On The Equinox

Ficlet

Chapter One: All I Believe In

"Meet me on the Equinox
Meet me half way
When the sun is perched at it's highest peek
In the middle of the day"

"Let me give my love to you
Let me take your hand
As we walk in the dimming light
Oh, darling understand"

I growled to myself. "Stupid Sam, stupid Emily. Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I sighed heavily, sitting back down on the bed in the room above the chapel where my ex and his lovely bride-to-be were to be wed. I could see the white dress slung over a large mirror decorated with flowers.

'Roses' I snorted, 'How poeticly cheesy.'

Emily was busy being fawned over by my aunt, her mother. Being primmed to perfection and slathered in makeup to try and hide the ugly scarrs that marred her face. Before I knew that she had stolen my fiancee, I felt so sorry for her. But now, some sick inner thoughts of mine thought them justice. Even more so that Sam was the one to create them.

I was a twisted excuse for a human being...or, rather a werewolf.

I picked up a rose, picking off the petals, imagining that he rose was Sam and here I was, tearing off little pieces at a time, watching them fall to the ground.

'He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me...not!' I stared at the results, the pink heart-shapes collected in my lap and the bare rose head a poor excuse fo a flower without it's velvet petals.

I hated roses, the symbol of love! They were beautiful and everyone thought them the most lovliest of things...until you tried to pick one and pick your finger on the thorns. 'And they need dung to grow, I mean, come on!.'

I brushed the petals off my lap and decided to not prolong the momet of unraveling my bridesmaid dress. I was sure that it would be pink, a sickly suger pink of pink roses. Girly and cute! It would be the kind of thing Emily would like.

I stood, holding up the hanger with a black covering, concealing the thing underneith. I inhaled and pulled down the zip of the black covering.

It was pink.

It was far too long, the dress ending at floor length. There was a bow attatched to the back of it that was almost comically tacky and was another shade of pink, yet still clashed terribly.

I let out a small moan of annoyance. It was Emily's last chance to redeem herself and she failed. I gritted my teeth and pulled the gahstly thing out, holding it by my fingertips as to not let it near me. It was horrible.

"Sure, Em. I'll submit mysef to torture and go to your wedding. Oh yes, and thank you for kicking me even harder by adding humiliation on top of akwardness and biterness." I muttered to myself and holding the thing against me, looking at my reflection.

I truly saw myself. Even though I had my hair done up prettily in an upknot, it was ratty and in poor condition. I had bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and the whites of my eyes were pink. 'To match the dress.'

I looked at the offending item critically and balled my hands into fist, my nails digging into my palms so much that the skin tore and a miniscule drop of blood oozed out from it. But it healed quickley and I didn't really care much for it. I would happily stab myself in the hand a million times if i never had to wear the dress.

I picked it up, gingerly and undid the crude zip at the side. Laying it over the top of the chairs, I slid my sundress over my head before stepping into the pink monstrosity, and zipping it up again.

It was strapless, the bust snugly fitting against my curves. Aside from the garish colour, the top part wasn't too bad. But the skirt was poofy, bunching out far too much, the silk material drapping against the netting underneith. Then there was the bow...

I turned around so I could see my back in the mirror, slowly reached up whilst twisting my arm akwardly, and carefully ripped it off. It was a clean excecution, only slightly ruffeling the stitching along the waist line. Then, there was the skirt I had to deal with.

"Stupid Emily with her stupid netting!" I mumered as I reached under my dress, and started ripping it off, layer after layer falling down, stratching my legs on the way. After I looked, again, at my reflection, the outcome was still disgustingly...pink! "If only i had a bucket of dye..." I murmered hands on hips. But, overall, mildly acceptable. The silk material of the skirt, although too long, drapped against the curve of my thighs, almost elegantly and, now that the bow was gone, my tiny waist was eccentuated. I smiled, admiring my handywork.

Although, he stitching at the back, where it had been upsetted, had a small hole showing my russet skin. I stomped my way over the room and opened the door that the hairdresser was working in, curling some of Emily's tresses, trying to hide the worst of the scars.

I didnt look at Emily, and she didn't look at me, as I spoke. "Hiya Ellie."

"Yes, dear? What do you want?" The hairdresser spoke, smiling.

"Do you have any wide ribbon?" I asked.

"Some. What colour?"

I shrugged, looking down at my dress. "Something that will go with this. And some thread and needle."

Ellie nodded. "Hold on Emily while I sort this out."

She bustled towards the back room, before comming out with three rolls of ribbon, in the pink of the dress, a mauve and a deep perusian black. I hastily picked the black one, before smiling at Ellie, taking the thread and needle. "Thanks." And quickly walked back into the room. I rolled out the ribbon, making a makeshift belt, sewing the ends together.

I wasn't the best at crafts and when I was little, when I shoved into going to Arts and Crafts club with Emily, one time in a summer camp, our parents had forced us to go to so, in the club, I threw a hissy fit. Emily was carefully making a necklace, threading beads, pink of course, onto a thread. I, on the other hand, just screamed until I was sent to my room, to calm down.

I cried and cried that night, and Emily, who was sleeping in the bed below in the bungalow, climbed up to the top, held my hand and gave me the necklace, telling me that it was okay.

I was seven, before I met Sam, before Emily met him, before she had those ugly scars that disfigured her face.

That was another time alltogether.

I still had the necklace somewhere.

I shook my head, shutting off the thoughts of a time where I was a girl who gossiped about boys, who would constantly talk on the phone to her girlfriends when forced to babysit the nine boys whom she, now, could hear the every thought of. I was a different Leah. The Leah I once was would put up with a sickley pink dress.

