I can only think about Lucy; it stops the darkness that would be so easy to give into. It's shocking, really, that the longer this goes on, the more my senses grow stronger. But I think through it all to her. I can't let her down. I can't turn into a crazy Hel-Blar. I can't die & let her down. I just can't.
The pain is shocking- almost like my body has attacked it's self & shut down. I need her. I imagine her. I am weak & exhausted, like I have a fever. By the time I lose conciseness, I don't really care about anything but the thought that I might be able to see her again.