To Kill, or Not To Kill
A Walking Dead Fanfiction by Sassy Lil Scorpio
Summary: "I want to hear from each of you why you think Shane should live. Or why you think he should die." Rick calls a meeting to decide Shane's fate after he's caught trying to kill Randall. The jury: Rick, Lori, T-Dog, Daryl, Carol, Dale, Andrea, Glenn, Maggie, Hershel, Patricia, Jimmy. The defendant awaiting his sentence: Shane. {Companion piece to "The Right Choice"} {One-Shot} {AU}
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Rick, Shane, Lori, Andrea, Dale, and all other characters mentioned in this fanfiction are the property of Robert Kirkman. This author makes no claim of ownership. No monetary gain is being made from this work.
Thank You: Thank you to my boyfriend, Robert, for encouraging me to write my fanfiction. Thank you to my friend, Rapscallion, for your sharing your thoughts on Daryl.
Author's Notes: This fanfiction is a companion piece to my other story The Right Choice. It can be read as a stand-alone and still be enjoyed and understood. However, it does coincide with the other story in that it takes place between two chapters, and briefly overlaps into another chapter of that story. This fic is like a "missing scene". Originally, I wanted the voting scene to be a mystery, only revealed in tidbits by the characters in The Right Choice. After I finished writing and posting that fic, I kept imagining what happened during that voting scene and why each character voted as they did. This fanfiction is the finished result.
Dedication: This fanfiction is dedicated to my friend, invisibletragedies. Thank you for being a fellow "ShaneFan" or "ShaneBrain". It's amazing that our fascination for this particular character has opened the doors to an awesome friendship where we can discuss anything: writing, fanfiction, Shane Walsh (can't forget to mention him!), and all sorts of life experiences ranging from faith to relationships. Looking forward to many more awesome discussions with you!
oOo
"Many that live deserve death.
And some that die deserve life.
Can you give it to them?
Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement."
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
oOo
They all stood in Hershel's dining room, waiting for Rick to return after Lori told them to meet here. No one said a word. No one looked at each other. They had been waiting there for ten minutes with cold silence filling the room. Every now and then, the silence was punctuated by the sound of someone sniffling, but aside from that, it was devoid of any human interaction.
Moments later, Rick entered the dining room, followed by Daryl and T-Dog. Daryl and T-Dog remained standing near Rick, showing their alliance with him. Everyone looked expectantly at him. Maggie stood with Glenn. Carol stood in the corner by herself. She nodded at Daryl, acknowledging him, and he did likewise. Hershel stood next to Patricia. Jimmy was on the other side of her and offered her a tissue. Patricia took it, mumbled "thanks" and then pulled out a seat to sit down. She almost stumbled and Hershel gently helped her to sit down comfortably. Everyone knew the reason why she was crying, although no one spoke about it. Anything to do with Otis always brought a visible wave of grief from Patricia and they gave her space to express her sadness. Dale and Andrea stood together. Lori came over to where Rick and hugged him close to her.
"Give us a few minutes," Rick told the group. He was relieved when they nodded in unison.
He stepped out of the room and into the hallway, bringing Lori with him.
"Is everything okay, Rick?" Lori asked.
"Yes, it is…I'm gonna explain."
"Is this about Shane?" She stared at the ground when she said his name now. She still couldn't face Rick, after what she had revealed to him about the affair.
"Who else would it be about?" Rick didn't mean for his tone to be icy.
Lori didn't answer. Rick had told her briefly what happened and mentioned in passing about his plans for Shane. He planned to go into full detail about it with the entire group.
"Where's Carl?"
Lori looked at him now. "He's sitting with Beth, watching over her, keeping her safe..."
"Good, he doesn't need to be here for this discussion. I'll explain to him later and he can go visit Shane if he wants. Or you can tell him. Either way, he has to know what's goin' on."
Lori shook her head in disagreement. "No, Rick. I don't think—"
"He needs to say his final good-byes," Rick said. His tone was adamant and Lori knew to drop the subject. "Let's go back in. I don't want to spend more time on this than necessary."
Rick returned to the dining room with Lori.
Daryl and T-Dog looked at Rick, expecting him to begin discussing what they had done to Shane, or rather, what Shane had attempted to do and how they stopped him in time. Rick sent them a knowing glance and stepped forward. Facing the group, he started explaining what transpired in the past hour.
"I'm gonna start at the beginnin'. Hold off your questions until I explain everything. There will be plenty of time to discuss what's gonna happen, and that's why I brought you all here…to get your opinions, thoughts, viewpoints…" Rick's voice trailed off as he observed everyone.
They stared back at him, waiting to hear him out.
"Not an hour ago…Shane snuck into the barn to kill Randall. This isn't the first time he's tried to kill him. He's not allowed to be involved in anything regarding the kid. He knows because I told him so. I was makin' plans with T-Dog and Daryl to drop off Randall when we noticed he was heading to the barn."
Rick allowed that information to sink in. He noticed Glenn's eyes flit from him to Daryl and T-Dog, and back to Rick again. It was as though Glenn was unsure about what Rick was stating. Rick made a mental note to check in with Glenn before the meeting was over.
"To make a long story short—we stopped him. Or rather, Daryl and T-Dog stopped him just in time. There was a scuffle, but we got him under control now. No one was harmed."
Andrea stared at him in a manner that communicated she didn't approve what they had done to Shane, although she didn't know all the details yet. She was practically glaring at Rick. Rather than avoid her, Rick acknowledged her.
"Speak your mind, Andrea."
"Where is he?"
Rick heard the defiant tone in her question, but chose to ignore it. "He's in the barn, knocked out and tied up."
Someone gasped in shock and Rick wasn't sure who it was. It wasn't Andrea. It sounded like Carol.
"You knocked him out and tied him up—and you have the nerve to say 'no one was harmed'?!"
"Let him finish, Andrea," Dale said, gently squeezing her shoulder.
Andrea swatted his hand away. "Don't start, Dale." She turned to Rick again. "You're keeping him prisoner?"
"Yes, we're keeping him prisoner. He won't be a danger to himself or anyone else on this farm," Rick said, firmly. "He's not getting away so that he can start more trouble. After we make our decision, Daryl, T-Dog, and myself will go back to him. By then, he'll be awake and we'll explain to him what's gonna happen."
"What do you mean 'what's gonna happen'?" This time it was Glenn who aimed the question at Rick. "That's the second time you've said that."
"That's why I called you all here. So we can decide as a group on what to do about Shane."
Rick scanned their faces. Carol's eyebrows creased together, she was worried and speechless of how to respond to what Rick was telling the group. Maggie looked doubtful. Glenn refused to look at Rick. Hershel and Patricia waited to hear what he would say. Lori squeezed his hand, reassuring him that she supported whatever decision he made. Rick thought Dale appeared more curious and Andrea was angry. He knew Daryl and T-Dog fully backed him up and that they were already in agreement for Rick's plan. He had discussed it with them on the way to Hershel's home. Now he just had to get everyone else on board. Just to be fair, he would ask them to share their thoughts, so that the entire group made the decision.
"Where's Randall?" Jimmy asked.
