A.N~ Okay I saw this prompt on Tumblr and HAD to write it! I've been on hiatus for too long and this idea just struck me with the writing bug again! Thank you to whomever said this would be a good pairing!
Disclaimer: I am not a law student so I apologize for my bad law jargon... and I haven't re-read this book in forever so I'm deeply sorry if I mess anything up! Also with the timeline of Legally blonde and Harry Potter, I understand that it doesn't exactly match up, but please just go with it honey!
Enjoy!
As Harry sat in the leather chair with chains, his heart rate quickened. Who was to defend him to the Ministry? Dumbledore? He hadn't heard from his headmaster all summer, and while he was the king of surprises, Dumbledore wasn't likely to show up now. Just then he heard it.
Click, clack, click, clack.
The sound of high heels hitting the stone floor of the corridor quickened as he heard a feminine voice cry out "Hey! Don't shut a door on a boy's legal defense!"
Harry turned from his seat to the large doorway, and saw a blonde woman determinedly running toward the slowly closing doors. He turned back to the Minister, hearing his groan and seeing his exaggerated eye roll. "Miss Elle Woods, you would do well to be on time!"
The girl called Elle stepped in front of him, her vibrant pink clothing making her look like a life-size business woman Barbie. A pink fedora with feathers was balanced atop a mane of blonde curls. Her dress was a crisp business suit, though it's professionalism was severely downgraded by the bright color that radiated from it. Her heels, which had drawn everyone's attention, were also pink, but the actual heel looked to be made of a miniature figure of the Statue of Liberty. Also pink. How this woman walked, let alone ran in those shoes puzzled and amazed Harry.
And above all else she was carrying a large, fluffy pink purse, that appeared to be wiggling from where it hung from her arm. As Harry stared, a chihuahua's head poked out, surprisingly not pink. The dog stared at Harry for a moment, then winked at him, a little twinkle in his eye, before sinking back into the recesses of the extravagant bag.
While Harry seemed transfixed by this feminine explosion, the Ministry seemed unimpressed. In fact, most of them seemed annoyed by her. Against the dark gloom of the chamber, the woman stuck out like a sore, pink thumb.
Harry glanced around the room, and saw another toadlike woman in a similar, though much more muted shade of pink. At first, Harry assumed they must be related, however, he couldn't help but notice the almost poisonous way the older woman glared at Elle. As if enraged by her mere appearance. However Elle just sent her a big smile and a small wave.
Harry liked this woman already.
"Miss Woods," Fudge began, looking at Elle with utter frustration as she stood before him. "You are representing Mr. Potter in this case?"
"Yes, your..." She started confident but trailed off, looking for a word. "I'm sorry, I always forget, do they call you 'Your Honor' in England? Or would it be 'Your Ministerness'?" She looked at Harry, as if asking if he knew.
The older shrewd woman in pink cleared her throat delicately and called out "Just Minister will do, Muggle."
Elle looked taken aback by this comment and squinted up at the toad-like woman, "What did you call me, ma'am?" She said, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
The older woman laughed girlishly, before beginning to speak to Elle like a matron to a petulant child. "A Muggle, dear. Clearly by your...attire, surely you are not a witch."
"I certainly am!" Elle laughed back, her voice bouncing off the wall as she dug into her purse before pulling out her wand. It sparkled in the light, an explosion of pink fuzz on the handle, and as it passed Harry's face, a waft of vanilla drifted toward him. "Illvermorny Class Of 2000 and Harvard Law School Class Of 2004!"
"You graduated from Illvermorny and Harvard Law?" Fudge inquired, looking at her with slight awe.
"What like it's hard?" She replied smirking at him and twired her wand in her blonde hair.
A murmur of interest buzzed around the room, but Elle stared at Umbridge, who sat resolutely silent. Though Harry could see her eyes get slightly wider from where he sat. Harry was impressed as well. Despite her bubbly appearance, this woman was wicked smart. Harry started to feel a flicker of hope in his chest as he stared at her.
Elle clapped her hands together, demanding attention, "However, Minister I am not here to discuss my heritage or my accomplishments. I am here to talk about my client, Mr. Harry Potter." She turned to him then, her gaze warm. "This boy has been brought before this council today because he used underage magic, is that correct?"
"Yes, Miss Woods-." Fudge began but Elle cut him off, pacing in front of Harry.
"And you all believe he is guilty?"
"Yes-."
"Well, I believe he is innocent and I'll prove it!" She declared dramatically, her fist raised in triumph. She cleared her throat, as if mocking Umbridge, before continuing. "I shall prove it the same way we do in a real court of law. I will present 2 witnesses, give a closing remark, and then we will send this boy on his merry way back to Hogwarts. Now, shall I proceed, Minister?"
