i want you to want me
i need you to need me
i'd love you to love me...
"I dunno, it looks a little… frou-frou, you know?"
"Why don't you just come out here and let us have a look, okay?"
Four sets of eyes snapped wide when Leo O'Reilly stepped hesitantly out of the bedroom in Guinan's quarters.
"Oh. My. Gods." Deanna stammered. "Turn around, will you?"
As she did a slow pirouette Leo continued to express doubts. "But I'm not sure it's me, you know? I don't do white, ever." While her "bridal planning committee" had joked that her aversion to white was because of its representation of virginity in her former time and home, Leo knew it was because she was convinced she'd spill something on it. So much space to display mistakes… white was definitely not her chosen color for clothing, on any occasion.
"Leo I am telling you, android or not his circuits will fry when he sees you in that dress." Beverly's statement was definitive, and Keiko and Deanna nodded firmly in agreement. As usual Guinan's was the quieter voice of reason.
"Data wants very much to take part in the human ritual and tradition of marriage, and white is part of that even in the 24th century. Come on, Leo, after all you've gone through to prove he deserves to have what he wants, wearing a little white won't kill you."
With a sigh Leo looked down at herself, at her friends, and finally at the mirror that Guinan had replicated to hang on the wall. It was a beautiful dress, and not completely white or even completely traditional. The entire deeply cut bodice was sapphire blue silk velvet, bound with crisscrossed gold cord. Only the skirt and sleeves were white, fashioned of silk that draped like a dream. But it felt so…frou-frou. Not her style at all. Then again, Leo reminded herself, it was also so hand-made. Deanna's mother Lwaxana, being the eternal romantic, had directed Mr. Homn to make a dress fit for such a singular occasion, and no replicated fashions would do.
"My god, Deanna," she'd said when Troi had told her of her mother's plans, "your mother doesn't even know me!"
"But she does know Data," Deanna had explained, "and believe me, nothing in her life has triggered her inclination for romantic drama as much as what she's heard about the two of you. I didn't plan it this way, but you have to understand mother is a force to be reckoned with once she's made up her mind. And she is so looking forward to meeting you, she told me that yours must be quite a mind to read for all its history and experience."
Leo had shuddered at the suggestion. "Not sure I'm ready for that, but I guess if she's your mother her intentions are nothing but good. Okay, tell her I said thank you and I'll have a look at the design when she's finished it."
And when the holographic representation had been presented to her, Leo had to admit that it was anything but her worst fears of traditional bridal wear. In fact it looked like her mind had been read already. Perhaps Lwaxana had absorbed Deanna's by now firmly established impressions of her. In any case, she'd communicated her approval via Deanna, and the dress had arrived by Andorian transport this morning. It was all her friends could do to keep themselves from dragging her from the ready room to try it on the moment it had been delivered.
And now, well, it might take a little getting used to she supposed. Leo did like to dress up on occasion but tended more toward simply tailored stuff, classic elegance they used to call it in her time. Of course the rich softness of the velvet, warmed by her body temperature, would attract Data's hands like a magnet. She certainly could live with that.
After a final turn Leo announced, "Okay, okay, it's just right. And the blue will go nicely with Data's waistcoat." She'd insisted he for the wedding he wear the same tuxedo he'd worn the night he proposed to her in Ten Forward. The Fred Astaire Deluxe, she'd christened it. And, of course, now that she thought of it she'd been pretty unreasonable to issue orders regarding his attire when she'd been entirely pigheaded about her own. Leo knew full well that Data willingly gratified most any of her requests as if they were captain's orders, and she was occasionally shameless in using that knowledge.
"Deanna, tell your mother and her Mr. Homn I said thank you, it means so much that it didn't come out of a beeping sparkling machine!"
Deanna stifled a shudder of her own. "I'm afraid you'll be able to thank them yourself, she's insisted on attending the wedding."
"Hey, the more the merrier. Now if you don't mind I'm gonna change back into my real-life clothes. I have to go see Geordi about something."
"So where is it?"