"We moved him to the shed before returnin' here. We'll drop him off another time. First thing's first: we're makin' a decision today. Right here and right now. No one can abstain from participatin'." Rick met everyone's eyes when he said "no one." He needed to be clear that everyone was to give their input. "We're takin' a vote."
"A vote on what?" Maggie asked. She folded her arms across her chest.
"To execute Shane."
Everyone grew quiet when they realized why they had been called here. It was to make a decision about someone's life. And this time, it wasn't about Randall Culver.
It was about Shane Walsh, the former leader of the Atlanta group.
"I want to hear from each of you why you think Shane should live. Or why you think he should die."
Rick waited. No one stepped up to begin the morbid conversation, so he decided to start.
"Shane should die." His voice didn't waver. He kept going, in spite of the fact that Andrea looked like she'd shoot him on the spot. "He's dangerous. He tried to kill Randall—"
"He was shooting at you, Rick!" Glenn said, exasperated. His calm exterior had shed itself and now he openly expressed his frustration. "Randall is not innocent and you know that!"
"He tried to kill Randall," Rick continued, ignoring Glenn's protest. "He killed Otis." He paused when he heard Patricia sobbing. Glancing in her direction, he saw Hershel sit next to her and put his arm around her to comfort her. While that happened, Rick thought he heard someone draw in their breath sharply. He looked at the group and saw the shock painted on their faces. Heads shook in disbelief, eyes widened, jaws dropped…
"Shane wouldn't do that," Andrea muttered under her breath. Then she spoke louder. "He didn't do that."
"But he did," Lori responded. "Dale told me his suspicions."
Andrea whipped around to face Dale. "Where do you get off saying things like Shane killed Otis?! You weren't there that night! You don't know what happened!"
Before Dale could answer, Rick stopped them. "I spoke to him about it already. It was to survive. I understand that, but as I told the group before: we don't kill the living."
"But we kill those who kill to show that killing is wrong?!" Andrea argued back.
"Killing Otis was cold-blooded," Lori said, defending Rick. "It didn't have to happen."
"Do me a favor and go wash your dirty dishes, Lori," Andrea said, rolling her eyes. "You know nothing about survival."
Lori opened her mouth to react when Rick stopped her. "I need everyone to settle down. Speak one at a time. And there will be no insults slung at each other," he directed this order at Andrea. "Can we agree to that?"
Everyone nodded except Andrea. "Can't promise you that."
"Then you'll go last and at that time, you can defend Shane as much as you want."
Andrea walked to the back of the dining room, separating herself from everyone. Rick watched her and when she made a gesture for him to continue (although there was obviously anger behind it), he started again. Patricia continued to sob in the background, oblivious to the spat that had just occurred.
"Shane is dangerous. We all know this and we've seen it. He killed Otis—out of survival or not, he still took a life. He busted open the barn against Hershel's wishes."
Maggie nodded in agreement. "You know Beth is still upset with what he did. She won't even come out of bed."
Rick turned to her.
Hershel spoke in a low voice. "They were walkers, but they were still our family…" His voice trailed off and now he seemed uncertain. "I don't know, Rick…he was right…they were rotting corpses."
"DAD!" Maggie shouted in disbelief at what her father just said. "Those were our family and friends in there!"
Hershel looked at her and then focused his attention on Patricia. He sighed heavily, but remained silent.
"That's enough reason to show that Shane was wrong for what he did," Rick said.
"What else do you have on his rap sheet?" Andrea asked. Her question was drenched in sarcasm.
"The CDC." Lori said, sending daggers in Andrea's direction.
"What about it?"
"He tried to…" Lori stopped. "He was drunk and he….he tried to force himself on me." She stared at the floor, refusing to look at everyone.
Rick's fists clenched and he felt himself shaking as he tried to contain his fury from what Lori had just revealed. He heard loud gasps of shock and surprise from around the room—it sounded like a mix of everyone's reactions, and yet he couldn't look at any of them for fear of what he would see in their eyes. Judgment. Anger. Fear. Hatred.
He hadn't known this before and of course Shane hadn't said anything about it. But Lori…what else was Lori keeping from him? First, she revealed that she had slept with Shane when she thought Rick was dead. Then she was pregnant and the baby might be Shane's and not Rick's. And now this incident at the CDC…?
"I don't believe you." Andrea shook her head.
"Then don't," Lori shot back. "I don't need you to believe me. I know what happened."
"If he really tried to rape you, then why did you want him to stay around? We've all seen the little games that you and Shane play. He didn't do it by himself."
Lori was speechless as she stared at Andrea, tears flowing down her face. "Go to hell, Andrea."
"You first." Andrea gestured to Lori, inviting her to step up.
Silence filled the room as everyone glanced from Lori to Andrea.
"It's still wrong," T-Dog said, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't specify what the "it" in his last statement meant, although Rick was certain he referred to what Lori had revealed. "This isn't the same Shane who got us together as a group at Atlanta. Back then, he kept us safe, he led us before you showed up, Rick. He's changed." He looked bewildered as though he was trying to figure out what had happened that made Shane change so drastically. "I don't know why…but he has."
"The Otis thing...it always got on my last nerve that he brought back Otis' gun, but no Otis…" Daryl paused when he saw Patricia crying harder. "I'm sorry. Not meanin' to make this worse than what it is. That CDC thing though…" he shook his head. "I can't defend that."
"And no one should," Lori said, glancing in Andrea's direction.
Andrea looked the other way, purposely ignoring her.
"Alright, so there's a lot stacked against him," Rick said. "The barn, Otis' murder, the CDC thing…" He wanted to add that he felt furious at Shane for sleeping with Lori, but that was his own personal reason for being angry at him. He didn't need that brought into the mix.
"Haven't we all been in his place?" Glenn asked. "I know I have."
"How so?" Dale responded. It was the second time he had said anything during the meeting.
"When we were at the bar…" He looked at Maggie. "Remember what I told you?"
Maggie nodded. "Tell them what you told me. Don't be afraid." She hugged Glenn close to her and released him.
Everyone looked at Glenn now.
"I thought of myself that night. I froze…I couldn't do anything to help." Glenn sighed when he thought about it. "But Hershel…he—you saved me." He finished just as Hershel looked at him.
"You didn't leave us behind, Glenn," Hershel reassured him.
"But I was afraid to die…because of Maggie," Glenn said, forcing the words out.
"What's wrong with that?" Carol asked. "You thought of someone you care about."
"I couldn't act, Carol! I was scared shitless—I'm just saying maybe Shane was afraid that night he went to get the supplies. Andrea's right, we don't know what happened that night. He never spoke about it."
"Maybe he was afraid, but that doesn't change the fact that he walked out alive and Otis didn't," Hershel said.
"I guess so," Glenn mumbled. He took a seat at the table and played with the tablecloth between his fingers, refusing to look at anyone.
"And you know I don't hold it against you that I was there for you that night. I know you would be there for me and my family," Hershel said.
Glenn didn't look at him, although he nodded to acknowledge that he had heard Hershel.
"Maybe he thought of someone he cared about, too," Andrea threw in. "Rick, wasn't he there to get the supplies for your son?"
