Hello my loving readers. This series is brand new. It's called Ads of Love and it's basically ads that would be in newpapers or magazines that would be advertising dates for the characters of Harry Potter.
I'm posting this for my own amusement, but if you all like it, then I will gladly post more. I already have two more ready to post. I will also take suggestions or you can write your own ad and I will post and credit you.
Also, if you wanted to know, all these ads would be featured in The Quibbler.
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Hermione would not have been so close-minded, Ron would not have been a jealous idiot, and Molly and Ginny would have jumped in the Black Lake.
Snape Wants to Snap You Up
If you love snarky potion masters, then you are reading the right ad for you. Severus Snape, 39, is the man of your dreams. From his midnight black hair silky with grease from potion fumes; black souless eyes so cold that it will be easy for Snape to warm you up with his velvet bat cape that he calls a robe; crooked non-white teeth; and horribly disfigured face with an unfortunate beak-like nose, you'll feel like he was your soul-mate. His likes include married red-headed muggleborn named after flowers and playing pet to a noseless half-snake, half-skeleton master.
Warning: May cause irritation and desire to commit homicide.