THE GRIM ADVENTURES OF SOLID SNAKE
Nar2: let=s let our story begin where it ends, and end where it begins. That being the end of the beginning, where our story starts to start and begins to begin, the ending of the beginning that starts the end of this story.
*BOOM-Large explosion in a deserted town*
Solid Snake: *Jumps out o back of a truck wearing a sombrero* Finally I'm in America. I knew that stupid border couldn't stop me, The Solid Snake. *Looks around* Wait a second...This isn't America. I've been tricked by Big Boss and his damned INS!!! *Turns and looks at truck driver*
Truck Driver: HA HA for no reason I'm going to fire this LAZAR!!! *Fires laser out of the back of the truck that launches snake to the beginning of Mgs4*
Snake:*gets call on the codec* Otacon!?...
Otacon:*200 seconds of silence*
Snake: I'm in a battlefield... People are...Fighting
Otacon: Don't interact with them Snake their not your enemy's and their enemies aren't your enemy's either. And I'm not sure but the enemy's of your enemy's that aren't your enemy's, could be the enemy's of their enemy's so their NOT your enemy's!!!
Nar2: Suddenly snake gets surrounded by Gekko metal gears
Otacon: Those are GEKKOS!
Snake: No their not! Their robots stuuuuupid
Otacon: Gekko metal gears, Snake
Snake: They don't look anything like gekkos thou-
Otacon: Don't interact with them snake! Their not your enemy=s!
Snake: But*Gekkos start shooting* AH!!! *Runs away from gekkos into a building*
Nar2: The gekkos follow snake and climb all over the building and do back flips off. Then they run off into the sunset...thats not setting.
Snake: pant-pant-pant I escaped...Barely
Otacon: good... I was worried snake...worried ....for a long time...iloveyou
Snake: What?
Otacon: I asked how you are
Snake: oh I'm fine! Everythings great! Lifelong war is FUN!..and the best part? I'm fucking OLD!
Otacon: You age faster because you're a clone
Snake: Ok im a clone but why am I old now...
Otacon: You see snake....you...are a clone
Snake: I already know that, but why in only 5 years did I go from being 35 years old to a 65 year old!?
Otacon: I can explain that! Years ago big boss wanted a clone to continue his legacy. Snake...you are his clone!
Snake: let me spell it for you! W-H-Y-A-M-I-O-L-D!!!???
Otacon: Snake...this may come as a shock to you...but.... you are a clone!
Snake:But wh-
Otacon- OF BIG BOSS!
Snake: forget it *hangs up*
Nar2:Snake walks through a battlefield. People are getting shot and exploding everywhere. Some of them run around screaming in flames and snake ignores it all. He walks into a building where Otacon calls him again.
Snake: WHAT NOW!!!???
Otacon:*screaming like a maniac* GIFTS, I BRING GIFTS!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Nar2: suddenly an eyepatch comes from nowhere and blows snake through a wall.
Snake:OW! What the fuck, an eyepatch. Way to make me look older asshole!
Otacon: Snake thats the solid eye. It's a magic eyepatch that lets you see everything!
Snake: So thats why there's all these unicorns everywhere!
Nar2: we zoom out to see unicorns all around snake
Otacon: No snake thats just a reaction to the brain trauma
Snake: oh....wait I cant see anything this thing only covers one eye, it makes my vision all blurry
Otacon: Yeah....I couldn't figure out how to make it cover both eye=s
Snake: Your...an idiot.
Otacon: HERE'S A ROBOT!!!!!
Nar2: a small hunk of flaming metal flies from the sky and smashes snake into the ground like a meteor.
Otacon: this is metal gear mark 2, he's just like rex except I took away anything useful that he might have
Snake: hes nothing like rex....he's tiny!!!
Otacon: no he's just like rex
Snake: If I remember correctly metal gear rex was like a kabagillion feet tall and I only fought him 8 years ago. All thats happened since than is that I've gotten older!
Otacon: Older, or bigger?
Snake: *sigh* so what's the point of this little thing?
Otacon: it's a tv. That we can see each other through...and it dances!
Mk2:*starts break dancing*
Snake: thats cool I guess
Mk2: *disappears*
Snake: that figures....it doesn't help at all....whatever.
Nar2: snake sneaks around doing several barrel rolls and flips even though there is no one around. Than Vamp appears on a roof.
Vamp: will you be the one to finally finish me?
Snake: No motherfucker! How many times do you fucking ask me? If you want to die so bad just jump off a fucking roof!
Nar2: Vamp jumps off the roof and all the cars in the area explode
Snake: let's go to seaworld, shamu do a flip!
Shamu: Iduwwana!
Snake: JERK!*shoots shamu* ok. Lets fight! * aims gun*
Vamp:* sticks out tounge*
Snake: yeah real mature!
Nar2:Vamps tounge grows and wraps around snake. Then he shakes him and millions of items fall out and explode upon contact with the floor.
Vamp: haw haw youh cand shtop mah toung
Nar2: vamps tounge is than cut in half and snake floats away
Raiden: but I can!
Vamp: Immortal?
Raiden: No im just not afraid of deaf
Deaf guy: Youh bedda be afwaid of me! * cuts off raidens arm*
nar2: vamp runs forward and stab Raiden through the chest and milk sprays out
Raiden: NO you hit my milk engine!
Vamp: MILK? My only weakness! *melts*
Raiden: I finally killed him snake, I* other arm falls off*- damn..
Snake: *appears* Wow you cool now.
Raiden: Yes more than I ever was I'm more than a character people want to know about... im a superhero* cape appears on back*
Snake: but Im the best hero...EVER!
Raiden: Not according to game informer magazine. I was rated the number two hero of 2008. You werent even on the list. People just love my redemption story.
Snake: Eh lets go on an adventure!
Raiden: No I need to dissapere for a long time and come back when your in danger!
Snake: this is a fanfic! Anything can happen *cupcake appears on head* so lets go on a adventure!
Raiden: Ok right no-
Otacon: IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT!!!!!
End OF PART ONE!