I've started shipping Yuffie and Kunsel. Yep, I have. I call it 'Yuffsel', and it's probably the second ship I've given to a ship after Larku (and that lemon I wrote a while ago). Anyway, I thought I'd be the first one to write for them. Hooray!
Costa del Sol was the perfect place for someone like her. Well, not the same as maybe her home, but still… At least here, people left their materia lying around. Prime targets for the Single White Rose of Wutai.
She'd made some show of taking a job at the local materia vendor, run by a fat man who had a bad habit of wearing tight Speedos. She liked to call him Fats. When he wasn't looking – which was often – she pocketed one or two materia in her shorts.
She got cocky, though. The old man had gotten a rare materia in stock, and she only had one chance to take it: while he was serving someone else. Thinking herself sneaky, she grabbed the pink orb and put it in her pocket.
The customer just happened to look that way at that exact moment and spotted her. "Sir," he said to Fats, "your assistant is stealing from you."
She took that moment to flee for her life.
Agile as she was, the fat man could never catch her, but she'd be in hiding at least until the next ferry to Junon docked in three days.
As she ran, she heard the man's rumbling, panting voice. "Damn you, Yuffie Kisaragi!"
She passed two men in swimming trunks in her haste to escape. They watched her go before glancing at Fats, who was doubled over and panting.
One of the men, raven-haired and with deep blue eyes, laughed suddenly. "If that's what she was running from, I can't blame her."
The other one of the duo, with light brown hair and blue-green eyes, laughed amicably. "You have a point." He turned to watch the girl, who was still running along the boulevard.
The dark-haired man clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Finally noticing girls, Kunsel?"
The one called Kunsel glared at him. "Just because I care more about my job than girls…unlike you, Zack."
He grinned. "Hey, the ladies love me."
"You'd wanna hope Aerith doesn't hear you say that."
Zack's smile fell and he coughed. "Fair point."
Two days later, Yuffie had bought a green bikini from the gil she received from her last pay check from Fats, and was now hiding from him by blending in with a group of college-aged tourists, who were partying to music blaring from a nearby stereo. Some of them were doing some dirty dancing – bumping and grinding and the rest of it – but Yuffie chose not to lower herself to that level.
When the party began to disperse later in the day, three men walked up to her. There was something lecherous about their smiles, she decided. "Say, the three of us were wondering," one of them – the ringleader, presumably – asked her, "if you had somewhere to stay tonight. We have a spare bed in our hotel room."
"No you don't," Yuffie said matter-of factly. "You're just saying that because you think because I'm wearing a skimpy bikini I'll jump at any opportunity to get into a guy's pants. But trust me. The only way I'd be getting into your pants is to rip your microscopic penises off." She smiled. "Have a nice day!" She moved to leave, but the ringleader grabbed her arm.
"Listen, bitch," he snarled, "no girl ever says no to me."
"I just did." She struggled against his grip. "Get off me!"
"No way," he smirked. "We're gonna have some fun tonight…whether you want to or not."
"Hey!" a voice interrupted. It wasn't either of the offsiders. Everyone turned to see a man in swimming trunks with light brown hair and blue-green eyes. Yuffie vaguely recognised him. He was there the day she got caught by Fats.
"Piss off, loser," the ringleader snarled. "This isn't any of your business."
"It is when it's my girlfriend we're talking about."
"What?!" everyone – including Yuffie herself – chorused.
The man pushed past Tweedledee and Tweedledum – as Yuffie had dubbed the two offsiders – to her side, prising her arm out of the ringleader's arm. Now that she was free, Yuffie decided to name the ringleader, too. She thought Richard McDoucheface worked. Why Richard? Because he was a major Dick.
"I've been looking for you everywhere, honey," Yuffie's hero smiled, putting an arm around her waist. He winked covertly. It was as if he was saying Trust me silently.
Eventually Yuffie put on a smile and looked at Richard McDoucheface and the Tweedles. She poked out her tongue.
