Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: This story was a collaboration with KathleenPatricia.
A Really Bad Harry Potter Fanfiction Take II: Mud Volleyball
It was a cloudy/rainy day. A perfect day for mud volleyball. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw have already been eliminated. Only Slytherin and Gryffindor remain, in a final epic conflict to rock the ages. Ready on position, Gryffindor serves the volleyball. Rain pours down, glistening on the chest of the ever-delicious Draco Malfoy. The ball sails over the net, only to be deflected by the mysterious and aloof Blaise Zabini. Distracted for a moment too long by the half-naked Draco, Hermione and Ginny leap for the ball in the same instant, colliding and sliding mysteriously straight into the legs of their object of affection. Draco collapses atop the two girls, unable to keep his balance. (In the distance a faint cry of what could have been an enraged Pansy Parkinson is silenced as a rampaging pterodactyl swoops from the sky and snatches up the unfortunate Slytherin girl.) Time seems to slow as Draco, rising gloriously from the mud, tosses his hair to the side, water droplets glistening in the air. Unable to the control their Draco-lust any longer, every heterosexual woman on the field leaps in to action (except for poor Pansy, who is being forced into a shotgun marriage with the pterodactyl) pinning Draco to the muddy earth, thoroughly molesting him. Ron Weasley, overcome with jealousy, performs an extraordinary feat of magic and repels the sex-hungry fiends from Draco, the focus of his late-night sexual fantasies. Looking into the red-haired wizards eyes, Draco stands once more and begins, strangely, to sing: "I'm, too sexy for my shorts, too sexy for my shorts…" The blonde's thumbs hook in the waistband of his trunks and slowly begin to pull downwards…
Warning: Too Sexy For Human Eyes
screen fades to black
