"Good Morning"
by TehFuzzyPenguin
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy still belongs to Shonda and ABC.
It was morning in the Shepherd household, which inevitably included breakfast, Mark, and a level of pessimism. Addison and Derek sat across from each other, the latter with red-rimmed eyes of fatigue and an angry cloud looming over his face. Mark occupied the side of the table between them.
"How were the woods, then?" Mark asked with false cheer. Derek glared at him.
"A bear got his food," Addison answered, her eyes tracing down New York Times.
"A bear got your food?" Mark's voice perked up with amusement.
"A bear got my food," Derek growled.
Addison flipped a page and reached for her orange juice. "Now he's going to tell you the myriad of ways," she paused to drink and swallow, "that he could've prevented that."
Derek glared at her, and said, "I was seriously about one hundred feet away, and I watched, like in slow motion, as a gigantic bear took down my bearbag" (Mark asked, "a bearbag?" and Addison mimed hoisting a trashbag full of food up in a tree) "and ate everything in it."
"Dude, don't try to wrestle one of those things," Mark warned. "Even if he did steal your food. I was watching the Discovery Channel yesterday, a bear ripped a man in half or something."
"I did that," Addison said, reaching out for her bagel, which Mark, by rote, passed into her hand.
"You ripped a man in half?" Mark asked.
Addison smiled around her mouthful of bagel, chewed, and swallowed. "That, too," she said, "But I meant, I watched the Discovery Channel yesterday, and you mean sharks, Mark."
"I do not," Mark said indignantly.
"He does," Addison directed at Derek. "A bear would not have ripped you in half, why didn't you just yell and clap your hands?" Derek palmed his face, as though this thought had occurred to him before, but only after the bear had absconded with his food.
Mark whined, "I do not mean sharks, Addi!"
Addison finally looked up, and pinned Mark with her glare. "Yes, you do," she said, and turned her gaze to Derek, "Go take another shower and sleep off your brawny man anger."
Grumbling, Derek got up from the table and stumbled back upstairs. Mark eyed his barely touched breakfast. "For a guy who hasn't eaten in four days," he said, "he isn't very hungry."
"He made me drive out there with granola and Cinnabons and iodine tablets. It was..." Addison shuddered. "Wretched. At least Thoreau had the decency to live near town."
"He brought his cell phone?" Mark asked.
Addison said, "He beamed his bat signal at the house."
Mark didn't answer that. He took the Arts section and started skimming for pretty people. A few minutes later, he said casually, "I talked to Cary. She did sleep with Daniel."
"So did I," Addison said boredly, turning to the last page of the paper.
Mark asked, incredulous, "You slept with Daniel?"
"God, no. He slept with Cary. I talked to her, though."
"I thought you hated her."
"I like to remind myself of that every once in a while," Addison replied flippantly. She folded her paper. "I'm finished. You?"
Mark thumped his section down. "Done."
Addison grabbed a pen and wrote on the top of the paper, Mark's giving me a ride, stop worrying, and he means sharks.
Mark took the pen out of her hands and wrote, underneath, No I don't.
Yes he does
No I don't
Yes
No
The note ended with a mad scribbling as they both fought for the pen, until finally, Mark broke the ink tube. "There," he said satisfactorily. He laid the leaking pen gingerly on the paper and stepped back. "Come on, let's go."
Addison rolled her eyes and followed him out.
----
They arrived at the hospital in their usual bickering mood, having stopped for coffee on the way.
"You didn't have to do exact change," Addison was saying as they walked through the automatic doors. "You have a credit card for a reason."
"Yeah, but I hate change." Mark swiped his card and let both of them into the locker room. "It's so...jangly."
"Please don't start," Addison said. "Cary uses 'jangly.'"
"But I'm not Cary."
Addison gave him a once-over as they changed into their scrubs. "Don't think I don't appreciate that."
"So?"
"So stop using her words." They stepped out of the locker room. Mark smiled charmingly at a passing nurse. "And stop acting so scandalous."
"I can't help it," Mark said, still smiling. "I'm a scandalous person."
"Who's scandalous?" Erin asked. She was the cardiology resident at the hospital, and a friend of Addison's. They walked to the elevators together. "Where's Derek?"
Addison answered, "Cary. And, bears."
"Oh." Erin smirked and said in a scandalous voice, "What're Derek and Cary doing with a bear?" She stepped onto the elevator and waited for the rest of them to file on. Addison inspected her reflection in the door. Was it the hospital light that made her look like a zombie, or was it just her?
Mark laughed. "Multiple bears," he corrected.
Addison frowned. "I meant, Cary is scandalous, and bears stole Derek's food on his camping trip and almost ripped him in half."
"Erin, you were always my favorite," Mark said, as Erin grinned widely.
"I know. But you can't get ripped in half by bears, I saw it on the Discovery Channel. You mean sharks."
Mark groaned. "Oh, don't do this to me, E," he whined.
"He does mean sharks," Addison said.
Erin felt a little left out. "I feel a little left out," she said.
"Derek was telling Mark this morning about his bear thing, and Mark insists that bears can rip you in half."
"You mean sharks," Erin repeated, this time to Mark.
"So I've been told," he said sulkily.
The elevator dinged, and the three filed out. And stopped short. "Wait," Erin said. "What floor are we on?"
"Damn." Addison took a huge gulp of coffee. "I need more of this. Mark?"
"No idea."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"It means I have no idea!"
"What do you mean?" Addison asked. Her tone changed slightly.
Mark sighed. "Sharks," he said resignedly.
"There we go. Okay, let's get back on the elevator." Erin pressed the button.
The doors opened several seconds later to reveal their perky blonde attending. "Morning!" she said excitedly.
"Good morning," they all muttered.
"Oh come on, perk up, rounds are soon," she insisted. "I went for a run today, and I feel great! Carpe diem!" They shuffled on as she bounced out.
"I did that one time," Erin said darkly.
"You carpe diem-ed?" Mark asked.
"I went running. Didn't seize the day, but I did almost get attacked by a squirrel."
Addison nodded sagely. "That's why I don't run."
"Good idea," Erin said. The elevator dinged again. "Hold up." She looked at the threshold. "Third floor."
"That's right," Addison said.
"I'm off," Mark said.
"Good morning to you all," Erin called out in farewell.
Addison raised her hand in acknowledgment. "Sharks, Mark," she said, and turned left.
"I know, I know," Mark mumbled, and turned right.
A few seconds later, they crossed paths again.
"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd," said Mark.
Addison said, "My patient's on this side."
-end-
Yes. Quirky like I like 'em. I don't know if sharks can tear you in half, but I do know that Shark Week is the awesomest thing in the world next to Planet Earth, so... Erin is my OC from One Thousand Words. She's Addison's friend from college, and a little like Izzie without the compulsions. Cary's another OC. No one likes Cary.
Please review!