This is a song-fic from the song "Anywhere But Here" by Mayday Parade! (You might wanna listen to it before reading this, it would help) I just thought of the idea of this when I was listening to the song a few days ago. This takes places the night Jo left for New Zealand.

Warnings: Cutting, Character Death (MAYBE!)

Disclaimer!; I'm a 14 year old Rusher...do you REALLY think I own the show? If you did... then your a idiot.

Music looks like this music. Thoughts look like this 'thoughts'

*Kendall's PoV*

Tonight is the one thing yet,

And I haven't said it yet but,

I'm falling, and the writings on the wall.

I don't know if I can take anymore of this pain. All I feel right now is pure misery. Jo just left for New Zealand this afternoon and I have been feeling this way since. She was my distraction...from him. My one true love...James. Without her here to help me keep my mind off him...all I think of is how he'll never be mine.

Today was misery,

And I can't believe this happened.

She held on to my heart,

And now my only star is falling,

and its burning to the ground.

Now I'm coming out.

I'm not upset about Jo leaving. Well, I am but...like I said, she was my distraction from him. She held on to my heart, but James will always be the owner of it. My heart is shattering just thinking about how he'll never love me. He's falling from my night sky, to never become mine.

Secret Love, my escape!

Take me far, far away.

Secret love, are you there?

Will you answer my prayer?

Please, take me anywere but here.

'Aw' I thought as my phone started to ring. 'My secret love is trying to call me.' Anywhere but here by Mayday Parade was the rigntone I had for when James called me. I completly described how I felt right now. The song took the words right of my mouth. Please James, my secret love, take me form this hell and just be mine. Secret love answer my prayer, get me out of bed and love me.

You all I got right now,

You're the only one who figures out this feeling,

and how lonely it can get.

Unrequited Love...it hurts like a bitch. I know no one else knows that how I'm feeling right now, but at least I know you've felt like this before. It was back in Minnesota, I believe it was the beginning of 9th grade and you were just starting to become really depressed. Logan, Carlos, and I were trying desperately to get you out of bed. You only talked to me how you felt, but you never told me who you felt this way for. It didn't really bother me though, I just wanted you to be happy. Now, I feel that way and I need you. Carlos and Logan have each other,[a/n: Cargan!] they don't know this feeling like you and I do. Suddenly, James comes bursting into our room, eyes of concern looking right at me. His magnificent hazel eyes lock my puffy, blood-shot green ones for what seems like forever, but I think it was only 10 seconds, before he started making his way to my bed.

"James, please...I'm not in the mood to talk." He completely ignores what I just said and sits on the edge of my bed.

"Kendall, Jo leaving...its not a big deal! Its just 3 months and there going to fly by with Me, Logan, and Carlos by your side!" I didn't respond, I just turned so that I was looking outside my window, my back to James. I feel so conflicted right now...I want to tell him I love him but...I can't handle rejection. He sighs to these actions and starts talking again.

"You know, its not healthy to just lay in bed and cry." He said this, his voice filled with pure concern. When I heard this I just wanted to pounce him and just start kissing him but...I knew I couldn't do that. So I decided to to what I did best, push my problems away, to deal with them later.

"Just leave me alone James! I just want to lay here alone!" I say my voice sounding surprisingly stern, even though I was lying right through my teeth. I would die just for James to lay beside me and tell me he loved me and-no! I can't think this way! It will make EVERYTHING worse!

"I hate seeing you like this Kenny. I mean, seriously, its just Jo and-" "Its not fucking about her okay!" 'Shit' was all I could think of when I said that. 'Now hes going to be dying to find out why I'm so depressed.'

"Wait, if its not about her then-" Before he can finish his sentence I forcefully kick him off my bed.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I hiss, tears brimming my eyes.

"FINE! I was just trying to help! But noooooooo, just lay here in bed for the rest of your damn life! I don't fucking care! Nobody does!" And with that, James stammered off the ground and slammed the door. All I could do was cry, knowing James was completely right. I should just lay in bed...Nobody fucking cares.