"He was," Rick agreed.
"So isn't it possible that he didn't kill Otis out of cold blood, but that he wanted to get the supplies back to help Carl? Maybe he was in a situation whether it was him or Otis, and he felt he had no choice. He was probably swarmed by walkers."
Rick was amazed that she had accurately stated the scenario and he wondered if Shane had confided in Andrea what had really happened that night. He remembered when Shane told him: "One of us wasn't gonna make it out. It had to be him. One shot to the leg, Carl lives."
"Shane's little advocate," Lori mused under her breath.
Rick caught it and he didn't think Andrea did. He looked up and saw the hateful glare she sent his wife and he immediately knew Andrea had heard every word.
"If you must know, I used to be a civil rights lawyer. So yes, I know how to be a 'little advocate'. That's more than you can say. What were you before society broke down? A drippy little housewife who had some extra play on the side?"
Enraged and taken back, Lori was about to react to Andrea, when Carol stepped in to the surprise of everyone in the room.
"Can you both stop it? If you both want to fight, then go outside and settle your differences. I'm sick of hearing you both snap at each other!"
Everyone stared at Carol, shocked that she had interrupted the bickering between both women. Carol was usually timid and uncertain of herself. Hearing her speak now was like hearing a different woman altogether. She noticed everyone was focused on her. Rather than revel in the attention, Carol retreated back to the corner of the room where she had been standing alone the entire time.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm just tired of all this. We're supposed to be deciding about Shane and all you two keep doing is biting each other's heads off. It's ridiculous."
"Well, I can see that being Shane's reason about Otis," T-Dog said, following Carol's lead in getting everyone back on track again. "I'm sorry, Patricia," he quickly added when he heard her crying. "I just…well, we don't know what we'd do if we were in his position."
"Doesn't change the fact that he killed someone we love," Maggie shot back.
"Or that he lied about it," Hershel said.
"He wasn't always like this," T-Dog pleaded, repeating what he said earlier.
"But he's like that now an' we have to be in the here an' now," Daryl said.
Rick was silent as he listened to everyone hash out Shane's character: the man they thought he was versus the man he had become. At least, in their eyes. Rick still wanted to love Shane as his best friend and brother, but it was becoming harder to do so, the more Shane's behavior spiraled downward to the extent that he came off as threatening and dangerous.
"I don't know who he was before this, but I don't feel safe around him," Jimmy said, "not after what he did to Otis or to the barn."
"What about what happened when you first went to drop off Randall?" Daryl asked. "You said he threw a wrench at you."
Rick nodded. "I threw the first punch after he said I couldn't keep Lori and Carl safe…" His voice trailed off as he remembered the fight between him and Shane. It was vicious and both men ended up bruised and bloody. It was a miracle they both walked out alive.
"How do you know he won't do it again?" Daryl pressed.
"Oh, he would," Dale said. "In fact, that wasn't the first time."
"What the hell does that mean?!" Daryl was confused now. He glanced at T-Dog who shrugged, completely clueless about what Dale was talking about.
"What are you talkin' about?" Rick asked, afraid to find out the answer to his question.
"Back when we were at the camp…he had you in his sights, Rick. He aimed a gun at you and you didn't see it because your back was turned."
Rick felt like had swallowed a large rock. His throat closed up and he was unable to think clearly. He heard them talking around him, their voices rising and falling as they argued. His mind was elsewhere, imaging himself in the forest—and Shane holding a gun at him without him even knowing it. What Dale had revealed made him sick to his stomach…He couldn't believe that Shane—his best friend, his brother, his police partner—had aimed a gun at him behind his back.
"When did that happen, Dale? Are you making stuff up again, just like you did about the Otis situation?" Andrea asked, her tone accusing. "Because if it is, our friendship is over."
"You need to listen, Andrea, you don't know Shane as well as you think you do."
Everyone now watched in shocked silence as Dale and Andrea argued. Andrea stayed in the corner while Dale remained at the table, facing her, and not backing down.
"I can't stand the way you and everyone here are talking about Shane–and he's not here to defend himself!" She pointed at Dale and then at everyone else.
"There's nothing to defend, Andrea," Dale pleaded. "Shane isn't—"
"ENOUGH!" Rick shouted as he pounded the table with his fist.
Dale jolted when he heard Rick. Everyone turned to face Rick now.
"Enough of all this back and forth—let's take a vote. We've heard all the evidence."
"So you're the judge, jury, and executioner of Shane?" Andrea asked. "Is that who you are, Rick?"
"Don't you dare talk to my husband like that," Lori said through clenched teeth. "I'll have you know—"
"Shut up, Lori! I wasn't talking to you."
Maggie sighed and Glenn rubbed his forehead as though he had a severe headache. Daryl and T-Dog glanced at each other with an exasperated look. Carol shook her head, but didn't get involved. Hershel focused on Patricia, and Jimmy glanced from Lori to Andrea, uncertain of who he felt was right and wrong in their argument.
Rick knew if he didn't make the group focus on why they were meeting in the first place, that Lori and Andrea would continue arguing with each other. It wasn't the first time the group had to decide whether someone lived or died. He figured it was harder this time because Shane was one of them. It had been awkward and uncomfortable the first time around with Randall, but it seemed easier because he wasn't part of their group. It was far more difficult to decide about Shane. Regardless of that fact, Rick chose to continue onward.
"All of you state your reason why Shane should live or die. Or you can just vote yes or no. Hershel, you go first."
Hershel nodded and he stood up behind Patricia. "An eye for an eye. He took Otis' life, so he should forfeit his. The walkers in the barn were my family…they were secure in there. I have nothing else to say on the matter. Patricia?"
Patricia had stopped crying, but kept her hands over her eyes. "You know my answer already. I vote yes…"
"I vote yes," Jimmy said. "What they said."
Rick held up three fingers. "That's three votes out of twelve."
Twelve. He thought about that particular number for a moment. A trial jury had twelve jurors. It was eerie how the vote to execute Shane had the exact number that a jury deciding on the penalty phase in a death penalty case would have. Which is what this was, in Rick's mind. A case of whether to decide Shane was worthy of life or deserving of death.
"I vote…" Carol hesitated. She glanced at Daryl, unsure of what to choose.
"Speak your heart, Carol, and make your vote count," Daryl said, reassuring her. "Whatever you decide won't be held against you."
"He helped me against Ed…I'll always remember that."
"This isn't about Ed," Rick said. "This is about him killing Otis, what he did to Lori, and what he was about to do to Randall before Daryl and T-Dog stopped him."
Carol stared at the floor. "Please come back to me. I can't decide."
Rick nodded and then turned to Daryl.
"You got my vote…'cause I don't trust him to not try to kill you again. The other stuff is just as bad…"
"Meaning you think he'll do it again?" Rick asked to confirm.
Daryl nodded, but said nothing more.
"That's four votes. Who's next?"
Rick scanned the faces of those who hadn't yet voted. Andrea looked as though she was holding back tears and Dale was deep in thought, contemplating everything. Glenn had taken off his baseball cap when Daryl was speaking. Now he placed it on his head again and used it to cover his face. Maggie glanced down at him and then at Rick.