If Geordi had been prepared to be quizzed on the "guy stuff" details of the upcoming wedding, he was unprepared for what Leo really was looking for. "The emotion chip? I installed it, like you asked, when I repaired Data after the crash. He didn't want me to activate it, but it's already there."
Leo grumbled in frustration. "Well that sure blows my plans out of the water. Or space, if you prefer."
"Why don't you tell me what you were hoping to do, and maybe we can figure something out." She'd been very secretive, insisting on meeting Geordi alone and in his quarters.
"Okay, but you gotta promise not to breathe a word, not anybody. Not even to Worf." Who, she knew, would keep a secret beyond the most extreme torture imaginable. Geordi crisscrossed an index finger across his chest in melodramatic fashion, and waited. "You remember our conversation before you fixed Data, right? When I said I was tired of being selfish and wanted Data to have a chance at what he'd wanted for so long."
Geordi managed to disguise a smile and deadpanned, "How could I forget that? It was a historic moment." He recoiled as Leo whacked him on the arm. "Ow! You really have to learn to stop striking superior officers."
Rolled eyes was her response before continuing, "Data's made it clear to me that he doesn't want the chip activated until he's certain I'm ready to accept it as a plus rather than a risk. I understand that, and I even agree, but at the same time I'm thinking here we are doing the deed, the whole traditional ritual, and he won't be able to fully appreciate it."
"Oh I think he has a firm grasp of the occasion," Geordi was shaking his head knowingly.
"Uh-uh, that's not it. I mean, you know there'll be our crewmates all worked up, dry eyes at a premium, don't try to deny it, okay? You've all put out so much to make this happen, I don't believe for a minute that even smartass Will won't feel a twinge." Geordi began to nod, admitting she was right. "But Data… he'll just be a witness. To that part, I mean. Whenever he's told me he wishes he could feel for me what he knows I feel for him I've said 'that's okay, I'll feel it for both of us'. But I'm beginning to realize that's just not possible. What we're going to do, get married, by the captain who he's served with for so long, in front of all of our friends and colleagues and everyone he knows has invested so much in this, he'll just be a witness, do you understand what I mean? No matter how many analogs we've discovered between us, there's just no analog for what I'll be feeling, what everyone will be feeling, when we finally get to say 'I do'. "
It was evident to Geordi that this wasn't just a passing concern for Leo. She was, obviously, deeply disturbed by the knowledge that Data would be unable to share in the emotional aspect of their wedding. "I get what you're saying. For him to miss the biggest part of the day just isn't right. But if he's set on waiting to engage the chip, and you agree it's a good idea, what do you think can be done about it?"
"Well I was thinking that maybe we could switch it on, just for the day, right? And then if we both still think it's a good idea, turn it off and hold it in stasis until we're both ready for it to be permanent. I just hate to think of Data being cheated out of something that's such an essential reason for the whole official ritualized affair. We could go on living together forever and it wouldn't change a thing, but wanting to do this, especially after how he proposed to me…" She trailed off, out of explanations and hoping that Geordi would understand. Somehow she wasn't surprised when he laid a hand on hers and squeezed.
"From the night Data introduced us at the Academy I've known that you were it for him. No matter what kind of ritual or acknowledgment came from anywhere else, I knew that you were gonna be part of his life, period. And I couldn't agree more, that having him be the only one in our whole crazy circle who's left out of the 'payoff' is just not right. Maybe I can talk to Data, if you think you can't convince him." Leo's smile became conspiratorial.
"Well, engineering guru, I was thinking more that you could engineer it as a surprise… a sort of remote control switch-on, with a timing device or something, and then of course at some future date to be turned on again. You know, when we're ready for it to be permanent."
Geordi began to shake his head, naaahh, couldn't happen, but then the concept intrigued him. Circuits could be tripped by remote energy signatures… and timing could certainly be programmed at the same time. A smile crept across his features.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're a dangerous woman?"
Warmed by the knowledge she'd gained a co-conspirator, Leo raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Why Commander, whatever do you mean?"