White Wedding
Tpau-Now
Spock announces he is going to be late of course. No man that good looking has to be punctual to be admired.
The crowd of Vulcans which should have been small and simple, were swelling to the edges of the great cavern. This is the first Koon-at-kal-I-fee on the new world. While two couples have reaffirmed their bound, and one hundred and five children have been born, this is still a special occasion for all. The colony has arrived to witness it for some reason that is nothing like logic but all Vulcan Minds agree too.
Tsai T'pau, head of the Vulcan council, exits the transporter site and her porters try to straighten her litter. She is carried by two incomplete males. Stohlen (unmanned in a traffic accident) and Sor (who did not complete the Kahswar realizing at the end of the end of the trip he was transgender.) She is not without protection in the swell of crowd. In this new world, there is always some need of Honaya, get-togethers, and T'pau is brought by her attendants to each one who guard her body from the chaos of the crowd.
Spock. His duty in Star Fleet requires him to run around in a human clothing and he has no time to change into his bridal garb. There is no bridal surplice, no armor. It is tight body revealing clothing it is at once shocking and suitable. Though Vulcan armor is revealing it is still somehow tradition. In his uniform, you can see the shape of his arms, the swagger of his hips. It is wrong, but somehow right, as all things about this man are. You can see his wrist bone carelessly exposed. It is bad enough women go out in uncovered hair and exposed cleavage, but now many young men will adapt this affectation, or perhaps join Star Fleet themselves to cut a dashing figure at their Koon-at-kal-I-fee.
Before now, T'pau did not have the chance to know Spock's incredible nature as she had T'pring over the months after Vulcan-that-was on the New Colony, She and T'pring met nearly weekly working to stabilize the damage done to the Katric Arc, until the girl's Pon Farr had began to rage. All she knows of Spock these days is his reputation.
Spock is a planetary hero. A proud logical man of honor. He returned to save the Katric Arc. He stopped the War Criminal Nero, who went rogue from the Romulan Star Empire, His bravery saved the entire Planet of Earth, the Federation HQ, Star Fleet from destruction, he spared two worlds from complete annihilation, the masses adore him with an almost human ardor. There is talk of appointment to the Vulcan High Council among the populus, though it is unlikely. Women petition the High Council to name their children after him, (though he is still living and it never popular in the canons) His exploits on the Enterprise are noted in both media and rumor. There is such a thing as celebrity in Earth Society, a person who is noted and the general population comes to admire and emulate. Spock is a Vulcan Celebrity, famous for his fame.
From the crest of the hill she can see him in the center of the circle of Monoliths which surround the mouth of the Caverns. T'pau opens up the Hidden Eyes in her mind and saw his true essence.
She dismisses a mild feeling, a pride that radiates when they all see Spock. He materializes in the transporter needful and warm. The brown in his eyes warmly glow, seeming demonic and haunted like superstitious apparation.
He chants as the transporter clouds dissapate in a cloud of stars.
He stands in the meeting area in the circle of stones. It is not the family lands but it is a close enough approximation. She can see him approach looking for the marriage gong. From so far away she can feel him approach.
From an Early age, T'pau was a rare pyschic, perhaps one of the few living Masters now. She, unlike any other Vulcan, can use meditation to open the Hidden eye which sees beyond her eyes, at great distances, and then sees the katra without illusion. For good or bad, it is how she was born. Spock's true form is before her. He has a blue glow from him. It streams from his body. It is glamorous.
His Katra, unlike every other Vulcan's, had a Hue. A glittering cool blue, almost silvery and subtle, blazing like te-resh-kah* feathers from seven points in his form. The Katra itself revealing his mixed heritage. Neither completely static or erratically dynamic. For a Human's true essential being had more connections to their body then a Vulcan's Katra, at least Seven times they intersect. She had been told by Human monastics it could be something called chakra or qui or the soul. But it could be they were unique to him. Human katra were light things which scattered at death, transcending material bonds, like a hundred stars. Vulcan's katras were heavy simple and weighted, like objects but no less precious.
The humans did not know this themselves but often the powerful color and light shining off of the human spirit was almost offensive. It was worse and more garish then their smell. Their unpleasant odor could be masked. Vulcans had been trained since desert days to avoid anything of too bright a hue as poisonous and foul. Spock's katra is throbbing and the points were his body and soul intersect. Each one pulses in time with the thunder in his heart. His strange heart is louder then the hearts of others, but pulsing with the same plak.
When T'pau sees the little humans like curious animals approach with Spock. She is not surprised. They are precocious intelligent creatures, and not logical enough to curtail curiosity. She should have expected that some humans would intrude despite all their precautions to find the caverns. If she saw a herd of 600 Humans on the hills of her estate in such an assembly, she would wonder what they were doing and go to see them. But this is more then a meddlesome curiosity. She can see them like soul eaters, with piercing color and light. The bonds of their affection make a friendship stronger then she has ever seen. Sometimes so strong they guard it with jocularity and little arguments. They will leave no soul behind. One human is the Captain that Spock trusts so much he lets him command, though he is another Race. The other man is a healer. They have come to protect him. Waving their little guns and padding carefully. Like two grass-nibbling k'nurt* ignoring a sehlat's* six inch claws, when all the while a stalking le-mataya* stands between them.