"I'm all for executin' him. What my father said is plenty. Beth is where she is now because of his actions. He didn't care when he broke open the barn about how we," she said, gesturing to herself and her father, "would be effected. Or Beth for that matter."
"How do you think Beth would vote?" Rick asked. He was genuinely curious. "Not that we are countin' it, but I'd like to know your thoughts."
"She'd vote against it," Maggie said, looking directly at Rick. "Beth is super sensitive. She cried once when I squashed a spider in her bedroom. She was afraid of the spider, but angry at me for killin' it." She laughed when she recalled the memory. "Does that tell you enough about her?"
"It does," Rick said, and he briefly smiled. "She's sensitive."
"Extremely," Maggie agreed. "She's always been that way, right Dad?"
"She's right, Rick," Hershel said. "She wouldn't want to be involved in this."
"That's fine. She doesn't have to know about it…" Rick glanced at T-Dog who stood near Daryl. "T-Dog, what are your thoughts?"
T-Dog shook his head. He didn't want to answer, but Rick had said earlier that no one could abstain from voting…
"He's dangerous…he wasn't always like this…but he is now…" He took a deep breath before verbalizing his decision. "I vote yes." T-Dog turned his back on everyone, ashamed that his vote would pave the way to Shane's execution.
"That's six votes in favor of execution," Rick said.
"Don't count on my vote," Andrea said.
"No one can abstain."
"I didn't say I was." Andrea's eyes narrowed as Rick stared her down.
"That's fine. That leaves you, Dale, myself, Lori, Glenn, and Carol. Whoever wants to put in their two cents, you can do so at any time."
"What's your vote in all this, Rick? Since you want to hear from us, why don't you tell us where you stand?" Andrea challenged.
Rick met her head on. "I vote yes. That's seven votes."
Andrea blinked. She hadn't expected him to respond so quickly. She took a step backwards and stared at him as though he had slapped her. "I can't believe you…"
"Believe it, Andrea." Rick didn't hide the iciness he felt.
"I'm with the majority here. I vote for his execution. That makes eight votes," Lori added as she stepped closer to her husband, indicating her full support of him. "Shane is dangerous, he's unpredictable…he can't be allowed to stay here."
"So why not just exile him? Give him a chance to live!" Andrea's voice cracked when she said "live."
"He'll come right back and start more trouble," Rick said.
"Whose idea was this? Lori's?"
Lori glared at Andrea, but refused to be goaded into another argument. She looked to Rick and he answered Andrea's question without wavering.
"It was mine."
"You are all sick and twisted," Andrea said, shaking her head. "I can't believe any of you…Dale…Glenn…say something. Carol?" She turned to Carol, who stood in the corner.
Carol stared at the floor and didn't respond to Andrea. She wasn't ready to give her vote yet, and didn't know how she would justify whichever decision she planned to make.
"Fine then," Andrea said, turning back to Rick. "I vote no. It's barbaric that we're even having this discussion. How do you plan to do it? Poison? Gunshot to the head?"
"I'm not answerin' that question."
"You should, since it's your idea."
"I'll make sure he doesn't suffer. It'll be quick." Rick sincerely meant it, but he knew his answer wouldn't appease her.
"You're sick as hell…" Andrea turned to everyone now. "And so are all of you for deciding it's okay for Shane to be killed—by his best friend no less!"
"We already gave our reasons for votin' for his execution, so just shut up about it! Your cryin' an' complainin' won't change our minds."
Andrea stared at Maggie, her eyes widened. She was shocked that Maggie called her out.
"He is the reason my sister is layin' in that other room, depressed out of her mind," Maggie said, her voice rising. She pointed accusingly at Andrea. "And then you left her so that she could try to kill herself. He killed Otis and lied about it. You're just as bad as him for defendin' him."
"Maybe if your father had accepted the truth instead of burying his head in the sand—maybe your sister wouldn't be out to town right now, Maggie."
"Now wait a minute—" Hershel said, rising from his chair.
Maggie started towards Andrea, when Glenn bolted out of his chair and stopped her. "Maggie, sit down. Hershel, you do the same. Sit down—now!"
Maggie and Hershel looked at Glenn, shocked at his demeanor. Glenn pointed at the seats in front of them, urging them to sit down. They obeyed and glared at Andrea.
"You asked for my vote, right, Andrea?" Glenn asked. His edgy tone was completely unlike him and it was apparent that he was defending Maggie.
"Yes, I want to know your vote. I want to know that someone here—aside from me—sees this whole thing for what it is: cold-blooded murder. Premediated murder. Nothing more and nothing less." Andrea waited expectantly as Glenn stared at her from across the room.
"It's murder that he left my husband in that hospital." Lori said, not looking at anyone. "Right, Rick?"
Glenn and Andrea now turned in their direction, uncertain of what she was talking about. Rick didn't respond and Lori continued.
"He left him there and lied about it. He says there were walkers there and that the military were killing living people, but still…that's my husband."
"Throwing in random situations to compound his guilt doesn't count," Andrea said briskly. "And honestly, Lori, you'll say anything to put Shane in the ground. Why don't you just admit you want him dead?"
"Because I don't."
"Then why'd you vote for him to die?"
"Because as I said…" Lori looked straight at Andrea. "He's dangerous, he's frightening me and everyone here. I'm not the only one who feels this way. He makes decisions—"
"—with the best of intentions—"
"—that leave people dead in his wake, or close to it. If that's what his best intentions are, I don't want to wait around to see what his worst intentions are."
Andrea looked from Lori to Rick, and back to Lori again. She noticed Rick remained expressionless and he didn't appear to openly agree or disagree with Lori. If anything, he looked as though he was remembering a situation in his mind that only he knew about. Even with what Lori had just shared with the group about Shane leaving him in the hospital…Rick didn't speak about it. It gave her the impression that Rick already knew about it, but chose not to voice his feelings on the matter.
"There's two sides to every story. The accused is not here to defend himself," Andrea said, her eyes lingering on Rick. She had forgotten about Glenn. "If you're going to charge Shane with serious crimes like murder, attempted murder, attempted rape or sexual assault—then he should be given due process. He has the right to a fair trial, a chance to defend himself. That's only fair."
"He'll get a chance to explain his side," Rick finally responded. "I plan on speakin' to him after this meeting is over to let him know where we stand."
"That's backwards—that's saying he's guilty until proven innocent." Andrea didn't wait for Rick's reply. "You've already made your decision—and that's to kill him." Her voice cracked. "It's not about where 'we' stand, it's about where you stand." She turned to Glenn, remembering she had asked him to give his thoughts.
"Can I speak now?" He asked. His tone was venomous, although he tried to conceal it.
Andrea nodded and stepped back, giving Glenn the opportunity to explain his position.
Glenn's voice softened now when he spoke. "I…" He hesitated, knowing that he was voting for others and not himself. "I vote yes…for Maggie…for Hershel…for Beth…and for Patricia…" He sat down again, next to Maggie and held her close to him. Maggie squeezed him tight and buried her face in his shoulders, refusing to look at everyone. Glenn held her and turned to Rick, nodding silently, confirming his vote.
