempting to make dinosaur chicken without blowing anything up. He was getting good at it.

Kendall sat blankly at the table for a good half hour before he realised he could hear muffled noises coming under the door. Logan had long since begun the science project, sending out a prickly aura at James not helping. It wasn't Logan's fault that that was his pet peeve; Kendall didn't blame him for being angry about doing the project alone. James had been putting it off for weeks now, and it was a big assignment.

He stood and headed to the bathroom door, knocking softly. The noises stopped and Kendall came to the realization that he had never seen James leave the bathroom.

"James?" he asked softly.

There was no answer.

Kendall opened the door and walked in, quickly closing it behind him, before anybody could see in, and locking it. He saw that James was resting in the corner made by the bath and the counter; with their ridged surfaces, he couldn't have been comfortable, sitting with his legs pulled to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. He didn't look at Kendall when he came in.

"It's me," Kendall said softly. "Kendall."

James didn't move, and Kendall knelt. Unsure of what to do now, he laid a hand gently on James' hair and stroked it softly. The strangled noises stopped, and Kendall felt like a huge burden had been released from his shoulders with the action. He was helping James feel better. If only a little.

James suddenly raised his head and wiped at his eyes; Kendall stayed where he was, stunned when he saw James' guyliner smeared. He had never seen his best friend and love interest look anything less than perfect. With it came a broken sort of beautiful. Kendall realised that it didn't matter whether James was bald or perfect looking – Kendall would always find him beautiful.

"Sorry," James whispered.

"What for?"

"That guy." He looked at Kendall and the tears had started again; Kendall kept palming his hair. "I called him. He slipped me his number a while ago and he seemed nice. I was just lonely, Kendall. You have Jo and Logan has Camille and Carlos has Stephanie. And I don't have anybody."

"I didn't know you were gay," Kendall blurted. "And me and Jo broke up a long time ago, remember?"

"I know." James' lips trembled in distress. "And I've been gay since I was fourteen. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Everyone's entitled to their secrets," Kendall said. He moved closer to James and raised a hand to his face gently, carefully, not wanting to scare him. James watched Kendall's eyes as Kendall gently wiped his eyes with his thumbs.

"You had it all over you."

"Thanks." James kept rubbing at his eyes.

"Did you want him to do that?" Kendall asked James softly.

"At first." James was looking more and more upset the more and more they spoke. "And then I changed my mind. But he wouldn't stop. And then you came." James looked at him with something almost akin to admiration in his eyes. "Thanks, Kendall."

"Carlos and Logan were freaking out," Kendall said. "Maybe you should-"

"I can't tell them! They'd hate me."

"I didn't," Kendall pointed out.

"You're Kendall," James said in a muffled voice. His head was back in his arms.

"Well, I'm not gonna force you. You know that." Kendall smiled at James, but it felt a little bit forced. An unhappy James was as out-of-the-ordinary as a slobby Logan. It didn't happen that often and when it did, it changed the dynamic between them drastically.

"On the other hand," Kendall said, "you should really come out."

"Why?" He saw James rub the side of his neck and his blood came to the surface and began to boil when he saw a dark purple hickey resided there. He pulled out a band aid and began to open it.

"Logan's working on that science assignment and he's freaking out. You know what he's like." Kendall peeled the paper off the band aid and smoothed it down over James' bruise, to save him the questions Logan and Carlos would undoubtedly have if he did. For just a second, he let his hand rest there. He was amazed by how pale his skin was in contrast with James' skin, and at the same time amazed by how much of James' neck his palm could cover.

"Kendall?" James asked him quietly.

"Sorry. If you don't want me to – well, I'd understand."

James shook his head. "I don't mind. It's not that. I just… never mind. I'm gonna go help Logan. Thanks, though, for cheering me up."

Kendall stood as James did. "I made you cry more," he pointed out, feeling wracked with guilt over it.

James shrugged. "I would have sat in here all night if you hadn't come in and got me," he said quietly. "So I guess I forgive you." James smiled at him, and Kendall felt a bit better now that the balance was shifted back to normal. He smiled back at James as he left the bathroom.

James quietly approached the table Logan was sitting at with his folder and pencil case and slid into a chair. Logan jumped, startled because James wasn't making nearly as much noise as he usually did. "Hey," he said.

"Hi." James smiled at him but Logan could tell he'd been crying. "Sorry, Logan."

"Don't worry about it," Logan said with a smile. James could have all sorts of psychological scars from tonight and he had no intention of making it worse. "Let's just get this done so we can watch the hockey game, yeah?"

James nodded and picked up the scissors. They worked in companionable silence, listening to Kendall and Carlos argue about whether Batman or Spiderman was better, with Kendall voting for Spiderman and Carlos voting for Batman.

"Why do they do that?" James asked suddenly.

"Do what?"

"Tack "man" onto the end of every superhero's name. I mean, how do the people in movies and TV even know it's a man? It could be a woman."

"Well, they don't, but we do because we're exposed to dramatic irony. We see them in costume and out, so we have the insight to know that they're men. I suppose."

"What's dramatic irony?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow," Logan said with a laugh, because if he kept talking it would lead into all sorts of other weird questions that only James was capable of thinking up. It was what he liked about James; talking with him always tested Logan's knowledge.

Half an hour later, James felt a pair of hands descend on his shoulders and turned to find Kendall standing behind him, peering over his shoulder. "Are you guys done?" he complained.

"I don't know. Logan, are we done?"

Logan was chewing the inside of his cheek as he cut a tiny sliver of cardboard off the project. "We are now!" he said proudly.

"Good!" Kendall said.

Logan stared at Kendall for a moment; he had never seen Kendall hold James' shoulders like that before, kneading them subtly through James' shirt. And, what was stranger, James didn't seem to find it weird at all.

Then again, Logan mused, it would make sense if James, in the aftermath of what had happened this afternoon, felt safe around Kendall. Kendall had been the one who had saved him, essentially, from the other man; now that he thought about it, James had been sticking pretty close to Kendall all night. It wasn't unusual for assault victims to suddenly glomp onto the person they thought most likely to defend them. Kendall was definitely that person. Of course Logan and Carlos would defend James as well, but of all of them, Kendall had the shortest temper and the biggest fists – especially when it came to his friends.

Still, Logan reflected, he had never seen Kendall look at James like that before.

A/N trying something a little different. This ISN'T established Kames – it's one of those how-they-got-together fics.

During this fic I was listening to "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant, "Teardrop" by Massive Attack and "Videotape" by Radiohead. They really set the mood :)

Reviews are love!