The great houses that still live have come to see this wedding below the sea, in the new world.
This was to be the first Koon-at-kal-I-fee to be held on the world. It was blessed that the son of Sarek would come in to his time as soon as the Kalifar facilities had been built. They had chosen the Caverns of N-ter-Prys (Enterprise) by the Western Sea, In the deepest driest hole of a canyon hundreds of feet below the sea level. (Yes this planet had salty seas to the far west, where is was wet and grassy, All in all despite the weather not a terrible place for resettlement for those who wish for a more stable food and water supply. This was a matter of survival.)
It was by happenstance that the great houses found those hidden Caverns during the many Expeditions. The Federation was not informed of their existence. It was a great wide network of underground caves that reached from the Settlement to edge of the Continent, which might serve as a meeting place for all the Kalifar for years to come for all the Vulcanir. And its greatest defense if Invaders came again.
The Great Houses had no longer the power to stand alone. The great families only controlled cultivated by their own hands, not which was passed on from generation to generation. The Federation was not opposed to this system. Humans did not believe in possession of land (Which was a strange concept.) But lack of land possession and the network of resources had gutted the societal structure. Many clans eliminated, many fortunes lost. Vulcan was not only on the verge of starvation, there was a chance that they may have to go back to currency and commerce. The Incident had catapulted them thousands of years into the past.
The Humans were passionate in helping the Vulcans rebuild their world but this was no time for them to interfere. This was a Vulcan matter.
Things were changing rapidly.
The Caverns of N-ter-Prys was far away from the settlement. The Houses of Shintar and Sarek used precious transporter credits to arrive without the prying eyes of the humans. Some Vulcans traveled by foot and commercial transport to the great meeting. The bridal parties was not only a half dozen retainers, but nearly 200 for each party. And it was officiated by the head of the Vulcan High Council, T'pau.
She would have done this even if it was not the union of two great houses. Two Decades ago and one year, T'pau had made the match and forged the mating bond. Despite everything that had happened in holocaust and ruin, Romulans and Humans, she was there to see it through. It was the little things like this that kept her alive. Let them make this planet their new home.
As T'pau closes her eyes, She remembered making this match. For even the head of the Syrrian order needs a hobby, hers was to be match maker. She had been successful in pairing many unbounded Vulcans, even adults whom were considered unmatchable. Someone impartial to help forge the bonds of the future. While Children did it on the whims of beauty and charm, the Parents did it for wealth and connection, only she could claim, to care about the future prosperity. In this cutthroat world of Vulcan Courtship, she was the only ally to Logic.
Their Horoscopes, blood lines and ages had made them a once in a lifetime convergence. She brought T'pring from a thousand miles away to meet Spock the first time. Now he traveled across star systems light years apart to his Koon-at-kal-I-fee.
T'pring, daughter of Soren, cousin of Shintar, of the house Shintar is beautiful, she does not dare look any less then her best. She is a Kohlinar Adept, the granddaughter of T'lar and T'zaia in eugenic alchemy have crafted T'pring, a girl who is only beginning to show the strength of her bloodlines.
One who could be adept in the art of Fal-tor-pan, she could be fal-tor-pan master, while T'pau only fumbles Katra into jars, and lives on the pity of Surak. Even a Qomi man, Archer, had shamed her in this. T'pring would be a guide, a judge and a facilitator and able to restore life to a corpse. She had seen and felt it with her own inner eyes.
T'pring wears a white dress with a silver shine, short in the front with a long train. She painted her eyes with silver over her tawny skin. Her hair is plaited and arranged in the branches of a willow that does not exist on this world. A tree with water sucking roots so deep they can upturn roads and houses. The Love Tree. It is no more. She does not dress in the traditional purple robes of the wedding. She dresses for him.
Her friends have not elected to join the wedding party. Not one other female has set beside her. They still must walk for several steps, as they reach the place. As they did at koon-ut-katr-la when she was but a tiny seven year-old girl.
"Child?"
T'pau looks around for well wishers and women attendant on her hair and dress. T'pau sees none for the young woman. T'pring is not an easy woman, but to be left of companions this time is a thing that should induce shame in the weak. She was a compelling beauty, and spent little effort except on her beauty before the End of Vulcan. Now she was to marry Ambassador Sarek's only son.
"Do thy wish intercourse, child?" T'pau asks
"It would please me madam as my intended is late." She says.
"He does not come from down the road. It is illogical to expect this to go smoothly."
"Spock. He will do more to me then this. My lady and colleague tell me what I may do." T'pring seems weak.
"Do what is logical." T'pau says.
"I have and it will do nothing."
T'pau holds her face, like a mother might her daughter in some inane manner. There is no bond between the women in blood. The blood lines have circumvented them, though many of their station are cousin, near cousin, and some say even near brothers and near sisters. T'pring is not her concern. T'pau tucks a curl into her bun, trying to remember this, and not remember her lovely daughter.
"They have tear ducts. You might see their pain dribble out their eyes. Do you think Spock has this capacity? To shed pain through tears."
"I know not of Spock, but Vulcans have given up this capability. He may have made the decision not to indulge in what is natural to him. He may not have the choice of his biology," T'pau said.
"And what of our sophisticated Vulcan biology?" T'pring's voice is bitter.
