Welcome to Everything Wrong With Trapped in the Heart of a Gamer! I needed another story to rip on— I mean, stretch my sinning muscles with, so I got the permission of my buddy UnraveledKaneki to sin his Overwatch fanfiction, Trapped In The Heart Of A Gamer. Disclaimer: I do not own Overwatch, neither do I own Trapped In The Heart Of A Gamer. If you wanna give love to the story, don't do it here, do it on the original.
Anyway, here goes nothing.
Everything Wrong With Trapped in the Heart of a Gamer by UnraveledKaneki (spoilers... but it's a fanfiction, you shouldn't care)
Chapter 1: The New Girl
I look over to my desk, and pick up my Android. Ha! That is where you have failed! For Android does not have Fortnite Mobile!... Yeah, that's the only good thing about iPhones for now. *ding*
It's not an iPhone, I know, but I got it for a hundred bucks, it does the job. ...sin removed for being accurate. #iPhoneMasterRace *reverse ding*
It's the first day of school, and for once, I was kinda non-chalant about it. Nobody is ever non-chalant about the first day of school after summer. It's either "hey, new school year, new friends" or "oh, no, new school year, new drama." *ding*
My best friend, Jack, had moved away in the summer, only a week ago in fact. Despite the fact that we message frequently on Facebook *ding*, PSN, and Snapchat *ding*, it's not the same without him really being here. Hey, look, a PlayStation user! (Note: We at AHSVelocity Enterprises do not have anything against PlayStation users. We just think the Xbox is cooler.) *ding*
I get on well with everyone else in my class, but today that's gonna change.
Because today's the day the new girl arrives. Roll credits. *ding*
As I got my breakfast, I saw all the buzz about her on my Facebook News Feed. From my recollection, the Facebook News Feed should cover things worldwide. You're using the regular Facebook screen. *ding*
Gabriel wonders if she's some hot Amazonian babe from Brazil... Like that's gonna happen. *ding*
...Angela wonders if another European such as herself could be joining us (she has a fondness for people from her own continent, that Swiss girl)... I mean, you're somewhat warm. *ding*
...and Lena just hopes it's someone famous. You're right on it, Tracer. *ding*
I laugh off Lena's suggestion as my mom snaps me out of my Facebook induced trance. But mom, I'm looking at Fortnite news! *ding*
"Everyone's making assumptions about what kind of person she is and whatnot. Some of these predictions are hilarious." Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Overwatch's Funniest Home Videos! *ding*
My mom and I exchange our farewells as I begin the short walk to school. Lucky you get to walk to school. I have to ride in a car. With my stepdad. Who's a teacher at the school I go to... Yeah, if I get in trouble, I get in two times as much at home. Lucky you. *ding*
I put my earphones in and logged onto Twitch in eager anticipation to see if my favorite streamer, the one and only DVa was online. New series of sins. Everytime the original story is missing a DVa because Unraveled put a period in between, I'm putting two sins in: one for him having done that, and another for me taking the effort to put it in. Missing DVa Fixed Count: 1. *double ding*
DVa is a goddess among gamers, yet her identity remains a mystery. Missing DVa Count: 2. *ding ding*
New counter starting here: Every time a curse word is said, I add one to the counter. This has no effect on sins, I just wanna do it.
She's kept a pretty fuckin' tight wrap on her personal life, and the only real thing people know about her is that she's about the same age as me. You never told us what age you are. Johnathan plz. *ding* (Curse Counter: 1)
Nobody knew where she was from (as her high-pitched voice was hard to put an accent on; it was somewhere between American and Asian) or what her real name was. Ask 4chan. They can solve it as fast as they could solve the Burger King Foot Lettuce post. And that was pretty fast. *ding*
As I sighed in defeat of not being able to listen to the (admittedly cute) voice of my favorite streamer... Johnathan already has a crush on Hana, and she hasn't even been introduced yet. *ding*
...I turned around the corner and looked up to see my school, the Royal Winstonian Academy, at the end of the street. Alright, let's do Overwatch member roll call. Hana/DVa, check. Jack/Soldier 76, check. Gabriel/Reaper, check. Angela/Mercy, check. Lena/Tracer, check. And now Winston, check. *ding*
Now, despite it's fancy name, it's not a "place for posh wankers," as Lena would politely put it. Ha. Joke about how British people talk. Hahaha. *ding*
"Well, well, it's been a while Mr "I'm too anti-social to hang out!" says Lena, with a mocking tone. I retort back with "Geez, the cavalry's here already huh?" Catchphrase Count: 1. Up your game. *ding*
Whilst she's nowhere near the level of DVa *ding ding*, Lena is pretty good in her own right; though, since I have to look at her every day, I cringe at some of the acting she performs online. How much do you wanna bet that they're all just big friends with each other and whenever one person's stream ends, they host another's? Like my bud Nephilim_AU with his friend Karlobster. *ding*
Edit here. The story usually uses bold text to signify a text from someone. However, since I sin in bold, all text messages will instead be in italics. Figured you should know.
