Have some MayorQueen I wrote a while back while I try and rewrite a story I never finished.
She cannot bring herself to sleep.
The loud crack of thunder and the intermittent sudden flashes startling her awake every so often. Thus she chooses not to sleep, instead enjoying the heavy rain and the violent wind that howls and crashes against her bedroom window. The night is gloomy and the air feels sour, reflecting perfectly Regina's mood… It's her first night alone ever since she's come back from New York with Emma and Henry in tow. Her first night alone since she's ripped out a part of herself she'd never lived without before. Her first night alone ever since Robin passed and Roland went away.
It feels strange, almost empty.
It makes Regina sigh. She misses the pitter-patter of the toddler, especially on nights like this, when he'd be so scared he'd climb in between his father and her, but most of all she misses her soulmate. Misses the way he held her close, misses the way he used to utter nonsense into her ear as they fell asleep, misses the warmth of his body next to hers. She misses him and it kills her.
A lone tear rolls down her cheek.
She bats at it as vehemently as she can and then she burrows even more into the duvet she's settled into. She still cannot find the sweet embrace of Morpheus, but she hopes that having the bed covers tuck under her chin, the thermostat at 78,8° and her eyes scrunched shut will help in anyway.
It doesn't, of course it doesn't, but she still tries.
She tries, because it's the only thing she can do. It's the only thing she has left. She doesn't want to be awake anymore. Not when her thoughts thread back to a blue-eyed outlaw and his dimples, or to the way those dimples faded as his smile was replaced by a sad grimace and a dejected look in his light eyes. She doesn't want to think of him. But everything here brings back memories of him.
She tries not to cry. There's no time for tears.
Frustrated she jerks up and throws the covers as far from her body as she can. She'll come to term with his death right this instant, she decides. No more tears. No more sadness. No more wishing he hadn't sacrificed himself. No more. Regina gets up, walks towards her wardrobe and removes her pajamas in favor of a dark pair of pants and a deep red tank top. If she's going to stop wallowing over her lover's death she has to go to him. It takes her roughly twenty minutes to walk down the cemetery's path.
She's reluctant, and yet, she needs this over with.
She has more urgent matters to deal with than the loss of yet another love of hers.
-/-
She's not alone, the Queen notices the form of her lesser self crouched down by Robin's grave. It's a forlorn sight to see. All this despair and sadness exuding from a single person is simply breathtaking. She pities Regina and yet, she cannot help but understand her pain all too well.
It reminds her of Daniel, of the grief it caused her.
In the shadows of her mausoleum the Queen sighs, for as much as she enjoys seeing her other self suffer, she hates to bear witness to this poorly executed attempt at being brave and strong, even if there isn't anyone she has to prove herself to.
For a moment, she considers leaving.
For a moment she thinks she may be intruding on someone's pain she has no right to. But as much as Regina loved Robin, the Queen did too. And this pain, this pain that brought Regina into the cold and unforgiving downpour, is as much her own as it is Regina's, and they will share it like they shared so many other forms of misery. Thus the Queen starts prowling the cemetery's ground in direction of her twin, seeking to offer comfort to her fragile and grieving self.
"Hush now, Regina."
It's as soft as the murmur of the wind on a calm summer night, and yet the woman a few paces away startles in fear. As she slowly turns in the direction of the speaker Regina's eyes widen slightly and she gets up with a start.
"How…?" She shakes her head incredulously. "This cannot be… You're… you're… dead."
The Queen smiles.
"You shouldn't be here." Regina snaps. "You have no right being here!"
"Don't I? This is as much your pain as it is mine. I'm here to mend our broken heart." The Evil Queen says, her tone still soft and carefully even.
"No… I- You…" Regina's words fail her and she is left gasping for air as she tries so adamantly to find something other to utter than nonsensical sentences.
The Queen chooses that particular moment to approach her lesser half, taking her hands slowly into her own.
"I'm not here to fight you Regina. Not tonight."
Regina's gaze locked with the Queen's for the first time ever since she'd made herself known. Tear stained eyes boring into dark chocolate ones, Regina's gaze holding so much uncertainty and mistrust.
"Why?" she murmured into the space left between the both of them.
"We've known too much hurt in our life. It is due time that you have someone be there to wipe your eyes when heartbreak strikes," said the Queen as she closed the distance between herself and her smaller twin, embracing her in a comforting manner. "Hush now, little one."
-/-
The absurdity of the situation was almost too much to bear, and yet, being encased in the Queen's arms so protectively, made Regina feel safe. It made her want to stop pretending to be strong. It made her want to crumble and cry and finally grieve like she should have done from the start.
Taking a hold of the Queen's waist, Regina held on tighter. "How do I move on from this?" she mumbled, her face almost crushed in the fabric of the Queen's shoulder.
Her Majesty huffed as her slim fingers started threading into Regina's hair lightly.
"As you usually do, my dear." She said. "We've been through tougher times, you know it only gets worse. So you must soldier on."
Regina's humorless chuckle came almost immediately.
"I am not you anymore. It won't work."
"So it would seem…" was the Queen's reply.
Her finger still loosely made their way into Regina's hair and as she looked ahead, the Queen basked in the newly established silence. Its only disturbance being the soft sobs that escaped her small half's lips. As the smaller woman's tears dampened the front of the Queen's attires, she gave their embrace a small squeeze of reassurance.
"You cry then…" she whispered.
Regina's head turned to look once more into her eyes, her own filled with unshed tears. The Queen couldn't help but press the hand she had in the woman's hair to her soft reddened cheek, swiping her thumb across her cheekbone tenderly.
"Really?" Came the sad and empty response.
A nod was the only answer given, and just like that Regina was bearing her heart to her other evil half, wet chuckles filling the air as she crumbled unto the wet grass near Robin's tomb. The Queen following her in her descent to the ground and never letting go of her.
In her other half's embrace, Regina held on, finally grieving for her lost love. It felt good, it felt healthy. She buried her face into the Queen's chest, holding on tighter as sobs wracked her body violently. She could feel her regal self's heartbeat through the layers of fabric and somewhat it soothed her. Being held and finally cared for, made her feel at ease. The steady hand now stroking patterns on her nape helped her through the wailing cries of agony she let out.
And soon enough, she had cried all the tears she could muster, her body giving way to exhaustion. She looked up one last time at her most despicable self, red rimmed eyes almost closing on their own and a tired smile peeking through.
"Thank you." She murmured, her head coming back to the Queen's chest.
The Queen smiled tenderly at her lesser self, watching her slowly succumb to slumber. She transported them both back into Regina's bedroom, quickly switching her sleeping self's outwear for her usual gray satin pajamas and placing her in bed once more.
As Regina fell into Morpheus' arms, the Queen sweetly swiped a stray tear away from Regina's cheek.
"Remember darling, if you need to cry, I'll be here to wipe your eyes." She whispered in the silent room, before once again disappearing in a cloud of smoke, leaving Regina to wonder the next morning, if all the night's events had been but a twisted dream.