"Does thou use Sarcasm with me child?"
This line of inquiry is interrupted. Stonn approaches them, via transport. He is in the wedding garb, steel armor and Shimal brocade tunic. The colorless armor silvery armor of a challenger and attendant.
"Stonn… My Grandson… What?" T'pau is surprised to see him. Stonn is the only one of her direct family to be considered alive. He approaches her. She remembers that equanimity is a virtue of priestesses and leaders, and does not resent him for his foolish garb. She also does not regret that he is her ONLY blood kin, and that on his future, the Blood line of Xius and Surak and many other genetic strains rely.
"Tpring has none in her house to attend her in the bridal train. I am prepared to attend on her for the ceremony."
"I told you to stay in the city this day." T'pring's voice was diamond stern.
"You are T'pring's companion." T'pau says "I may not look up without seeing you in each others … confidence." She says "It is known throughout the colony."
"Stonn what do you do?" T'pring hissed. "GO away. Go back to the city."
"Foremother. She is allowed this. Her closest companions should be there. Those she sees as her friends."
"I have no companions. Thanks to thee." T'pring does not look him in the eyes "Vulcans do not need any companions. We are independent creatures and such bonds seduce each other to ridiculous behavior."
He looks at her.
"Stonn. How long before Plaktow will settles in your body, in my presence?"
You will…"
T'pau looked at him, "It is a logical inquiry, boy-child" T'pau looks at her grandson. She needed no mind-meld to tell what was to occur.
"You are allowed this, T'pring"
"Only to-"
"Foolish boy. You… You are… Spock will attack thee when his Plaktow is imminent."
Stonn looks into her eyes "I see this as a simple matter, Grandmother and Foremother. He attacks me. I will fight him. It is only logical." Stonn bows "Let us go. I know you have a preference for arriving as early as possible, T'pring."
He takes three steps behind her.
"After you ladies." He allows them to lead.
T'pau- Twenty-One Years ago
T'pau remembered the boy she met. Large eyes glowed in reverence of her, the Syrranite Abbess, the new Head of the Vulcan High Council. The Commander in Chief of the Vulcan Space Forces, Foremother of the Clan of Surak's Blood Line.
His eyes were the very color of a chocolate. Indulgent and pale. Eyes too red to be born of Vulcanir. They are some alien color. She has seen this sheen in eyes of the Lady Amanda. The Qomi… The human outworlder. His mouth stretched from screaming and yawning, now stuck shut, as if speaking a word would cause her to eat him. He was a winsome delicate thing then, still sickly.
He looked up at her. His eyes and jaw evinced primal fear. She will kill me if I make a mistake. He projected in his innocence.
She addressed his inner thoughts "Kill you boy? Is it illogical to assume a woman who has come all this way to meet you would kill you? Do you think I will hurt you? Even though I do no know you and have done me no wrong?"
"Madam perhaps it is a metaphor. That I will do something wrong and you will scold me." Spock looked to his feet to hide his strange pale eyes. "A metaphor madam is a construction of the imagination that…"
"I know what a metaphor is child." She said, a child explaining simple things to her. She looked at him closely. She did not make a motion to touch his skin, and extract the information through telepathy but his defense tumbled.
"I am afraid of being scolded." He admitted himself to her.
"Vulcans do not give into fear or anger." T'pau said.
"Yes Ma'am, Tsai-T'pau, I swear I will never ever ever ever do that. Honestly." The panicked capitulation is not strange but disappointing.
He is so eager to be a without emotions that he can never be without them.
"If you cannot help it, these two are the most damaging. Life is very long. Do not expect to reach Kohlinar as fast as a star ship goes to warp speed. You can only go as fast as you are strong. Eliminate Fear and Anger. Can you try this for me?"
"My mother said that many humans believe this can take many ages, lifetimes and even incarnations to do such a thing. A second of anger shall have such violent consequences to the spirit that it will be felt for a thousand years." Spock related to her. He has worried much on the topic of anger.
T'pau nodded "Your mother is wise as a priestess and has not been remiss to teach you to respect the ways of the Spirit. If Vulcanir women were as careful Tsai Amanda there would be no illogic in the world." She motioned Spock to sit across from T'pring and not pace the room.
She had to remember that despite the appearance, Spock's blood is not weak. His Vulcan blood is thin, but he could be strong, if bearing the vigors of survival.
T'sai Amanda, now there was a mind. She was a dangerous woman and a woman who truly apprehended the danger of emotions.
It is hard for many to believe that Amanda did not die during Pon farr or the Woman's Trials or ATE her son in the birthing cave, the way humans carry on with their excessive animal natures. If there was a single creature that could teach Spock to eliminate his fears, it may be her. Because of the progress the elegant Vulcan sciences, Vulcan hybrids were born more frequently every year, But Spock was the only one of these children born during a Pon Farr. Not only child but Blood Heir. When Amanda was not working at her school, she taught at the temple of Shan, mind discipline and Tehrn yoga. To those who did not know her, she seemed peaceable and innocent. But there was something, ancient about Amanda, T'pau thought had the carriage of an adept of T'pel, from those old murals, thin and eternally girlish. She kept in a fluffy frothy surface of laughter and self-deprecation. Before Surak's day, one like Amanda could have killed many to prove the keenness of her mind and become a priestess, what she lacked in body strength she made up in spirit, in an inverse relation. It did border on perversion that a woman who could not lift more then 37kg could be stronger then an a Vulcan.
