-1Good Enough For Me: through Kiryu's eyes
Why? That is the first thing that comes to me, even as I feel myself coming into being. I can see and hear nothing, can feel nothing, so all I can do is think. My awareness increases bit by bit, until I can feel my limbs. Arms, legs, tail, wrist blade, ramjets, shoulder cannons, missile silos, wrist-mounted lasers, my ultimate weapon… I can feel but I cannot move. I know THEY are out there, watching me, monitoring my first feeble attempts to move on my own. I can feel THEM, voices inside me, echoing through me. Knowledge comes to me, information, telling me what I am. I'm not altogether a robot or a living being, but rather a synthesis of both. Made in the image of my enemy, but stronger, I am to become the first line of defense. But why? Is this my fate? Have I no choice in the matter? I begin to keep track of time, basing my chosen time system on the comings and goings of the ones within me. I discover that THEY cycle through periods of activity alternated with periods of quiet. Many of these cycles pass, and soon I lose count. Though THEY may not know it, I listen, and I learn. THEY talk about me mostly, not knowing I can hear. Some call me Mechagodzilla, after Godzilla, my enemy, but most call me Kiryu. I like the second better, for it translates into 'Machine Dragon', making it an identity all my own.
I am held motionless, my new sense of balance telling me that I am locked standing in an upright position. Sight is denied me as yet, but I can hear vague whispers. Once again, THEY are talking about me. I am still a work in progress, unfinished, but soon I will be empowered, given strength and life, such as it may be. THEY still come and go and I begin to identify individual voices. There are many of THEM, a great many, and each one sounds different. It amuses me when THEY get the odd feeling that THEY are not alone when THEY work solo, and that someone is listening in on THEM. The best part is that THEY don't know how right THEY are. THEY aren't alone, someone is listening, but I don't think THEY would believe it if THEY found out it was me.
I exult as the light comes, humming through me, awakening me in ways that make me feel like I have become alive at last. I raise my head, my first movement, and get my first sight of the world outside my thoughts. Hmmm… A wall, catwalks, wires and tubes, all of silvery metal lit with a yellow glow. But still it is beautiful, for it is sight, true sight at last. I voice my delight with a soft cry. Will THEY allow me… No! It's going away again. That glorious light… I sink into the blackness once again, my new strength disappearing with the light. How could THEY give me that wonderful sensation only to take it away?
The so-called tests that follow my first introduction to the wonders of the light offer me a chance to see what I can do, for which I am quite happy. The sight of my ultimate weapon, the Absolute Zero cannon, amazes even me. It bridges the gap between myself and my target in an instant, and the air seems to freeze as it passes. But even that is not its most spectacular effect, I soon see. The target freezes as well, becoming a tower of ice. It sure looks fragile now… Why, I'll bet the slightest shock will make it fall over. Only one way to find out… I slam my tail against the ground and receive another surprise. The frozen target doesn't just fall; it shatters. I cannot help but feel proud of my fighting capability, for the voices within me say I am invincible, unbeatable.
The light comes again, but it is nothing like those times before. What I had felt before was a mere shadow of all the light can do. I can see there isn't much room to move, so I just hold still and wait as I am raised up. There is a light up above and I am taken into that world I had seen during my tests. I stare at my surroundings, marveling at the vastness of it. Something deep inside me is on high alert, ready and eager for action. A fight is coming, this I know. There is a sound above me and something descends to attach to me. More of that glorious light pours into me from where the things I cannot see have attached themselves to me. I'm not surprised when the things attached to me lift me up. I know they'll take me to where I must go. I just wait and watch as the scenery goes by. It is a city, all in shambles, and I know I am being taken to the culprit. As I go, I look at my carriers. Two big blue and white jets carry me via long black cables, with a third leading.