McDoucheface started forward, his fists clenched. "Who gave you the right to interfere in my business?!"
"My boss," the hero replied flatly, pulling a leather wallet out of his pocket and holding it open. The three men flinched and ran for the hills.
"Yeah, that's what I thought!" Yuffie yelled after them, not aware that her hero's arm was still around her waist. She looked at him. "You're like my guardian angel, huh?"
The hero put the wallet back in his pocket. "I guess so. You've got a penchant for getting into trouble, don't you?"
"You remembered Fats, huh?"
"What, the fat guy in Speedos? How could I forget?"
Yuffie giggled, an unusual thing for her.
"Oh, I never told you my name," the man said then, smiling as he escorted her off the beach. "It's Kunsel. Kunsel Harringer."
"Call me Yuffie," she replied, smiling.
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you officially, Yuffie."
Yuffie laughed. She spotted the hotel she was staying at. "Oh, that's me."
"Really?" he asked, a smile on his face. "It's me too. Well, me and Zack."
"That friend of yours?"
Kunsel nodded. "He's an idiot, but he's cool. And he has a girlfriend," he added quickly.
"I didn't say anything," Yuffie protested mildly.
The next day, Yuffie decided not to do anything covert. It had only brought more trouble than if she'd climbed onto the clock tower and shouted "I AM YUFFIE KISARAGI AND I AM A MATERIA THIEF!"
Instead, she walked around in a more modest one-piece swimsuit (to avoid a repeat of the McDoucheface incident) on the other side of the beach (to avoid Fats).
Unfortunately, like it was predestined, Fats, Richard McDoucheface and the Tweedles were all talking together. Were they conspiring against her? Of course not. She really needed to stop reading spy novels before bed.
"Hey!" Fats shouted suddenly. "There she is!"
Yuffie flinched and looked at the four. She put on a smile. "Hi, guys. Been a while."
Fats rolled his neck, while McDoucheface and the Tweedles cracked their knuckles.
Oh boy. Where's Guardian Angel Kunsel when you need him?!
Then he appeared beside her. In her mind, she heard wings flap and a fanfare – dun-dun-dun-da-da!
The bullying four didn't back off at all.
"Yuffie," Kunsel told her quietly. "Stay back. I'll handle these guys."
Despite his girth, Fats was the first to rush in at Kunsel with a punch. He dodged it and whacked the large assailant three times in the face. Fats reeled and fell, blood dripping from his shattered nose.
Tweedledee came next. He was much faster than Fats had been, so he was more of a challenge. Still, Kunsel managed to block every strike and punch the guy in the stomach before elbowing him in the spot where his neck and skull joined. Tweedledee didn't get up.
Tweedledum hesitated, until McDoucheface pushed him forward. Kunsel delivered a rabbit punch to the hesitant goon and broke his nose. The goon whimpered and ran.
Growling, McDoucheface ran in, focusing on sheer force rather than any kind of strategy. It was a bad idea, because Kunsel managed to throw the jerk's arms out and deliver an uppercut to his chin. Bones cracked and McDoucheface pulled Tweedledee up and ran.
Fats stood up and bolted, wheezing and clutching his broken nose.
Yuffie walked forward, through the small crowd that had gathered and stood beside him. "My hero. Again."
He smiled self-deprecatingly. "It was nothing."
"Still, I'll reward you. Take out your phone."
Blinking, Kunsel did that.
"Type in this number," she said then, before rattling off a set of numbers.
"Okay…what was that?" he asked when that was done.
"My phone number," she shrugged. "Oh, and one more thing." She got up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. When that was done, she grinned at him and ran to the hotel.
As Kunsel stood there, rooted to the spot, Zack walked up with a grin on his face. "I saw that, you dashing knight, you!"
"Shut up, Zack," he said out of habit, his eyes still looking where Yuffie had just been.
He had a feeling he'd be calling that number a lot.
All aboard the Yuffsel train! XD
REVIEW, please!