"NEW MESSAGE FROM J. MORRISON:
Hey, best of luck today. Let me know about the new kid!" Jack uses Facebook about as much as everyone else. Jeez, these people are even worse than most Instagram users: they can never get off. *ding*
The teacher walked in and everyone — even Gabriel, who was still wearing that black hood of his — managed to be highly attentive for this. This sentence makes no sense whatsoever. *ding*
You see, new kids in pre-established classes are very rare here at the Winstonian. Despite the easy admission process, very few people transfer here from other schools. If it's so easy a 5 year old can do it, there's something wrong. Make it a tiny bit harder. Like, do a flip... I can't do a flip. Aww... :( *ding*
Mr. McCree walked in holding a bunch of papers in his hand, and after removing his ridiculous cowboy hat — the guy had a massive hard-on for Clint Eastwood; the man started reading JoJo's Bizzare Adventure because of it — he began to speak. First, hahaha, McCree's the teacher. *ding* Second, JoJo's Bizzare Adventure gets referenced a LOT. And I don't know where the references are, just the fact that JoJo's Bizzare Adventure. *ding*
...Added sin because I almost thought the "Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru" meme came from JoJo when it actually came from Fist of the North Star. *ding*
"Now I'm sure y'all are aware that there be a new student joinin' yer ranks today. She's from some place called Boosawn in South Korea, or somethin' like that." That's not fully what Texans sound like. So in other words: That's racist. *ding*
"Come on in young lady. Show 'em that you're not here to play games with their expectations." I was a bit confused at what he meant by that, but my confusion was put to the side once I heard the girl's voice.
"Are you sure life isn't a game, Mr. McCree?" Hana's philosophical thoughts. *ding*
While she definitely was an Asian, her pale skin and more rounded eyes made her look as though she was more 65/70% Asian and 30/35% Caucasian. Her figure was petite, she didn't look to be more than 5'5, 5'6 at best. Her curves weren't as voluptuous as some of the other male students had imagined her being, probably a C cup at a push. Johnathan's hidden ability to figure out the ethnicity, height, and cup size of girls. *ding*
She was wearing a plain white cardigan with blue denim jeans, and a black schoolbag with an instantly recognizable keychain attached to its zipper...
A smirking white bunny with pink decals; the logo of DVa. 1st: Missing DVa Fix counter at 4. *ding ding* 2nd: Even though it's obvious that it's the logo of DVa, nobody at the Winstonian would most likely buy DVa's merch. So even if there was DVa merch, you should realize the voice and know Hana's DVa. *ding*
"Now what do you mean by that, missy?" asked the rather puzzled looking McCree. The girl responded back with a simple answer. "I think that life is just one silly game we all play. It's fuckin' pathetic if you ask me." 1. NO SWEARING IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER. (Curse Counter: 2) 2. Philosophical Hana. *ding*
"Riiiiiigggghhhhttt..." I took enough time to count out how many times each letter was said and type it exactly. Sin for that. *ding*
"Her name is Hana Song, and according to her profile here it says her birthday is in October..." Hana's profile is just her page on the Overwatch Wikia. *ding*
"...just like yours, Bigshot." McCree points his finger (in a gun pose) at me. Bigshot is his nickname for me; I have no idea why he calls me that but he just does. I don't mind it, however. He's called Bigshot cus his di- redacted. *ding*
"Now then, Ms. Song, you can go take a seat right there beside Bigshot." "New character that main character already has a crush on sits by main character in class" cliche. *ding*
And thus began Hana Song's first day at the Winstonian. Also thus began my time getting taken away for this. *ding*
Chapter 1 Sin Count: 42
Sentence: The Meaning of Life is Invalidated