This strange virtue tied to the Bloodline and Genetic Line of Surak who knows what this Spock might accomplish in the spiritual realm. Since Spock was in the standard of deviation, he might be revealed a secret Princess, if Priestess T'lar could be trusted… and T'lar could raise a corpse to life.
T'pring was seated with such self possession. She wondered if the girl alive. She does not stir but the flutter of her hand, which held a fan. Shikar is very warm compared to Tpileh and she is not used to Shikari modesty, her body is in long robes and her sleek hair is uncovered. T'lar's and T'zai's granddaughter, T'pring is the niece to a Kohlinar Master, cousin to the house of Shintar. She is the only female in a house of Spiritual giants. She is no Shikari, but of Tpelih. Born and Bred in Dhikune the smallest towns, where the masters live in austerity, indulging in no modern convenience and strict meditation for their waking hours. The traffic and noise of Shikar makes her even more still and cautious then before.
Soren would have been Kohlinar Master, had he not had family and clan to bring him from spiritual concerns. Though the only act of compassion the dark skinned Soren ever did was take his daughter to his teat. She was fed of the milk of a man who would trade her life for the chance for Kohlinar. He wished her to be Kohlinaru by the time she was fifty. With such delicate preparation, this girl has found Path to Kohlinar easy to tread. She is as beautiful as the boy is cute. She did nothing to attract T'pau's attention. Her aura is icy, and trembled right under her skin. There is a phenomena where the rain reaches the point of freezing and floats down into the earth in a soft white feather-like shapes. One gets the irrational impression that if you were to touch T'pring that such and event would occur here on Vulcan.
"Spock what do you think of this one?"
Spock puts his arms behind his back. "She is very beautiful. Everyone tells me we will be married. I will be very good and do everything I can to make her life prosperous and successful. I want to make her happy."
T'pau heard his little voice falter. "Or you will be scolded?" T'pau asked.
Spock looked at his feet.
T'pring looked at her not him. "I have not been happy before, so it is not necessary thing to my life. Spock is speaking strangely to me. Make him stop."
"Do you find beauty in him as he does you?"
"He has good bones and his hands…" She said "They are the hands of a future master."
He was flattered and barely suppresses his pride. T'pring is horrified at the surge of warmth. The desire to do good, the thirst for her approval and love.
She lowered her head and closed her eyes. She got a color in her skin like an aquamarine "But he talks too much. His nose dribbles. He is a very young Vulcan, My lady." She returned. She had mysterious eyes, even for a Vulcan, and a silent eye, T'pau's keen psychic vision had not been able to determine. She could be just try to be mean, to dispel the feelings of attachment Spock has for her. She made a decision to change her manner to get what she wants out of life. T'pau is a bit proud but that is just a feeling.
"Very very young. And not suitable to any purpose yet." T'pring spoke more gently, a gentler tone to her voice.
Spock, perhaps delusional, thought that by this tone of voice, (not by her cruel words) she didn't really mean the swipe of cruelty, which paradoxically aggravated his need for her approval more.
"I have series of queries for the both of you. Before the bond is created. Most serious and personal queries. We will not be able to attend Koon-at-katr-la, if we are not able to prepare. And as a result, your mating will be a failure. You would not be able to go to the Koon-at-katr-la until you were fourteen and chances of a successful mating would be infinitesimal."
"We must work hard then to make sure we are ready." Spock said.
It was a hard first day. Amanda was not allowed into the room with the children, but tapped her foot so loudly to Vulcan ears. T'pau was surprised at the human's behavior. Generally you could not tell the dainty human woman from a proper Vulcan. That day, T'pring came, Amanda covered her hair and she could not see her famously round and little ears. There were those who thought she was a Vulcan woman until they saw her struggle with a light shopping bag, startle at a noise or came up with some word no one had ever heard before. But do something cruel to her son, and she would fly into emotional fury.
The little thing's aura positively blinds! It has the bright blue of a poison frog . It was almost a gaudy thing which distracts T'pau as she interviewed the children for their match. And the woman was in the next room.
They forgot that Tsai Amanda is not Vulcan and does not have shields, just discipline. Discipline that is fading fast. Fear and a furious anger ebbed off of her body. Spock and T'pring cannot help to be nervous from her erratic behavior, young as they are. They do not have the shields to ignore her. But also they have never seen a woman so angry before. Spock did not remember a time that Mother was angry like this. At him. At Vulcans. It is intense and pierces through walls. He continued his shameful delusions and thought he had made some error. As if Spock was responsible for following his biological imperative and finding a wife.
T'pring had not heard a human voice before, she swallowed the fear like an adult. So much anger makes their childish stomach's roil. After four hours, they heard the Qomi speak.
"He is a baby. He is my baby. And why is she asking him that….are asking him questions like that."
Sarek was steady, and drew her from their company. "It will be well. We have agreed to this. If we are the ones to stop this we will be foresworn. This is our way. This has gone unchanged." Sarek said "You swore before T'lar. It is an oath before Gods and Men. Spock is to complete the Forge in 23 days. This is to be."