Fudge sighed impatiently, however did not look surprised by her speech. "Very well, Miss Woods."
"Thank you. Prime Minister, my first witness." With a wave of her wand, a pink leather chair appeared, and sitting in it was Dudley Dursley, looking red-faced and confused.
Harry gaped at his cousin, shocked by his sudden and magical arrival. The council was also alarmed, some jumping from their seats at the sight of the Muggle boy.
"Where am I?!" Dudley spat, his piggy eyes darting around the room. At first they fell on Harry, and his fists balled in his hands, but then he spotted Elle. The beautiful woman smiled at him warmly, and Dudley's jaw nearly fell to his lap.
Harry distantly wondered if she was a Veela, with how easily she was able to charm the court and his cousin. Though he couldn't imagine what would happen if she started throwing fireballs at him.
"It's alright, Dudley! You're in court, but you are not in trouble." Elle said, calmly to the boy. "You just need to answer a few questions and then you will be set to go, alright?"
He looked up into her beamy face and nodded sluggishly, firmly entranced.
"Wonderful! Now, what happened the night those bad dementors tried to hurt you and your cousin, Harry?"
Dudley started to tremble slightly at the memory, but he slowly began, "Well, it was dark. And cold. And me and Harry were in a tunnel." He paused, sucking in a breath. "And then, we were getting attacked by these big, ghosts!"
A ripple of laughter echoed through the chamber as the council took in Dudley's explanation. Harry couldn't help but chuckle himself. Elle however, nodded seriously, as though she and Dudley were just having a one-on-one conversation. "I see. And, what did the ghosts do, Dudley?"
"Well," he began, his eyes fixed on his hands fidgeting in his lap. "One of them had me around the throat, and one had Harry. But I couldn't see! It was too dark. All I knew was that I felt like I was going to die. Like I would never see the sun again."
Elle nodded again, placing a comforting hand on Dudley's shoulder. "And then what happened, Dudley?"
"Harry..." Dudley looked at his cousin then, his eyes softening. "Harry saved me. He made this big moose thing appear, and it was blue and it scared the ghosts away. Then he carried me home."
Harry felt a warmth in his chest as Dudley spoke. He smiled at Dudley, happy to have a moment with him.
"He saved your life?" Elle clarified, smiling as the cousins shared a moment of fondness.
"Yeah. He was a good mate." Dudley smiled at Harry. "Thank you."
"I have no further questions for Dudley, Minister." Elle said, crossing in front of Harry to sit on a cushioned, pink chair of her own next to him. As she sat, Harry heard her whisper "Nailed it!"
"Mr. Dursley," Umbridge spoke from across the room. "You say your cousin saved you from these 'ghosts'?" She giggled to herself in rude mocking.
"Y-yes, ma'am." Dudley stuttered out looking up at her. "He and that moose thing did."
She laughed again, looking around at her fellows. "Well surely that is impossible. There is no way Mr. Potter can produce a full Patronus, he is far too young."
"Objection, Minister!" Elle called, standing. "There is no evidence proving he can't produce a Patronus!"
Fudge raised an eyebrow at her, "Is there any evidence he can, Miss Woods?"
"In fact, there is!" She smiled, "Your honor I present Exhibit A, evidence of Mr. Potter's Patronus."
She turned her bright blue eyes on Harry then, gesturing for him to stand. Harry smiled at her and stood, pulling his wand from his pocket. He squeezed his eyes shut, thinking of his happiest memory. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" He called out thrusting his wand toward the council, before his Stag, vibrantly blue, exploded from the end of his wand.
Everyone in the room gasped, including Dudley, but not Elle. She squeezed Harry's hand and smiled at him. "I knew you could do it." She whispered, eagerly.
When everyone settled back down, Umbridge pursed her lips, looking infuriated before spitting out, "No further questions."
"Thank you for stopping in, Dudley!" Elle called, waving her wand once more and then with a flash of pink, Dudley was gone. "For my next witness, I call Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore to the court."
When she waved her wand again a pink leather chair appeared, with no occupant. Elle reached into her purse and grabbed the small dog, before walking over to the chair and setting him down.
Before the courts eyes, the tiny canine transformed into the professor, who sat, legs crossed in the chair. He smiled up at Elle, and with a wink, said calmly "Good afternoon, Miss Woods."
A.N~ Wowza! Drop the Dumbledore bomb and then end the story there! I know I'm evil! I wasn't sure at first whether I should continue on, but I think it's good to leave this story here. If you would like me to continue on, I'd be THRILLED! Thank you for reading and feel free to leave me a review about your opinions on this, or maybe give me a prompt! And if you like this be sure to check me out! I've been gone for a while, but I'm comin back! Have a good morning/afternoon/night!