But not me. Emily had laid out some pink pumps in my size, obviously for me to wear, but instead, I raided a closet until I found some black stilletoes left over from a previous wedding.

"All done." I smiled, satisfied with myself as i looked upon my reflection. Despite he bags under my heavily make-uped eyes, and the sallow look in my cheeks, I looked aspretty as I had been since I turned all werewolf.

I heard a knock at the door. "Who is it?" 'Please let it not be Sam, Oh please, Oh please!'

"It's Jake."

I rolled my eyes, before walking over to the door and swinging it open. "What do you want?"

He stopped for a second, his eyes raking me up and down, before he smiled. "Wow, Leah. You look really nice."

I snorted unattractivly. "It's a change."

He walked in and I shut the door behind him. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He was in a tux, the white shirt stretching across his chest, the top few buttons undone, the dinnerjacket finishing the look. I smiled sarcasticly. "You don't clean up too bad either." I sniffed. "What's that, aftershave?"

He rolled his eyes. "Shut it."

But I just grinned further. "Took a shower too! Good boy."

"Ah, there's the Leah I know. For a second there, I thought you were nice again." He spoke lazily. It stung slightly, for reasons unknown to me, but i brushed it off.

"Well, anyway, Why are you here?"

"The wedding is in about twenty minuits and the Best Men and Bridesmaids are lining up."

I blanked. "Twenty minuits? Shit." Twenty minuits until my ex-fiancee would marry my cousin, my old best friend.

Jacob nodded. "Wanna go down?"

I scoffed. "What's my other option, sitting in here crying?" I shook my head. "I'm not going to prove to Sam how weak I am. I'm going."

He nodded. The members from the other pack thought I was going for Emily, because I still loved her. But how could I love her? Only Seth and Jake knew the real reasons for going. To show Sam.

"Shall we go?"

He nodded, holding out his arm which I took withought even a second thought.

When we were downstairs, the other member's of the procession included Claire as a flower girl, being carried by Emily's older brother and Claire's father. Jared was holding the arm of Sam's cousin and Paul and Rachel were also there. Each of the girls were wearing the identical dresses of pink and the only one who looked good was Claire, the bow at the back looking like overly large and pretty wings.

"Why'd you get lumbered with me?"

Jake shrugged. "Sam knows that Jared has Kim and so won't hit on his cousin." I laughed a small chuckle and Jacob grinned with me.

Then, the music started up and the people in front started walking. Jake raised an eyebrow at me. "Why are you wearing a different dress then the others?" He asked.

I shushed him, smiling before following in the procession.

We got to the end and Jacob stood next to Sam. Sam looked at me quickly, a small smile on his face, nodded appreciatably, before turning towards the front. I hated him for that. Everyone stood up as the music escalated into the farmilliar wedding march. Even Billy, craned his neck to try and see the bride.

Emily was in a similar dress to us, but hers was white with pink trimming, the bodice had lace around it and the skirt was far more elegant, her train behind the upknot of her hair.

I didn't look at them, nor did I pay any attention, I just stared foreward, think about anything but Emily...or Sam. I looked at the guests, the boys in the front few rows wth other family members and elders, behind them, where the distant reletives and, behind that, some friends from Forks.

It was funny seeing the boys all in suits, Seth shifting uncomfortably in his shirt and Embry and Quil fidgiting, trying to listen to Emily's vow.

I didn't, instead I made my own vow.

I vow to never ever get hung up on you Sam, to hate you, forever and allways. I vow, to myself, that I will not again blame myself for something that was your fault. I vow to never cave when you use my old nickname and I promise to not cry at nights anymore. I promise that I will find a nice boyfriend and flaunt him in front of you, showing how much I am over you. I vow ever to have to see that pitying look in your eyes again. And I promise, that I will NEVER imprint.

I finished my internal monologue with a frown as Emily's came to a close and Sam started his. If I listened, I would be sure that I would just imagine him saying the same to me, if it were our wedding day. So I didn't listen. Instead, I made plans.

Even though the twins, Dumb and Dumber, Quil and Embry, were irritating, I loved Jacob's pack. I didn't want to stop being a werewolf so soon, instead, I wanted that freedom to fly and forever plague Sam's life. Jake and I had came to an...understaning. As his Beta, he trusted me and I trusted him. It was as close to friendship as it would get, but it was comfortable. He gave you choices and didn't think of himself as Alpha, the leader. Even though he was pretty darn good at it.

And Seth, I couldn't leave him. I was there to protect him and to stay with him.

Sam's vow came to a close. And then the man at the front spoke the dreaded words.

"You may now kiss the bride." I shut my eyes as I didn't want to see, feeling my eyes welling up. From a distance, I heard Quil and Embry wolf whisteling, making me chuckle as I opened my eyes.

The procession started again, with Emily, holding onto Sam, and Claire with her dad, following.

I met up with Jacob at the front as we walked down the aisle. "How was it?" He asked.

I replied with a soft growl. But Jake didn't laugh, he nodded. "Yeah. Sucks doesn't it."

I tuned to face him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "It was like when I saw Bells marrying the bloodsucker." He murmered softly to me.

"It's nothing like it!" I growled. "She's not Sam. She had a choice. She loved you."

He nodded. "Leah, I see a lot more into Sam's head then he thinks." He said as we reached the end of the aisle.

I looked confused at him. "Wait, what do you me-" But he gave me a one armed hug before walking off.

"Bye Leah. See you in a few at the reception."

I started after him, frowning as he got towards his car, helping Billy up. Before driving off.

I frowned after him before walking to my car, where Seth met up wth me. "Hiya Leah! How are you?"

I glared at him. "I'm fine." I muttered. "Jesus, why are you looking at me as if i'm going to rip your head off?"

He shrugged. "Nothing..."