AN: Hiiii. So, I wrote this like freshman year or something (that was like 3 years ago) so don't hate me if it sucks. Back then, I only shipped Sirimus, and I shipped it hardcore.
Anyways, enjoy!
Chapter 1: If You Could Have One Wish…
"All right. Remus, your turn," James said as he sat back down on the floor of the 4th year boys' dormitory.
"Truth," Remus said, deciding to play it safe. After all, they already knew he was a werewolf, they already knew he was gay, what else was there to hide?
"Hmm," James tapped his chin dramatically while thought. "All right, here's an interesting one. If you could have one wish, any wish that was guaranteed to come true, what would it be?"
Remus rolled his eyes as he thought about the question from way back when. Two years had passed since they had played that game of truth or dare. Back then, his answer would have been simple. And it had been simple. Remus had merely shrugged and said that he'd wish to not be a gay werewolf. He hadn't even had to think about it- after all, taking away the two things that made him an outcast would make his life a lot easier. He had to admit, being gay didn't really matter, but why not just make himself completely normal? But a lot had changed in two years.
For one thing, the Marauders had found out that Sirius Black was not, although it may seem like he was, straight. Well, that's not true, Remus amended. Sirius Black just wasn't completely straight. After all, he was the Hogwarts heartthrob. How could he not use the fact that girls were falling over for him to his advantage? That was probably the worst part. Sirius knew he was handsome. And he didn't let it go to waste. However, he had used it much more than any of the Marauders could have expected.
One day, during Christmas Break of their 5th year, Remus had been wandering around the corridors. He had been passing a broom closet when he heard noises from inside. Remus stopped and felt the Marauder side of him rising to the surface. He'd cast a quick Disillusionment Charm on himself and moved to the other side of the corridor. He'd pointed his wand at the door, which flew open. An incredibly handsome boy had tumbled out and landed on his back with another boy, slightly less handsome, landing on top of him. Both of them had had ruffled hair and rumpled shirts. The lesser handsome of the two had even managed to unbutton a few of the other boy's top buttons. The two had started laughing. Remus had been shocked to find two boys tumble out of the closet- literally. Then Remus had taken a better look. His eyes had nearly popped out of his head as he realized the incredibly handsome boy was none other than Sirius.
Remus had backed quietly down the next corridor, removing the charm once he was out of sight. He'd sunk down to the floor, leaning against the wall, with his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees. He'd been so confused. Part of him was ecstatic to find out that Sirius Black wasn't just interested in girls. Another part of him was terribly jealous to find that the boy Sirius had been snogging hadn't been him. Remus had known since 3rd year he was gay. He'd known because he'd had a crush on Sirius. And in the two years that had passed, he still had a crush on Sirius.
Thankfully, all four Marauders were staying at Hogwarts that Christmas. Remus had told James and Peter what he saw, and all three had confronted Sirius the second he'd set foot in their dorms. When they told him what Remus had seen, Sirius had just thrown back his head and barked in laughter.
"Well of course," he had said, with wide and (deceivingly) innocent eyes that barely hid his laughter. "You can't expect me to discriminate against the fine gentlemen of Hogwarts, can you?" And, still laughing, he had casually walked to the bathroom to take a shower before bed.
Remus smiled slightly to himself as he remembered the nonchalant way Sirius had accepted that they knew he was bisexual. The biggest problem about Sirius knowing he was so bloody gorgeous and bisexual was that basically everyone was falling over him, and he would snog anything with a pair of legs. He could get anyone he wanted, and he did. So why would he ever want Remus?
Suddenly, Remus felt an arm being thrown over his shoulders, and he was brought out of his memories with a bump. Remus didn't even need to turn to know who had assaulted his personal space. His racing pulse, the intoxicating cologne he could smell, the muscles he could feel of the arm slung over his shoulders, and the fact that it was his personal space that had been assaulted said it all.
"Hello, Padfoot," Remus turned to Sirius with a smile.
"Hey, Moony! Watcha thinking about?"
"Who says I was thinking about anything?" Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Well," Sirius began without hesitating, "when you think you completely zone out the rest of the world. I'd been trying to talk to you for five minutes before you finally snapped out of it. Also, you run your fingers through your hair when whatever you're thinking about bothers you. It's really adorable, actually."
Remus just rolled his eyes. "I was thinking about that game of truth or dare we played in Fourth Year," Remus answered Sirius' question. "Specifically that question James asked me. You remember which one?"
Sirius nodded. "You said you'd wish to not, er, have your furry little problem right off the bat. You didn't even have to think about it. So why are you thinking about it now?"
Remus just sighed. "I'm wondering if I made the right wish is all. I think if you asked me that question today, I'd wish to not have met you," Remus joked.
"But, Moony, think about what that would do! There'd be no one for me to swoon over," he pretended to faint dramatically into Remus' arms as he spoke. "Would you really change it, though?" Sirius asked, now genuinely curious.
"I dunno," Remus shrugged. "What would you wish for?"
"A different family," Sirius said immediately. "I'd wish for a family like the Potters. A family that wasn't bigoted and prejudiced with superiority-complexes. I'd wish for a family that didn't make me afraid of myself, afraid of what I might become if I'm not careful. A family that doesn't make me hate who I am and were I come from. I'd wish to not be a Black."
Remus could feel his heart melting. Sirius never opened like that. Not even to James. He pulled Sirius into a bone-crushing hug.
"I wouldn't have you any other way, Padfoot," Remus said, face buried in Sirius' neck. Sirius hugged him back tightly. Remus, realizing that this hug was lasting much longer than what was considered okay for 'just friends,' let go and blushed.
"Thanks, Moony," Sirius said seriously (Remus cringed at the old, over-used joke). "That means a lot to me."
The two made their way back to the common room to get ready for bed. As Remus climbed into bed and pulled the scarlet curtains that hung around his bed shut, he considered Sirius' question. Would I really change it?
Remus sighed to himself. Yes, he would change it. He would have changed 5th year- especially the Incident. He'd forgiven Sirius, after months of the black-haired boy being shunned from the Marauders. He almost wished he hadn't forgiven Sirius. But he knew that Sirius knew what he'd done was wrong, and had been truly sorry. Sirius had stopped eating, stopped going to Quidditch practice, stopped being mischievous, and had thrown himself into his studies. Every night when the four boys would go to sleep, Sirius would apologize to Remus, Remus would ignore him, and then Remus would fall asleep to the sounds of Sirius crying himself to sleep. Sirius had just stopped being Sirius, and it killed Remus.
The part that had hurt the most was that Sirius didn't even stop to think about what it might do to Remus. All four Marauders loved each other more than the world, but the Incident made Remus wonder if Sirius loved him at all, whether platonically or not. He'd wish for Sirius to love him. He knew it was petty, but he couldn't help himself.
Remus sighed again and rolled over in bed. He fell into a uneasy sleep filled with nightmares of howling wolves, pale heads curtained with greasy hair and terror on their faces, and Sirius' look of pain as he realized what he had done. He woke up to hear his curtains being pulled open, and felt his bed dip at the foot where a body sat down.