"That's nine votes in favor and one against. Two more to go, we're down to Carol and Dale," Rick said. "You both decide who wants to go first."
Dale gestured towards Carol. Carol stepped away from the corner of the room and rejoined the group.
"Can't you make this decision without me?" Carol asked. She looked at Daryl, wanting his support. He nodded at her, urging her to continue. "I don't like any of this."
"None of us do," Rick said. "But as I said, no one can abstain from this vote."
She sighed, resigned to the fact that she had to vote. "I vote yes…there doesn't seem to be a choice. Everyone already wants him dead," she said. Feeling ashamed for her last statement, she hung her head, not wanting to see their reactions.
"Not everyone. I don't want him dead," Andrea said. "And you don't have to vote for him to die just because everyone else is. I'm not."
"He…he helped me once…but the other stuff…" Carol bit her lip as she reflected on it. "He wanted to give up looking for my Sophia…he said she was already gone."
"And he was right."
Carol's expression was a mix of frustration and confusion as though she didn't know which direction to take for fear of the consequences. "Daryl wanted to continue looking for her…he wanted to move on," She glanced at Daryl, who nodded in agreement. "I can't support him for that reason…even though he was right the entire time. I know he wanted to keep us all safe. Shane meant well…" She shrugged and retreated to the corner of the room where she felt safe.
"He didn't sentence her to death, he was being realistic!"
"Andrea, you already had your turn," Rick said. "It's ten to one. That leaves one last person."
All eyes were on Dale.
"Here we are again, making a decision about someone's life. To execute, or not to execute. To kill, or not to kill," Dale said slowly, each word dragging out. "I was hoping that when we had this situation with Randall, that we would never repeat it again…"
Dale looked at everyone in the room. Everyone stared back at him, waiting expectantly. They knew his vote would conclude their meeting. He glanced at T-Dog who had turned his back, refusing to face the group. Then he met Rick's eyes.
"I vote no."
Dale saw the shock register on their faces—especially Glenn's—before hearing Rick's response. Glenn mouthed to him "why?" and Dale was under the impression that he wanted to change his vote. Dale had watched him carefully the whole time. He loved Glenn like a son and was saddened that Glenn didn't vote what he truly felt. Dale understood he loved Maggie and wanted to do what would make her feel supported and loved…but this was still a man's life they were talking about. He saw Rick shaking his head in disbelief.
"You just shared with all of us that he had me in his sights." Rick's voice was prickly.
"I shared that because I don't trust Shane. That doesn't mean I condone killing him. Those are two very different things and shouldn't be confused as one implying the other."
"I used to trust Shane. Used to being the key words."
"I understand that, but when did not trusting your best friend translate to it being okay to kill him? I have to agree with Andrea in this situation: you already made your decision, Rick, before you called us to this meeting. You're looking for validation. If it was for anything else, I'd agree with you, but not when it involves taking another person's life."
"You're wrong, Dale. If I had made my decision already, I would've performed a coup de grâce on him while he was knocked out."
"What stopped you then?"
"I'm givin' him a fair chance to live."
"By having your wife, yourself, and everyone here lay down accusations against him without him being present to defend himself?" Dale couldn't keep his true feelings out of his voice. He felt both shock and disgust for what was taking place.
Impatience overwhelmed Rick. It was like a vise closing in on his diaphragm, making it difficult for him to breathe. "You just shared with the group that he had a gun at my back without me knowing it. You went to Lori with the suspicion that he killed Otis. Are you denyin' those things now?"
"I'm not," Dale said, firmly. "The first thing, I saw with my own eyes. The second thing with Otis…yes, it was a suspicion, but I never imagined it would lead to what we're doing now—deciding if he should live or die."
"Whatever happens to Shane from hereon is a result of the choices he made."
Dale processed what Rick said. On one hand, he agreed that Shane's decisions led to his current situation with everyone playing jury, and him as the defendant facing the death penalty. On the other hand…was it fair for any of them to put Shane's life in their hands? To decide whether or not he deserved to live or die based on his recent choices? He wondered now if it was a mistake to share what he did, but he knew there was no going back. He could only go forward.
"I don't support this. You know I didn't agree with killing Randall. So what makes you think, Rick—or what makes any of you think—" Dale turned to rest of the group, "—that I would approve of Shane's murder?"
"Because you don't like him, you don't trust him, and you don't agree with him," Rick said. "The hostility between you and him is not a secret, Dale."
Once again, Dale was shocked into silence. By now, he wasn't sure whom he was more against: Shane Walsh or Rick Grimes. He knew how he would respond, although he knew it would fall on deaf ears, but he had to try for the sake of someone's life—even if that "someone" was a person he had ongoing conflicts with. The animosity between him and Shane was mutual. Still, he felt he had to stay true to his convictions.
"Disagreements between me and Shane never equated to 'let's kill each other'. Have we've fallen so low that we think it's acceptable to take another man's life because we see things differently?" Dale felt saddened by what was playing out before him. He looked to everyone else for support and no one spoke up. The only one who agreed with him was Andrea.
"This isn't about seeing things differently, Dale," Lori said. "This is about how Shane isn't the man he used to be. He's too far gone."
"Since when is anyone ever 'too far gone'? There's always a chance for redemption."
"Then why didn't you give him that chance when it came to Otis?" Andrea whispered. Tears slid down her cheeks. Dale reached out to her, but she turned away from him.
"I can't argue with you there, Andrea," Dale said. "I…I'm the one who accused him of killing Otis…" For the first time, he felt ashamed for voicing his fears about that night. He now faced the rest of the group. "I never meant that I wanted him to die for it….he made bad choices, and there are consequences. We didn't put him in this situation…he did, by his own actions. That, I truly believe…" He gathered up the courage to finish his argument, although he knew it was a losing battle. "I don't believe in the death penalty…and I don't agree that it's acceptable to execute Shane." He looked at Rick again, locking eyes with him. "My answer remains the same: no. No, I will not vote for his execution."
Everyone faced Rick now, expecting him to deliver the final decision.
"It's decided then: ten votes, in favor, and two, not in favor. Majority rules. We're going forward with his execution."
There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief from everyone that the voting was over. Everyone, except Glenn, looked towards the entrance, desperate to leave and put the morbid debate behind them. They stopped suddenly when they heard Andrea lashing out.
"Not 'we'—you are, Rick—you're going forward with his execution…and so are all of you—you are all killers for making this decision! Shane's blood is on your hands—NOT mine!"
Rick's face was expressionless as he listened to Andrea. He bore the brunt of her anger and chose not to respond.
Glenn looked up when he heard the tears choking Andrea's voice. He tried not to let the tone of her voice get under his skin, but it was too late. Already, pangs of guilt were hitting him. It was painful and he shifted in his seat, trying not to overtly react to Andrea's words. A part of him knew she was right, but he didn't want to say that aloud. He knew he couldn't change his vote now. It was too late, and even if he could change it, it wouldn't matter. The majority had already decided Shane's fate. Glenn tried not to let guilt overwhelm him.