"I never did like these goddamn Vulcan Ultimatums." Amanda paced.
"Amanda you are she that is my wife. Bonded by Happenstance. Your emotional reactions have never dominated your adherence to logical principles. Your emotions may have confused me but they have been irrelevant to our mutual benefit. Whatever they say of you. Must I doubt your commitment to the Vulcan way."
"While in the discussion of this matter. You said 'You can do whatever the hell you want. I don't care.' So we pledged our troth. If you still had arguments you should have made them before."
"I do not want to lose my baby. I…"
"You are not going to lose him. He is to be wed. In a variety of circumstances the males usually bring their brides to the larger manor. He will still be present."
"But… Sarek can't you understand. My attachment to him is stronger than I intended. These are not thoughts I could ever discipline. These thoughts are me, at my esscence. I am sorry. My discipline fades. I cannot understand it through. You can't talk me into it. I was …I do not like this. There is something wrong with this match. This is not the way it is supposed to be. Fuck it."
Amanda lost her ability to speak Vulcan, and she returned the coarse yet musical Standard to her husband about doubts. Saying things like "Ridiculous." And "T'Pau must be a closet pedophile." It is all high speed and intense language and the woman is panting in the thin Vulcan air. She started to short out the sub-dermal translators with illogical metaphors and speed, and her words are lost, and Sarek and his wife gabble in private. Spock was aware of what she was saying, did not translate and in fact seemed embarrassed further.
T'pau meant no cruelty. She should have corrected the woman but after everything is said and done she is Qomi, but human. Amanda had honored their ways as best she could, and T'pau could not find illogic in letting Qomi be she was made and let the woman have her moment.
Amanda was told to leave the sessions. As she left her own house, she walked out the door staring at the three of them, her resentment burned T'pau like a black iron, too hot to see the flame. T'pau only does the best she can for Spock. The emotion burned. There are many words for anger and fear in Qomi tongue. There is a joke that humans have so many emotions they must not feel anything at all very deeply. But this is terrible thing. T'pau knew there will be a scar between her and the human woman, which will heal but is ugly and dark. This is for the children's sake, Not Amanda's. When Amanda gone, it became more normal and they all can focus on the bond.
The one thing they had in common is that these children both have profound psychic facility. Their bonds forge quickly as if it is a game. Both are very ambitious, both are intelligent, and have active minds. Spock's mind is still soft and pure, like well water. His thoughts are little but animals, computers and guilt, flowing swirling moving. Silty and foggy. T'pring's minds has a more rubbery quality, like wet clay. Her mind is like a road, with glittering Kohlinar in the distance. Her body but a tool to attain Kohlinar. They have not built their minds yet, an empty landscape. These are all metaphors of an untrained Vulcan mind. Their bond needs space to grow. If it is made while soft, they can become one, their mind growing around the bond as if it is not there, as if they were made for each other.
Perhaps it was merely Vulcans accounting for the one factor they have yet to control after millenia of mental discipline, affinity. The unspeakable quality that induces a desire to not only cooperate but be affectionate.
Affinity paired Sarek with Qomi woman. Affinity placed T'pau in the bed of the Prime Minister. That mysterious quality unable to be determined by current study of science and spirituality.
While they are taking a break from their meditation. T'pau watched them by the fountain alcove. Spock reached his hand for hers as he has seen men do with their wives holding out his finger and licking his lips. She ignored him, trying to continue her resting meditation.
When this failed, he got up from his lotus position. He climbed into the fountain, where a daisy grew delicately between the stones. He pulled it from it's roots that he shakes the dirt from. "If you are nervous, I will reassure you I have carefully considered our life together T'pring, I have thought long about having a wife and wanted one from my earliest days." The boy said "My mother is behaving illogically."
"She is a human. Are they not illogical in nature?"
"That is racist. Qomi are logical AND illogical." Spock said. "Some days they are logical, conducting themselves as Vulcans do. Some days they are… not. Some days they are Crazy." He spit out the Qomi word casually. Though T'pau and T'pring recognize it as Amanda said it fifteen times.
"Crazy sounds awful." T'pring pursed her lips in consideration.
"It is the most apt invective of mental illness which is not only embarrassing but indulgent and immature and does not merit any pity. Language that describes emotion is very exact in Standard."
T'pring asked "How do you determine when they are going to be logical?"
"It is impossible to determine." Spock said. "Even if one understands Human Society. They just… become illogical."
"Both Logical and Illogical. That is illogical too." T'pring tried not to think about it too hard. "And Ki-ra-zee." She pronounced the word.
"You have to get used to them." Spock said.
T'pring looked at him, "Your mother does not like me. I have angered her."
"I do not care to obey her." Spock grumbled "If she hates marriage so much she would have not gotten married herself. Marriage is a logical thing." He looked disquieted at his mother's harsh words. It flickered over his delicate face. "You will always have a companion. You can make babies. You will have someone to interact with who will help you make the most logical decisions. You will never be alone. Married is a preferable state of existence."
"Spock what are you doing up there? Your position is precarious." T'pring asked.
Spock knelt at her lap. He handed her the blossom. "This is a gesture of human courtship. If we are to be intended, I will do it the human way too, to prove to you I have not been forced into wedlock by tyrannous abuse of my civil liberties as my mother insists."
