My second Glee fic =D I actually tried to write one like this of the High School Musical variety, years ago on a different account but I got bored, cause, well... the characters are crap compared to this lot.

And the way I've written the simultaneous conversations at the beginning is kind of an experiment. Simon Stephens did it in his play Punk Rock (AWESOME read) and when I saw it, it was really cool.

Enjoy!

(Please...)

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'Five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred minutes...' Rachel belted out from the front of the stage.

'Puck, man, what's that on the back of your head?' Finn asked cautiously.

'Rachel, you know that song is supposed to be sung by a cast of eight?' Kurt sniffed from where he sat cross legged on the side of the stage.

'Are you raggin' on my 'hawk, man?' Puck shot Finn a warning look.

'Are you suggesting, Kurt, that I do not contain as much talent as the RENT Broadway cast because believe me you, I have MET Adam Pascal, and...'

'No, man, there's something, like, gooey, on the back of your head. Like a huge booger or something but... brown.'

'Honey, get an ass like Taye Diggs, then you can lecture me about the RENT cast.'

'Oh, damn, I missed some. I was making a peanut butter and jelly smoothie and 'cause I'm such a badass I didn't need to put the top on. I guess some of the mixture escaped my wrath.'

'Kurt, do you try to be a stereotypical homosexual male? Cause it certainly sounds like it and - I will tell you this for free! - in the jungle that is high school...'

'Dude, you have issues. Did the badass's mom ground him when she saw what mess he'd made?'

'Rachel! Just cool it. Is it my fault that Taye Diggs is such an exquisite specimen?'

'No, dude, I wouldn't take any of that grounding shit.'

'Okay, so Taye Diggs is rather attractive in his early works but that does not mean that you should put him above someone like me who you already know and love!'

'So what did she do?'

'Oh, I'm not so sure...'

'She, uh, took away my laptop.'

'I'll have you know, Kurt...'

'Wow, good thing you're such a badass.'

Puck grimaced at his best friend and threw a crumpled up piece of paper at him. 'Shut up.' He swung round in the auditorium seat and tried to focus on whatever gayness was going on onstage.

'People!' Rachel held up her hands, halting all conversation. 'Mr. Schuester has given us an hour in here to sort out our next number, which he has already assigned us. Now, I am already fully prepared to take it as a solo and give everyone else a... well-deserved break.'

There was a moment of tense silence before the conversations re-erupted all over the auditorium. Puck suppressed a laugh as he glanced up at the fallen leader. Man, if she's standing onstage all the time, she shouldn't wear such tiny skirts. Especially not when there are horny Pucks in the audience... He shook his head quickly. Forget it.

'Well, you know how it is,' Santana continued, from her seat in the corner, mock-earnestly. 'Boys are only after one thing!'

Brittany leaned in closer. 'And what is that?' She whispered.

Santana rolled her eyes and turned to Quinn. 'Hey, yummy mummy! Give up planning your baby's wardrobe for a sec and help me talk Brittany out of seeing that 40 year old guy.'

'He's not 40! He told me he was 39 and 13 months.' Brittany nodded, satisfied.

Quinn shook her head and got up, marching to the front. 'Hey, Priscilla Queen of the Desert!' she yelled at Kurt, ignoring Rachel. 'Do I even have to be here?'

'Yes!' Kurt responded. 'We are doing the number as a group!'

'We don't have to!' Rachel cut in.

'Yes we-'

'Hey!' Mercedes cut in, peeved at having to leave her conversation with Artie and Tina. 'Why don't we just let white girl do it, man? Then we can leave here!'

'No! Joanne Jefferson hits a high G in this song and I will be damned if I don't get to sing it!' Kurt stamped his foot.

'Screw this.' Quinn said. 'I'm leaving.' She turned and walked over to the double-doors, trying to push them open. They wouldn't budge. She tried again. Nothing. 'Puck!' she called him over irritably. 'These doors won't open.'

Puck, up for anything that would show his badassness, got up and swaggered over to assist her. 'Your weakness amuses me.' He told her in his best Sue Sylvester impression.

'Shut up.' she hit his arm. 'Just get me out of here.'

Puck rolled his eyes and, a little cockily, pushed the door. Nothing happened. He snorted dismissively and tried again. Nothing. He kicked it, hard. It stayed strong, his foot taking the brunt of the force. 'Fffuck- Ah, there's something wrong with the door. Yo, Finn!' He got his friends attention. 'Try that door over there.'

He gestured towards the emergency exit on the other side of the stage. Finn looked confused, as ever, but got up and tried to comply. However, the door, like the first one, would not budge.

'Dude, it won't open!' He yelled across the hall, attracting the attention of the rest of the group, who assembled in a cluster around the front of the stage.

'What do you mean, it won't open?' Rachel said.

'I mean, it won't open.' Finn said. 'Hang on, let me call Mr. Schue.' He got out his cell phone and wandered off.

'Great, with my luck I'll be stuck in here all weekend,' Kurt muttered. 'Aaron Tveit's Facebook will not stalk itself!'

'That's just creepy, dude.' Puck gave him a weird look. Before Kurt could justify his statement, Finn came back over.

'Guys, there's been a shooting scare.' He said, folding his cell phone. 'Mr. Schue said all doors in the school are locked until further notice.'

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Don't you just love it when you're on Facebook and it's the person you likes birthday and their name is on your homepage all day =D

Anyways, I wrote this quickly this morning and I'll probably map out the rest later (Snow day. Not amused.)

Please review!

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