It is then that I see him, and, upon seeing him, I know. Here is Godzilla, my enemy. I am set down and the things attached to me come away, setting me free for the first time. I waste no more time. Let's fight! I cut loose with all I have as I fearlessly advance, pushing him back. He doesn't retaliate but I don't care. He appears to be shocked at the sight of me. I continue my barrage with greater intensity, feeling victory come within my grasp. He backs into the sea. This is my chance! I can finish this fight! It's time for my ultimate weapon. Let's see how he likes the Absolute Zero cannon! It'll take a few moments to fully charge, so I hold my ground and don't let up one bit. I am abruptly frozen where I stand as, retreating, he lets out this terrible cry… in my voice! My voice, my face, my form… Is this what I was modeled after?! Is this what I am?! Everything seems to fall under a red haze as something deep inside me stirs in this moment, a terrible rage like nothing I could ever have imagined. This is what THEY made me, and yet THEY send me up against myself! I don't know what to do, but I do know that I am angry, so I let it out. I let it all out. Everything all around me burns under my onslaught, yet I am still not satisfied. Though I have destroyed much, there is still rage left within me and more remains for me to destroy. And yet, I can feel something deep within me, trying in vain to stop this… I don't notice myself losing strength until it is completely gone. The light, the strength it gave me… I used it up? Everything begins to fade away as, utterly spent, I descend into the void I had been in before.
THEY keep the light from me for a long, long time after that. I am given much time to think as THEY scuttle and scurry about. The rage has left me, to be replaced with calmness. I still don't understand, but I have decided that being angry will do no good. It'll change nothing. I have also decided that my enemy is still my enemy, even despite the fact that he is so much like me. I have paid much attention to the voices that ring inside me, so I know THEY will not give up on me even despite what I have done. I will be sent forth again someday. I have only to wait and all will be well.
A new one comes, not too much later. Its voice is small, often unheeded by others, but I hear. I hear all, but none know. I listen with rapt attention as it argues on my behalf. No other has seen beneath the metal that is my body to see that I am more than a mere machine. At last, one knows that I think and feel… but not that I hear.
The light comes to me again, enfolding and filling me, bringing me to life. Once again I am raised up, but the scenery has changed. All is dark. But that doesn't hinder anything as that same odd sound comes from above me as the three jets come, the long black cables I can't currently see attach themselves and I am once again lifted up. Beams of light stab into the dark sky and I can see where they are taking me. Once again he is there, tearing through all in his path. I can hear voices around me, inside me, and I know that where Godzilla is going is somewhere he must not be allowed to go. I chafe at the proverbial bit. My carriers are too slow! At the pace we're going, we won't be able to stop him in time! But I know what to do. I'd rather not waste energy doing something like this, but I fire up my ramjets and disconnect from my carriers, heading for Godzilla. I trail thick streams of bright sparks as I blast off, taking my inertia into a full-on shoulder ram. He's sent flying, and I am given a moment. I gaze down the street and I see a few of THEM there. No, not THEM. These must be the things THEY call 'civilians', which THEY are trying to protect! If they're anything like the small-voiced one, then they can think and feel, like me. They can think and feel, like me, but, unlike me, they cannot fight back against Godzilla. Is this where I come into things? As I see them, so I know they see me. Does the sight of me bring hope, just as the sight of Godzilla brings fear?
I remember my duties and move on, seeking out my foe. Godzilla is standing, roaring irately and preparing to attack. I let off a short barrage, which he shrugs off, then advance to meet him head-on. Soon we're face-to-face, bodily shoving each other and trying to force each other backward. I use the lasers I bear upon my wrists for the first time, but he slams me hard, and when I look back, one of my shoulder cannons has been torn away. I buy myself a moment by extending my wrist blade and jabbing it into his arm, then blasting him with as much energy as I can muster. He whacks me away, my wrist blade snapping at the base. He's too close. I need some room to maneuver. So, once again igniting my ramjets, I put some distance between us. But he cuts loose with that fire beam of his, ripping off my other shoulder cannon. The sheer force of it sends me flying. This added velocity, along with my ramjets, sends me into a nearby building. Funny… I hadn't seen that one there. I hit hard and everything just goes crazy. It takes a few moments for everything to stop spinning, but even those few moments are too long. Godzilla's foot comes down on my chest, hard. I can see him pull my broken wrist blade out of his arm and toss it aside. My shoulder cannons are gone, as is my wrist blade. It seems like he's disarming me bit by bit. How do I get out of this one?