"I do not- I do not do such a thing. You are my intended to be." He held out the flower. Her loveliness fills him with awe. "Take this flower from me." He said.
Their fingers touched. Spock has never kissed a girl either. T'pring and him lock eyes for many moments. T'pring did not know what to do with the gift, but took it. She has never met anyone like him and was very afraid because she cannot know him.
"Now that means we are in love." Spock looked to her "And our romance has been accomplished. It would be illogical to not do these things in their proper sequence. Humans must be in love to marry. Then we will start to have children, if the old human proverbs are correct. First comes love, then marriage next comes infants.
"Infants, I am not biologically mature." she looked at her stomach, a slight fear and ignorance of human anatomy made her feel illogical fear "Have you impregnated me asexually like a spore?…" She felt her belly "Help I am too small for pregnancy! I am but seven."
"No" Spock pet her belly "You must be married first or the fetus is not viable, obviously." Then you must…" He scanned his memory." He sang "First comes love, then comes marriage. Next is a baby in a baby carraige." Spock repeated the old human proverb. "We have some rather vague objectives to accomplish for our future. But we must one day soon 'kay Iye ess ess Iye enn gee' in a large tree that can support both of our weights."
T'pring did not really wish to hold this flower. Spock nodded with a sense of accomplishment.
"If I set it down does that mean we are not in love Spock…"
Spock shook his head 'no', but really does not know, ignorant of the subtleties of Qomi courtship. He scratched the back of his head.
Some hours later, T'pau leads them in a guided meditation to begin to connect the two in the betrothal bond . They were in private mediation.
"Let your guards down, let me see your minds, children." T'pau asked them.
Their transparent thoughts filter through T'pau's mind. Being young most thoughts as simple phrases, like speech in a large room. They have no privacy, no subtlety. It is why bonds must be made young before the clouds of experience hid the true minds.
She witnessed Spock's loving fanfare of Tpring. So desperate and tinged with that intractable of emotions… Enthusiasm.
"T'pring is the greatest Vulcan I have ever met. She is wise and logical. If she lets me serve her needs, then I will have a great contentment. If she marries me, I will prove beyond doubt that my existence is logical and worthwhile. I wish to fill her life with enjoyment and see to her every need and enrich her. If you just let me make you happy…then I will be happy. I wonder if we will have babies one day…
T'pring's mind is more regimented. The thoughts childish yet bittersweet paean of duty and responsibility, weighing each against each other, her arguments childish and still forming.
Number 1: Spock has potential to be a mate who will have many irrelevant flaws.
(section 2)If well educated he will become a mate sufficient to every need and want.
Exception: His need for love is not a negligible or irrelevant flaw.
Number 2: I work for to reach Kohlinar
(section 2)Kohlinar is the purgation of all emotions
(paragraph) Including Positive emotions)
Exception: I am not competent enough to meditate through my Pon Farr, where in I will lose all control. Those who seek Kohlinar may go through Pon Farr, those who reach and master Kohlinar cannot.
Number 3: Love is a state that generally induces a variety of emotions, both positive and negative
(section 2)The positive emotions are harder to resist then negative ones.
(section 2a) And the nature of Love also means that there might be negative emotions induced as well which are negative
Conclusion: If Spock makes me love him, then I will be unable to reach Kohlinar.
Solution: (1)Tell Spock of the paradox, so he can amend his behaviors. If he does wish me to not be harmed he could not deny my request.
(2) Tell T'pau I do not wish to marry Spock and become foresworn and a pariah of Vulcan Society. This is the wrong choice
(3) The Illogical choice.
Happy? Happy? Happy?
Quiet Quiet Quiet Quiet
Together Happy? Happy? Happy? Tpring
Alone Quiet Quiet Quiet QUIET!
"No." T'pring stood from her lying position.
"You are not an amenable companion." She fisted her hands left the room.
Spock stood up "We have to get married, Your father said… Come back here!" He ran after her "I will tell your parents."
"I do not care. I have to leave your presence!" T'pring actually shouted, shouting loudly turning her face blue.
T'pau watched them stunned and lets them run. Her own mind removed.
After ten minutes of silence they return.
"I have the situation in Hand, Tsai T'pau." Spock has his hand behind his back. "I have never had intercourse before. I was inexpert and apologize for emotional transference."
"It is not right to answer emotion with emotion." T'pring refused to meet anyone's eye.
"You are a boy unable to resist your impulses, and I am a student of Kohlinar. I cried out."
T'pau was glad they could control themselves like Vulcans. T'pau looked at the younglings. "The fault is mine, youngling as such intense process should not be rushed. I have put too much pressure on you for one day." T'pau said "It would be the time to meditate then retreat to slumber."
The two children walk off their first fingers in chaste kiss. T'pau knew it would be a hard bond to forge. But both of them are determined to make it work, with all the force of their stubborn personalities. Perhaps it would not end as Amanda feared it would. Perhaps things will work.
T'pring/Spock: Twenty-One years ago.
"Explain."
"Specify."
"The Nature of thyself to me, Spock. Why should I love? Why should you love me instead of others? Why should I love Spock instead of others?
"It will make me happy, to know that I can be of use to someone. That my existence is not pointless."
