Title: Rei's Moment
Author: Knife Hand
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated, flames unappreciated
Spoilers: 5th Angel.
Rating: MA
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva. I would buy Rei but I am broke.
Summary: Rei's POV during Ramiel's (5th Angel) Attack.
" " denotes speech, ' ' denotes thought.
The pain envelops me, even through the shield. I was told it would last eighteen seconds, but it never stopped the pain. As the shield starts to dissolve around me, I refuse to stand aside. I was told it was my job to protect him, but something else holds me there, in the burning agony, placing his life above my own. Maybe it was his eyes the first time we met, feeling my pain as his own. Maybe that he blushed at my apartment, or maybe it was just that he cared.
The last of the shield evaporates and the pain and pressure of the onslaught increase. Every fibre in my body feels like it is doused in acid, but I push back against the pressure and pain even as I feel my armour melt. Something almost imperceptible passes me and the pressure fades. The excruciating pain remains but does not increase. I hear some incomprehensible noises and then feel a sensation at my back. Everything goes dark as the plug is removed.
The darkness and pain surround me and time slips away, a second or an hour could have passed and then I hear something. The hatch of the plug busts open, momentarily blinding me. For a moment I think the silhouetted figure is the elder, but it is Him. He is calling my name, so I lift my head. A feeling wells up inside me. He is alive. He is unharmed yet he is crying. Why is he crying? He tells me not to do 'that'. After a moment of confusion I realise he is crying for me. He cares about me? The feeling inside me swells. He tells me not to say goodbye. It is sad? Why? He must live, that was the mission; that was what I wanted.
Only he and the elder have ever cared about me, and the elder treats me like a tool. I don't know how to express my feelings, how do I convey the warmth I feel in my heart, rather than the painful heat in my flesh. I'm confused and I let him know. Smiling? He is smiling and he wants me to smile? You smile when you are happy. Could this be happiness? Slowly I smile, and his eyes shine. Yes, I think this is happiness.
He reaches in and helps me out of the plug. Pain lances through me, but he holds me and his touch helps to sooth my aches. We walk away from the ruin of my plug and, despite all my pain, I have never felt so good.