I wrote this a while ago, and looking back at it, even though I deleted this, I felt like I just had to repost it. This was a story I made on one of those "sleepless nights". I'm embarrassed with it, just like I'm embarrassed with a lot of my earlier stuff, but I feel like that doesn't matter. Grunt needs more love. And so does Zaeed. :)
Original Author's Note: I just had to do it. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
Journal Entry 1092:
I don't get it, I still don't get it. I became an Urdnot, I'm part of a clan, yet I still have these… these urges. These feelings boiling up inside of me. I don't know where they come from, and I don't know why I have them.[/ERASED] All the testosterone building up in my body is making me want to smash things, crush them, break them.
But for some reason, for some odd reason, I can't stop looking at…
Zaeed. His muscular complexion, his toned body, that – that scar over the right side of his face. [/ERASED] He's got a pretty interesting scar on the right side of his face, I'm almost jealous. Almost. I have a thing for guys with scars. [/ERASED] I think scars are pretty attractive. [/ERASED] Scars are pretty intense, show you how many battles you fought and stuff. I like fighting. And other manly stuff.
Dinosaurs.
Journal Entry 1093:
Went to the mess hall to eat dinner, caught sight of Zaeed. Noticed the scar on the right side of his face. It got me really bothered and hot. [/ERASED] I wanted to lick it. [/ERASED] I felt like pouncing on him. [/ERASED] I gave him a quick nod, respect for the human who loves fighting as much as I do. The human who I love [/ERASED] find the least boring of all the other weak smooth skins.
He spoke with me today. I almost squealed [/ERASED] groaned with happiness [/ERASED] disgust. He might be handsome [/ERASED] strong [/ERASED] good with a gun [/ERASED] capable, as far as humans go, but he has no right trying to talk to me. If anything, I should be making the move on him [/ERASED] he should speak up to me. I am pure krogan. He should have been in awe.
But he wasn't.
Journal Entry 1094:
Today was not a good day at all. Went over to Zaeed's room to confess my feelings for him [/ERASED] force him to love me [/ERASED] have a civilized chat with him [/ERASED] beat the crap out of him because he pays more attention to that gun Jessie [/ERASED] won't acknowledge my attempts to court him [/ERASED] insulted my mother, my clan, and everyone of clan Urdnot. I don't even have a mother.
I went to confront him, and guess what I see through the window? He's talking to that gun of his about a person he loves. [/ERASED] He's throwing darts at a picture of me. My heart swooned with joy. [/ERASED] My heart filled with rage. I barged into his room, breaking the door open. I said I overheard him and wanted us to be together forever [/ERASED] told him to be a man and fight me.
He declined.
I wailed and asked him why he didn't. He said he didn't love me. He was talking about someone else. My heart broke. [/ERASED] I asked him how he dare insult my people and my name, that I loved [/ERASED] respected him until now. He laughed at me. Called me a fool.
Well I showed him. I cried my eyes out until they turned red. I stayed in my room for the next three days. I wouldn't even let Shepard come into my room. I held myself in the fetal position, wishing that I had stayed in the tank. Wishing I never realized what love was – wishing I never fell in love. [/ERASED] I beat the crap out of him.
Dear Diary,
Grunt came into my room today. I wanted to embrace him in a loving hug. [/ERASED] I was pissed as all hell. Some dreamy [/ERASED] amazing [/ERASED] gorgeous [/ERASED] jackass krogan walks into your room, what're you gonna do? That's what I thought. You'd want to make love to him [/ERASED] love him for who he was [/ERASED] beat the living daylights out of him.
Bugger started crying and everything when I told him it wouldn't work, that my heart belonged to another. [/ERASED] beat the crap outta him. I cried [/ERASED] drank all night, wishing it could have worked [/ERASED] wishing we could be together [/ERASED] wishing that I could beat him to a bloody pulp once more. But I digress.
My heart belongs to him. [/ERASED] I'm going to bed.
Codex 1488A5B2:
Zaeed's been staring at me a lot recently. I don't know why, and it's starting to creep me out. Does he have a thing against turians or something? Gah, why am I even bothering with this? I have to go do some calibrations.