"Why are your needs not as great as my needs, Spock? Why is your existence pointless if I do not love you. Why?"
Her thoughts hit him. The confusion hits his face hard. Her mind is powerful and heavy. Her thoughts are like bricks. Strong direct as good logical mind should produce. As her father taught her. He shrugs a bit. And his mind opens.
Spock's are not as thick, they are not as heavy. His thoughts wound and like grains of sand in a storm
I do not know.
Spock is no great thing. The needs of me are no great thing. T'pring is Vulcan and better. Spock is… Spock must be better. Therefore Spock must be Vulcan or Spock will be abandoned. Spock must be as others are or he will be alone
Tpring is overcome. She holds his hands. The dynamism of a mind is not like anything she felt. It was like reaching for a box and grabbing a ball. She could not weigh it, she could not measure it. It was there and intense.
She gives Spock her perception and her mind, as it is now. And offers her glimpse of him without ornament of praise or insult. Completely blank and disinterested, as she prayed it would be. Spock sees hims on the ground holding hands with Tpring and wilted flowers.
Spock. You fill me with bemusement. How can any one not care about the self? Your self is beautiful, Spock. Do not Abuse yourself or be a fool.
Spock opened his eyes "I am not a fool." He spoke aloud, and there was something in his voice. Something T'pring had never heard, was this anger. "Fools are not worthy of the regard I seek." He seemed finally not to want her with such force any more. His desire is muted by an frission of anger, supplanted by a slightly more delicate rhythm of fascination and guilt. It was bearable but so strange.
T'pring takes in a deep breath. They take getting used to
It is a delicate start. But it must grow carefully.
"Your discipline is far superior to your beauty, which I measure as extensive."
"This is the human thing known as flattery."
"Haduni Tpring." He calls her "Little Madame" Her title (as she was too young to be a proper Tsai.) Something only a proper Shikari gentleman "I am from Shikari. The day I flatter anyone I will not be fit to live on Vulcan." He said "I have gratitude for your help."
"Let us return to T'pau." Spock retained some modicum of calm he did not. "I am not a fool."
Spock/Tpring: Six Years ago
Spock was on Earth, it was night. T'pring perceived it all through her intended's bond. She wondered if his illogic and preference colors his perception. It is a beautiful clean place, not like she expected to see on Earth, from it's reputation. It looks like wilder sections of Shikar, with perversely human bent to their antiques, only 400 years old.
He had off campus quarters. When he found quarters in the penthouse of a small apartment building, his father bought the bought him the whole floor allow him latitude. Spock really did not know that he paid his rent to his father. Thinking he is somewhat independent. It is still not as spacious as the Compound in Shikar but he is a man of simple needs. He could moved to the barracks, had it not a view of the ocean. A
yearning to hear the tide gave him a serenity one rarely finds in nature. Never in Space.
The ocean guides his breaths. The oxygen saturates his mind with energy that would make T'pring air-drunk. The oxygen could make a man do drastic things. He does not desire his human neighbors to be alarmed or disturbed by the appearance of the couriers in the livery of the House Shintar. He believed they will raise his rent for the excessive noise their presence brings if this continued for much longer.
The humans are thrilled. They had known an alien of some interest was occupying the penthouse suite, and know unusual intergalactic happenings were taking place in their own building under their nose. At least they did not come in full formal armor with the Banners and Cestrum. He looks at them.
"I have neighbors. It is late. Please tread quietly."
Spock is only wearing second underwear. He has nothing on his body but a grey sweater his mother handcrafted for him and jeans, the distinctive blue cotton wear of many Earthlings. He never appeared so before her eyes. But this was the Apartment of Spock and she has no authority to tell him to dress decently. This is Earth. The Qomi wore bikinis and played in the ocean there.
Spock has feared to open the letter of Tpring but now it is too late.
"Schann Spock. Tsai Tpring Requires an answer to her letter."
"It is illogical that she has sent formal couriers to my quarters. Does she not apprehend the cultural differences of Vulcan and Earth? Or appreciate the spectacle that four Liveried Couriers would have in San Franscisco? They have been flying sub-light speed for nearly five days. For a matter of no galactic consequence."
While watching, he wrote her a response. He for the first time realized, he does not own paper. He has empty PADDs and blank media. The Couriers provide the silky grey parchment. They wait for him to find a pen.
"Milord, is it not saying something that She wishes for you to read her writing. And have it be known she is thine. To write on the subject of her attachment to thee. It may be undignified but some women have love for their mates and cannot help it"
Tpileh are not without graces as Shikari claim. Writing is a prized art. He returned to his clumsy handwriting, wondering if he should have taken more classes in the Deportment of a Gentleman, instead of visiting his cousins in Texas that summer of his Bar Mitzvah. His hand writing looked young. Broad wide and inexact.
"It is the tactics of psychological warfare, to manipulate me, using my weak emotional nature to make a decision on emotion alone. A man does not abandon his destiny and duty for a woman."
"Schann T'gai Spock."
"Illogical and Wasteful to send Couriers. She will text or comm me or…" He looked out the window at the sea "She must use the facility given to us by nature." He ruffled the hair on his neck. As he does when he is aggravated by the bond between them.
"She will not know you sir? She is your intended. The one to be thy bondmate. She has closed her mind to you before she has opened the door."
