I decided to make this a stand-alone oneshot. It didn't seem to fit in with the fluffy moments in my other story!
What we didn't seen in 5.17. This is sad. But that's the kind of mood this latest episode has put me in.
Xoxoxoxo
"Please, no." He could barely get the words to pass through his lips and his voice sounded weak and hoarse to his own ears. He felt pathetic; helpless as the love of his life turned her back on him. He watched her walk away. He watched her place her hand gently on his chest, watched her drape her body around him, watched her press her lips against his mouth.
And that's when the tears came. Big droplets of salty water pouring silently down his cheeks. He turned away. Walking down the hallway to his old room, he barely registered the muffled voices of the party guests. The big bed in his old room looked so soft. He couldn't resist the comfort and so he lay down on top of the fluffy comforter. He pressed his face into one of the oversized pillows and sobbed. The sounds ripped through his entire body and his frame shook from the force. He was breaking. No, he was already broken.
Chuck Bass didn't cry. And yet, here he lay, in his teenage bedroom, sobbing. He wept for the future he could never have. He wept for his lost chances at happiness. He wept for his foolishness for ever letting her go, for letting her say yes to Louis when, at that moment, she had clearly wanted him. Foolish.
He squeezed his eyes shut, but he could still see Blair's mouth dancing with his. Those perfect lips that he knew so well, and could almost feel even now. He knew he would most likely never feel those soft lips again. He would never get to run his hand over her beautiful frame. He would never get to hold her in his arms or whisper soothing or loving words into her ear. That was his job now.
And then the anger came. It flooded his senses and muddied all other emotions. He was furious. How could she so easily choose him? Hadn't she just said, mere weeks ago, that she loved him more and more every day? That she would always love him? Were those words meaningless to her? Whispered in haste or frantically in the moment? Could she really change her mind so fast? Was their love nothing special in her mind? Easily cast away.
The tears wouldn't slow, but the noisy sobs seemed to dissipate the longer he lay on the bed. This was good. He could rearrange his face, put the mask back on. Nobody would ever know. Nobody would care. Blair didn't care. Blair didn't love him anymore, and that's the only thing that mattered.
He heard a knock at the door and sat up immediately afraid that someone would catch him in this vulnerable state. A blond head of hair peaked around the edge of the door.
"Chuck?" Serena called softly. She paused at the door as she became aware of the crumpled body on the bed. He turned his head to look at her, but he didn't say anything. He didn't even attempt to hide the wetness on his cheeks.
"Oh Chuck," she whispered. She sat down on the bed next to him. They didn't say anything to each other. Words were inadequate at this point. She simply sat with him and gave him company.
Time passed. And Serena shifted slightly.
"I need to get back to my mom," she said. She leaned towards him, pressing her lips softly to his cheek.
"I love you Chuck," she said. "I know it's not enough," she paused, "I know it's Blair's love you want." He remained silent, but turned his head to look at her, acknowledging her words. "I'll always be here for you."
He couldn't fake a smile, but he was warmed by her words. Maybe there were other people who loved him. Maybe he could move on. Even if the pain pierced him along the way.