A/N: Well, it's been a while... I think I'm beginning to lose my touch when it comes to writing these stories. Anyways...I used Google Translator for the Russian words so if they're wrong, let me know and I'll fix them. :). Enjoy.
She knows it's absolute the moment she catches his gaze when they're sitting there in that small and quaint little diner that doesn't really suit people like them. She holds onto his gaze, holds onto the moment and forgets everyone else around them because now it's all about them.
It's about all the years, all the months, all the weeks and days they've had together. It's about every moment of every day, of every hour of every second that they've shared together. It's about every mission and every time she pulls that trigger and every time she turns that corner when she knows that without doubt, he'll have her back. It's about the friendship, the loyalty and trust that she doesn't do with anyone else but him. It's about the thought of how close they actually came to losing each other that breaks those walls they've both carefully built around them.
She sees it all in his eyes and she knows he sees it too because there isn't a moment when he dares to look away. There isn't a blink, a quiver or thought or word that is spoken. There's only them sitting there, looking at each other, reminding each other how close they came to losing everything.
She feels the ring dangling at her neck and suddenly the thought of it weighs her down and brings her back down to earth. It reminds her that they're not alone, that there are others around them and that she really shouldn't be letting her guard down quite that easily. But then his eyes soften and his gaze still doesn't leave hers. She feels the gentle touch of his hand on hers and then she doesn't care anymore.
She doesn't care that the others are watching. She doesn't care that Tony's watching and probably going to comment about it later. She doesn't care that there's still a smear of blood on her forehead or that her left ankle is particularly shooting waves of pain through her shin. She doesn't care that there's probably going to be a bruise on her stomach in the shape of a boot print the size of his shoe. She doesn't care that later on when they're alone he'll break down and he'll cry and tell her how sorry he is and how he'll never be able to forgive himself even though she'll tell him multiple times that none of it was his fault.
She'll only care when he finally realizes and admits that none of it was his fault but Loki's entirely. She'll only care when he finally lets her pick up the pieces and remind him that despite everything, she still loves him. She'll only care when he's holding her later on and when he's promising her that he'll never, ever, let himself hurt her ever again. She'll only care when he's tracing his finger along the side of her jaw bone and when he whispers to her silly things like how he'll always love her and protect her and look after her until the end of time. She'll always care when it comes to the things that are between them that are far better off for children than for people like them. She always will even though she knows it isn't good for them.
It's just like she knows that he'll keep on loving her and cherishing her and watching her back even though she'll tell him countless of times he doesn't really need too because she's already watching hers and his combined. It's just the way she is and the way she'll always be. She'll carry his love with her to her grave and she knows in return he'll do the same.
She knows because when his hand wraps around hers he smiles a little despite everything. He lets one corner of his lip curl and one eye brow dip even though he knows that they're not alone. He lets one dimple show and that same warmth she didn't realized she missed settles in his gaze again. It's all she needs to know to smile a real smile even though she knows Tony will undoubtedly comment in the next 10 seconds.
Tony doesn't which surprizes her. Instead she finds the billionaire leaning back on his char staring blankly at the ceiling. She finds Thor lost in the mountain of food around him looking to each basket of food as if he were a little boy trying to decide whether to have the cookie or the cake first. Steve's hands are holding up his head and his eyes are closed and clearly he's sleeping from the way he breathes evenly. Bruce looks too lost staring into the distance that makes her quite certain of the fact that even an explosion wouldn't make him hulk out right now.
She sets her eyes back on him again and she finds him slouching on his chair, looking at her with those warm eyes and that one curl at his lip. She takes that moment to shift her seat a little bit closer, pausing momentarily to make sure that she doesn't accidentally nudge his injured foot that's resting behind her. She slips her knees to the side of his inner thigh and she leans into him, into his welcoming embrace.
If the others are watching, they don't comment about it because all she hears is their chewing and the occasional crinkle of a wrapper. She presses the tip of her nose into the side of his neck and she slips a hand around his waist and the other around his neck. She feels his left hand shifting around her shoulder and she feels his right hand playing with the loose ends of her hair at the back of her neck. She feels every muscle in her body relax and she feels the same in him too.
"спасибо," he mumbles softly to her. Thank you.
"за то, что, Barton?" she asks. For what, Barton?
"спас меня," he tells her and pauses for a moment before he murmurs, "Любить меня…" Saving me. Loving me.
"Кто-то должен," she whispers and smiles. Somebody has to.
He doesn't say anything but she feels his hands tighten around her. Then she feels him shift and move until his nose presses on her inner shoulder. "Другие будут знать, Tasha," he murmurs. The others will know, Tasha.
"Я был бы обеспокоен, если бы они этого не сделали," she tells him softly and without looking already knows that the others have caught sight of them already. I'd be concerned if they didn't.
She also knows that though later on he'll still cry, he'll let her hold him and let her pick up the pieces. She knows this just as much as she knows how easy it is to pull that trigger, to hurt and to assassinate. She knows this because even though she could be anybody she wants to be or needs to be, what she feels here, for him and with him, that's hers and theirs alone.
"Whenever you think or you believe or you know, you're a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you're nobody-but-yourself." - E.E. Cummings