Disclaimer- I'm lazy so I hired Captain Jack Sparrow to do the Disclaimer.
Captain Jack- Songs-of-the-wolf does happen to own Twilight-
Will Turner-Pirate! Twilight isn't hers!
Captain Jack-Technically it is mate she bought the book and so she does in fact own Twilight, otherwise how would she be able to do a fan fiction?
Will Turner-But she didn't come up with the idea for Twilight!
Captain Jack-No Stephenie Meyer did, and thus the name FANfiction you halfwit. Now where's the rum Songs-of-the-wolf owes me?
Chapter 1
How would you like me to introduce myself? "Hi I am" is boring "Hey y'all how you doin?" reminds me of bad sitcoms and my little sister's friend Jodie who's an annoying twerp. There are millions of ways to introduce yourself I guess, but I find it hard to say in a sentence what sums me up. So I'll tell you about me first.
My life is one big problem. Problem might as well be my middle name, some might think that an apt name for me as that's what they feel I am to them. Those who think that don't know the meaning of problem. I'll start at the bottom of my list shall I?
Problem 1: My hair is blond. I was originally brunette. Why did I dye it? 'Cause I'm an idiot.
Problem 2: I have no job.
Problem 3: Due to me having no job I cannot afford to fix my car.
Problem 4: My little sister, Jasmine, is ill so I have to stay home and baby-sit all the time.
Problem 5: Due to this my social life-and therefore my social status- has decreased.
Problem 6: Most these problems wouldn't be problems if it weren't for my mom.
Problem 7: My mom is an alcoholic.
Problem 8: My life sucks.
And people wonder why I'm never happy.
Happiness… what a stupid word. It belongs in a fairytale, for that's all it is. A hope that sends you to sleep at night, a thing that's every bit as mythical as the fairies and dragons that are so richly illustrated on the thin, misleading pages. For the words and pictures cover what is underneath the fairytale, the bleached, barren, emotionless paper.
That is what is real. That is my life. A blank uncaring piece of paper with the ghost of a fairytale rubbed fiercely out off of its surface.
I can just imagine the title of my story now- Lauren Mallory the girl who lived happily never after.
A/N Hope you liked it! This will be a chaptered fic and I'll get round to doing the other chapters as soon as I can but Ican't avoid writers block I'm afraid.
Captain Jack: Where's my rum?
Me: You drank it.
Captain Jack but that was only 4 bottles!
Me: Oh go loot some innocent bystander who doesn't review this story.