The Music of My Heart Full Version, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the amazingness that is the Twilight Saga. So many props go the amazingness that is Stephenie Meyer. Also I do not own any of the music or lyrics to these songs. All the props go to the artists' themselves. They just help me to describe my vision for this story.

A/N: So this was a one-shot I came up with for the Cavities Contest being held on Fanfiction, several months back. Fingers crossed because in my opinion I have some pretty good stuff, and I hope you guys agree as you read it. It helps this story's experience if you listen to the songs at each point. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. (P.S. I did win this contest with this story)

This one shot takes place the day after Breaking Dawn ended. Finally being comfortable with Jacob having imprinted on Nessie, they allow him to babysit at the Cullen house just in case, while they go off to the meadow.

The Music of My Heart

Bella P.O.V.

After everything that had taken place yesterday and the days leading up to the almost fight with the Volturi, I needed some time alone with Edward. Now that I knew my daughter was safe, I could allow Jake to stay with her for a few hours. I'd make them stay at the main house however to be sure she has enough protection.

I desperately needed just time for Edward and I, and I knew the perfect place. I wanted to go to the meadow. It had become a place where we would go just to talk. We had all night to be together, and used the meadow to just stay in the comfort of being together, talking and just being able to unburden our heart to each other.

He had gone hunting this morning with Jasper and Emmett. He hadn't gone with just his brothers since we had gotten married. As much as the two of us loved being in each other's presence, we wanted to share each other with the family, so I had insisted that he go with them this morning.

Renesmee would be up in about an hour and Jake had gone home to sleep and spend time with his dad last night. So I sent him a text.

"Hey Jake, I know things were a bit rough the last few days. Edward and I have come to put trust in you in regards to our daughter's life. I was wondering if you would want to spend the day with her today. Edward and I need a few hours to just talk and I knew you might want a few hours to just spend with her. You can come up to the main house in about an hour if you like. We will be gone for a few hours and the others will be in and out throughout the day. I'd prefer keeping her close to the house just in case one of those creeps decided to try something to day. So what do you say, are you up for it?"

Less than a minute later, his reply came back saying,

"Really Bells? Thanks I would love to babysit. I'll be there."

I quickly called Alice and confirmed what time the guys would be done. I would meet Edward on their way back. She told me I would have time to get Renesmee up and to the house and meet him.

Nessie was soon up and I got her breakfast. Then I dressed her and we left for the main house.

When we walked through the door, we were both greeted with hugs from Alice, Rosalie, and Esme. Carlisle had decided to join the guys on their hunt this morning. I talked for a few minutes and headed out toward the pull of my heart.

I took my time walking through the forest. It was so funny how I once called this place too green. Now it was perfect. I had my wonderful husband and amazing daughter and couldn't wish for anything more.

I smelled his scent first before I could hear him, so I lowered my shield and thought, "Hey my love I wanted to find you. I want to just sit and be with you. I need you."

Almost immediately I could hear the rush of wind in the distance as he came running. When I saw him, I started running to him as well. When I saw his face, my stomach flipped. It was funny how even though we were married and had a daughter, his amazing smile still made me weak in the knees. Well not really because I was now a vampire, but it still created that butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach.

When he finally pulled back he said, "So to the Meadow I think?"

I smiled and nodded and we walked slowly hand and hand. Well slowly for vampires, but fast for humans. We soon arrived at the Meadow.

He sat down and pulled me into his lap. He then kissed my forehead and said, "Ahhh…. Bella it's as though you read my mind this time. I've missed this. Having the chance to be alone with you without complications being involved.

I rested my hands on his face, allowing him to see how I came up with the idea. It of course snapped back the minute he kissed my lips. It was ok.

Even though I knew he told me what was on his heart most of the time, I sometimes wished I could get a glimpse into his. I want to see how he really feels.

He then pulled back and of course he could see in my eyes that my thoughts were far away. Edward said, "Bella, my love, what is it?"

"Nothing", I replied.