Maggie shrugged, indifferent to how Andrea felt. In her mind, it was about time that Shane was dealt with. Shane didn't come first in her mind—her family did. Beth, her father, Jimmy…Patricia and Otis. Shane had brought nothing but heartache to her family, so for her, his execution would give them peace.
Hershel looked in Andrea's direction. Beside him, Patricia took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. He tried to comfort her again, knowing that nothing he said or did would ever make up for what had happened to Otis. Aside from that, he was still angry at Shane for opening the barn and shooting the walkers. It was his property and yet, Shane acted as though it were his to do whatever he wanted. Hershel had gotten to the point where he didn't want him around. Whether Rick exiled or executed Shane made little difference to him. As long as he wouldn't be a problem anymore, then Hershel was fine with it.
Patricia felt she had had enough. Enough of this ongoing debate about whether Shane's life was worth saving or disposing of. She couldn't bear the thought of seeing him—not after he claimed that Otis had "died a hero", when in fact, he had murdered her husband. She was past the point of trying to understand why Shane did what he had done. She wasn't sure if she would ever forgive him or even accept an apology from him. As far as Andrea's words were concerned…Otis' blood were all over Shane's hands. For Patricia, Shane's blood being on her hands was retribution. Justice. An eye for an eye, as Hershel had said earlier.
T-Dog didn't turn around when he heard Andrea. He couldn't face her and he didn't know how he would face Shane when it was time to take him to his execution. He didn't want to participate in Shane's execution in any manner, but because he and Daryl had been the ones to stop Shane from killing Randall in the barn, he knew Rick would ask for his help. The most he could do was treat Shane in a decent and humane manner, even though he was assisting Rick. T-Dog believed in fairness and he felt that course of action was the most fair. He just wished that Shane hadn't changed into the man he was now…
Daryl motioned for Carol to come to the dining room's entrance to where he was, but she shook her head. He knew she had difficulty making the decision and he didn't want her to feel alone in that situation. Originally, Daryl had been conflicted about his vote. In his mind, he could find some understanding for Shane regarding the Otis situation because he knew what it meant to make split second life-or-death decisions. But after Lori revealed the CDC situation, and after finding out Shane had tried killing Rick by throwing a wrench at him…Daryl couldn't stand by Shane's side. Even if Shane didn't intend to rape Lori, it was bad enough that she was terrified by his actions. And Daryl believed Shane would try to kill Rick again. That had been his deciding factor.
Carol wanted Shane to live at first. She remembered how he protected her against Ed. How he tried to comfort her after the barn massacre. Then, she remembered how he wanted to call off the search and that Daryl was the only one who persisted in trying to find Sophia. She knew she was uncertain, that her vote wasn't made in confidence. She appreciated what Daryl had told her: no one would hold her vote against her. And yet, Carol was her own worst enemy as she held her vote against herself.
Jimmy avoided looking at everyone. He wanted to leave the room and go back to running chores on the Greene farm. He wanted things to be as they were before Rick's group ever set foot on the Greene property. To him, the vote was an obvious one. He didn't understand why it had dragged on for as long as it did.
Lori would've responded to Andrea's accusation that Shane's blood was on their hands, but by now, she was tired of fighting. And it wasn't even about Andrea—it was about Shane. Lori hadn't always felt this level of anger towards Shane. It wasn't that way in the beginning when Shane first got her and Carl to safety. Back then, she had been extremely grateful for him. Over time, things changed between them. She had made a mistake in entering into a sexual relationship with him. When Rick returned…Lori wondered if Shane had manipulated her the entire time. So she swore him off, forbade him to see Carl, and wanted nothing to do with him.
Other times, she appreciated Shane's willingness to help her family—such as when he went with Otis to get the supplies. She knew he hadn't been the same since that time. She had asked him once what happened that night and he had turned away from her, refusing to answer her question. She never understood why that was until Dale told her what he thought had actually happened to Otis…That and how he continued to make her and Carl his priority even though Rick was back. From then on, Lori sensed danger when Shane was around and she would never feel safe until he was either exiled or executed. She was secretly glad that the majority of the group had voted on the latter, and yet, she also felt regretful for everything that had happened between him and her—the intimacy, the CDC incident, the push-and-pull behavior she had shown him due to her own confused feelings…
Dale stayed back. He wanted to comfort Andrea, but he knew she wouldn't let him. He knew Rick and everyone else was shocked by his vote. The only person that wasn't shocked was Dale himself. He knew what he thought and felt about the idea of sentencing someone to death. It made Dale feel like he was losing his humanity, that he was letting the new hellish world take over his being. He felt like he didn't belong here, or more so, that the group he had come to regard as his family was broken. Dale knew how he felt about Shane, and he was more than aware of what Shane felt towards him. None of that mattered in the grand scheme of things. In his eyes, a life was still a life.
"What about Randall?" Andrea asked. She didn't wipe away the tears coursing down her cheeks.
"As I said before, I'm freein' him." Rick sounded irritated now.
"So you're releasing a potential threat to all of us, but all of you are in favor of killing someone who keeps us safe?!"
Daryl glanced at her. For a brief moment, Andrea thought he would openly agree with her.
Maggie sighed. She was annoyed that Andrea wouldn't stop. "Have you been listenin' this entire time? Where do you hear that Shane keeps anyone safe, but himself?"
"He tried to kill Rick," Daryl added. "If he had succeeded—where would we be right now?"
Andrea shivered, but didn't answer. She looked around the room, infuriated that everyone (except Glenn and Dale) was looking at her as though she had five heads, twelve arms, and eight legs. As though she wasn't human. She glanced at Lori who stood next to Rick. If Andrea didn't know any better, she would say that Lori appeared relieved with the situation's outcome. She couldn't believe this was happening. She remembered Shane had wanted to leave the group and how she had offered to join him. That's when it hit her: she would leave the group…
"His actions against Otis and my barn are unforgivable," Hershel said, breaking the silence. "He's fortunate that he lived as long as he did with all that he's already done."
"He led this group once," Andrea tried again, appealing to Glenn and Carol.
Neither one answered her; both found something else in the room to focus on. She would've tried to convince T-Dog, but he had his back to the group, refusing to look at anyone, and Daryl already had his mind made up. At least she had Dale in her corner.
"That should mean something—he made sure we were safe. Carol, he beat up Ed when he saw him beating on you. Remember that, at the quarry?" Carol nodded quickly, but still said nothing. "He taught me how to use a gun to protect myself. He taught Carl the same thing—so that he could survive out there. Does this mean ANYTHING to any of you?!" She didn't care if she yelled at them as her frustration was overwhelming. She wanted them to feel the same way.
Glenn abruptly stood up and looked past Rick and Lori. Rick looked behind him to see what had caught Glenn's attention. Did he see Carl? Had Carl left Beth and overheard the entire discussion? Rick hoped not.
"Glenn! Wait—"
When Rick turned back again, Glenn rushed out of the dining room, refusing to respond when Maggie called out to him. Rick saw Glenn push through the front door as he went outside to get away from everyone. He realized he didn't have a chance to speak with Glenn privately as he had originally planned. He wondered what he should do next. He knew he had to go to the barn and talk to Shane (or "confront" him was a more accurate description) about everything that had been discussed. But there was Carl to think about. Rick sighed, knowing this would be the most difficult part. He turned to Lori.
