Kai: This is a list involving my OC team for Naruto.

Disclaimer: Sharingan is red, Kai's Taishogan is blue, they no own, so you no sue!

Things Team Thirteen Are No Longer Allowed To Do

(Rules 1-30)

1. Team Thirteen is no longer allowed to go on missions involving cats. Just because you're curious & want to know if cats will always land on their feet, is no reason to drop them of the Hokage monument, Sasha. Kaia, Trinity, stop incouraging her. And Sazuki, your name is now down as one of the four jounin instructors who've managed to fail a D-rank mission. Ever. In the history of Konoha.

2. No, Kaia, it is not funny to execute an attack on the ANBU Headquarters with paintballs.

3. Nor is it funny to execute an attack on the Intelligence Headquarters. Sazuki, your genin should not know where either of these headquarters are, so stop telling them classified information. Please.

4. Whichever one of you stole all of Lady Tsunade's sake and her private stash, congratulations on your stealth skills. Now give it all back, she's bitchy enough as it is.

5. Miyazaki Sazuki is not allowed to take another genin team. EVER.

6. All establishments in Konoha are hereby banned from giving or selling ANY alchohol to Team Thirteen, including Miyazaki Sazuki.

7. Kaia, please stop using the Sexy justu on diplomates & dignitaries from other villages. It is not funny in any way, shape, or form.

8. The same goes for the other members of Team Thirteen, as well.

9. Screaming "AHHH, THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING" will not endear you to the ANBU population. Especially if you sound convincing.

10. The Hyuuga Clan does not collectively have a stick that needs to be removed from certain places. Nor do they appreciate graffiti plastered over their homes informing them of such.

11. Flirting with the police will not get them to remove the handcuffs.

12. Trinity, do not set Rock Lee on fire just so you "can see his flames of youth more clearly". Even if he things this is a good idea. Especially if he think this is a good idea.

13. Team Thirteen is banned from associating with Mitarashi Anko.

14. Whoever stole Hatake Kakashi's underwear to sell on the black market, give it back to him. He already has a horde of fangirls, he doesn't need anymore.

15. If any of you find summoning scrolls only mentioned in ancient legends, involving some sort of "savior", the "protection of mankind" and "big, out-of-control flying lizards that breathe fire and destroy any buildings within a five mile radius of where they were summoned," don't sign them. Even if the creepy old man you bought it off tells you it's a good idea.

16. You do not have the authority to declare war on any nation, even if their genin teams are annoying brats. You are annoying brats & they don't try to declare war on you.

17. Sasha is banned from making, buying, touching and coming within ten metres of any explosive device. We needed that building.

18. Hengeing into the opposite gender and trying to seduce the jounin from Suna is not a good plan. Even if they fall for it. Sazuki, what is with your team and transvestite tendencies?

19. The same goes for the opposite gender and anyone from any other village, ever, banned. NO MORE.

20. 'Hunky Jounin' is not a good name for a magazine. The aforementioned 'Hunky Jounin' do not appreciate having their photos plastered everywhere, especially not when they have been 'edited'. Kaia, you aren't funny.

21. Sending unsuspecting academy students on a twenty mile 'fun run' is not funny either. Especially not when you've set up traps all along the course.

22. One Jiraiya is more than enough. Stop trying to emulate him.

23. Farmyard animals are not meant to be used in that way. For the sake of our minds, get them out.

24. Sasha, stop addressing the Hokage as your "Slutty mistress". Especially when you're in front of clients. We've already got one complaint of pedophilia in.

25. Painting on fake wounds and pretending to die on the Mission Room floor endears you to no one. Especially not the person who has to mop up the fake blood.

26. You are not mutations aimed at destroying the race of humans, created in Orochimaru's lab. Stop telling people you are.

27. Whoever thought it would be funny to send in porn disguised as mission reports, it wasn't. It's hard enough to get the Intelligence officers to do work without you doing that.

28. Same goes for the tapes. Sazuki, why are your students trying to create a porn industry?

29. Trinity, you are not allowed to cheer Anko on when she has 'crazy bitch fights in the mud' with Kurenai. We don't care if the jounins were cheering with you.

30. Signing official documents as Princess Yuki is not fooling anyone, Sasha.