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Summary: What happens when Alice gets a vision of the Cullen's at the zoo? Well they go of course! However, what is Emmett doing in a Bear cage? Why has Rosalie the sudden need for Revenge? Can Jasper really steal a penguin? What are Carlisle and Esme doing in the Toilets? Edward's been a bad vampire. Though I feel sorry for little Renesemee, will she ever get that big cuddly toy? "The good news is we found your daughter, the bad news is Jake is stuck in the wolf cage" after Breaking Dawn.

A/N: My best friend and fellow Looney MyEternalLove and I, were having a conversation about Twilight –as always- and came up with this story, so we hope you enjoy it!

Chapter one: car ride

Alice POV

Nothing and I mean nothing was going to stop me today! I am an evil vampire pixie on a mission, and that mission is to go to the zoo. I call it operation cookie. I had already laid out everyone's clothing to suit my needs, and the ones in my vision.

I grinned at all of my family as they sat in the living room of our new home in London. Everyone was as still as can be, except little Nessie who was currently playing with her Barbie. She had grown so much in the past two years; she was now holding the body of a six year old. Perfect age for outings!

Edward raised his eye brow a tiny fraction and I could tell he was focusing in on my thoughts, so I started to sing Dora the explorer theme tune in Arabic. Ha! Try reading my thoughts now, bitch! I then turned my attention to Emmett who sat fidgeting -very unlike a vampire- because he was itching to try and beat Jasper at the Xbox.

Rosalie was staring into a car magazine, I'm sure if she had have been male she'd be drooling. Jasper as always was sending calming vibes across the room; they all really wanted to be in other places. Carlisle and Esme however were happy; I rolled my eyes I wonder why? I stated sarcastically to myself. Bella seemed to be very much zoned out, she was bored. Ok Alice time to get the show on the road!

"We're all going to the Zoo!" I bounced; I instantly had Nessie and Emmett's attention, although that wasn't hard. Every other family member huffed and went to leave the room "No, no stay where you are, we are going to the zoo, it's the perfect day trip for Nessie, its not going to rain today, AND I saw you all going too, so stop you're your whining and get your butts in the car" and with that I bounced all the way to my little Italian sports car.

With my super vampire senses I could hear everyone grumbling about having to go to the zoo, well all except the children –Emmett and Renesemee.

"We're all going on a summer holiday, no more working for a week or two." I heard Emmett's booming voice sing as Renesemee continued in her bell like voice "Fun and laughter on our summer holiday, no more worries for me or you, for a week or two." Hmm I was starting to get worried about her; she spends too much time with him. She might not like shopping when she's older if she keeps it up!

Knocking that crazy, absurd thought from my mind I looked over to see everyone piling into Emmett's jeep, well I guess I can live with that. Skipping over I plotted myself onto Jasper's lap, kissing his cheek as I did so. And we were off! Yay! I thought mentally clapping

"Alice you didn't just say 'yay' in your mind did you, and then go on to clap?" Edward asked with a hint of amusement in his voice as his lips twitched.

"Yes, yes I did!" I nodded

"Oh I see" his lips twitched as Jasper, my darling husband decided to hit him with 'happy pills'.

We were about halfway to the zoo when Emmett decided to lean out of the window and wave with both hands at people. I wouldn't have minded normally, just hidden in my seat. It was the fact he was driving that made me panic, we may not be able to get hurt, but we sure can hurt others with this monster jeep.

"WAOOOH! SWEET AND SOUR BITCHES!" Emmett cried out of the window. Rosalie grabbed the steering wheel as we swerved just missing the hard shoulder.

"EMMETT! You dufus get back in the car!" Jasper barked, trying to calm himself down.

"Aw man, you guys need to loosen up" Em sulked taking the next exit.

We continued to play sweet and sour on the drive to Howlett Zoo, only having to pull over once. Why you ask? Well let's start from the beginning…

Flash back –ten minutes after Emmett's outburst-

Blue flashing lights told us to pull over, so we did. We waited. When the police officer finally decided to show his funky butt, Emmett burst out laughing.

"Excuse me sir but I'm going to have to ask you to exit the vehicle, I have reason to suspect you of drinking while under the influence" barking out a laugh he got out, wobbling! The officer was about to arrest him for drink driving and he was wobbling!

"Yess, sssir" Emmett slurred using the car for support. I heard Jacob in the back groan in frustration at Emmett's stupidity.

"Please breath into this" he handed Em the breathalyser, to which I my stupid brother decided to let slip out of his hands and as he bent over to pick it up leaned on the officer and fell. Oh but not only did the stupid fool fall, but he landed on the officer!

We all groaned in unison this time, why hadn't I taken his idiocy into account?

"Hmm, I'm sorry sir but I'm going to have to take you into the station" he said pulling out a pair of hand cuffs.

Rosalie being the quick thinker she is jumped out and 'seduced' the poor un expecting man. Dear man looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. And with a little boost from Jasper we were on our way again. Except this time Edward was driving.

Esme had just finished scolding Emmett when we pulled into the car park.