Explosions erupt, tossing Godzilla aside. One of the three blue and white jets that brought me here has gone on the attack, releasing me from his grip and buying me a few precious moments to stand up and think of a new plan. I see the jet and I am glad, for I know the one flying it is a friend. Remembering how effective my first strike was, I lunge, my jets blazing and pushing me to insane speeds. I hit him again and again, relying on sheer speed, and this time I actually dodge his fire beam on several occasions. All this time I am letting the Absolute Zero cannon charge, so I can just pause and cut loose. It's ready before I know it, so I just abruptly break off the attack and hop back. The panels on my chest slide open for the first time, forming a triple-pronged energy cannon. Energy crackles at the tip of each prong, then flows down along the length to gather in the center. But it is then that Godzilla cuts loose, and I realize that I am vulnerable. Between the cannon's opening and the end of the firing sequence, I can't move for fear of disrupting the energy. All I can do is stand and take it, but I hope I can get my shot off before he hits me. It is not to be. He hits me just as I fire and, horror of horrors, my shot is thrown off. No! Now that I've missed, the Absolute Zero cannon's energy will wreak havoc on anything in its path! All those buildings out there! All those civilians! I'm abruptly sent flying into another building as Godzilla takes the advantage given by my distraction.
I would try to get up, but it is then that I realize how much it took for me to do all that. The last of that glorious light is leaving me even now, the void closing in just as slowly and surely as Godzilla must be. I can hear the voices inside me calling out for more light, more light at any cost. It comes. The entire city goes dark for miles around as, bright shining and glorious, it bursts within me with its radiance, giving me the strength to fight again. Did the city give me this? Who cares? I'm at full power! Yes! I stand… only to have Godzilla shoot me in the back and send me to the ground again.
The jet sees this, and it is not happy. I can feel a great cry come from it as it blasts forward, arcing through a collision course with Godzilla's jaws. It's in his mouth and he's biting it. This stirs something inside me. Everything seems to become clearer. My movements are surer as I rise again, and I stand a little taller. All my questions, all my doubts and fears, have fallen away. I alone remain. Freed from the shackles of self-doubt, I am ready for war. Anger fills me as I see the jet still held in Godzilla's jaws and he tears the back half away in a plume of fire, but the important part is still in his mouth. A voice comes from the jet, calling upon me to take the shot its sacrifice has given me. But the open shot is furthest from my mind as I see what he has done to the jet. I must get it away from him! My ramjets are momentarily forgotten as I lunge to seize him. With one hand I wrench what's left of the jet from his grasp, and with the other I hold his mouth shut so he can't use his fire beam. The last bits of the jet go flying, but I can see a very tiny something disengage from the ruins, so I know everything is all right. Now for Godzilla.
I ignite my ramjets and push them to the limit, carrying the both of us through the wrecked city, toward the sea. He struggles, but I have him. I push harder and we lift up a bit, aiming for the sea and going into a power dive. The water can't be good for me, but I wish I had a better idea… I've almost used up the light given to me by the city, putting me back where I started. But still I hold him, charging up the Absolute Zero cannon and giving it all I have left. Let's see how he likes it up close and personal! It surges through the water to touch him and everything around us freezes into one big thick sheet of ice. Even as the explosion thrusts the water upward it freezes, I can tell, forming a colossal ice sculpture. I don't know if he's down, but I'm sure out of the fight. It's all I can do to maintain awareness of my surroundings. The ice is all around me. Oh no, am I trapped?
It shatters, just like that, and as I drift to the surface I can see that Godzilla is there, alive and well, albeit not whole. I see the colossal red gouge carved in his chest, and I know the Absolute Zero cannon hasn't let me down completely. It may not have killed him, but it sure hurt him. As he turns away to leave the area I silently exult, for though he lives I have completed my mission. I have driven him away. I've taken a lot of damage and had quite a few close calls, but I won the day. This battle has shown me the purpose of my existence. Before, I had asked why I was created, why I was given the form of Godzilla, what my purpose was and what I was. As I slowly descend into the void for some well-deserved recuperation time, I realize my questions have been answered. I am the answer to the greatest threat ever known. I am the protector of the weak and helpless, fighting for those who cannot fight. Who am I? I am Kiryu, the Machine Dragon, known to some as Mechagodzilla, and that's good enough for me.
END.