AN: I wrote another fic! Look! It's kinda different to Walking A Thin Line, but I hope you like it anyway. I'll be updating a little less regularly now, considering I am about to return to the hell that I call school, but I won't be abandoning either of my fics. And now that I've bored you all to tears, you can start reading the story.

"What are you doing back here," asked Marissa, not sure why she had approached Alex.

" Had some things to take care of," replied Alex, the warmth that she used to have when talking to Marissa now completely gone.

Marissa was surprised by the coldness of Alex's answer.

" And now you're leaving again?"

Alex nodded. " There's nothing here for me anymore."

" Alex…"

" I don't need to hear it, Marissa."

" But…."

" Can I ask you something?"

" Sure."

" Are you back with Ryan?"

Marissa nodded, not meeting Alex's eyes. Alex would never understand.

" Oh," replied Alex. " So, you know, did you ever have any feelings for me at all?" she asked in a casual tone, while both of them knew the question was anything but casual.

Marissa looked at the ground, finding that it was easier than meeting Alex's intense stare. She didn't know how to answer. She didn't want Alex thinking that she hadn't meant anything, but at the same time, she didn't want to bring those feelings up. She was with Ryan now. She could hardly go telling someone else that she loved them.

Alex took Marissa's prolonged silence and failure to meet her eyes to mean that she had felt nothing for her. She looked away, tears pricking her eyelids. She blinked them back, determined not to cry over this girl any more than she already had.

When Marissa finally looked up, Alex was gone. She wanted to run after her, tell her just how much she had meant to her, how much she still meant to her. But it was like she had become glued to this spot, staring out at the ocean.

Sometimes she hated the beach. It reminded her of Alex, and while that would have been a good thing, it now only served to remind her of how wrong she had gone with that relationship. She hated to be reminded of her failures. She didn't like to think of Alex that way, though. It wasn't her fault Marissa suddenly couldn't handle their relationship.

Instead she had gone back to Ryan, regretting it more and more every day. She had told Summer once that she missed him every day, but she was wrong. She didn't need him. If Summer asked her now if she missed Alex, her answer would be every minute. And she'd mean it.

The only reason she was with Ryan was to take her mind off Alex. He was an easy choice. It saved her from becoming involved with someone new. But it didn't stop her from thinking about Alex, like she had intended it to. She kept persisting with the relationship, though, hoping that eventually it wouldn't be Alex staring back at her every time she closed her eyes.

Being with Ryan stopped people from thinking that she was missing Alex. It allowed people to say that it was just a phase. She allowed people to say it was just a phase. Only because it made all of her feelings easier to deal with. Phases had to end sometime, right?

Then Alex was just there and she realised she was fooling herself. She'd know it all along, but what that meeting had done was to make the thought louder, clearer. If it was just a whisper at first, it was now screaming in her head. She let the screaming continue.

"Sorry if I hurt you." It kept repeating in her head. She wanted to say it again, only this time without the if. She knew she had hurt Alex. She may have been able to stop herself from crying earlier, but Marissa had caught the pain in her eyes. She wanted to tell her she was sorry, beg for forgiveness. Start over. Only she didn't.

Alex hadn't been able to stay there any longer. Marissa's lack of words just then had hurt her more than any words had ever done. She felt used. In a different way than she had felt with Jodie. That was just her body. It was nothing compared to her feelings. She didn't understand. She probably never would.

She wanted to scream at Marissa about how it was wrong. About how people shouldn't be allowed to treat other people that way. She didn't, and she knew why. Marissa not feeling the same way didn't lessen her own feelings. Now they were just wrapped up with other emotions, just as intense, but in a different way. They were never supposed to be negative.

She had wanted to Marissa to come after her, all the while knowing she wouldn't. It hurt. It stung that all the people who had told her Marissa and Ryan should have been together were right. She had to get out of here. It wasn't doing her any good, being here. She was supposed to be getting over her, not thinking about her every minute of every day. She knew she was wasting her time, because she'd never be over her. Even if she had never felt anything for her.

She had lied, at the bonfire. She didn't have anywhere to go. The thought of her parents accepting her back was laughable. Marissa wouldn't know that, though, because she hadn't taken her time to ask. She'd been moving around a lot over the last couple of months. The feeling of restlessness wouldn't leave her.

She turned away from the beach, walking slowly towards her car. It was time for her to get over this, at least to the point where she felt normal again. Where she didn't keep choking on her words because she was thinking about her. Time for a new start.

Ryan sometimes asked Marissa is she was okay. Her response was the same every time: " I'm fine." In her head, the only thought lately, aside from Alex, was that she was not okay. She was nowhere near okay. Ryan had always been oblivious to her feelings, she realised. She was drinking more than ever now; only she was taking more care to hide it than she had done before.

Summer saw that something was wrong, but she didn't connect it to Alex. Marissa looked happy with Ryan. Only Summer wasn't looking closely enough. The fake smiles, the forced laughs. The constant look of discomfort shining through her eyes. It wasn't that Summer was a bad friend, it was just, she was preoccupied.

Sometimes Marissa worried, that Ryan had to realise when she was looking at him, she was thinking about Alex. When she was kissing him, it was Alex's lips she felt pressed against her own. That their relationship was all in his head, and in her head, was an entirely different one.

Then she realised. He'd never notice. He had what he wanted, why should it matter what she wanted? That's the way it was with him, and in a way, made it easier to be with him. Until he told her that he loved her, and she was forced to look away, replacing his image with Alex, before she could say it back.

Then she felt like she was betraying Alex, because she had never told her, not even once. She wanted to, but she couldn't. Just like earlier today, when she found herself rooted to the spot when all she wanted to do was to run after Alex. Do something about her feelings, for once. But instead, she made do. She made do with a lie.