Ice: You should expect this crap from me by now.
-Sigh- I hope PhoenixClaw got bit by a shark on his vacation…
Characters © Masashi Kishimoto
Story © Me
Everything Else © Their owners
Sometimes, Pein just wanted to hide in a cave. Right now would be a terrific example. Exactly at this moment, he and Tobi were asked to bring back some Cheese-itz, and, even though they explained the Cheese-Itz were out, and Pein had explained that over and over again, but she still wasn't buying it.
So basically, he and Tobi were so fucked right now.
"I SAID I WANTED CHEEZ-ITZ!" Blue hurled the bag of Cheetos across the room, and then threw a large lamp at Tobi's head, who whimpered, moving his eye over to Pein. He was crouched down in a corner.
"CAN'T YOU GET ONE FRICKIN' THING RIGHT?! GAWD, I ASK CLEARLY FOR CHEEZ ITZ, AND I GET SOME GODDAMN CHEETOS!" She clocked a book at Pein's head. He rubbed the sore spot on the top of his head, grimacing at her. There were also disadvantages to being her lover. Right now was one. And every month was another.
Also, the question 'Do these pants make my butt look big' was another one, but that's not really important right now.
"We've already explained that they were out!" Tobi said, whining softly as he did.
"THEN GO TO ANOTHER GODDAMN STORE! I'VE GOT GALLONS AND GALLONS OF BLOOD SPEWING FORTH FROM MY VAGINA, AND ALL YOU SAY IS THEY WERE OUT? GAWD!" She threw another lamp at Pein, who dodged it by covering his face with his hands.
"Eww, Blue! Don't tell us, I've already got night terrors as it is!" Pein shouted, much to her dismay. Her usually pale face turned red with anger.
"I HOPE YOU GET SOME GODDAMN NIGHT TERRORS, YOU BASTARD! I'VE ON MY FUCKING PERIOD, BLOOD SPEWING FORTH LIKE A RED AND BROWN RIVER, AND YOU ONLY HAVE 'NIGHT TERRORS'! WELL, IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GETTING ANY FOR A MONTH, FORGET IT!" She threw a plush pillow at Tobi, who was getting really, really scared.
"Please Blue, we didn't mean it…" She threw another pillow at him, hair frazzled, flower falling out of her hair.
"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT," She said mockingly, "THEN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE BROUGHT BACK SOME CHEETOS INSTEAD OF CHEESE-ITZ, HMM? HMM?!" Tobi stayed silent. Blue was about to actually attack them, but was stopped by Pein with a rude comment, and one that will cause his imminent death.
"EWWwww! Don't touch us, Blue! We'll catch your period!" She turned around very slowly on her heel, looking at him in the eye.
'Aw crap. Nice going Pein.' He thought to himself, looking over at Tobi, shrugging, who was snickering at his comment. Her fist clenched as she gripped on to her kunai, throwing it at him, missing him by a hair.
"YOU GODDAMN DESERVE IT! MY STOMACH FEELS LIKE IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND YOU'RE JUST BEING A USUAL JACKASS! I'VE GOT CRAMPS IN EVERY PART OF MY BODY, EVEN IN MY GODDAMN SPLEEN AND YOU MAKE SOME PRACTIACAL JOKE THAT EVERY FEMALE HAS TO GO THROUGH? ROT IN HELL YOU BASTARD!" Pein took his turn whimpering. Why couldn't it have been Hidan who had to deal with this?
"Please Blue, please…" Tobi begged, trying to find the best solution for this problem.
"FINE. I'LL GIVE YOU ONE CHANCE TO REDEEM YOUSELVES! GO GET ME SOME CHEESE-ITZ! IF YOU COME BACK EMPTY-HANDED, YOU'LL BE SORRY!" They clumsily got up, and sprinted out the door.
And then, they never ever, ever denied her Cheese-Itz ever again.
-Fin