"We have to tell, Carl. Will you do it, Lori?"
Lori heard the exhaustion in his voice. She could tell his nerves were worn down from everything, although he continued to remain steadfast. "I'm not sure how to tell him…but I'll try."
"Tell him he can go see Shane—all of you can," Rick said, turning to the group.
"I'm not goin'," Maggie said, "but I'll find Glenn to let him know that he can go see him if he wants." She left the dining room to go find Glenn.
"I'm not either," Jimmy said.
"I'll stand in proxy for you and Maggie," Hershel said. "Beth, too."
Rick nodded. He couldn't believe that it was over—the vote, the meeting, and now Shane's execution that would happen in a short amount of time. There was no turning back.
"I can't…I can't face him," Patricia whispered. "Maybe when it's time for his execution…"
"It's okay, it's up to you if you want to see him or not," Rick said. "No one has to if they don't want to."
"That's fine, Rick. I think we're done here," Hershel said, gesturing to himself, Patricia, and Jimmy.
"Thank you for being present, Hershel. I just figured if anyone has last words with him, they can say so before it's his time, and if he has something he needs to get off his chest, he better do it while he's still breathing."
As he spoke, Jimmy accompanied Patricia as they left the dining room. He didn't notice Andrea wincing at his words. Or how Dale stared at him in a manner as though he had no idea who Rick was.
"Can you ask Carl to come in here?"
"Sure, Rick. I'll swap places with him so I can spend time with my Beth. It will give you and Lori time to speak with him."
Hershel left and Rick turned to the rest of the group. "I'm goin' back there with Daryl and T-Dog. We'll set shifts until it's time for his execution."
"How long does he have?" Andrea pressed right away.
"I'll give him twenty-four hours."
"You're gonna tell him that?!"
"Of course, he's gonna know," Rick said, exasperated. By now, he felt completely drained from Andrea's continued resistance. "There'll be no question in his mind that in twenty-four hours, he'll be dead."
"How…" Andrea said, shaking her head, completely disgusted. "How can you be so cold?"
She couldn't stand to be in the same room with Rick or any of them for another minute. If she stayed, she didn't know what she'd do. Andrea hurried out of the dining room and ran upstairs to her room. Her mind was made up. She'd see Shane one last time…and then she'd leave the group. First, she had some things to do before she left for good…
Dale's heart sank when he watched Andrea leave the dining room. He felt helpless because he knew he couldn't reach her. He felt even more frustrated since Andrea's stance effectively separated her from the rest of the group. He didn't want her to feel alone, especially they were the only ones who voted against Shane's execution.
"I know you won't change your mind," he said, approaching Rick, "but I hope you remember that time when you said we don't kill the living."
"That's before the living killed the living."
Dale decided he had another way of making his stance known. No one had stated that attending Shane's execution was mandatory, but he felt it best to state it aloud. "I won't be present for his execution. If that's the only way that I can communicate to you and everyone else how strongly I'm against it, then so be it."
Before Rick could respond, Dale left the dining room and exited the house a short time later. He hadn't yet processed Dale's words when Carol also decided to leave. Her eyes flicked to Daryl's before meeting Rick's. Her expression was unreadable, although her somber tone spoke volumes.
"I hope you won't regret this." She quietly left the dining room, as though it pained her to do so.
The only ones left were Rick, Lori, Daryl and T-Dog. Moments after Carol left, Carl came into the dining room escorted by Hershel. Hershel watched them for a short time and then left to return to spend time with Beth. Sighing, Lori went to Carl and knelt down so that she was eye level with him. She turned back once to Rick, and he nodded at her, indicating he trusted however she would relay the news to Carl. Rick watched as she began speaking with him. He had no idea that he was mirroring Shane, when Lori had went to Carl's school to tell their son he had been shot. He now listened intensely to the conversation.
"Carl, I need to tell you something…okay?" Lori took his hands and held them.
Carl nodded and waited.
"Shane…he's not going to be with this group anymore…" She watched Carl's face to see how he would react. "He tried to kill Randall. We..as in your father, myself, and the rest of the group decided it was best to…" Lori faltered as she looked to Rick. He came over to them.
"We've decided that Shane can't be with us anymore, Carl," Rick said, gently. He felt his strength renewed now that he was with his wife and son. "Everyone talked about it and this was a group decision." He knew he was repeating her words.
"How come I couldn't be here to talk about it?" Carl looked confused as his eyes flickered to his mother and then his father. "You're making him leave?"
"No…" Rick bit his lip as he thought quickly of how to put this in the kindest way to his son. There was no easy way to state the obvious: Carl, tomorrow I will kill the man you love as family. Then it came to him as to how he would phrase it. We're puttin' him down.
It reminded him of the time he had brought Carl a puppy. Carl had named the puppy, "Champ" and had adored him from day one. Two years later, Champ got very sick unexpectedly and grew worse every day. Rick had no choice, but to euthanize Carl's beloved pet who had slept on his bed and kept him company every night. Carl was heartbroken, it was his first experience with death, and Rick remembered that he had described the process to his son as "puttin' Champ down."
From that experience, Carl knew that Champ wouldn't return home from the vet's office. Champ would be dead. He would never wake up again. He wouldn't be able to hear Carl, if Carl were to call his name. Dead was forever, there was no way to reverse it. Rick had tried very hard to impress upon Carl that Champ would be at peace. He wouldn't be suffering anymore. Champ would also cross the Rainbow Bridge to be with other pets who had been "put down" or left their owners permanently.
"We're gonna put him down," Rick heard himself say. "He won't be in pain…or cause others pain." He knew he shouldn't have said that last part, but it came out before he could stop himself and he couldn't take it back.
Carl blinked. He looked at his parents, and then at T-Dog and Daryl who stood nearby, listening to the conversation. He glanced at the table and went to sit down where Glenn had sat earlier. As he did so, Rick noticed his lips trembling and soon his whole body was shaking. Lori pulled a chair over to sit next to him and that's when the tears erupted from Carl.
"He won't be around anymore…you're making it so he can't be with us anymore…" Carl sobbed, while still trying to understand what was going to happen in the near future to the man he loved...The man who had taught him fun things like catching frogs, and survival skills such as how to aim and shoot a gun, how to make secure knots. "You're going to kill him?"
"It's for everyone's safety…you can go see him one last time…to say your good-byes and tell him anything you need or want to…"
Rick spoke slowly as he processed the significance of his words. For the first time since the meeting ended, he found himself getting choked up at the idea that he would be shooting his best friend in the head. Ending his life. Or "killing him", as Carl had expressed with a child's honesty. Not that ridiculous euphemism: putting him down. Hearing that phrase in his mind, Rick thought it sounded like Shane was a rabid dog. He hated that he had to have this conversation with Carl, but it would be far worse if he executed Shane with no explanation. There were no easy answers as to how to approach the situation and he felt his and Lori's best efforts were meaningless.
Shane would be dead in a day's time…and Rick knew nothing would change that.