He cocked his head to the side and said, "Bella I haven't been in love with you for all this time, with your silent mind, and not be able to read your face for the most part. Besides I thought this was the purpose behind this today. To be able talk and share our hearts with each other."

Then of course Edward pulled out the big guns by flashing that crooked smile that he knew now after me showing him yesterday would make me do or tell him anything. I sighed in surrender and said, "I was just thinking that it would be nice to get a chance to see inside your mind.

"I know you tell me often and I know you love me, but I wish you could share yours with me as well."

Edward was quiet a moment and then said, "I know that feeling all too well. You were silent to me for so long. I think though, there may be a way I can help you out a little. You know that sometimes I let music speak through me and my moods.

"I too shut music out of my life for a long time until you inspired your lullaby. And then after I left you for those miserable months, I didn't want to hear a single note or lyric. However once I came back, I recently heard a few, that might help describe some of them, we have experienced together.

"I know they don't even begin to dive into the depths of my feelings, but it will help you get just a small glimpse as you call it into my heart. I of course can't come up with a song for every moment, but I'll do some of the big ones. Then I'll try to give you a little bit about why I chose these. How does that sound. Do I get an A for effort?"

I smiled and leaned into his chest as I said, "You know I love it when you sing to me."

Edward then said, "Ok so here it goes. Song number one before I met you. Bella I've told you many times how dull my life was. I know you don't like to think about it, but sometimes if it would have been possible before I met you, I was just completely lost. All of my life was meaningless. I know Carlisle only did what he thought was best and what my mother had asked of him, but sometimes my life was just and never ending night. The song that comes to mind is:

"Never Ending Night"*1

Just a simple thought, cast into the light
Leads to such destruction - never ending night
In my blind obsession to avoid the fools I've seen
How could I not recognize the fool was always me?
As guilt rains down
And scars the faith of man
It flows into the ground
I will never wipe the bloodstains from my hands

This seed of hate was carried in my soul
Waiting for the moment when it could take control
Surely there is someone who'll reach out
Surely there is someone who'll reach out

A failing heart, vulnerable and weak
Waiting for the moment to beat the final beat

As guilt rains down
And scars the faith of man
It flows into the ground
I will never wipe the bloodstains from my hands

Is there someone who'll reach out?
Surely there is someone who'll reach out

So you see Bella before you entered my life, everything was just guilt. I had my music and journals but life never really held any meaning for me. Especially those years I left Carlisle and gave into my nature. Then just when I thought I would really go mad with only surviving, you came into my life and I was forever changed.

I placed my hand on his cheek, and let him read the thoughts I had.

"I know it was hard for you and even though I'm sad that you ever wanted to end your existence, I'm so glad it wasn't possible yet."

He kissed me and then Edward said, "Then you came into my life and everything changed. Once I had fought the monster inside me and came back, you intrigued me. That first day back in biology class. When Mike was talking to you and I decided that I didn't want to ignore you anymore and was starting to be drawn to more than just your blood. When we toughed for the first time it was like sparks. So that is my next song:

"Sparks"*2

Did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say,
You say, "Oh, sing one we know",
But I promise you this,
I'll always look out for you,
That's what I'll do.

I say "oh,"
I say "oh."

My heart is yours,
It's you that I hold on to,
That's what I do,
And I know I was wrong,
But I won't let you down,
(Oh yeah, yeah, yes I will)

I say "oh",
I cry "oh".

And I saw sparks,
Yeah I saw sparks,
And I saw sparks,
Yeah I saw sparks,
Sing it out.

La, la, la, la, oh
La, la, la, la, oh
La, la, la, la, oh

Bella never had I been as alive as I was when I started loving you. It was as though you brought life to me the day you entered in to my existence. Then the wreck and month I didn't talk to you not knowing what to do. But then came the very first night I snuck into your room. I saw you, with your hair spread across your pillow, and I knew I could never let you go. You were so gorgeous, then I heard the sound continued to steadily draw me in. You spoke my name, and I had to fight myself not to wake you and tell you right then and there. I wanted to tell you so many times that I loved you, but it would never come out right. I think this song might help us a bit:

"Hello"*3

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

"From that moment I knew my life would never again be the same and I had to have you in my life. To protect you and to take care of you always."

