"Well I'm not staying so I'll see you… whenever" he sighed, tuning back towards the door he had just came through.
"What are you talking about?" Zoe asked, looking incredulous. She glanced fleetingly at Charlie, before turning back to him; Nick Jordan.
He turned back around and looked at her, glancing between her and the door – his escape route. "Don't make me do this, not here… please" he pleaded with her, willing her to let it go, to let him go.
"What?" she asked, not fully comprehending what was happening.
"The whole goodbye thing… I… I can't" he trailed off softly, looking between her and the others in the vicinity whose interests had now been piqued.
"Goodbye?!" she questioned, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes.
"Well you don't need me anymore, do you?" he tried to be jovial, lighten the mood – he could see the tears forming in her eyes, the barriers she had built around herself breaking down. "You're going perfectly well without me" he spoke to her but gestured to the whole team. "time for me to move on" he could see Louise and Dixie exchanging glances from the corner of his eye, he knew he had to get out of there.
Zoe looked at him "Move on? Where to?" she asked.
"Michigan" he replied with a nod "Eh… maybe. There's somebody out there with whom I used to work"
"Anton Meyer" Charlie butted in to the conversation, having being listening with renewed interest.
"It could just work" he answered him directly "all I know is I can't stay here. Well, in Holby anyway" He looked at her face, he could see the emotion written across it. "Too many memories." His stamen was directed to her, although he was unsure if it was about her now, he'd loved Yvonne too, but Zoe had always held that place in his heart. "Look after it ok." He raised his voice this time "All of you! You look after it. Keep doing what you do, you make this department the very best it can be." He nodded and turned away, turned his back on them and on her. He could feel them all watching him as he left.
It took her a moment to comprehend what had happened before she went after him; chasing him from the pub in her stilettos. "Nick" she called softly, hoping he'd wait and save her running in her shoes. He didn't. "Nick?!" She called again, hearing him tut softly as she did. She was catching up with him now, as he paused at the car to remove his coat "Nick" she tries for a third time, cursing herself as she heard the emotion in her own voice, she hated being weak. He turned around just as she reached him, she wasted no time in wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Hey" he whispered to her, rubbing her back gently "Hey… come one" he pulled back and pushed her hair from her face, kissing her softly. "Life goes on" he got into her car, she stood watching him as he rolled the window down "You'll be great without me" he turned the ignition on and again, she stood watching him as he drove away.
"No" she called after him, hoping he'd heard her "No!" she breathed a sigh of relief as he slowed down the car, stopping mere yards from where he'd already been parked. She got into the passenger side and looked at him "Please don't do this Nick, please don't go" she reached across the car and took his hand "you don't have to go."
"Zoe…." He sighed, squeezing her hand gently "You don't need me anymore, you never needed me" he assured her, reaching across her and opening the door, hinting for her to get out the car.
She sighed heavily "at least give me a lift home?" she looked at him, her eyes silently begging for an extra few minutes with him.
He conceded, watching as he ran back inside to her things and appeared moments later.
"Thanks she smiled, getting back in the car, watching as he pulled out onto the main road and took the first right towards her house, a road they had driven together so many times. The drove in silence, he concentrating on the road and she on him. The minutes passed quickly and she nodded to him as he pulled into her driveway. "I'll miss you" she whispered in the darkness of the car, leaning over and placing a hand on his cheek as she kissed him slowly, waiting to see if he responded. He did.
He pushed all of his emotion into the kiss, all the hurt, anger and love he had felt towards her over the years. He got out of the car quickly and opened the door at her side, pulling her into her apartment. He kissed her again, wasting no time in picking her up and carrying her to her bedroom. He treated her like a princess, the way he always had. Taking her to the highest peaks and back down the other side. He watched her as she slept; on her stomach with both hands under her pillow. He was at war with himself as he got up and dressed, walking quietly downstairs and leaving her a note "I'm sorry" was all it said. With that he left, driving into the darkness and not looking back.
She instinctively reached out for him as she woke the next morning, disappointed to find cold sheets. He wasn't there, not in her bed or anywhere in her house. She felt a tear slip down her cheek as she spotted the note on her hallway table and gripped it tightly in her fist. One more night, that's what she had wanted and that's what he had given her…