"The nature of this precious missive you have carried from Vulcan is this. She will not connect with me through our bond, have intercourse with me or connect with me until I am in Vulcan's Skies. By her own oath before her family and the conclave of High Priests, the High Council. She will never see me again until I return to Vulcan and never leave."
"You must forbear. She will be like a stranger to you. It is one thing not to see your intended but not to knowher." the courier said.
"All those years pimpery and sneaking around under my father's nose. The laws of modesty violated in secret to spend time together, while we did not know each other." He said. Spock drew his accent marks over his letters with a stern force almost indicating a less then serene mood. "One might have intercourse, be acquainted with a woman in all common things for many years and not truly know her." The tittles and graves nearly piercing the parchment. "She is a stranger to me now, if she can say such things." He said.
Spock noticed her in his mind. He closed his eyes
"T'pring you were the one who desires to be separated, since I joined Star Fleet Academy. I am going to have an angry reaction and need time to purge it. Remove yourself from my mind. Or I promise you that you will feel it. Perhaps it is I who will not know you."
T'pring knew that he could accidentally do such a thing. Anger filling his beautiful mind quickly leaving no room for elegance. It was like drowning in emotion. She cannot imagine the pain it causes Spock. She had never been threatened with his anger. She shielded from their mating link the second he feels her. She is rebuffed in a puff of shadow, returned to her own mind.
Spock was Crazy like that.
T'pau Now
Sor girds Spock in a precious scrap of Surak's purple and the two approach. It looks thread bare, compared to the beauty of the surplice Sarek's mother had sewn for him. Surakian Purple was frequently torn by eager male hands insane with Plaktow.
Vulcan Textiles are rarer then dilithium. The colony is clad in simple white clothing, human thickness and weft. A thin twill that scratches their skin. Some come to think that it is mourning garb of Vulcans. It is the result of having all your clothing immediately vaporized as it is crushed in a black hole. They have to conserve resources for construction material, building and agricultural equipment and fuel reserves.
The Systrum and the Rattle and the Symbol shiver. These have a savage appearance, made of shells and wood and scrap metal, crafted by idle Vulcan hands few weeks ago. Not precious bronze silver and gold laced by a long dead craftsman. There are many more bells then before. Some of the crowd have taken to bring rattles and even sheet metal to add to the cacophony.
The most beautiful copper gong was constructed. In a hexagon. Six-sided to represent virtues of an ideal mate, the elegant sciences depicted as maidens. The secret scripts reproduced, that no Vulcan can read properly any longer. Spock hits it with his elegant Tumari hammer strips of vinyl, not leather like the real Tumari hammers. Even in his illness Spock is overcome by the beauty of the craftsmanship. It is an exact copy of his families marriage gong. Only the copper has not covered by a patina. It glints Unworldly red and yellow.
The sound is beautiful, and shakes delicately even minutes later. Shakk the metallurgist and instrument craftsman died of grief three weeks ago as if he had Bendaii. His dying words were he could not die until he saw it wrung. But Grief is Illogical as it deadly and the damage to his heart was done. His mind could not fix it, in a last burst of productivity produced this for today.
Spock reaches out for her as they did when they were children. T'pring shows her true colors in a glitter of her eye and a tightening of her pupil. It is such a small motion it is barely readable.
The whole colony has waited for a Koon-at-kal-I-fee. A few years ago most would moan the loss of productivity and the troubles that rising Vulcans would get themselves into. Angered that they would be put out by a wedding party or a grooms feast. Now most of those people were dead so they would certainly not have to attend their wedding parties.
Now the lack of a constant and regular wedding and births to compliment the increasing funerals. No one wanted to construct any more pyres, no more funeral cones, no graves. The Vulcans that remained sharing stories and contrasting the Koon-at-kal-I-fee customs from place to place. The Trelat wear masks and wear red and purple. Tpileh brides shear their hair and use the braid as a lucky charm. Tumar have a child sing a hymn. But with no men rising, these things taunt. It is these tiny things that no one realized were illogic in the grand scheme of the universe, that sting the most of all when lost.
They wish to know things will be as they were, but they are monstrously deluded.
T'pau does not share the exultation of the masses for a match. They are both wealthy which gives them latitude, Intellect which push them to Wisdom and Accomplishment. They have Political Connection. And this aural gravity that only few of the commoners can see. There are some that Spock was less Vulcan because of a deviation in his genetic pattern, the Qomi blood in his veins. Not only was it within the most sacred standard of deviation, it gave his katra such unusual strength and virtue, it would never be duplicated.
The fools had so many reason. His ears were short for a man, His eyebrow did not grow long enough. His eyes flickered light this way or that, his brow quivered with rage or joy, instead of lying flat. A Vulcan is more than a still face. Parasites might paralyze the muscles of the face. A Vulcan is not in his face. It is nonsense when it comes to the Katra, the Life and spirit which flows in anything. He is a great Vulcan. They have waited him to take their place among Vulcan Society.
The masses think they know what they want. Spock must give them young. T'pring was his only equal. They would walk hand in hand down the Path of Kohlinar and come to it's end. Alone, who knows what mischief they would do if they were not wed.
T'pau has a flash of a memory of what it is to be angry. She must let it go.
There is something wrong in the match.