If it was possible, I would have been in tears. It was so beautiful having Edward share his thought with me.

So instead I just smiled and said, "I also started admitting to myself that I was in love with you after the first dream as well. I know that I'm not the greatest singer in the world, but I have a song that I'd like to share that goes well for me here. A song for me is when we got to the meadow, and you kept saying how you were thinking that at any moment it would be too much for me to handle. That at any moment I would run screaming for my life. For me this is the song that comes to mind.

"To Make You Feel My Love"*4

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love

He hugged me tighter and said, "Love that was beautiful. Are you sure you can't read my mind. That's what I was gonna use my song for the meadow as well." We laughed for a minute and the Edward said.

He then seemed to fight with something and said, "So I'm trying to keep this as positive as possible so I'm gonna skip right over the whole James fiasco. Then came the night I saw you come down the stairs for prom. If there is a song that possibly could come anywhere close to that feeling, would have to be:

"Everything I do, I do it for you"*5

Look into my eyes you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do I do it for you

Look into your heart you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do I do it for you

There's no love like your love
And no other could give more love
There's nowhere unless you're there
All the time all the way

Oh you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you Ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do I do it for you

We were both very quiet knowing what would follow that night. However we both needed to talk about it. We quickly made the other promise not to feel bad about the next song we gave.

Edward then said, this song was one of the toughest for me to come up with, but I did find one. It would have to be:

"Hate Me"*6

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

He was quite after he finished. I knew if it had been possible he would be in tears. He still hadn't fully forgiven himself for that mistake.

I had heard that song recently and wanted to cry if possible. I then cleared my throat and said "Well you know about my zombie days and there are actually two songs I can think of to touch the tip of the ice burg would be:

"My Immortal " *7

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

And the other that comes to me would have to be something like this:

"Almost Lover"*8

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Edward couldn't speak for a while. I saw the emotions struggling in his features. He then pulled me into his arms and just hugged me. It had been a hard time during those days, but I knew that we'd never have to face them again. He was here now and that was all that ever mattered. I needed to help him to let it go and see that I forgave him completely. So I opened my mind, and did just that. I knew that was the only way he would ever fully know that I did.

We both sat for a long while just hugging the other and rocking back and forth. Edward finally was able to pull out and the he said, "The whole time I was gone it was a constant battle not to return. I'd told you that I was at the end of trying to make it through and was about to return when I got the call from Rose. Bella I swear had I known that you were that bad off, I'd never have left. Then the ride home on the plane. I hoped you hadn't been gone to long and you'd moved on and only did it to save me. I guess the only song to help describe it would be:

"Lost"*9

I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying

Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the worlds crashing down
And you can not bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost

"I wasn't sure if you would ever forgive me, but deep down I hoped that everything wouldn't be lost."

I put my head against his shoulder and said, "Well then mine would be:

"Gravity"*10

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
[ Lyrics from: .com/lyrics/s/sara_ ]
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

CHORUS
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I
Can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah
You're onto me, onto me and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

"As we both know I was thinking you would leave again after the plane landed. So I wanted to stop my heart from wanting you again. Of course you didn't so."

Edward took a few deep breaths and said, "I guess to sum up the whole time leading up to the fight with the newborns and our engagement would be:

"I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder"*11

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

[Chorus:]
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive and not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

[Chorus]

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

[Chorus:]
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

The greatest fan of your life.
...greatest fan of your life.

I always wanted to be everything you ever wanted and needed."

I smiled and said, "You know that was always one of my absolute favorite songs of all time."