He sighed as he met Lori's eyes. She wiped a stray tear that made its way down her cheek. He could see how much it hurt her to see Carl upset and crying. Lori pulled Carl close to her and hugged him. Rick stood back as Carl wept openly on his mother's shoulder. Lori looked over their son's shoulder and mouthed: go ahead…do what you have to do. Rick took that as his cue to leave. He gestured silently for Daryl and T-Dog to follow him. They left Hershel's home and headed to the barn.
"I'll speak with him about everything that was discussed in the meeting and about what's gonna happen to him."
"How do you think he'll take it?" T-Dog asked.
"What kinda question is that?" Daryl asked in return. "Ain't no man throwin' a party once they hear they've been scheduled to die."
T-Dog shrugged. He didn't know what to say in response. He just knew he didn't want to imagine Shane's reaction when Rick told him everything. He wondered if Rick would have a change of heart before the actual execution. What if he decided to exile Shane? T-Dog had a feeling Rick wouldn't change his mind. Twenty-four hours from now, there would be one less person in their group.
No one said anything for several minutes. It was only when they reached the doors of the barn that Rick broke the uncomfortable silence. "I'm not sure how he'll react," he said, finally answering T-Dog's question aloud. "I'll find out soon enough."
Daryl and T-Dog waited outside while Rick went into the barn.
oOo
Fifteen minutes later, Rick exited the barn. Between the time he had left and returned, Daryl and T-Dog had heard snippets of the conversation. Or more so, they heard Shane's angry reactions to Rick's accusations. Both men asked themselves (but not each other) if executing Shane was the right course of action. Andrea had suggested exile, so that it gave him a chance to live, but Rick had shot that idea down, stating Shane would return and start trouble.
"He's not happy about it, but he doesn't have a choice." Rick thought for a moment about what he had just said. Of course, Shane wasn't happy, but at this point, he really didn't care what Shane felt. Angry, fearful, regretful, sad…none of it softened Rick's stance. "He had an explanation for just about everything…it makes no difference. The execution is still happenin'. We'll go back in there and figure out who will stand guard and for how long. He'll never have a private moment alone in his final hours. Both of you will alternate shifts, so just think on that for a minute and I'll let you know once we're inside."
"Got it," Daryl said.
"Sounds like a plan," T-Dog added.
They followed Rick inside the barn and approached the former leader of the Atlanta group, who for all intents and purposes, was currently on death row.
oOo
An hour had passed since Daryl and Rick had left T-Dog in the barn to guard Shane. T-Dog had agreed to take the first four hour shift. Daryl would return three hours from now to relieve him. They would alternate until it was time to take Shane to his execution. What Rick didn't say, but what T-Dog knew—and he was certain Daryl was fully aware of—was that this was a death watch.
When T-Dog had sat several feet away from Shane, the first thing he had noticed was he was situated as they had left him: sitting on the ground and bound to a wooden post. His face was bruised from where T-Dog had slammed the stool across his face. Two trails of blood from his nose and lips had dried into a brownish-red color. T-Dog didn't know if that was from his earlier fight with Shane or from Rick—T-Dog thought he had heard Rick and Shane exchanging blows when they had their conversation. Rick's attacks were physical and Shane's were verbal because that's all he could do to show his defiance.
Although a part of him felt guilty for thinking it, T-Dog admitted to himself that he was glad Shane was restrained. If he wasn't tied up, T-Dog would never bring him to his execution—because Shane would kill him first. He had his own Glock 17 just in case. Even so, Shane was brutal when he was furious—and T-Dog had received the brunt of it before he and Daryl succeeded in taking him down. He glanced at Shane's wrists that were tied high above his head and remembered Rick telling him to do that. When T-Dog had asked why, Rick's response was bone-chilling: "he knows how to undo knots if they're close to him, but with them above his head, he can't escape."
The rest of the time Rick had silently watched as Daryl and T-Dog secured Shane. T-Dog reflected that must've been when Rick had contemplated executing Shane—especially since he asked the group afterwards to vote on whether or not his best friend should face death. He had told T-Dog and Daryl about it on the way to Hershel's home—after they relocated Randall to Hershel's shed. Rick's decisions were intentional: leaving Shane secluded, moving Randall to the shed, and making it clear to the group that Shane's fate was death and exile wasn't an option.
Just as he was thinking about Rick's decisions, T-Dog heard the barn doors open. Glenn lingered by the entrance, hesitating at first, but then walked into the barn. He was Shane's first visitor. Glancing in T-Dog's direction, Glenn's uneasy smile indicated that he wasn't thrilled about what was going on, although he had voted in favor for the execution. T-Dog wondered if Glenn was visiting Shane out of obligation or guilt, and decided it was both. He watched Glenn slowly approach Shane. Glenn spoke to him in a hushed tone, making it difficult for T-Dog to hear what he had said. Shane responded back, his voice sounded surprisingly mellow. Then, just as quickly, he left the barn without acknowledging T-Dog. T-Dog didn't take it personal; he knew Glenn was upset. Glenn had been the first one to leave the group after the decision was made.
Shane watched Glenn leave the barn and then turned his attention to T-Dog.
T-Dog noticed the pained look in Shane's eyes. It was apparent that he felt deeply betrayed. Betrayed by Glenn, T-Dog, and anyone else who supported his future demise. T-Dog didn't think Shane knew their individual votes. The mere fact that Rick had already told him that the group didn't trust him and that certain death was the only thing in his future…T-Dog could empathize with Shane. Then the hurt expression faded. T-Dog was familiar with the saying "if looks could kill", although he couldn't recall a time in his life—before today—when he had faced someone who gave him that horrifying stare.
Shane's murderous glare stabbed right through T-Dog's conscience.
The ropes made it difficult and even painful for him to move, but there was no change in his demeanor as he stared down T-Dog with sheer hatred. His rage was quiet, but obvious. It was worse to deal with his nonverbal behavior because at least if Shane were to yell or curse at him—T-Dog knew how to respond. Instead, Shane's deadly silence was meant to intimidate T-Dog.
His blood froze when he realized the irony of the entire situation. The man who had invited him to join the Atlanta group and took T-Dog under his wing, so that they could survive the outbreak—this was the same man who had been accused of all those terrible things in the meeting. This was the same Shane Walsh, and yet, it wasn't him. Once again, T-Dog thought to himself that although Shane wasn't always dangerous—he was now and they had to prevent him from harming himself and anyone else.
Even if that meant killing him…
Dale and Andrea had been the only ones to advocate for him, to fight for his life. Much of what they said reminded T-Dog of how Dale had urged the group to not lose their humanity the first time they had considered killing Randall. He wondered if he and the rest of the group were the killers now, since they had voted to execute Shane. Rick said that they didn't kill the living until the living killed the living. In a day's time, Rick would kill Shane and the rest of the group had agreed with the execution…so what did that make them? Murderers? Accomplices to murder in the first degree? After all, the eventual execution and even the vote to execute the fallen leader, was a premediated and deliberate act.
Andrea's words rang in his mind: we kill someone who has killed someone to show that killing is wrong.
T-Dog tried not to think about it during the rest of his shift.
-Finito-