Edward smiled and said, "I thought it would be. I have a song that describes the wedding and the rest of our lives, but first I will say, this craziness of the last month I still don't have a song to describe the feelings I've gone through. I tell you what; it is a good thing Jasper wasn't here. We would have driven him mad with all of the worrying."

I smiled slightly. Now that it was all over and my family was safe, I could smile about it. I said, "I have one too."

Edward being the gentleman he is said, "Well the by all means you first."

I grinned and said, "I'd have to say that it would be:

"When I Look At You"*12

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights are so long

'cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

Yeah when my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me
All I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful
Yeah yeah

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

I look at you
Yeah
Whoa-oh
You appear just like a dream to me

"Having you in my life is just as the song says. Our life is never gonna be completely free of fear and hardship. Whether it is over Renesmee growing too fast, or having to someday let her go and be given to Jake in marriage. The Volturi coming back, or just whatever might come. I know that as long as I have you to turn to, it will all work out in the end. Cause a world without you is not my world."

Edward wanted to protest but he knew better at that moment not to say it. So he just sighed and said, "Well I think for me the one song that comes close to helping me describe what you are to me, would have to be:

"The Music of My Heart"*13

You'll never know
What you've done for me
What your faith in me
Has done for my soul...

You'll never know
The gift you've given me..
I'll carry it with me (yeah...yeah...)

Through the days ahead
I think of days before
You made me hope for something better (yes you did)
And made me reach for something more

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door
To something I've never known before
And your love...
(love)
Is the music of my heart.. (music of my heart)

You were the one
Always on my side (always on my side)
Always standing by (always standing by)
Seeing me through

You were the song that always made me sing
I'm singing this for you (singing this for you baby)

Everywhere I go
I think of where I've been (think of where I've been)
And of the one who knew me better
Than anyone ever will again

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door (you opened the door)
To something I've never known before...
And your love...(your love)
Is the music of my heart

What you taught me
Only your love could ever teach me
You got through when no one could reach me
Ohh...ohh...ohh

Cause you always saw in me
All the best that I could be
It was you who set me free...

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside (me inside)
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside (me inside)
Help me hear the music of my heart (music of my heart)
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door (opened the door)
To something I've never known before (never, never, felt before)
And your love...
Is the music of my heart..

Music of my heart
Music of my heart
Is the music of my heart...

"That song right there can only begin to help me put into words what you have done for me since the day you came into my existence. I guess Carlisle was right there is Heaven in the afterlife. It's just a little different for us. This is my heaven on earth and now we have our beautiful daughter added to our happiness. Just as you said, and I agree, our problems will never completely be gone, but together we are the Music to each other's soul and together we will make it through everything life wants to throw at us. I love you so much and this day is perfect."

I kissed him again and we got up and walked back to our baby girl. She of course was asleep by now and even though it was hours spent away, they were hours that Edward and I needed to reconnect with each other. Now we could both enjoy our night and life together.

One thing was for sure. Edward had sung it perfectly. They were the Music to My Heart. I couldn't wait to hear so many more songs to be added."

A/N: There you have it hope you enjoyed and like a said, give me a bit and add me as a favorite and to you alerts and you can be notified when the whole version is posted.

*A/N #2: So here are the songs I've chosen and some of them have several versions so I'm gonna give the ones I've picked.

*1 "Never Ending Night." By: Arena

*2. "Sparks" by: Coldplay

*3. "Hello" by: Lionel Richie

*4. "To Make You Feel My Love" by: Adele

*5. "Everything I Do, I Do it for You" by: Bryan Adams

*6. "Hate Me" by: Blue October (edited version) (also I didn't have this pick myself. I once herd Stephenie refer to the song and I couldn't find a better choice.)

*7. "My Immortal" Evanescence

*8. "Almost Lover" by: A Fine Frenzy

*9. "Lost" by: Michael Buble

*10. "Gravity" by: Sara Barellis

*11. "I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder" by: The Goo Goo Dolls

*12. "When I Look at You" by: Miley Cyrus

*13. "Music of My Heart" Nsync